Civilized Woman

The women who walk down Oxford Street

Have bird-like faces and brick-like feet;

Floppity flop go ‘tens’ and ‘elevens’

Of Eesiphit into D. H. Evans.

The women who walk down Oxford Street

Suffer a lot from nerves and heat,

But with Bovril, Tizer and Phospherine

They may all become what they might have been.

They gladly clatter with bag in hand

Out of the train from Metroland,

And gladly gape, when commerce calls,

At all the glory of plate-glass walls,

And gladly buy, till their bags are full,

‘Milton’ cleaner and ‘Wolsey’ wool,

‘Shakespeare’ cornflour, a ‘Shelley’ shirt,

‘Brighto’, ‘Righto’ and ‘Moovyerdirt’.

Commerce pours on them gifts like rain;

Back in Metroland once again,

Wasn’t it worth your weary feet—

The colourful bustle of Oxford Street?