The ’Varsity Students’ Rag

I’m afraid the fellows in Putney rather wish they had

The social ease and manners of a ’varsity undergrad,

For tho’ they’re awf’lly decent and up to a lark as a rule

You want to have the ’varsity touch after a public school.

  CHORUS:

    We had a rag at Monico’s. We had a rag at the Troc.,

    And the one we had at the Berkeley gave the customers quite a shock.

    Then we went to the Popular, and after that—oh my!

    I wish you’d seen the rag we had in the Grill Room at the Cri.

I started a rag in Putney at our Frothblower’s Branch down there;

We got in a damn’d old lorry and drove to Trafalgar Square;

And we each had a couple of toy balloons and made the hell of a din,

And I saw a bobby at Parson’s Green who looked like running us in.

  CHORUS: We, etc.

But that’s nothing to the rag we had at the college the other night;

We’d gallons and gallons of cider—and I got frightfully tight.

And then we smash’d up ev’rything, and what was the funniest part

We smashed some rotten old pictures which were priceless works of art.

  CHORUS: We, etc.

There’s something about a ’varsity man that distinguishes him from a cad:

You can tell by his tie and blazer he’s a ’varsity undergrad,

And you know that he’s always ready and up to a bit of a lark,

With a toy balloon and a whistle and some cider after dark.

  CHORUS: We, etc.