Sin, which is first and foremost a disorder of the heart . . . has a big impact on sex. Our passions and desires for sex now are very distorted. Sex is for whole-life self-giving. However, the sinful heart wants to use sex for selfish reasons, not self-giving, and therefore the Bible puts many rules around it to direct us to use it in the right way. The Christian sex ethic can be summarized like this: sex is for use within marriage between a man and woman. (Hardcover, pp. 220–21; paperback, p. 253)
GIFT GIVING. God so loved the world that he gave himself to us in Jesus Christ (John 3:16). Christmas is all about gift-giving and that is appropriate. The incarnation, in which God became human and lost his glory and invulnerability, is the great act of self-giving. Where Christianity differs from our society regarding marriage is at this very point. Many want love, sex, and intimacy but they don’t want to give away their independence through marriage. But Jesus lost independence when he gave himself to us, and we lose ours when we give ourselves to him—yet in that mutual self-giving comes glory and freedom. Marital union should be an image of our union with Christ (Ephesians 5:25ff.) and it brings freedom-through-giving in the same way.
Reflection: Some say that Christianity has so many rules about sex because it has such a negative view of it. Make an argument that the rules reflect a higher view, not a lower view of sex.
Thought for prayer: On this Christmas Day, thank God for his gift of marriage and of your marriage, even with all of its ups and downs and challenges.