chapter five

I walk beside Sue. I watch her real close. When I can, I’m going to run. When you get kicked out of school, grown-ups hit you. They hit and yell.

Sue looks like she can run fast. She walks close beside me. She asks me what happened. I tell her the boys beat me up.

Sue says, “Mr. Warner saw what happened, Jason. He says you started it.”

I say, “No, I didn’t.”

I think, How can I run away when she’s this close?

I can see the group home down the street. We’re getting close. Sue walks beside me all the way to the back door. There’s a rule about this in the group home. The boys can only go in the back door. I think this is real stupid. In my house, I can go in any door I want. But I’m in a house that isn’t my house.

Staff mostly use the front door. I think Sue walks me to the back door because she knows I want to run. We go inside and I take off my shoes like I’m supposed to.

Sue says, “Come into the office, Jason.”

We go past the kitchen, into the office. Peter is sitting at the desk. I think, There are two of them. They’ll hurt me real bad.

Sue says, “You can sit on the bed, Jason.”

I sit on the staff bed. At night, the staff sleep like the boys do. Maybe I’ll run away sometime when they’re asleep.

I watch their hands and feet. When hands and feet move fast, you’re going to get hit. Peter watches me from the desk. Sue stands in the door. I hate her standing in the door. I get my hands and feet ready to fight.

Then I think, Why is it so quiet?

Peter’s hands and feet aren’t moving. They aren’t getting ready to fight. Neither are Sue’s—she has her hands in her pockets. I’m not too sure about this. My mom yells when I do something wrong. She hits me with whatever is around.

I look at their faces. Peter is smiling a little. Then I look at Sue. She’s still standing in the door.

Peter says, “Jason, does it make you nervous that Sue is standing in the door?”

I’m surprised by this. How does he know what I’m thinking? “Yes,” I say, real low. I don’t want to make Sue mad.

“We don’t want you to feel nervous,” says Peter. “We need to talk to you, but we want you to feel good about it. Where would you like Sue to be?”

I think this is weird, but nice. “Maybe over there,” I say. I point to the corner beside the desk.

“That’s okay with me,” says Sue. She walks to the corner and stands there. I get more surprised when she does this. And the door feels better now.

Peter starts to talk. He talks low and quiet. He talks slow. I get a bit worried, but not too bad. Peter says, “Mr. Warner says you took a boy’s marble. Then you hit the boy. That started a fight.”

I don’t say anything. I think if I say nothing, that’ll be best.

“That’s what happened, isn’t it?” says Peter.

“It’s not my school,” I say real quiet. Inside me, I feel a bubble of mad start to grow.

“It’s hard to move to a new school, isn’t it, Jason?” says Peter.

“I want my school,” I say. “I want my house. I want my mom and sister. I don’t want here. I hate this place!”

Then I stop talking. I think maybe I said too much. They’ll tell Mom. Then she’ll get mad and not let me come home—not ever.

“Tomorrow, you’ll go back to your new school,” says Peter. “But this time, Ann will be there. She’ll be there just for you. She’ll help you with your school work.”

I don’t know about this Ann. “I don’t want to go to that school,” I say.

Peter and Sue don’t say anything.

“I want to go to my room,” I say.

“Okay, Jason,” says Peter. “You can go. But I want you to leave your door open.”

Then I can’t climb out the window, I think. Now I get real sad. I know they’ll watch me good. I can’t run away. I can’t run home. I can’t see Linda and talk to her.

I go to my room. Why didn’t Peter yell or hit me? I think. But maybe he still will. If he does, I’ll be ready for him. I sit down on the bed and wait.