Present day.
“I don’t understand,” Anna said. Her arms were held wide in question, and her eyes were bright with wonder. “Why in the world would you purposely invite a curse into your life?”
“You’re trying to simplify something that is complicated. My having to deal with the death of pets as a child and kneel beside friends and family as they lay in caskets as I got older brought about a search for the meaning of life.”
“Questions like why we are here?”
“Yes. And my mother’s obsession with religion and the nonresponses she would get after years of devout prayer encouraged a change in me that had me searching everywhere but heavenward.”
“So you’re angry at God?”
“With each death I had to mourn, my focus became fixated on the idea that something other than God had control over our destinies.”
Alister snickered, shook his head and looked away.
“I’m sure this all sounds so very dramatic to a mental health doctor,” Alister said. “But as hard as my mother would pray, she never got one single request answered, and yet day after day she would get on her knees and thank God for anything and everything that happened in her life.”
“And this angered you. Why?”
“Good or bad, it didn’t matter,” Alister said. “She was thankful and submissive, and I could never understand why. I surmised that having to suffer one way or another was what we were designed to endure. Whether from self-persecution or the mean nature of others, it didn’t matter. So why in the world should God be given thanks for that?”
“What I don’t understand,” Anna said, “is why, when things get tough for someone, do they immediately blame God? I mean do people really think they are so important that they feel God owes them something?”
“If God is all-knowing and all-powerful, then He has the ability to change things and make them right, but He doesn’t.”
“Then what about free will?”
“Let’s not forget about all the disease that can riddle our bodies, tragic accidents that plague our days and random acts of violence we commit against each other because we are made in His likeness.”
Alister stood and started to walk the path toward the roundabout, and Anna followed.
“And one night while I mourned the loss of my grandmother, the idea that death was not just an event that was going to happen but, that it must have been controlled by someone consumed me, and I was compelled to communicate with it. I believed if I could gain its mercy and trust, I could escape its wrath and wouldn’t have to suffer the same fate as everyone else I knew. So I prayed to death every night for mercy to spare me from the suffering I had had to witness.”
“Is that what this is about?” Anna’s tone was gentle. “Are you afraid to die, Alister?”
Alister rubbed his chin and could feel stubble that had grown back. “I used to be when I was much younger, but not anymore. I would welcome it if there were a way.” Alister stopped at the roundabout and looked down the path that would bring him back to his room. He turned away from that route. “Let us not go back to my room just yet.”
Anna stopped by Alister’s side and refrained from making any comment or suggestion.
“I believe it was after the very first time I prayed I had gotten a response. I felt a void fill that had been empty for a long time. And right then I knew I was onto something. I had already gotten a greater response than my mother had, and that proved my prayers were being heard.”
“And you prayed to death?”
“Yes, to the entity that was responsible for it.”
Alister looked down the path that bent alongside the entire length of the hospital. On one side, the enormous building stretched toward the sky, and on the other side, the thick forest blocked out most of the sunlight.
Alister pointed into the distance toward the front of the hospital. “I haven’t been down that way. Do you mind taking a walk?”
Anna hesitated. “Let’s not roam too far. I’ve only secured this area of the building.”
“I don’t mind.” Alister started on the path and examined his surroundings as he moved onward. “But this is interesting.” He eyed the trees and rubbed his chin.
“What?”
Alister held up a finger and prompted Anna’s silence. “You know, the idea that I’d discovered death was an actual living, thinking being filled me with a range of emotions that went from absolute fear to adoration and even to curiosity. To imagine such a being to be real was incomprehensible, and I wondered if it could be labeled as good or evil—good because it ended people’s suffering and evil because it was designed to end someone’s life.”
“You sound sympathetic to it.”
“Did it perform its task with malice, or did it find remorse within the parameters of its lonely existence?”
Anna clasped her hands behind her back. “This is interesting, but it is nothing more than forged memories to protect you.”
Alister kept his focus on the tree line. “What I really wanted to know was how it would respond to love—even admiration—from someone that was supposed to fear it.”
“Alister?”
“But could you imagine?” Alister asked, his face bright with excitement. “Imagine how I felt when death began to show me favor. I felt as though I’d discovered eternal life—the key to living forever. I celebrated the idea that I was immune to illness, injury and, ultimately, death.”
“Alister.”
“But everything has a price,” Alister said. “Death was jealous and filled with such rage that it wouldn’t allow anyone near me. It was as though I had become its possession and no one was permitted around me.”
“Why are you telling me this again?”
“And it wouldn’t allow me happiness.”
“I thought we moved past this.”
“And no matter what elaborate plan I tried to create to escape it, it would punish me by lashing out against those around me.”
Alister stopped walking and placed his hands on his hips. “As time went on, my misery only deepened, and the deaths started becoming more frequent and increasingly violent. With all of my family gone, I knew I had to get away to preserve as much life as possible. And that, doctor, is how I ended up here in Sunnyside.”
Alister looked at Anna and searched for the truth. “And suddenly I think I get it.”
“Get what?”
“That you are death.”
Anna stiffened. “You’ve got to be kidding me.”
“Just take a moment and tell me what you hear.”
Alister fell silent and rocked on his heels as he waited.
“And what am I supposed to be listening for?”
“Just tell me what you hear.”
Anna fell silent. “I don’t hear anything.”
“Yeah, I noticed the silence when we were sitting on the bench. You underestimated my ability to notice all the birds were gone.”
“The direction of this conversation has become absurd,” Anna said. “I’m not comfortable with it.”
“I suspected that you were death after you returned the second day, but your persistence fooled me.”
Anna grabbed Alister’s elbow and spun him around. “If I’m death as you claim, how do you explain Michael being alive?”
Alister shrugged. “Last time I saw him, he didn’t look well. And that first day we went outside, the birds were chirping and I even saw a bird fly out of a tree. The breeze rustled the leaves and everything felt so alive and clean.” Alister looked around. “It was fresh.” He started to walk. “But today everything seems so,” he said, settling his gaze on Anna, “dead.”
Anna crossed her arms. “Look,” she said.
“No, you look. I know what you are and what you’ve done, so why don’t you stop playing with me?”
“You seriously can’t believe what you’re saying.”
“Just stop it, OK?” His fists were clenched and his eyes were filled with anger. “Don’t treat me like I’m stupid.” He turned away to try and hide what stirred within. “I need you to come clean so I can deal with this. That void I spoke to you about, the one that was filled? Well, since your arrival, that feeling has only intensified.”
Anna raised a brow. “I would like to respond to you without you telling me I’m lying or having you so insistent that you completely shut down. If you would like, I could just agree with you so you can believe this fantasy is real. If that is what you want, then you can lock yourself away from the rest of the world forever, and I will leave you alone.”
Alister pursed his lips and fought against his frustration.
“You need to learn how to listen to me.”
Alister crossed his arms and searched for the breeze, but there wasn’t one.
“You need to know it’s common for a patient to develop feelings for their doctors that care for them. And I will never admit to anything that isn’t true.”
Alister reached out and brushed his fingers across Anna’s cheek. “How come your skin is always ice-cold?”
Anna sighed and resisted a shiver. “Where are the words to answer you?”
“I’m sure you’ll find them.” He pointed farther down the path that led to the front of the hospital. The air was thick with a haze he hadn’t noticed before. “I would like to go that way.” And carried a horrible smell. “Maybe I’ll be lucky enough to meet some of the people that work here.”
Anna hesitated, and Alister saw it. He kept on the path and left her behind.
“Alister!” she said. “You asked that I keep everyone away and now you are in search of someone? They won’t be out here per your request.”
“You mean to tell me you’ve shut down the entire operation of a hospital so I can go outside?” Alister said, and he placed his hands over his heart. “I’m really flattered, doctor. Thank you.”
Anna closed her eyes and sighed.
“What is it you’re so afraid of me finding?” Alister said. “You go to extremes to get me outside to see the beauty that is beyond my room, and now that I want to see things, you resist me. What’s around the front of the hospital?”
“Nothing,” Anna said. She submitted herself to follow Alister with a sigh. “I’m concerned about your behavior. Have you taken the medicine like I’ve instructed?”
Alister sniffed the air and looked to Anna in question. “Tell me you smell that.”
“Alister? I asked you a question. Have you taken your medication?”
Alister drew in a deep breath and tried to identify the smell that stained the air. “What in the hell is that?”
Anna drew a deep breath. “I don’t smell anything.”
A distant crackling sound interrupted Alister’s investigation and pulled him forward. “This way.” He quickened his pace toward the front of the hospital. “That sounds like something is on fire.”
He rounded the corner and faced bright orange, blue and yellow flames that raged from an intense bonfire. The flames belched smoke and soot that gushed upward in a toxic puff. The golf cart he had seen Michael drive by in was parked near the blaze. The tarp that covered the cart it was towing was pulled away, and a pile of human and animal carcasses sat in plain sight.
Alister’s mouth hung open as he watched Michael carry bodies from the cart and struggle to place them on the fire without burning himself. He looked over his shoulder at Anna and pointed at what he saw. “What is he doing?”
Anna searched the area Alister pointed toward. “What is it, Alister? What do you see?”
An intense anger burning as brightly as the bonfire raged inside Alister. Either Anna was completely blind, or she was playing stupid.
“Don’t give me that shit,” he said. “What is with that big fucking fire and all the bodies Michael is burning?”
“You need to calm down,” Anna said, and she looked to see if she could find what Alister claimed to see. “There is no fire.”
Alister could see the blaze reflecting inside Anna’s eyes. “What do you mean there is no fire?” He jabbed his finger in the air and stomped his foot with each word. “It is right there in front of you! Are you blind?”
Anna backed away and withdrew a small remote control from her pocket. She pressed a button on the remote. “We need to go back inside so you can calm down.”
“I’m not going anywhere with you.” He took a step away.
“This was a mistake. I shouldn’t have pushed you to do this.”
Alister held his hands out toward the fire. “How can you tell me to calm down when I can feel the heat from here?”
“I think it’s best if we just get you back to your room now.”
Alister looked at Anna with disdain. “What are you trying to do to me? You tell me stories and lie to me—for what?”
Two male orderlies emerged from the hospital and took a hold of Alister by the arms.
“Get your hands off of me!” Alister said, and he struggled to break free from the firm hands that bound him.
“Please get the patient back to his room,” Anna said. She visibly trembled and seemed winded. “And please have him restrained to the bed.”
“Restrained?” Alister said. “Go ahead—that won’t keep me from finding out the truth.”
“Relax,” one of the orderlies said, and Alister knew it was Michael. Alister no longer struggled against his hold and looked at Michael. “You’ve got to help me. She’s driving me mad.”
“Not another word,” Michael said. His command was like that of a disappointed parent disciplining their child. “You are doing this to yourself.”
He guided Alister down the path and back inside his room.
Alister sat on his bed, the confusion inside his mind as thick as the smoke outside. “Are you going to tell me I didn’t see that fire and all those bodies you were burning?”
Michael laid Alister flat on the bed and started to secure restraints to his wrists, waist and ankles. “I believe that you believe that what you say is the truth. But that doesn’t always make it so.”
“How about you?” Alister said to the other orderly as the straps being tightened around his body pinched his skin and cut off his circulation. “Are you standing by his story?”
“Sir,” the orderly said, “you should know we’re not qualified to help you with your condition. You need to communicate your concerns to your doctor.”
“I see,” Alister said. A tear of frustration rolled from the corner of his eye. “But before you go, if you would be so kind to explain why I can smell the smoke on your clothing?”
The past.
Alister stood three feet away from his window and watched a group of hospital patients monitored by three staff members. Although he longed to be out there with them, he knew it was impossible. The curse wouldn’t allow it.
The patients worked in the garden, and that was how they were rewarded for their compliance and good behavior. For hours, they would cultivate the land, pull weeds and plant annuals.
It had been nearly two weeks since Alister arrived at Sunnyside Capable Care, and he hadn’t spoken to anyone since the crazy woman attacked him. Three meals arrived every day at precise times, and the staff members that entered his room kept quiet, kept their distance and moved with haste.
A large man that wore overalls held Alister’s attention. There was no question that he was a patient. He had been on his knees for a long time and took small mounds of dirt out of a hole with a hand shovel. His bright red face dripped with sweat. He suddenly paused in his work. He raised his eyes and looked to Alister.
Alister took two steps back, and his eyes remained on the large man. There was no way he could have seen Alister. The bright day’s sun would have made it impossible to see into his dark room.
But the large man stood and waved at Alister, and Alister sat on his bed. There is no way he would offer the curse any opportunity to get anyone ever again.
The large man wiped his brow, tugged on his pant legs and knelt again. He returned his attention to the hole in the ground.