When I opened my eyes and found I was back in my bed, I swore in a way that would have earned a disapproving tut from my mother and a boxing across the ears from Uncle Ian. Maybe I’m really awake this time…?
I studied the room, my scowl growing as that tiny flicker of hope died. The coffee cup was missing. But so too was the clock radio … and, when I checked beneath the blanket, I discovered I was still wearing the white dress, the hem crumpled from sleep. Several of the butterflies bore creases across their brightly coloured wings.
Growling, I snatched up one of my pillows and hurled it against the wall. Then I buried my face in my hands, struggling to contain the tears searing the back of my eyeballs, the frustration closing my throat. Ikelos had trapped me in a maze. A maze not made up of cultivated hedges or upright logs bound together—I could smash my way out of one of those, even in the real world, or scale the side. No, this maze was built from pieces of my own subconscious mind. I was sure that, if I could find the middle, I’d find him, squatting like a fat spider at the centre of its web. Only, instead of trying to catch flies, he was trying to steal everything that was me. The webs weren’t sticky snares; they were lines of control, slowly spreading, taking over my body, one function at a time. Locking me down while he stole my voice, my ability to walk, to think.
I scrambled up and turned to the window, the mattress shifting beneath my toes. My goddamn boots were gone again. Tearing the curtains aside, I saw that same, white-backed glass, blank as a sheet of paper. Hands balled into fists, I smashed it, my arms as powerful as pistons because I willed them to be. Shards of glass flew all around me, scratching my cheek, slicing my toes, and I plunged out the window—
Two voices. “Melaina?”
—and woke up in my bed. The window was intact, my face unbloodied. I tried to open my eyes but the lids felt impossibly heavy. I couldn’t even twitch a finger, roll my head to the side. Am I paralysed? I recalled the syringe in Ewan’s hand. It seemed so long ago. Drugged? Or was I still sleeping?
Panic fluttered in my chest, my belly. Adrenalin-fuelled energy fizzed along my veins. I directed all of it to opening my eyes. The clock radio was back, but this time the display wasn’t jumbled letters but a word, written in blocky lines.
“No.” The word came out muffled, as if my mouth was full of cotton wool. My tongue felt huge and dry.
“What, like an essay or something?” I ground out the words. “I already quit uni.” I reached out, shoving the radio to the floor with a crash. “Let. Me. Out!”
Head spinning, belly churning, I staggered upwards again, bracing myself as well as I could on the uneven surface of the bed. I hooked my hands into claws and grabbed the edge of the window frame. Teeth bared, I peeled the window back as if it was a giant sticker pasted over a hole rather than cracking glass and splintering timber. The edges of my vision faded to grey as the last of my energy flowed from me, and I heard Ikelos laughing, felt his webs coiling tighter as I toppled out the window, dizzy, falling—
“Melaina!”
—and someone caught me, their warm arms holding me. I was limp, as cold as a corpse. Too cold even to shiver. Was I dead? Could I rest now?
Slowly, heat seeped back into me. Awareness returned. I was lying on a bed, my bed, on top of the covers. Brad cradled me from behind, spooning me. I recognised the smell of him. I recognised the freckle on his hand, which rested on my upper arm. I recognised the contours of his body where it pressed against my back, my legs.
“Not again,” I moaned, trying to toss his hand away. It might as well have been made of steel for all the effect I had on it.
“Melaina! It’s us.” Brad stroked my hair back from my face. The tender gesture brought tears to my eyes. I didn’t know if I had the energy to banish another ephemera. I was sure I didn’t have the willpower. “You’re safe now,” he murmured.
“Don’t lie to her,” Leander said. The bed shifted as he sat down on the other side, gazing at me with worried green eyes. His wings hung down behind him, a living cape. His clothes were matt black, a subdued hue that was very unlike him. At least the tight pants and vest were his traditional style. “She’s not safe. None of us are.”
His words were so frank—so close to my own, despair-tinged thoughts—that they cut through my grief. I stared at him through spikey lashes. “Are you real?” I whispered.
“As real as I always am.” A smile quirked the corner of his lips.
“How can I believe you?” I said with an unladylike sniff. “That’s what an ephemera would say.”
“Will me away.”
“I don’t have the energy.” A sigh slipped out of me. I knew I sounded pathetic, and I hated it. But I was so, so tired.
Leander leaned down, reaching past Brad’s hand to lay his fingertips on my cheek. The touch was as gentle as the brush of a moth’s wing, as warm as a candle flame just out of reach … and with it came a thin thread of energy, trickling into me like molten silver. It didn’t fill the void completely, but it helped. The despair receded. My eyes widened, and Leander nodded, seeing my realisation.
But I had to be sure. I closed my eyes and willed both Leander and Brad to vanish.
They didn’t.
“You’re really here!” I turned, kissing Brad fiercely, before leaping up and throwing myself into Leander’s arms. His returning hug was gentle, unsure. “How did you find me?”
“I’m an Oneiroi,” Leander said as I sat back, gripping Brad’s hand. My boyfriend propped his head up on his other hand so he could see both me and Leander as the Oneiroi spoke. “I don’t need to be near a person in the real world to find their dreams.”
“So you haven’t found my body?” My stomach sank.
Leander shook his head, his lips pressing together in a thin line.
“Then how are you here?” I asked Brad. He was, I saw with relief, wearing full-length striped pyjamas. I wasn’t sure I could handle the awkwardness of seeing him naked with Leander sitting right there beside us. I might self-combust on the spot.
“Leander brought me into your dream.” Brad regarded my clothes with a bemused expression of his own. I was still wearing the damned white butterfly dress.
“But why? Please don’t take this the wrong way, Brad, but I know bringing you in isn’t exactly energy efficient.” I raised my eyebrows at Leander. “Aren’t you burning energy we could’ve used to fight Ikelos?”
“I needed his help,” Leander said with a theatrical sigh.
“He found your dream,” Brad added, his expression a trifle smug, “but Ikelos had shielded it, and Leander needed help getting through. Apparently, your subconscious trusts me more than him.”
“Oh.” I looked from one man to the other, feeling like I should be embarrassed or worried. But the tension I’d felt between them the first time they’d met seemed to be gone. Maybe breaking into my mind had helped them to bond. I wasn’t sure whether to be pleased or horrified.
“The upshot is that Ikelos and Ewan still have you, and we don’t know where,” Brad continued, his expression grim. “Nelson is doing his best to find you, but I think he’s floundering. Do you have any sense of where you might be?”
“None.” I scrunched the portion of hem over my knee up in my hand, hiding the Monarch butterfly from view. I would have willed it away but didn’t want to squander the energy Leander had spared for me. “The one time I came close to consciousness, I was lying on the back seat of a car, but I couldn’t move. I didn’t get a look out the window. The only other thing I’ve noticed … well, it might not be relevant, but that ocean noise? It doesn’t seem to fit with the rest of my dream.”
“Ocean noise?” Leander tipped his head to the side.
“Yeah, you know? Surf pounding on rocks, waves on sand?” The sound had been present since the first time I’d dreamed of waking in my house; it was so constant I’d almost grown used to it.
“I know what it sounds like,” the Oneiroi said, exasperated. “You can hear the ocean now?”
I nodded. “You can’t?”
“No,” Leander said.
Brad shook his head. “Me neither. Is it possible it’s something you’re hearing in the real world?”
“Maybe. You think Ewan’s taken me to the coast for a holiday?” I tried to force a laugh, but it fell flat.
Leander looked at Brad, who shook his head, sitting up straight and wrapping his arms around my shoulders. “No. Nuh-uh. We just found her. I’m not leaving.”
“You’re the only one who can tell Nelson.” Leander leaned forward. “Perhaps Ewan has a property at the beach.”
“On a nurse’s salary?” Brad said with a snort.
“Or maybe he has a relative who owns a holiday home,” Leander pressed. “Brad, you have to go. If I’ve taken your dreaming mind so far from your body … well, it might not be safe.”
A chill crept over me. I eased myself out of Brad’s arms, turning so I could see his expression. “Brad, where are you?”
“Asleep in your bed, actually.” Brad looked around the dream equivalent with a critical eye. Was he noticing the subtle differences too? “But don’t worry about it. Jen’s looking after me. And I’m not leaving.”
“Actually, you are,” Leander said.
Brad’s eyes narrowed, his jaw tightening as he stared at the Oneiroi. “You’re going to kick me out?”
“If I have to.” Leander crossed his arms and squared his shoulders, his wings rustling together behind him. Then he glanced at me and his expression softened. “But I’d rather have your agreement. If you won’t do it for your own sake, do it for Melaina’s. The longer Ikelos possesses her … well. Let’s just say that this tiny corner of dream we’re in is small and getting smaller.”
My skin prickled and the room seemed to grow darker. I was unsure whether it really was, or if it was just my panic. Of course, here, the latter could cause the former as easily as the other way around. “What happens when it vanishes?” I said, my voice shaking a little.
Beside me, Brad’s mutinous look faded. He prised my fingers from around the hem of my skirt, taking my hand in his again.
“I don’t know for sure.” Leander’s gaze slid away from mine to regard the blank cupboard door behind me.
“But you have a theory,” I said. “Tell me. Please?”
“Best-case scenario? You will remain, but he’ll have complete control over your body and mind whenever he wants it. He’ll be able to slip in and take over at any time.”
“Oh.”
“There’s more.” Leander wouldn’t meet my eye. “He might still want to breed himself a half-Oneiroi, lucid-dreaming offspring. He’s never been one to be satisfied with the power he has. An army of Oneiroi-controllable humans who he can send anywhere? Who he can offer to other Oneiroi to possess in exchange for their fealty? That’s something he’d definitely be interested in.” He swallowed, his Adam’s apple bobbing. “So once he has established control of you, he may go after Olivia again. Or…”
Brad swore.
“Not or. And. He’ll do both,” I whispered, afraid that if I spoke any louder I’d throw up all over myself. “Go after Olivia and … and give me to Ewan.”
“We won’t let that happen,” Leander promised, shuffling across the bed so that he was right in front of me, his wings spread wide. With Brad to my side, I felt a little bit safer—but the icy feeling in the pit of my stomach remained. I remembered Ewan taking the opportunity to grope me while he was retrieving my phone. I had no doubt he’d do as Ikelos demanded, and gleefully.
“I’ve been trying to break free.” I clutched at Leander’s arm with my free hand. “He’s too strong for me.”
“But not for us,” Leander promised.
“That’s why I need to stay,” Brad said, a desperate note to his voice. “I can help you.”
“No, you can’t, and you know it,” Leander said. “You being here is costing me energy I could be using to help Melaina. You got me in and I’m grateful for that, but you need to go. Get Nelson to investigate where Ewan might be holding her. Think of it as a two-pronged attack: us in Erebus and you in your world.”
Brad stared at me, his heart in his eyes. “Melaina, I…”
“I know.” I slid both arms around his waist and leaned my head on his shoulder. I didn’t want him to go either. What if I never saw him again? But if I—my body—really was at the coast, that meant Leander had dragged Brad’s mind at least one-hundred-and-fifty kilometres from Canberra. That couldn’t be good for him. I swallowed and said, “But what Leander’s saying makes sense. Just … make sure Nelson finds me.”
“I love you,” Brad whispered into my hair, clutching me against him. “Come back to me.”
“I will.” I laughed, hating how mirthless it sounded. “Make sure I have somewhere to come back to.”
I didn’t want to let go of Brad. From the ferocity with which he clung to me, I knew he didn’t want me to either. Finally, Leander cleared his throat and I withdrew, wiping my eyes with the back of my hand. “Before I go,” Brad said, looking past me to meet the Oneiroi’s gaze, “is there anything I can do to give Melaina some of my energy, like you did? To help her against Ikelos?”
I opened my eyes wide, shaking my head at Leander. Say no, my expression said. Brad would need everything he had to make sure he got back to his own body in one piece.
“Yes,” Leander said. I glared at him, and he grimaced. “But not too much. We need you to wake up too, remember?”
“Fine. How do I do it?”
“Give me your hand.” Leander held his own hand out, palm up. Brad gripped it, and Leander held out his other hand to me. When I hesitated, both men scowled at me, their faces wearing an identical look of impatience: brown eyes and green narrowed, brows furrowed, lips pressed together.
I realised in that moment that I loved them both. Not in the same way, no; my feelings for Brad blazed as hot as an autumn bonfire, while those for Leander were closer to the comfortable heat given off by a smouldering log in a bed of embers. But I did love them. With my heart flipping in my chest, I reached for Leander’s hand with one of mine, taking Brad’s free one in the other so that we formed a triangle.
“What’s that smile for?” Brad asked me.
“Nothing,” I said. I hadn’t even realised I was smiling. “Just remember, don’t give me too much.”
“I won’t,” the two of them said together, before sharing a self-conscious laugh.
“Ready?” Leander added.
Brad and I nodded.
For a moment, nothing happened. Then Brad’s lips parted in a gasp, showing me a glimpse of his teeth. His pupils dilated, and his fingers clenched in mine. I glanced at Leander, worried something was wrong, but the Oneiroi was serene beside me, his legs crossed and his eyes closed, long lashes brushing his cheeks.
The power flowed into me, and I forgot to worry.
Leander’s energy was usually starlight silver. It tasted like cold spring water, tangy with minerals. It smelled like snow under wan sunlight. But now it was tinged with green: the same snow, only in the dappled shade of a pine forest. Airy and cool, woody and brisk. Was that what Brad’s energy, his spirit, felt like? Surprise thrilled through me. I’d assumed he’d be the sweet, smoky brown of expensive chocolate or the invigorating aroma of coffee.
I’d gotten the invigorating part right, at least. As the power flowed into me, my skin tingled and my senses expanded until I felt like I could float away. Slowly, Brad’s lids drooped, his lips going slack and full. I’d seen that sleepy, satisfied look on his face before … but never in the company of others. A blush burned my cheeks.
“That’s enough.” I squeezed Leander’s hand to bring his attention to me.
Leander’s eyes flew open, and he regarded me with surprise. The tips of his ears flushed red and the flow of energy stopped. Beside us, Brad’s head lolled to the side. “Leander,” I said, exasperated, gesturing to Brad with the hand whose fingers intertwined with his—though I didn’t let go. “You can’t send him back to his body like this. He’ll sleep for a week!”
“I…” Leander blinked at Brad. “You’re right.” He frowned, and slowly Brad roused, as if from sleep. Leander was giving some of his own energy back to Brad; I was sure of it. It was a curious sensation, like feeling the flow of a river through the soles of your shoes when you were standing beside it. The power didn’t pass through me, but it shivered my bones regardless.
“Is it done?” Brad blinked sleepily, looking between me and Leander. A frown pinched his brow. “What?”
“Nothing.” Leander released both Brad’s and my hands, shuffling back so far that I worried he’d fall off the edge of the bed. “It’s done,” he added, rubbing his hands on his pants.
I rolled my eyes and turned to Brad, placing my palms on his cheeks and kissing him full on the lips. “Thank you. Now, make sure you go straight home, young man,” I teased. “No going past the mall to hang out with your friends.”
“Yes, ma’am,” he said with a grin that quickly faded. “Though I’m not sure how to get there.”
“Can you take him back to his own dreams, Leander?” I asked.
The Oneiroi shook his head. “If I leave you, I might not be able to find my way back in again. But I can help… Here.” He stretched out awkwardly from his position on the edge of the bed, gripping Brad’s shoulder. “Close your eyes. Can you see the thread?”
“Yes.” Brad’s hand waved in the air beside him, fingers outstretched and running from his chest in a straight line out the bedroom door. “It’s pretty. Reminds me of a field of grass blowing in the wind. Shimmery.”
“I can see that,” Leander said, nodding. “Now, follow the cord. It will lead you back to yourself. And remember, tell Nelson about the beach.”
“Okay…” And, without opening his eyes or saying goodbye, Brad faded from view. The only sign he’d been there was a depression in the blanket where he’d been sitting.
Taking a deep, trembling breath, I exhaled through my teeth. Would I ever see him again? I jumped, startled, when Leander’s hand slipped into my own. “You’ll be back with him in no time.” His gaze was intent on my face.
“You…” My throat felt tight, like someone was squeezing my windpipe closed. I swallowed and tried again. “You can’t promise that.”
“I just did.”
“Hey, what was that all about before, with the energy transfer? You looked like—”
Leander swivelled on the bed, standing and rolling his shoulders back. “Never mind that now. Let’s go serve Ikelos his eviction notice.”
“If you say so.” I grinned.