You can change no one’s behavior but your own. If a man or a woman wishes to bring him- or herself more fully into the biblically defined gender roles, it does not actually require assent from the other person. Since both the headship role of a husband and the submission role as a wife are servant roles, one can always begin to serve without waiting for permission. Often this will be an invisible change of attitude before it is ever visible in action. (Hardcover, p. 191; paperback, p. 216)
THERE’S ALWAYS HOPE. The truth that you cannot change anyone’s behavior but your own should be subject to one huge caveat: God can change the hearts of anyone. When (not if) your marriage is at a difficult place, concentrate on prayer for your own heart to have the necessary courage, self-knowledge, forgiveness, love, and wisdom to proceed. Problems in a marriage, even severe ones, are not reasons to give up hope (though we have discussed biblical grounds for divorce elsewhere). God can resurrect relationships like he can resurrect people. So stick with your covenant vow, and do whatever it takes to solve the problems in your marriage.
Reflection: Have you lost hope in your marriage? Even if you don’t fear its demise, have you settled for too little love and joy in your marriage?
Thought for prayer: Meditate on Romans 15:13 and then ask God to give you hope for growth in your marriage.