Apply the dichotomy of control from dawn to night
The Discipline of Assent doesn’t really cover new ground, but instead, it cements the first two disciplines in your mind by teaching you to pay careful attention to how your mind works, and how to correct false judgments as they arise. When Alice started her Stoic practice, she was stressed about things at work that she now considers minor through her practice of the Discipline of Desire. While applying the Discipline of Action, she learned how to fulfill her role at work in a more Stoic manner. But, while she has made great progress, she realizes she’s no sage and works on the Discipline of Assent constantly. This week’s technique helps Alice keep the third discipline always in mind, and it’s one you should apply from the time you wake up in the morning until you fall asleep at night.
"It is by this principle above all that you must guide yourself in training. Go out as soon as it is dawn and whomsoever you may see and hear, question yourself and answer as to an interrogator.
What did you see? A beautiful woman or boy. Apply the rule: Is this within the will’s control or beyond it? Beyond. Away with it then!
What did you see? One mourning at his child’s death. Apply the rule: Is death beyond the will, or can the will control it? Death is beyond the will’s control. Put it out of the way then!
Did a Consul meet you? Apply the rule: What is a consulship? Is it beyond the will’s control or within it? Beyond it. Take it away—the coin will not pass; reject it, you have no concern with it.
I say, if we did this and trained ourselves on this principle every day from dawn to night, we should indeed achieve something. As it is, we are caught open mouthed by every impression we meet, and only in the lecture room, if then, does our mind wake up a little. Then we go into the street and if we see a mourner we say, ‘He is undone’; if a Consul, ‘Lucky man’; if an outlaw, ‘Miserable man’; if a poor man, ‘Wretched man, he has nothing to buy food with.’
These mistaken judgments we must eradicate, and concentrate our efforts on doing so. For what is weeping and lamenting? A matter of judgment. What is misfortune? Judgment. What is faction, discord, criticism, accusation, irreligion, foolishness? All these are judgments, nothing else, and judgments passed on things beyond the will, as though they were good and evil. Only let a man turn these efforts to the sphere of the will, and I guarantee that he will enjoy peace of mind, whatever his circumstances may be.”
Epictetus, Discourses III, 3.14–19
You know, since we’ve reached the end of the book, that this week’s lesson is important. Let us start by acknowledging that Epictetus sounds pretty harsh this time around. It’s almost as though Epictetus wants us to turn into Cynics (in the philosophical sense of the term1)—he demands that we completely detach ourselves from externals, including our career, our sexual appetites, and even our loved ones. But Epictetus was not a Cynic (though he, as other Stoics, admired his philosophical cousins). Perhaps he was just a bit more blunt than gentler spirits like Seneca.
That said, Epictetus makes an important promise: If you truly apply the dichotomy of control, every day and on every occasion, then your life will be marked by serenity, regardless of your specific circumstances. You will develop an attitude of equanimity that allows you to accept whatever comes your way: If things turn out as desired, be thankful; if not, be resilient.
The underlying idea should be familiar, as it is at the foundation of Stoic philosophy: The only truly good thing in life is to arrive at good judgments, and the only truly bad thing in life is to arrive at bad judgments (this is the knowledge we get from the virtue of practical wisdom). Everything else is either a preferred or a dispreferred indifferent, as it does not make you, per se, a better or worse person. And since your judgments, unlike externals, are up to you, then you are in charge of your happiness, understood in the sense of eudaemonia, the life worth living.
Many modern Stoics understand Epictetus in this way: We need to train ourselves to always shift our desires and aversions, our goals in life, from the external (which we do not control) to the internal (which we do). Let’s run through some of Epictetus’s examples from this perspective.
What do you see? A beautiful woman (or man). Well, then, assuming you and she are available, by all means see if you can begin a meaningful relationship with her. But keep in mind that while the decision to make that particular effort is under your control, a favorable outcome is not.
What do you see? A job you would like to get. Well, then, assuming you are qualified, by all means submit your resume and do your best at the interview. But keep in mind that while the decision to make that effort is under your control, a favorable outcome is not.
What do you see? Your child is in distress. Well, then, do whatever you can to help them get better, regardless of whether it is a physical or a mental condition that ails them. But keep in mind that while the decision to make the effort is under your control, a favorable outcome is not.
You get the point, and you can work your own way through the rest of the examples by deploying the same attitude. Just remember that this isn’t an exercise in callousness, but in realism. Keep in mind the metaphor of life as an inn of which we are temporary guests: We do not own anyone or anything in life. Everything is on loan from the universe, and the universe may recall the loan at any moment, and by any means. The Stoic attitude, then, is to be grateful for what you have been loaned, and not resentful when you have to give it back. Therein lies the path to virtue and tranquility.