This week, we begin by building on last week’s exercise. You’ll do this in two broad steps.
First, flip back to what you wrote for last week’s exercise and write down things in your “Incomplete control” column that describe something you were averse to. In Suki’s case, it’s the results from the cardiologist’s exam.
Next, look at your “Complete control” column for each of the items you listed above. What was in your complete control that preceded each aversion? Suki found that her thoughts about the test results bringing really bad news were in her complete control. Note down your answers.
Now set a timer for 3 minutes and brainstorm how the items that were under your control may have led to your aversion about those that weren’t. Be sure to explicitly tell the story of how things in your control could have caused the aversion.
Finally, set another 3-minute timer and try to come up with ways you could transfer aversion from external things not in your control to things you can completely control. Suki found that the steps above helped her realize that her thoughts about the situation caused the aversion. So, she decided to explicitly remind herself that her thoughts were causing the upset, and to examine her thoughts more closely. What ways would work for you, in transferring aversion from things that you can’t completely control to things that you can? Write them down.
By now, you should have a short list of things you can practice over the next week that are in your complete control. Each day, choose a specific time at which you’ll set a 3-minute timer and review this list, and choose one to practice for that day. Note down when you’ll do this exercise each day.
The item you choose may vary day to day, as some techniques you came up with may be specific to certain days of the week. If Suki will be seeing her cardiologist on Tuesday, she may choose to visualize her visit Monday night to prepare, but she won’t do that every day.
The Stoics have many exercises within the Discipline of Desire that can help work with transferring desire and aversion from external things to things within your control, which you’ll learn throughout Part I. The purpose of this exercise is to generate some of your own that may work for you! By transferring your aversions from things that you can’t completely control to things you can, you will ultimately “never incur anything to which you are adverse.”
On the Sunday after you’ve practiced transferring your aversions, set a timer for 5 to 10 minutes and write your impressions of this exercise. Was it useful to you? How? Is there any way you could tweak this exercise to make it easier to do or more useful in the future?
