It was twenty minutes to midnight according to the glow-in-the-dark hands on Daisy’s travel alarm. She’d gotten the clock as a graduation present from her parents, a peace offering of sorts after months of trying to talk her out of leaving home. They’d had her initials, DMD, stamped on the lid of the pigskin case. Inside, her mother had pinned an old Welsh proverb, Do good while time permits, but it was a different adage keeping Daisy awake.
Let bygones be bygones.
Thanks to Beverly’s earlier comment about Teddy Ryan, Daisy couldn’t sleep. She turned on her bedside light, an old oil lamp that had been wired for electricity decades earlier. The lamp and the travel alarm sat on the small drum table she’d used as a nightstand since moving into her father’s house at the age of five, the day of her parents’ wedding. Daisy surveyed her room. Same dresser she’d had as a child. Same Shirley Temple doll seated on top. Same porcelain ballerina made in occupied Japan. Same trinket dish. Same mirror. Same ghosts.
Let bygones be bygones.
Daisy had buried the memory of Teddy Ryan long ago, but on the cusp of twenty-five, she finally understood that the deeper you bury pain, the more room it has to grow.
And yet, she thought, nothing really happened. Well, almost nothing.
* * *
In June of ’46, Daisy and Beverly had celebrated the end of their tenth-grade year by taking the Laurel Line trolley to Rocky Glen. The amusement park had recently added the Million Dollar Coaster, and the girls couldn’t wait to see it for themselves. They got all dolled up in dirndls and peasant blouses, not for the roller coaster, but for the boys who were sure to show. Tuesday was Nickel Day, and the rides were half-price.
Daisy glanced around the trolley car to see if she knew anyone on board. No one looked familiar, but given the number of sun hats and picnic baskets, most of the passengers were bound for the Glen.
“It didn’t really cost a million dollars.” Across the aisle, an elderly man in a straw bowler folded his newspaper back in half. “Says it right here.” He tapped at a picture of the roller coaster and the description underneath.
“Well, that’s something,” Daisy offered so as not to appear rude. Her upper body lurched forward as the conductor brought the car to an unusually hard stop. The man with the newspaper seemed unfazed.
The conductor cupped his hands around his mouth and hollered, “All aboard!” New passengers streamed in.
“A hundred thousand’s nothing to sneeze at,” the old man said, pointing to the actual cost of the attraction, “but it’s not a million.”
“Maybe they thought ‘million’ sounded better.” When the man didn’t respond, Daisy spoke a little louder, “Fewer syllables.”
To Daisy’s left, Beverly threw an elbow and whispered, “Forget Gramps.” Her eyes landed on a trio of boys now holding onto the brass poles at the front of the car. “Teddy Ryan.” The name slipped through the corner of her mouth like steam from a kettle.
Teddy Ryan. A dreamboat for sure, Daisy thought. Tall. Handsome. Sandy-blond hair. And he could charm you with a look. Any girl with sense swooned in his presence, and she and Beverly both had sense.
“The biggest coaster in the world, or so they say. Almost 4,700 feet long.” The old guy whistled his admiration through a set of yellowed teeth. “Took two thousand gallons of paint to cover her.”
“You don’t say.” Daisy’s gaze pinballed between the man in the straw hat and her crush with his cleft chin. She willed Teddy to glance in her direction. Not that he knew she existed. He was two years ahead of her in school and had his pick of older girls.
“Says here its highest peak is ninety-six feet.”
“Is that so?”
“You won’t catch me on it. Not at my age.” The old man rolled up the newspaper and tucked it under his arm. “Now, in my youth,” he chuckled, “you couldn’t hold me down.”
Daisy swung around and faced him. “How high did you say?”
He counted on his fingers. “I’d say seven floors.”
“Rocky Glen!” the conductor announced.
Daisy looked out the window, but all she could see were the latticed trusses supporting the coaster’s tracks.
“Grab your purse,” Beverly said as the trolley rolled to a stop. Passengers started gathering their belongings and moving toward the front and rear exits.
Daisy turned back toward the old man. “Seven stories high?” She gave a nervous giggle. “Well, now I’m scared.”
The man straightened his straw bowler, retrieved his cane from between the seats, and pushed himself up. As he stepped into the aisle, he pulled a couple of nickels out of his pocket and pressed them into Daisy’s hand. “Then do it scared,” he said as he made his way toward the front of the car.
* * *
Do it scared, Daisy repeated to herself as she and Beverly followed the crowd past a row of benches, up over a footbridge, through the arcade, and into the park. Besides, she reflected, she’d been on the Pippin, Rocky Glen’s other roller coaster, just last year. Really, how much scarier could the new one be?
A lot scarier, she thought as she and Beverly came face-to-face with the wooden beast. From where they stood, the coaster seemed to rise out of the spring-fed lake like an enormous, seven-humped Loch Ness monster. Daisy watched as the roller coaster cars click-clacked up the first incline. Why was she so afraid? The front car reached the top of the hill, and teetered for a split second before plummeting down the other side at a dizzying speed, dragging the rest of the train along with it. Screams filled the air. That’s why.
“I’m pretty sure one of those nickels is mine,” Beverly said. Daisy opened her palm, and Beverly scooped up a coin. “So you’re never going on?”
“I never said never.” Daisy put her nickel in her skirt pocket and pressed the side of her hand against her forehead to shield the early afternoon sun. The coaster flew along the curved track and the screaming riders threw their arms in the air. “I said I’d see.”
“Never pegged you for a scaredy-cat.”
“Sticks and stones,” Daisy said.
“That’s all right. Teddy’ll take me for a ride.” Beverly laughed. “On the rolly coaster, I mean.” She scanned the park. “Now where did that boy get to?”
“Why you?” Daisy blurted out. “Why not me?”
“Because I called it.”
“You can’t call a boy like you call a seat at the movies.”
“Sure I can.” Beverly cupped her hands and hollered, “Teddy Ryan!”
“Doesn’t work that way either.”
“I’ll tell you what. Maybe one of Teddy’s buddies will take a shine to you. We can double date.”
“What makes you think he’s interested in you?”
“Teddy? He kept sneaking peeks at me on the trolley.”
“How do you know he wasn’t just staring in our general direction?”
“A girl knows. But no harm in sweetening the pot.” Beverly slid her puffed sleeves partway down her forearms, revealing a pair of creamy shoulders and some ample cleavage. “Now let’s see if we can’t find those boys.”
As Beverly zigzagged through the crowd, Daisy tried pushing her own sleeves over her shoulders, but her neckline had no give. Not to be outdone, she untucked her blouse and tied a knot in front, exposing an inch or so of stomach. “We’ll see who he picks,” she mumbled under her breath before catching up.
Beverly threaded her arm through Daisy’s. “Now where would you be if you were Teddy Ryan?”
Daisy studied the scene. “I’d say the Dodgems or, better yet, the concession stand. Boys are always hungry.”
“Well look at you, Miss Nancy Drew. You’ll make a fine detective someday.” Beverly squeezed Daisy’s hand. “Whaddaya say we go find him?”
* * *
Two hours later, Daisy took one last bite of her candied apple before tossing the core. “I cry uncle,” she said, rinsing her fingers in the drinking fountain. “We’ve been on the Dodgems, the Tumblebug, the Whip …”
“Don’t forget the new Duck Boat.” Beverly took her turn at the fountain.
“New for Rocky Glen, maybe. I don’t see the point. An amphibious vehicle from World War II is not an amusement park ride.”
“You’re just afraid of water.”
“Not afraid,” Daisy shot back. “Respectful.”
“Uh-huh.”
“So like I was saying.” Daisy wanted to get back to the original subject. “We’ve covered every inch of this park. That boy doesn’t want to be found.”
“I’m not ready to throw in the towel.” Beverly hopped up on a bench to get a better view of the crowd.
“If you can find him,” Daisy curtsied, “he’s all yours.”
“You mean that?” Beverly jumped down and spun her around to face the Mammoth Fun House.
A large sign on the L-shaped building promised 25 Different Amusements Under One Roof. “What am I supposed to be seeing?” Daisy asked.
“Over by the entrance.”
“Well I’ll be.” Daisy’s eyes landed on Teddy and his buddies at the front of the line.
“Come on,” Teddy motioned the girls over, and lifted the rope to let them in.
“No cutting!” someone yelled from behind, and the boys snickered.
“Next,” the ticket taker signaled the line forward.
“Ladies first,” Teddy said.
Between Teddy’s surprise invitation and the spinning barrel inside the door, Daisy fought to stay upright. Somehow the boys made it through the contraption with no effort. She grabbed hold of Beverly. They each stretched out an arm for balance and laughed like fools as the barrel revolved around them. Just when they got the hang of it, Teddy and one of his friends pulled the girls over the threshold to solid ground.
“How’d you get across so fast?” Beverly asked.
“Practice.” Teddy winked and disappeared in the dark.
Daisy and Beverly linked arms and giggled their way through a maze of crazy mirrors and dozens of other attractions before reaching an oversized turntable called the Spinning Plate. The young man at the controls instructed, “Sit down and hold on.” Thirty seconds later, someone in the shadows shouted, “Turn up the speed!” and the attendant obliged. Dizzy but determined, Daisy and Beverly managed to hang on for the next surprise, a jolt of electricity strong enough to startle them into letting go. Hearts pounding, they tumbled off, helped each other up, and burst into giggles that lasted all the way to the Alpine Slide, the last and steepest attraction in the whole fun house.
Beverly got in line first, and when her turn came, she let go of the handrail and started down the slide. Daisy counted to ten Mississippi before pushing off, but the mahogany surface proved so slick, she caught up to Beverly right before they landed. The two dissolved into laughter and only moved when an attendant yelled, “Out of the way!” to avoid a pileup of bodies.
Breathless, the girls pushed through the exit and paused to collect themselves.
“Give ’em the air!” someone ordered. A blast of wind rushed up from a floor grate, lifting their skirts past their thighs. Teddy and his friends sat on a bench in front of them, watching and whistling.
“You dirty dogs,” Beverly scolded as she and Daisy hopped off the grate and smoothed down their skirts.
The boys stood up. Teddy offered Beverly a disarming smile. “See?” he said, putting his arm around her shoulder. “I knew you were the kind of girl who could take a joke.”
Beverly’s face radiated joy. “Oh, you’ll pay,” she teased and let him pull her in closer.
Daisy’s throat ached with disappointment. Beverly always got the guy. She was braver. More daring. Do it scared. The old man’s words came back to her, and she repeated them in her head. “I’m ready to try the coaster now.”
“She speaks,” Teddy said, and he and Beverly had a good laugh.
“The big one,” Daisy said, scooting past them so they couldn’t see her cry.
* * *
By the time they arrived at the Million Dollar Coaster, Daisy’s tears had dried. No one would be the wiser to her sadness, including Teddy’s two friends who tagged after him like puppies. She joined the line first, hoping her daring behavior would mask the fear rising up from her stomach.
The others fell in behind her, and the line moved quickly. Too quickly for Daisy’s liking. As they stepped onto the loading station, she counted the heads in front of her. A baker’s dozen. That meant she and her group would make it onto the next train, the one now whipping around a hairpin turn of track at the other end of the coaster. Thunderous screams swelled, receded, and swelled again as the cars shot down the final slopes. Daisy searched for a means of escape. Shouldn’t there be a way to get out of line if you change your mind? She inadvertently caught Teddy’s eye and thought for a moment he was gazing at her.
A train of jubilant passengers returned to the station and they exited in the opposite direction of those waiting to ride. An attendant on Daisy’s side opened the gate and started ushering the line toward the now empty cars. Daisy willed her legs to carry her forward.
“How many in your group?” the attendant asked.
When Daisy didn’t answer, Teddy piped up, “Five.”
“Two to a seat.” The worker pointed up to a sign without looking. “No singles.”
“I need a partner!” a girl shouted from the edge of the platform, and one of Teddy’s buddies hightailed it over to her.
“Move it along,” the attendant barked. Now holding hands, Beverly pulled Teddy toward the car in front of them. She let go long enough to slide across the bench seat, and as soon she was in, Teddy stepped back.
“Moose here is going to do the honors,” Teddy said, pushing his husky friend toward Beverly. “I promised Daisy I’d take her.”
He’d made no such promise, but Daisy was too stunned to contradict him. “Let’s go,” Teddy said and directed her toward the last car. As soon as they sat down, he tugged the lap bar into place and squeezed her knee, sending a jolt of electricity through her body for the second time that day. “No turning back now,” he said, putting his hands on the bar as the train pulled away from the station.
Terror and delight competed for Daisy’s attention. As the coaster climbed the first incline, she felt the sensation of tipping back too far on a chair. She gripped the bar to keep from falling out and watched the lead car clear the crest. An instant later, she felt her body lift up off the seat as they flew down the first slope.
The train shot up again. Daisy opened her eyes, wondering when she’d even closed them. Worse, she suddenly realized she’d grabbed Teddy’s hand at some point during the ride. Another time, she might have collapsed under the weight of embarrassment, but instead, she tightened her grip as they reached the second peak.
Swoosh! This time her body bounced higher, but to Daisy’s surprise, she enjoyed the weightless feeling. In fact, as they rushed up the third hill, she started laughing in anticipation of the next drop.
Teddy yelled something to her. Daisy couldn’t hear him over the roaring coaster, but she nodded agreeably. As soon as they hit the top, Teddy threw his arms into the air. Daisy caught on quickly and, in a moment of exhilaration, let go of the bar. They waved and screamed as the car plummeted down the other side.
When the train began its fourth ascent, it was Teddy who took Daisy’s hand. The track leveled out over the lake for a turnaround so sharp Teddy fell into her, his forearm skimming her breast. Instead of sliding back over, he stayed pressed against her, and the coaster took another precipitous dip before three quick hills in succession brought them back to the station.
“So, what do you think?” Teddy asked when the train pulled up to the platform.
“Glorious!” Daisy answered.
While they waited for the attendant to reach their car, Teddy leaned toward Daisy to give her a smooch.
“Okay, Romeo.” The worker disengaged the lap bar. “Keep it moving.” As they disembarked, someone on the other side instructed, “No singles,” to the passengers clamoring to get on the ride.
Daisy ran down the steps, excited to tell Beverly how she’d conquered her fear.
Beverly.
My best friend.
Who’d looked so happy on Teddy’s arm. The image stopped Daisy cold.
“Something wrong?” Teddy placed his hand on Daisy’s back and guided her toward a shade tree.
“Beverly,” Daisy said, scanning the crowd. “I think we lost her.”
“Would that be so tragic?”
Teddy was teasing. Daisy was sure of it, yet that truth didn’t temper her guilt. “Of course it would.” Her words sounded sharp. What was she doing? This was Teddy. Teddy Ryan. Standing with her. Rubbing circles into the small of her back. She tried again, softer this time: “I’m worried.”
“Maybe she and Moose hit it off.”
At the moment Teddy mentioned Moose’s name, he wandered over, shoving a tuft of blue cotton candy into his mouth.
“Where’s Beverly?” Daisy asked.
“Went home.” Moose’s blue lips made him appear sickly.
“What?”
Moose wiped his mouth with his hand. “Said you welshed on a deal.”
“What deal?” Daisy tried to think while Teddy’s fingers lightly grazed the inch of bare skin at her waist where she’d tied up her blouse. She struggled to still a purr working its way up her spine. She shook her head in an attempt to focus. A deal?
The words she’d spoken in front of the fun house came rushing back: If you can find him, he’s all yours. That couldn’t be it. Surely Beverly knew she was kidding. They both liked Teddy. Daisy had made that clear. You can’t call a boy like you call a seat at the movies.
“Some friend,” Teddy said. “Now Moose here knows what’s what, don’t you, pal? You’d never leave me high and dry,” he winked at his friend, “unless I wanted you to.”
Moose mumbled something about a swim, and trotted off toward the lake. Daisy only half heard because she was still fretting about Beverly. Yes, she wanted to feel bad about her friend, maybe even rush after her, she really did, but she also wanted this time with Teddy to last forever.
“How about an ice cream over at the Swiss Cottage?” he asked. “My treat.”
“I’d love one,” Daisy said, taking his arm.
* * *
Just short of the Kiddie Train, Teddy led Daisy off the pathway toward the woods. “I know a shortcut,” he said and kissed the top of her head. Daisy hesitated for an instant, though Teddy seemed not to notice. “I’m trying to decide,” he pulled her along by the hand, “if you’re a rum raisin or butter pecan kind of girl.”
“Not even close.” She gave him a playful shove. “Strawberry’s my favorite.”
“Strawberry, huh?” He seemed to consider the matter. “Well, that settles it.”
“Settles what?”
“I’m taking you to West Pittston for our first real date. Grablick’s has the best strawberry ice cream around.”
Our first date? Are we dating? Daisy’s heart pounded. If it weren’t for the cacophony of music and rides a few yards away, Teddy would hear it beating.
“We’re almost there.”
Deeper into the woods, the canopy of trees started crowding the early evening light, but Daisy could still make out Teddy’s easy smile.
Close enough to hear music from the bandstand, but far enough from prying eyes, he stopped and danced Daisy up against a towering ash tree. Its pale-green leaves rustled against the intrusion. Before she had a chance to speak, Teddy laid a gentle finger on her parted lips. “Shhh. You’re safe with me.” He outlined her mouth with the tip of his finger. “Mmm.”
“I’m not sure I …” Daisy’s breath ran out as he nibbled on her ear.
“I’m falling for you, baby. Hard.” He showered her neck with the most delicate kisses, and she shivered.
Daisy pulled back, though in her state, she couldn’t remember why.
“No funny business.” Teddy held up three fingers. “Scout’s honor.” He took those same fingers, slipped them under the bottom of her blouse, and caressed the flesh on her lower back. “You’re my girl,” he said, pressing inside the waistband of her skirt. “Nobody in the world but you and me.”
Daisy’s lips ached to be kissed. Her whole body ached, and as if reading her thoughts, Teddy put his free hand on the back of her head and pulled her mouth so close to his that she matched his breathing. “I could fall in love with a girl like you,” he whispered. She let out the purr she’d stifled earlier. And he kissed her. Gently at first and then with abandon.
Daisy felt weightless in a way that was a million times better than any coaster. How were her legs holding her up? Did she even have legs? His lips traveled down the side of her neck to her throat. Moony-eyed, Daisy threw back her head and let his tongue find the hint of cleavage at the top of her blouse. Teddy looked up. “This your first time?” Without waiting for an answer, he returned to that most delicious spot.
Daisy didn’t know how to respond. Sure, she’d kissed her share of boys during games of spin the bottle, but Teddy’s kisses were something else. They made her forget everything and everyone she’d ever known. “Yes,” she whispered, reacting more to his touch than his question.
He smiled up at her with his eyebrow cocked. “Well aren’t you full of surprises.” His lips found his way back to hers. “You’re doing fine, baby. Real fine.”
There are rules, she thought. What are the rules? Hadn’t Beverly told her about them a thousand times? Something about bases and over the blouse.
Teddy parted her knees with one of his, and tangled his legs up with hers.
The rules. But it was no use. She didn’t want to think about rules. Or to think at all. She only wanted to feel.
Teddy’s kisses were so dizzying and deep she hadn’t realized he’d untied the knot in her top till his fingers started working their way up her stomach to her brassiere. Was it over the blouse or over the bra? Think.
His free hand inched up the inside of her thigh, giving her the most exquisite sensation.
No! She tried to say the word. Not there! But it felt so good. Why did it feel so good? She couldn’t think.
When he reached her cotton undies, his breath quickened.
No! No! No! Could he hear her? Had she actually spoken the words aloud?
He slid his hand inside her panties and his thumb grazed the split between her legs.
She tried to wriggle away from him, but he had her pinned to the tree.
“What’s wrong?” His question had razored edges. “Don’t be a tease.”
“No!” She’d finally said the word out loud. “No more.” She tried to push him off, but he pushed back.
“That’s not how the game is played, baby.” He yanked one side of her panties down over her hip. “You should know that,” he said, cupping a handful of her bared behind. “You’re your mother’s daughter. Everybody says so.”
Angry tears welled up in her eyes. “Don’t you dare say that. Don’t you dare talk about my mother!”
“Knock it off,” he said, watching the tears roll down her cheeks. “You’re taking all the fun out of this.”
“No!” She pushed against him as hard as she could. “Get off me.”
Teddy scoffed and gave her behind a painful pinch before inching away. “I never figured you for a cold fish.”
Still flattened against the tree, Daisy tugged up her underpants without lifting her skirt.
“Go on.” He shoved her. “Get out of here.”
Daisy took a tentative step forward, and Teddy grabbed her arm. “Joke’s on you.” He smirked. “I’m going to say it happened anyway,” he said and let her go.
* **
Daisy ran out of the woods, through the park, slowing only when she reached the trolley stop. When she looked down the track for the Laurel Line, she spotted Beverly sitting on a bench. “I’m so sorry,” Daisy said as she sat down and broke into heaving sobs.
“What happened?” Beverly asked, clearly concerned over Daisy’s disheveled appearance.
“I thought you left.” Daisy gulped for air.
Beverly pulled two handkerchiefs out of her pocket. She handed one to Daisy, who gave her nose a good blow, and spit on the other one to wipe the dirt off Daisy’s cheek. “You had to come back here eventually,” Beverly said, “so I waited.”
“This whole time?”
Beverly shrugged. “I’d never leave you behind, no matter how sore I was.”
“I’m really sorry,” Daisy said, “really and truly.”
“Me too.”
Beyond them, a headlight came around the bend. Daisy stood to adjust her blouse and smooth her hair. “Promise me we’ll never let a boy get between us again.”
Beverly held out her hand. “Pinky swear,” she said, hooking her finger on Daisy’s.
The red Laurel Line trolley pulled into the station, and the conductor called out, “All aboard!” Beverly took Daisy’s hand and led her to the car.
* * *
For the rest of the summer, Daisy laid low, but on her first day back to school, Moose and a couple of his buddies whistled as she walked past. Teddy had made good on his promise.
* * *
Daisy glanced at the travel alarm that had become a permanent fixture on her nightstand since her return to Scranton. Two minutes after twelve. Her birthday. The start of her twenty-fifth year. A turning point, if she’d allow it. Daisy switched off the lamp and focused her eyes on the clock’s glowing hands till she fell asleep.