November 30

Unlike traditional societies, Christianity sees singleness as good because the kingdom of God provides the most lasting possible legacy and heirs. Unlike sex-and-romance-saturated Western society, Christians see singleness as good because our union with Christ can fulfill our deepest longings. And yet, unlike our commitment-averse, postmodern society, Christianity does not fear or avoid marriage either. Adults in Western society are deeply shaped by individualism, a fear and even hatred of limiting options for the sake of others. (Hardcover, p. 201; paperback, p. 230)

BEING FRIENDS. I have known women and men who can’t commit to marrying someone they really love because of FOMO (fear of missing out). They hesitate just in case a better prospect comes along. Married people should be good friends to singles by neither pushing them toward marriage nor allowing them to acquiesce in such a consumerist attitude. Singles in turn have much to offer married friends. They may direct married people, too often absorbed in family maintenance, to what is happening in the wider world. From our differing vantage points we all come to know an aspect of the goodness of God that no one else has ever seen, and in heaven we will never tire of telling one another of his goodness to us.

Reflection: Think of how your friends who are married and friends who are single enrich your life in different ways. What are those ways? Do you need to add more of one kind of friend to your relationships?

Thought for prayer: Ask God to increase in you the candor, wisdom, willingness to be vulnerable, and willingness to dedicate time—all the things that it takes to be a good friend.