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Chapter Fifteen

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Maggie’s eyelashes fluttered open as new light crept through the cream-colored curtains of the master bedroom. It was a remarkable thing to awaken back in Brooklyn, rather than Martha’s Vineyard, and outside, horns beeped wildly as traffic peppered its way through the morning. She cooed inwardly and turned around, hoping to discover Rex beside her. Instead, the space where his body had been was indented but no longer warm, as though he’d been up for a while. A glance at the bedside clock told her: it was just past eight-thirty. 

Maggie stepped lightly off the bed and tip-toed in just her dressing gown to the hallway. From there, she heard an abrupt crash, as though Rex hunted for something. She rushed to help him, only to discover that he yanked a suitcase out of the hall closet with the strength of a man who’d gotten “almost too ripped” for their wedding. 

“What are you doing?” The sight of him getting out his suitcase made her heart stop beating. Her voice was fraught.

He turned back and grimaced as though surprised that she’d awakened. He had showered already and wore a button-up shirt and a pair of slacks. He raked a hand through his hair and said, “Hey, Mags.”

Maggie sensed a rat from a mile away. She crossed her arms over her chest and leaned against the wall. There was a great distance between them, suddenly, as though the script had changed and she hadn’t gotten the edits. 

“I couldn’t sleep last night,” Rex told her finally. His voice sounded stern and sterile. “I got to thinking. I was thinking about how you left and wouldn’t come back—thinking about how you’re keeping something from me— something big. And they asked me to go on a business trip this morning, so I said yes. I need to get away from whatever this is. It isn’t healthy for either of us.” 

Maggie pressed her lips together tightly as her eyes filled with tears. 

“I’m no idiot, Mags. I don’t know why you’re lying to me for the first time in our relationship, but I know I don’t like it. I just know that it feels like there is a Grand Canyon between us. And no matter how long I hold you, no matter how many texts I send to you to reach out, no matter how many times I ask you to come home, you’ll stay over on your side of the Grand Canyon until you decide differently. It makes me sick, Mags. It makes me sick to feel like I’m looking over at a stranger.”

Maggie shook her head violently. “Rex... Please. Please, don’t go. Please, I’m back...”

“I didn’t marry you to live amongst lies and deceit,” he told her firmly. “I married you so that we could be life partners. I married you so that we could make every decision together. But a few weeks ago, you up and just left without any explanation. You wouldn’t answer me when I asked you how you were. You hardly treated me like a human, Mags, let alone the man you’re supposed to love.” 

Maggie dropped her chin to her chest as a sob escaped her lips. She had never even considered the possibility that he wouldn’t want to be with her any longer. She’d always assumed he would be right there, pestering her with text messages, cradling her as she slept. Here, he stood up to her pain and demanded answers. 

And maybe this was what she needed. 

Maybe this was what she’d been waiting for.

Maybe this was proof that she didn’t have to live this all alone. 

“Rex...” Maggie wiped her fingers over her cheek as she drummed up the courage to tell him. She couldn’t waste the beautiful world they’d created together. 

She couldn’t be like Linda described herself— sad and alone and filled with regrets. Sometimes, you had to act. This was one of those times. 

“Maggie, please. Tell me.” His eyes were the size of saucers. He dropped the suitcase on the floor between them. It would only be filled if she allowed it to be filled. 

Finally, Maggie burst into tears. Her shoulders shook as she collapsed in a heap. In a flash, Rex had his arms around her as he whispered, his voice a rasp, “Maggie. Whatever it is, you don’t have to deal with this alone. Come on. Talk to me. Please.” His lips were warm as he placed little kisses along her jawline, over her eyebrow. 

Maggie took a slow, staggered breath. This was it. This was the time she needed to take. The stage was hers.

“That day, you were supposed to meet me at the clinic...” she began.

Rex dropped his shoulders forward. “I know, baby. I’m so sorry I missed it. I hate myself for it. It feels like everything changed that day.”

Maggie shook her head vehemently. “It did. When you asked me what happened at the clinic, I lied to you.”

Rex shifted his head up. His eyes met hers. Maggie remembered, with startling accuracy, what it had felt like to gaze into those eyes and pledge her life forever. Things had felt so different then. Her dream of being a mother naturally had remained within her. Her father had sat in the audience, alive and just as mean as ever. 

“I found out that I can’t have children naturally,” Maggie rasped. 

Rex’s lips parted in surprise. “But you’re only twenty-five...”

Maggie furrowed her brow as Rex hurriedly apologized.

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m listening,” he whispered. 

Maggie cleared her throat and explained everything she now knew about her health and that the likelihood of getting pregnant on her own, or even at all, was very low. Rex listened as his eyes widened with surprise. She could feel his hesitation in everything he did. After all, wasn’t Maggie healthy? Wasn’t she almost next to perfect? They’d always thought so before. They would never think so again. 

When Maggie finished her story, Rex dug his face into her shoulder and held onto her as tightly as he could in a way that made her feel wholly protected. She remained in his embrace for what seemed like a small eternity before he stood and helped her to her feet. 

“Don’t you need to go on your business trip?” Maggie whispered.

“Don’t be stupid, Mags,” Rex told her point-blank. “I’m not going anywhere.”

Rex led her back to bed, where he tucked her beneath the sheets before retreating into the hallway to call his boss about his inability to fly away from the city. He called it a “family emergency.” As Maggie listened to the familiar sound of Rex’s voice, she found herself falling back into sleep. Her eyelids danced low and darkness crept over her. 

When she awoke several hours later, she found Rex scooped up behind her, cradling her warmly and lovingly. She turned into him and repositioned her head on the pillow, the one they’d picked out together for their wedding registry. Their lives were weaved together in nearly every way. Why had she thought she wanted any other world but this one?

“I’m glad you didn’t go,” she whispered. 

“No. I already messed up bad when I missed that horrible doctor’s appointment.” Rex shook his head with shame and then added, “I’ll never miss anything like that again. You shouldn’t have to carry that weight alone.”

Maggie furrowed her brow. “I shouldn’t have made such a big deal about it. Your career is important. And neither of us knew just how bad it would be.”

Rex buzzed his lips. “You’re my number one. You’re it for me, Mags. And...” He closed his eyes for a long moment, then continued. “If you feel up to it, I’ve been reading about IVF this morning. It’s a big undertaking. It can take a lot out of us. I know that. But if you feel up to it...”

The mere fact that he had spent time researching a potential resolve for them to have a baby together filled Maggie’s heart with hope and longing. It showed the true depths of his love for her and she was grateful for it.

“I’ll probably be crazy with hormones,” she whispered. “I’ll probably eat all of the candy in the house and then send you out for more. I’ll probably yell and scream and cry and laugh all in the span of five minutes.”

“And that’s so different from normal, how?” Rex teased.

Maggie erupted with laughter. The giggles made her stomach bounce as she tossed herself onto her back and stared at the ceiling. What a perfect man! What a perfect father he would be! What a less-than-perfect start to something great!

“I already called the doctor’s office. The one in Manhattan,” Rex said softly. “And they said there’s an appointment tomorrow to begin the entire process. But if you’re up for it...”

Maggie spun into him and wrapped her arms around him as tight as she could. The thwack-thwack of his beating heart made her body quake. 

“Does that mean we’re headed to our first IVF appointment tomorrow?” Rex asked. 

Maggie laughed. “Yes. It does.”

Rex laced his fingers through hers and gazed at her lovingly. For the first time, they operated as a team, just as they’d pledged to do mere months ago. This had been an initial hiccup. But through this hardship, Maggie had discovered a great deal about herself, about life, and about how harrowing it could become if you weren’t brave enough to face it head-on. She was ready— ready for treatments, the unbalanced hormones, and the upcoming disappointments, only to try everything all over again. With Rex by her side, she could do anything. She finally recognized that about herself, now. He was her missing link.