Silence surrounded Kera as she lay on the bed. Gustav had put up a hell of an argument that they should pool the already stretched resources by sharing the security detail and she should stay with him. After all, his suite did have two bedrooms. Damn him. His argument had been well considered, and she hadn’t found the energy to dispute his words. So here she lay in the spare bedroom of his suite. Not where she wanted to be, not at all.
She turned onto her side, punching her pillow, unable to sleep. He was only in the next room. It would be so easy to go in there and climb into his bed. Kera knew he still wanted her. In all honesty, she wanted him too.
Her side cramped, and she rolled back, thoughts spinning inside her head as a knot of need gnawed at her belly. Her body responded to the thoughts, her nipples tightening and warmth spreading within her. She groaned. “This is such a bad time to be feeling these things.”
Rolling again, she grabbed the spare pillow, shoved it in front of her, and tried to rest against the downy softness. Her hip protested, and she rolled back once more, more than a little aggravated at her body, herself, and most of all her thoughts. She flung her arm over her face and prayed for respite from the feelings churning within her. How long could she keep up the stoic attitude if her own body kept betraying her?
“I need a drink.” Swinging her legs over the side of the bed, she padded to the door and headed to the small kitchen. She had stationed the guards outside the suite, so she was startled to see the light shining.
Kera slid her hand to her hip, and she realized she wasn’t wearing her pistol. She damned herself a thousand types of fool while scanning the room for a weapon. A large paperweight caught her eye. Hmm, that should be enough to act as a cosh. She plucked it up, testing its heft.
Kera snuck through the doorway and cast a quick glance around, only to drop the paperweight. It hit the floor, clattering before smashing into shards.
“Gustav! What in Eshra’s name are you doing?” She kicked herself mentally as she took in the glass of milk and plated sandwich he held—or had held until he jumped. The dish fell to the floor, smashing on the tiles and mixing with the shards of the paperweight.
“Barsha! Kera! What are you doing up?” He reached down to pick up the mess scattered across the floor. The door burst open, and the security guards entered, laser pistols ready to fire.
“It’s all right, men. The admiral wanted a midnight snack and then dropped the plate.” She smiled as she hunkered down onto the floor, helping him collect the broken shards and bits of food, noting when the door closed again.
As they tidied up, she let her gaze scan him. In his nightclothes, he looked better than ever. The shirt pulled tight over his defined chest, and the drawstring pants meant his heated flesh was only a single tug away. The urge to pull him closer and investigate those lean lines raced like quicksilver thrumming in her veins. Kera clenched her fingers against the need curling in her belly.
“So Gustav, you hungry?”
His eyes flashed before roaming over her body, and for one second she saw the desire in them as his nostrils flared. “Something like that. What about you?” His blue eyes captured her attention.
“I couldn’t sleep. Thought I might grab a drink.” She was aware she only wore light clothing and no underwear. The thin shirt shifted over her nipples, causing them to constrict and the nubs to become more sensitive. She knew he watched them through the shirt. Her pants itched with the soft material sliding over her aroused flesh.
“I’ll make you a drink. What do you want?” His voice was gravelly, and the muscles at the side of his face ticked.
“Actually, I think a glass of wine wouldn’t go astray right now.”
He smiled, and her heart tripped in her chest. “Sounds like a plan. Why don’t you go through to the living area and I’ll bring them in.”
Padding away, she went into the living room and sank into one of the seats. Gustav followed her quickly, carrying two glasses of blood-red wine.
“Here.” He handed her one, and she gratefully accepted the cool crystal then took a small sip. The smooth liquid slid over her tongue with an explosion of flavors.
“You always knew how to pick a good wine or three. This one is nice. Peppery.” She smiled at him and set her glass down. “Look, we need to sort this mess out between us.”
He nodded. “You’re right, of course. I want you, and you want me. So, where’s the problem, apart from some very poor choices on my part in the past? Which, I might add, I most sincerely regret.”
Kera closed her eyes. A rustling sound came from nearby as she inhaled deeply. “I don’t think we should—”
His lips touched hers, cutting off her words. When she opened her eyes he leaned away from her. How did he move so fast?
“That one is just the teaser. I want the whole dessert.” Gustav leaned in again, sweeping his arms around her, and Kera arched into his touch. His mouth opened over hers and—heavens preserve her—she opened to his searching tongue. Sparks of electricity raced between them. It felt like coming home and ecstasy all at once as every nerve quivered with hunger.
She moaned as the kiss deepened. Slid her hands up his shoulders, fingertips gliding over his skin, and she felt the muscles ripple beneath her questing touch. His fingers burrowed under the back of her shirt, skating over bare skin, causing her to quiver with sensation.
Gustav pulled away slightly, raining tiny kisses over her face and neck. A haze of desire settled over her, filling her body with warmth. Her breasts ached and moisture pooled between her legs, making her squirm.
“I’ve wanted you for so long, Kera. Let me touch you,” he groaned. The words stopped her cold, and sanity rose.
“No.” She pushed him away, although her body continued to betray her with the heave of her chest and her nipples budded under her shirt. “We can’t. No.” Her voice was husky, and she took in his heavy lids over somnolent eyes. The rapid rise and fall of his chest filled her sight.
He opened his mouth, but she cut him off, laying a finger on his lips. He sucked it into his mouth, causing a frisson of sensual excitement to thrum through her system.
“Neither of us is thinking clearly at the moment,” she said. “To be fair, after last time, I want to be sure I’ve considered all the aspects fully before I agree to anything.”
He growled low in his throat, letting go of her finger. “I need you to forgive and accept me, Kera.”
“Gustav, this isn’t about forgiveness or acceptance. This thing between us is bigger than that. It’s about being prepared and honest—with ourselves and each other. We both made mistakes last time.” The words tumbled forth, and she felt the lightening of her spirit as she spoke. “I should have stayed. Should have told you what happened and not run away when I realized you didn’t remember. And you should have told me or asked me what happened.” She shook her head as he gazed at her. Judging by the arrested expression on his face, he was stunned by her short speech. She waited, hoping he would understand what she was trying to say.
“Then, what do you want from me?”
“I want us both on the same page, and I need you to commit fully this time. Until you can do that, we can’t be together. There’s too much history, doubt, and hurt for either of us to do anything else.”
He nodded silently, and she hoped he understood.
“I’m going to retire. I suggest you do the same so we’ll be ready for whatever arises in the morning.” She murmured the words and reached for her glass as he moved back, allowing her to stand. Kera softly smiled at him before she turned and headed to the bedroom. It was certainly going to be a long night.