The result of completion is personal ease. Adam and Eve were naked and unashamed with each other before the Fall. There was no anxiety, no hiding. There was a sense of a primordial, ancient unity and accord that Adam and Eve had then that we’ve not experienced since, because sin entered and disrupted the unity that they had. When you see marriage as completion, submission finds its place. (Hardcover, p. 190; paperback, pp. 214–15)
ROLES AS BALLET. What I enjoy about ballet, Tim appreciates in basketball—the sheer physical mastery and grace, the split-second timing, the hours of practice behind the effortless maneuvers. For your marriage to reclaim the dance, it will take the same level of commitment and effort, but the beauty, the deference to one another’s needs, the solid sense of being in touch with a reality beyond oneself is worth the investment. Headship and submission in a marriage should be as grace-full as that of two dancers or two players on a team—always submitting one’s desire to be center stage to the overall pattern, the goal, the achievement of family life, ministry to the world, and (not to be too overblown about it) the continuation of civilization.
Reflection: Do the roles of servant-leader and servant-helper play out gracefully in your marriage, as a submission of both spouses to their calling from God?
Thought for prayer: One reason for both spouses submitting to gender roles is out of obedience to God’s Word. But another reason is that it is a natural, glad, and humble response to God’s grace. Ask God to stir up and make both motives strong in you.