Individuals
If you have read the book, you probably have begun the process of finding and connecting with the story of your loss. The recommended journaling might have been particularly helpful in this regard. In the pages that follow, I suggest a series of six meetings for Getting Grief Right support groups, with suggested topics and agendas for each meeting. As an individual, you are invited to approach the material in the same way, meeting by meeting, making use of the same review materials and questions to deepen and organize the exploration of your story.
Again, I strongly encourage you to put your thoughts and feelings in writing. Although you might not be subject to a group schedule, it’s important to devote specific time to read, think about, and respond to the questions in the study guide. You honor yourself and the one you lost by carving time out of your day or week. Find a calm, peaceful environment where you can reflect on and express the emotions of your loss.
After you finish with the study guide, you can reach out to share your story of loss in any number of ways. Reflect on the people who have best supported you in your grief so far, who have been safe and attentive. Perhaps it was a friend, sibling, clergy member, or coworker who seemed to know intuitively how to listen and who knew what you needed. Tell that person that you have found this book helpful and ask if they will read it, particularly chapter 12, “Help for the Helper.” Then ask whether they would be willing to receive your narrative, either by reading what you’ve written or by listening as you read it to them.
Tell them that all you require is for them to listen attentively. Gentle affirmation of your story would be wonderful, but the listening is most important. Encourage questions that arise naturally, but tell listeners that they should avoid judgment of any kind and should not give advice unless you request it. Odds are, the person you have chosen will likely know exactly what to do. Your story can be shared over a series of meetings at a coffee shop, on a park bench, or in the living room of your home — whatever is most comfortable for you.
Established Support Groups
This study guide can also be a valuable resource for members of existing support groups. It is not necessary that group members read the book. Study guide questions, standing alone, will be helpful to those attempting to explore the experience of grief. I foresee groups like The Compassionate Friends or Survivors of Suicide using the study guide to facilitate small-group discussion. The same can be true for existing grief groups in churches, synagogues, and mosques.
If existing support groups choose to engage with the study guide more systematically, from beginning to end, I strongly recommend that members adopt my suggestions for how to proceed and adhere to the suggested meeting schedule.