AMBER PACED THE floor of the funivia station, looking again at her watch. Forty-eight minutes had passed since she had left Mauro, alone, on a volcano in zero visibility. She had told him that she was sending Mountain Rescue back for him, and two volunteers from CNSAS, the Sicilian rescue organisation, had headed out to find him. They’d only been half an hour away, he had said. Well, she was going to hold him to that. She was giving him ten more minutes, and then she was going back for him.
Ayisha and Piotr were down at Rifugio Sapienza already, having turned back when they found themselves in poor visibility. Enzo was being cared for by medics, and someone had pushed a cup of hot coffee into her hands but she had batted everyone away, her eyes fixed on the windows, as she waited for Mauro to appear. What would she do if he didn’t? How would she feel if he had kissed her goodbye on the mountain, and then he’d had an accident himself? What if he was out there hurt?
He had kissed her.
Despite everything that they had said, despite the fact that their attempts to forget their last kiss had been laughable, he’d gone and done it again.
She looked out of the window once more, hoping for a glimpse of him. Still nothing. She glanced at her watch again. Forty-nine minutes.
Looking over at the mountain rescue team, Amber wondered what they would do if Mauro and the other members of their team didn’t turn up. Would they really leave him out there until morning? Well, they might, but she planned on sticking to her word. He could have five more minutes’ grace and then she’d be going out there after him.
She started sorting through her pack, working out what extra supplies she would need, when the door to the station flew open, and Mauro wheeled in, the two CNSAS volunteers behind him.
He was bent over the crank of his cycle, his chest heaving, and his face red and shiny from exertion. She dropped her pack and crossed the room, half running.
‘Oh, my God, I was just about to come and find you.’
‘I’m not—’ he was panting, trying to catch his breath ‘—that late. Had to stop—and check the map.’
She dropped into his lap and framed his face with her hands. ‘You had one more minute, I swear.’ She leaned in and touched her forehead against his, hesitating for just a second before closing her eyes and brushing her lips against his. Tingles of pleasure shot from where their mouths met down to where his hands had found the small of her back and were holding on tight.
‘I’m so glad you’re safe,’ she breathed, pulling away and then pressing her cheek against his. ‘I was worried.’
‘So I see.’ His hands left her back to wrap tight around her waist. ‘But there was no need. I told you.’ She stayed still for a few moments, their breathing in sync, as she let her fear subside. But as the adrenaline leached from her system and her heart rate started to slow, she became suddenly self-conscious, nestled in his lap. Glancing over his shoulder, she saw two of the mountain rescue staff grinning at them. She started to slip away, but Mauro’s arms pulled her back in tight.
‘Don’t,’ he said, pressing a kiss on her jaw. ‘Stay there.’
She looked past him again, and the others in the room were blatantly watching them still.
She smiled, and leaned in close so that they wouldn’t be overheard. ‘Maybe we should wait until we’re alone?’
‘And what if I can’t?’
She bit her lip, playing with that thought for a moment. What if they couldn’t wait? What if they didn’t want to? What if she didn’t care what anyone else thought?
What if she didn’t care that she might get hurt?
‘I think we have to try,’ she said at last. ‘We can talk later, back at the villa.’
He narrowed his eyes as she slipped off his lap. ‘You’re not interested in taking a risk, are you? Even after we kissed. Even after you started falling for me.’
‘I’m n—’
‘Don’t deny it, Amber. I’ve seen the way you look at me.’ He wheeled closer, back into her personal space, until he barely needed to speak above a whisper. ‘I’ve seen how scared you are, as well. I know that you could only be that afraid because you know that I could hurt you.’
She took a deep breath before she spoke again. ‘I’ve never said that I’m falling for you.’ After all she’d decided that she absolutely, definitely wasn’t. But the very fact that she’d had to put so much effort into forgetting that one kiss, surely that told her everything that she needed to know about how she felt about Mauro Evans.
So she was falling for him—so what? She wasn’t some slave to her libido, or even to her heart. She had to be more careful than that, otherwise she was going to get hurt. It was what Mauro had agreed to—he’d said all along that he didn’t want to get involved, so why was he angry about it now?
‘But even if I was, what I feel doesn’t have to have anything to do with this. Can’t you see that? I went with my feelings before, and I got burnt. I don’t want that to happen again.’
‘And what about this?’ he asked, gesturing at the two of them.
She sighed, shaking her head in confusion. ‘I need to be sure, Mauro. I need to know that you’re not going to hurt me, and I’m afraid your history doesn’t exactly work in your favour. What’s changed, Mauro? Why would I be any different from all the women you have discarded before me?’
‘What’s changed? You should know—meeting you, that’s what’s changed. You’re the one who started asking questions about me and Louise. Making me wonder whether I’d got this wrong from the start. And now you’re the one who’s backing out. Why is that? Is it really because of what Ian did to you? Do you really want to give him that level of control over your life? Let him ruin your future, as well as your past?’
‘This has nothing to do with him.’ She gritted her teeth, and fought down the anger that always reared its head when she thought of her ex. ‘It’s the opposite; it’s about what I want.’
‘And what is that, Amber?’
‘I want to not get screwed over, Mauro. You know that I have feelings for you. You know that I can’t pretend that that night at Castello Vigneto didn’t mean anything. But you’re the one who’s just pulled a U-turn and I’ve not had time to catch up. I just need time to think—is that unreasonable? Please, Mauro, it’s been a very long day and I don’t want to fight. Can we just drop this?’
She watched Mauro take a deep breath, and the lines on his face deepen. He wasn’t happy, but she could tell that he didn’t want to fight either.
‘I want to find out where this could go, Amber. Aren’t you curious?’
‘Oh, that’s what it is, is it? That’s what’s killing you.’ She gave a weary, hollow laugh. ‘Here I was thinking it was me that you wanted, but I’m not sticking around because you’ve just realised that you need to conquer the world of committed relationships next. I’m not going to be your next gold medal, Mauro, because in a month or two, when the shine has worn off, you’re going to revert to type and you’ll be gone.’
* * *
Was she right? Was everything that he was feeling, the pull in his gut every time that he saw her, the need to have her skin against his, the way she filled all his thoughts when they were apart, the way that making her smile made him feel as if he’d just won another gold—was it just novelty?
He couldn’t believe that in a week, a month, a year from now, he would feel any different. He didn’t have the answers. He didn’t know if they could make this work. But he knew—he felt—more than anything that walking away now would be something that he would regret for the rest of his life.
He couldn’t let Amber just push any mention of what they had aside, as if they didn’t matter. But it was clear that her past was holding her back, and if she couldn’t come to terms with that, she was never going to give him, give them a chance.
One of the park staff called them both over, and explained that they would be able to descend in the cable car. Amber was silent as they were ushered into the funivia, and he sent up a silent prayer of thanks that they were alone at last. She had barely said a word since their argument. More than anything, he wanted to reach out and take her hand, to anchor himself to her, but he knew that wouldn’t help matters.
‘You were amazing out there,’ he told her, nodding towards the expanse of thick white fog on the other side of the plastic windows.
A light lit behind her face, and she glowed with a self-confidence he had only seen glimpses of before. ‘Thanks. It felt good to help. Maybe I should consider a career change if the show doesn’t go well.’
She smiled, but he knew how much her job meant to her. Could she really be so blasé at the thought of losing it?
‘There’s something I don’t understand. Surely your editor wouldn’t have hired you if she hadn’t thought you were talented. So what’s changed?’ He asked the question, but it didn’t take a genius to guess the answer. Ian, her ex, had happened, and he’d sapped her of her confidence.
‘I just couldn’t write the way I used to. How could I give romance advice when every time I thought about what Ian had done I grew more convinced that a relationship doesn’t bring anything but heartbreak?’
‘So you were trying to protect your readers, by telling them not to get involved. The same way you tried to protect yourself. Maybe you’re not doing them any favours. Maybe it’s time to drop some of those walls, let someone in.’
She looked out of the pod again, out into the clouds, a small smile on her lips.
‘Maybe you’re right.’
* * *
Amber stared in the mirror in her bathroom, a lip crayon stalled halfway to her mouth. Ayisha and her team were waiting for her down on the beach for their last interview, and she knew this one had to be different. She had come out here to save her career, and she still wanted that. She needed her job. But she didn’t want to pretend any more. She didn’t want to be bitter and defensive, but she didn’t want to go back to being the woman she had been before Ian had hurt her either.
Mauro had been right. Since Ian had left she’d given him too much control over her life. First had been the chippy, icy front, and the defensive barriers she’d constructed to stop herself getting hurt. That she’d projected into her work in an attempt to protect others. And then this week pretending it had never happened at all, trying to remember who she’d been before she’d met him, acting out an approximation of that stranger on screen.
She wanted to be the woman who had moved on from that heartache, and come out stronger the other side. She just wanted to be herself.
If she could do that, then she’d be home and free. Well, she’d be home, anyway, waiting to see how the show would be received, whether she would be keeping her job. She lifted her hand and painted some subtle colour onto her lips.
A soft knock on the bathroom door was followed by Mauro poking his head into the room. ‘Everything OK?’ he asked. ‘I think they’re ready for us.’
She turned to smile at him. ‘Let’s do this.’
Mauro came over and gave her a quizzical look. ‘What did I miss?’
‘What do you mean?’
‘You look different.’
She shrugged—and held up the crayon. ‘A different colour. I’m impressed. I didn’t think you’d notice.’
‘No, not that,’ he said, reaching up and tilting her chin down. ‘No, it’s something else. something...more. Whatever it is, I like it.’
‘Good,’ Amber said, replacing the crayon in her make-up bag and zipping it shut. ‘Are you ready? Or have you come to pinch my make-up?’
He laughed. ‘You are in a good mood. Lead the way, and don’t you dare try painting my face.’
‘Well,’ Julia said, once they were settled out on the loveseat and the camera was rolling. ‘That was some dramatic stuff up on the mountain. Can you talk us through what happened?’
Mauro looked so relaxed, Amber thought. And so gorgeous with the sun catching the red in his hair and the gold in his skin.
‘Dramatic? It was terrifying!’ Amber said, collapsing back in the seat. ‘Well, the short story is that we found an injured hiker while we were trekking, and we had to get him to safety.’
‘Wow, it sounds like he was lucky you were there,’ Julia said after Amber explained about Enzo’s broken arm. The presenter leaned forward, eating it up. ‘Your trekking experience came in useful, then, Mauro. It’s lucky you were there.’
Mauro shrugged and held up his palms, his expression all modesty. ‘It did, for the practical stuff, but it was Amber who was really amazing.’
‘Oh?’ Julia smiled in encouragement. ‘Can you tell us more?’
‘Well, when we found Enzo, he was understandably distressed—a bit panicked. To start with he didn’t want either of us to touch him, but we had to immobilise his broken arm. It was Amber who managed to persuade him to let us help, and then she was so determined to get him quickly to safety that she trekked the last part on her own through dense fog.’
‘Wow, pretty brave stuff, Amber.’
‘Thanks,’ Amber said. ‘It didn’t feel brave, though. It was just what needed doing. It felt pretty scary actually.’
‘But she did it anyway,’ Mauro interjected. ‘Nothing was going to stop her once she realised what had to be done.’
‘And what did you think, when you were watching Amber walk away with Enzo?’ Julia had leaned in again, and Amber could see from her expression that she knew that she was on to something, that she’d touched on something potentially explosive.
‘I thought she was incredible,’ Mauro said simply, looking over and meeting her eye. She was rooted to the spot, blood rushing to her cheeks, making her glow with embarrassment and pride. ‘She didn’t doubt herself for a second. She just did it.’
He wouldn’t let her gaze go, and in his expression she saw everything that they had both been too scared to say out loud. She saw the depth of his feelings for her. She saw herself through his eyes, and she found that she liked the filter—she was the woman who had come through the other side of adversity. She saw a survivor.
Despite Mauro’s modesty, she knew that she would never have found safety without his guidance. And he wouldn’t have got Enzo to safety without her. It had only worked out because they had worked together. They had both understood what they brought to the situation and had used their gifts accordingly.
As the interview wound down, she felt a frisson of excitement. She still couldn’t see how it could work; couldn’t see how they could fit a relationship into two lives with no space. But for the first time, she could really see the new her and Mauro clearly. She could see who he really was, past the playboy reputation. And she could see how he felt about her. She didn’t know where things were going from here, but she felt for certain that this was the start of something, not the end.