[There is a] deep ambivalence with which Western culture views marriage. . . . [Objections include:] marriage was originally about property and is now in flux, marriage crushes individual identity and has been oppressive for women, marriage stifles passion and is ill-fitted to psychological reality, marriage is “just a piece of paper” that only serves to complicate love, and so on. But beneath these philosophical objections lies a snarl of conflicted personal emotions, born out of many negative experiences with marriage and family life. (Hardcover, p. 11; paperback, p. 4)
CONFLICTED OVER MARRIAGE. Our culture has a love-hate relationship with marriage. Mervyn Cadwallader argued that marriage was “a wretched institution.” He wrote: “[M]arriage . . . spells the end of voluntary affection, of love freely given and joyously received. Beautiful romances are transmuted into dull marriages, and eventually the relationship becomes constricting, corrosive, grinding, and destructive. . . . The very idea of an irrevocable contract obliging the parties concerned to a lifetime of romantic effort is utterly absurd.”4 Yet Cadwallader admits he keeps trying for a good marriage (he was married three times) and that most people will still try it, too. But if the very idea of marriage is absurd, why do we keep trying? There may never have been a society as deeply conflicted about marriage as is ours.
Reflection: How fair are each of the objections to marriage listed in the quotes above? Why do you think many people believe this about marriage? Why, on the other hand, do you think many people still desire marriage?
Thought for prayer: Pray that the attitude of your hearts toward your marriage would not be overly shaped by its difficulties, but more by the promises and instructions of the Bible.