7

Hi, I’ll bet you’re Emma.” Jess smiled at the little girl sitting on the examination table before turning to extend a hand to the woman sitting on a chair next to her. “Good morning. I’m Dr. MacLeod. And why are we seeing Emma this morning?”

“Where’s Dr. Benavides?” The handshake Mrs. Anderson offered was listless and brief, and she didn’t return Jess’s smile.

“He’s on vacation and I’m seeing his patients while he’s gone.” Jess glanced down at Emma’s file. “But if it’s important that you see him, I imagine you can reschedule your appointment. He’ll be back next week.”

Mrs. Anderson huffed a little and resettled her purse on her lap. “No. We’re already here, and I had to rearrange my schedule and drive in from Last Chance. But I wish they had told me Dr. Benavides wasn’t going to be here when I made the appointment. It was only for her checkup. I could easily have waited.”

“You live in Last Chance?” Jess held her stethoscope between her hands to warm it. “I just moved there myself. In fact, I’ll be keeping office hours there a few days a week.”

“Oh, I know who you are.” Mrs. Anderson had a smile of sorts pasted on her face, but she still did not sound very happy. “I’m sure some people will really appreciate the convenience, but when it comes to Emma’s health, convenience is the last thing I worry about. I’m sure you understand.”

“Okay, let’s see how far you can stick out your tongue.” Jess decided to let Mrs. Anderson’s comments pass and concentrate on her patient. “Come on. Pretend I’m that rotten boy who sits behind you in school.”

Emma actually smiled for the first time since Jess had walked in the room, but when her mother cleared her throat, the smile faded and her tongue retreated.

“Oh, my goodness.” Mrs. Anderson’s laugh was light and brittle. “You don’t need to pretend that to stick out your tongue, Emma. Just say ‘ahh’ for Dr. MacLeod, like you do for Dr. Benavides.”

“Ahh.” Emma promptly obeyed.

A vague uneasiness came over Jess as she completed her examination, and she found herself checking for telltale marks or bumps. Emma had yet to say one word, despite the questions and comments Jess directed to her personally. Mrs. Anderson, however, did not stop talking.

“You know, I’m afraid I might have given you the wrong impression earlier. It’s not that I think Dr. Benavides is more competent than you are. That’s not why I’m willing to drive to San Ramon when you’ll be right there in town. That’s not it at all. It’s just that Dr. Benavides has been our family doctor for years. He’s looked after Emma since she was a baby.” She laughed lightly. “I hope you understand it’s nothing personal.”

Right. Jess continued her examination without answering. Nothing personal.

“Well, Emma, how much time do you spend outside?” Jess stood back and smiled at the little girl huddled on the examination table. Emma didn’t even open her mouth.

“Oh, if only she had that kind of time.” There was that laugh again. “With her piano practice, and her schoolwork, and her chores, there just aren’t enough daylight hours.”

“Do you like recess?” Jess was determined to get Emma to say something.

Emma shrugged, and her mother answered the question. “They have to force her outside. She’d like nothing more than to be left alone indoors with a book.”

“What about friends, Emma? Do you like to play with your friends?”

This time there was no laughter from the chair behind Jess. “My goodness. I thought we were just coming in for a simple checkup. Dr. Benavides never asks these kinds of questions. Is there some reason why you are concerned, Dr. MacLeod? Or are we finished here?”

With a final wink at Emma, Jess turned back to her mother. “We’re done. Except that the flu vaccination came in this week. We could give Emma her flu shot now, or you could wait till Dr. Benavides gets back, if you’d rather.”

Mrs. Anderson hesitated a long moment before she sighed. “Oh well, we’re already here. We might as well get it taken care of now.”

Jess had been watching Emma. She had yet to meet an eight-year-old who didn’t need at least a little calming at the mention of a shot, but except for a slight flicker of her eyes, Emma was as unmoved as if she had not even heard. There had been no marks or any sign whatsoever of physical abuse on Emma’s body, but something was not right, and when Dr. Benavides got back, Jess intended to see if he had any idea what that might be.

“Are you going to the game Friday?”

“Hmm?” Jess looked up from the mug of thick, overbrewed coffee she was staring into. The morning had been packed, but she still couldn’t get Emma Anderson off her mind. “What game?”

“The season opener between Last Chance and San Ramon. What else?” The young nurse shut the door of the cabinet she had been restocking and cocked her head as she turned to stare at Jess. “It’s only the biggest rivalry in this part of the state. It was San Ramon that broke Last Chance’s big winning streak, you know.”

From Theresa’s satisfied smile, Jess had little doubt on which side of the rivalry Theresa stood. She shook her head. “No, I don’t think so. Friday night I’m going to be home in my sweats with my book and a big mug of herbal tea. It’s been a long week, and I’m looking forward to it.”

“Seriously? You’d miss the game?”

“Seriously. I am going to miss the game. But you go on and cheer for the both of us.” Jess took a sip of her coffee and shuddered as she dumped it in the sink. “Who makes this stuff, and does anyone actually drink it?”

Theresa seemed to be too stunned by Jess’s complete disregard of Friday’s game to even register the coffee comment.

“But you know that Andy Ryan has come back to coach Last Chance, right?”

“So I’ve heard.” Jess opened the cupboard over the sink and poked through the contents. “Isn’t there anything but coffee here? No tea?”

“And you live in Last Chance and everything?”

“Yep.” Jess pulled out a box of instant cocoa packets, made a face, and put it back.

Theresa shrugged. “Well, I guess that’s your choice, but you’ll be the only one in town who won’t be at the game. Have fun with your book.”

The smile she tossed Jess’s way as she left the room was one Jess knew well. It was the easy, breezy, not-quite-dismissive smile the cheerleader tossed the book-laden geek as they passed in the hall. It had never bothered her in high school. She had a wide circle of friends and a ton of activities of her own, and frankly, she had never felt the slightest desire to be a cheerleader. But she was pretty much on her own here.

Maybe she should reconsider. After all, what would it take? Just two or three hours of her life, that’s all. Two or three hours sitting on a cold bleacher among a lot of people she didn’t know who were screaming about something she didn’t understand while watching a bunch of bulked-up boys knock each other down.

Nope, not happening. She rinsed out her mug and set it on the drain board. Never in her life had the need for peer acceptance driven her to conform, and she couldn’t muster up even a twinge now. Friday night with her book was looking better and better.

By Friday, not only Theresa but nearly everyone Jess came in contact with was talking about the game. As she left San Ramon and headed down the Last Chance Highway toward home, the pickups with “Skin the Pumas” daubed on the back window with white shoe polish gave way to those adorned with “Beat San Ramon” signs. Even the front window of the Dip ’n’ Dine had a snarling puma and the words “Go Last Chance High” stenciled across the glass just under the glowing neon Open sign.

“Glad I made it.” Jess thought she caught a slight frown on Juanita’s face when she opened the door. “I was afraid you might be closing early.”

“Well, we were hoping we might, but come on in.” No doubt about it, Juanita was perturbed, even though the diner wasn’t scheduled to close for nearly an hour. “I suppose you want that salad?”

“I think I’ll try something different today.” Jess reached for the menu Juanita wasn’t quite holding out to her. Being an outsider had its limits. “What’s the special?”

“Right there as you came in.” Juanita tilted her head toward the whiteboard mounted by the door. “Friday is cheese enchiladas.”

“Okay. I’ll give those a try. I guess there’s no point in asking you if they’re good.” If Jess thought smiling and trying to engage Juanita in conversation was going to lighten things up, she thought wrong. For once, Juanita was in no mood to chat.

“Red or green?”

“Red or green what?” Jess glanced at her menu again, looking for a clue.

Juanita shifted her weight to her other foot and may have rolled her eyes. “Chile. You want red or green chile on your enchiladas?”

“Oh, that’s right. Um, I don’t know. Is there any difference, other than the color, of course?”

This time there was no mistaking Juanita’s eye-roll, and Jess remembered just a beat too late that Juanita and her husband had a huge chile farm just outside of town.

“Our red can be hotter. But the green’s pretty hot too. It’s up to you.” She tapped her pad with her pencil.

“Green, I guess.”

“I’ll get this right in.” Juanita took the menu and ripped the top sheet off her order pad. “Oh, you want an egg on it?”

“An egg?”

Juanita’s voice had the studied patience of a preschool teacher. “Yes, an egg. Some people like an egg on their enchiladas. In fact, I’d recommend it for you. It kind of soothes the bite a little. So, an egg over easy?”

“You know what? Just bring me the salad.” Suddenly, Jess was done talking about the special of the day. Truth be told, she was pretty done with talking to Juanita at all. In fact, she had no idea how the Dip ’n’ Dine managed to stay open with a waitress who went around picking fights with the customers over their orders.

Juanita didn’t say anything. She just heaved a sigh, wadded up the order she had torn off her pad, and wrote another.

“Juanita, I’ll take this table.” Jess hadn’t seen Lainie when she came in, but there she was, smiling and touching Juanita’s shoulder. “There probably won’t be anyone else coming in. Why don’t you go on home? I’m sure Russ wants to get to the game early.”

Jess could have hugged her.

“Well, you need to get out of here as much as I do.” Juanita still sounded miffed, but Jess noticed that she did hand off the menu. “You don’t want to miss the Parade of Pumas.”

“I won’t miss anything. Ray’s coming by for me in an hour. We’ll have plenty of time to get there.”

“Okay, if you’re sure. I’ll drop this order off on my way to get my stuff.” Juanita’s mood had turned on a dime, and she smiled cheerfully at Jess. “You really ought to try those enchiladas sometime. And don’t forget the egg. The egg just makes it.”

Jess watched her stop by the window to the kitchen before disappearing in the back. “What was that all about?” She kept her voice to a bewildered whisper. “Is it really poor form to want dinner on the night there’s a game?”

Lainie laughed. “No, not at all. The season opener is a pretty big deal, which is why Juanita was in such a big hurry. Her husband is president of the Boosters, and they all sit in a special section on the fifty-yard line, and of course, he’s in the Parade of Pumas as well. But most Fridays are pretty sane, especially when the team is away. Except for homecoming—then it’s really crazy.”

“Bye now.” Juanita came back with her sweater on and her purse slung over her shoulder. She waved as she headed out the door. “Now don’t get so busy talking that you get behind. Ray has to make that parade, and you need to cheer him on.”

“We’ll be there.” Lainie looked toward the kitchen as the ding of a bell signaled Jess’s salad was ready. “Be right back.”

When she returned, she set the salad in front of Jess along with a small bowl of some kind of stew and a thick white tortilla wrapped in a napkin.

“What’s this?”

“This is from Carlos. Juanita’s voice has a way of carrying, and he heard your conversation earlier. He said to tell you he’d be happy to make you a salad every time you come in here, but he wants you to just try his green chile stew. It’s famous.”

Picking up her spoon, Jess regarded the stew with a little frown. “Is it hot?”

“You mean chile hot? Yeah, it’s got a little heat to it. That’s what the tortilla’s for. Spread butter on it, and then if your stew is hot, take a bite of tortilla. It’s a perfect combination.”

Jess did as she was told, and her eyes closed as the bite of tender pork and green chile warmed her mouth. “Oh, my. I may never order salad again. That is amazing.”

“It’s a favorite around here. Enjoy.” Lainie smiled. “Now, is there anything else I can do for you?”

“Just one thing. What is a Parade of Pumas? It sounds like something the animal rights people would be all over.”

Lainie laughed. “No, it’s nothing quite so dramatic. It’s just a Last Chance tradition that right before the team takes the field at the season opener, every former football player who can still fit in his letterman’s jacket—and a good many who shouldn’t even try—takes a walk around the track. Everybody cheers and they all wave and feel like heroes again. They go in order of the year they played, with the old guys out in front and last year’s graduates bringing up the rear. It’s sort of a rite of passage for them.”

“Ray takes part too? It just doesn’t sound like him.”

“Oh, yeah. Once a Puma, always a Puma. In fact, a bunch of guys he played with are coming back especially for this game, since they were all on Andy’s team.”

“Wow.” Jess pushed her salad aside so she could better concentrate on her green chile stew. “And I thought they were serious about football at Cal.”

Lainie threw up a hand. “Sister, you have no idea. Now, unless I can get you anything else, I’d probably better get to work. Ray will be here before I know it.”

“Go.” Jess waved her away. “I’d hate to have you late to the game on my account.”

As Lainie grabbed a tray and went from table to table picking up salt and pepper shakers, Jess turned her attention back to her meal. She had come to the Dip ’n’ Dine nearly every day since arriving in Last Chance, and the spicy aroma of green chile stew had greeted her every time she opened the door. What in the world had she been thinking to simply order salad without ever investigating that tantalizing fragrance? She tore off a piece of thick, warm, buttered tortilla and used it to wipe the last drops from her empty bowl. Next time, it would be the enchiladas—with an egg.

Ray was just getting out of his truck when Jess pushed through the door and out into the parking lot. His black letterman’s jacket with the gold leather sleeves still fit him well.

“Look at you!” Jess raised her eyebrows in appreciation. “That parade must be something to see. I’m beginning to be sorry I’m not going tonight.”

“There’s still plenty of time. You can change your mind, you know.” Ray grinned as he headed for the front door.

“I’m not that sorry.” With a wave, Jess slid behind the wheel of her car. “Have fun tonight.”

A long line of pickups and a few cars, all decorated in the green and white of San Ramon High and loudly blaring their horns, entered Last Chance from the north and began their noisy procession down Main Street to the high school just south of town. Jess waited until the last car was a block or two down the road before pulling out onto the road behind them. So far, Last Chance had considered her merely uninformed and maybe a little eccentric to willfully miss the season opener, but if she were seen joining the opposition, who knows what damage that might do?

The streets were empty and, except for the sound of honking growing fainter in the distance, silent. To the west, the vivid crimson, coral, and gold of a desert sunset reached high in the darkening turquoise of the sky. Jess sighed and let her head drop against the headrest. Filling in for Dr. Benavides had been exhilarating, and she had loved every moment, but the week had been exhausting. Through it all, the peaceful quiet of a Friday night at home had hung before her like a carrot on a stick, but now that it actually lay before her, Jess felt a little out of sorts. Even in medical school, when her colleagues took advantage of the rare free moment to catch up on their sleep, Jess had wanted company. She missed her friends. People energized her, and an evening sitting cross-legged on the sagging sofa of a student apartment sharing everything from cat videos to solutions to the world’s problems to the deepest secrets of the heart was her idea of perfection. Loneliness, always hovering on the edges of her consciousness, moved in and threatened to crush her.

Enough of that. Jess rolled down her window and let the warm wind that always picked up at sundown fill her car with the fragrance of sun-warmed mesquite. You knew it was going to take a while to find your niche when you decided to move to a small town, so just get over it and quit feeling sorry for yourself. Call Mom if you have to talk to someone tonight.

Jess squared her shoulders as she turned off Main Street and headed for home. Giving herself stern lectures was something she did well, and furthermore, she usually listened. Becoming a part of Last Chance might not be easy, but she would do everything it took.

Just south of town, Jess could see the towering banks of lights illuminating the darkening sky. Well, almost everything.

“Mom?” Jess’s book kept her attention for almost an hour before the silence grew so heavy she could feel it pressing around her and she reached for her phone.

“Jess! How are you, honey? Everything okay?”

“Oh, I’m fine.” At the sound of her mother’s voice, Jess realized she didn’t feel fine at all. Tears stung her eyes. “I just miss you. That’s all.”

“We miss you too, but you’ve wanted a small town practice since you were a little girl, so we can’t feel too bad. You’re doing what you’ve always wanted to do.”

Jess drew a shaky breath. “Am I?”

“Oh, honey, you sound so sad. What’s wrong?”

“I don’t know. It’s just not what I thought it would be. There’s this waitress at the diner who yells at me every time I go in there, and everyone I meet tells me they already have a doctor before I even say anything, and they all think I’m strange because I don’t like football.”

“My goodness, that is rough.” Her mom’s voice comforted Jess like a warm hug, but even so, she could hear the laughter just below the surface. “I don’t believe I’d go back to a restaurant where the waitress yelled at me every time. Maybe you should find another restaurant and look for some friends who have interests other than football.”

“Mom, there aren’t any!” Jess knew she sounded like a fourteen-year-old, but sometimes, especially when you were talking to your mom, you just needed to be able to sound like a fourteen-year-old. “Seriously. There is one diner in the whole town, and the waitress yells. And everyone, and I mean everyone, is crazy about high school football. They think I’m the weird one.”

“I am sorry you’re having a hard time of it, honey, but give it time. It always takes a while to adjust to a new place.”

“This is all your fault, you know.” Jess wasn’t ready to listen to common sense. Not yet.

“My fault? How?”

“It’s all those stories you told me about your grandpa being the only doctor in that little town. About how everyone in town knew him and called him Doc. About how you’d go with him and wait in the car when he made house calls after dinner, and how you’d stop and get ice cream on the way home.”

“My goodness, honey, that was a long, long time ago. Things have changed. Surely you noticed that’s not the way your dad and I manage our practices.”

“Well, we lived in the city. That’s why I wanted to live in a small town.”

Jess could hear her mother’s sigh come over the phone.

“Well, darling, I’m sorry things aren’t like you thought they would be, but as I see it, you have a couple choices. You can admit you made a mistake and cut your losses before you waste any more time. I ran into Moira Conner at the hospital the other day, and she was asking about you. If you want to come home, she’d be the one to talk to.”

“But I don’t want to come home.”

“Well then, it seems like the other thing you can do is decide you’re going to succeed in Last Chance. If that means making friends with the waitress, do it. And if you need to go to football games to fit in, do that too. Buy a book and read up if you need to.”

Jess didn’t say anything. She wanted Poor Baby Mom, not Get a Grip Mom.

“Oh, Jessica.” Her mother’s voice softened again. “I have so much faith in you. You are an amazing woman and an amazing doctor. You can do anything you want, anywhere you want. That’s just who you are. But you are the one who has to decide to do it. I can’t do it for you. No one can. Okay?”

“Okay.” Jess didn’t feel great, but she did feel better.

“Listen, honey, I’m going to have to run. We have tickets for the symphony tonight and your dad’s standing at the front door looking at me.”

“Oh, sorry to keep you, Mom. Give Dad my love.”

“I will. And all our love to you too, sweetie.”

Jess punched End on her phone and leaned back against the sofa. Talking to her mom made her realize that she really did want to make a go of it here in Last Chance, and if that meant making friends with Juanita, she’d just have to figure out how. But reading up on football and all that rah-rah stuff? That just might be more than she could bring herself to do.