The Story Is in the Sex
ON THE SURFACE, Fifty Shades of Grey is about the struggle between Ana’s desire for emotional intimacy (“more”) with Christian, and his desire for the security and distant that he gets from dominating his partners. Ana sees Christian’s need for control as being the opposite of her desire for love. He is “in the dark”; she wants to bring him “into the light.” To Ana, “dark” means sad, angry, controlling, emotionally distant, while “light” represents love, happiness, and interdependency. But Ana is in for a big surprise: Christian isn’t the only one with a dark side. Ana, who is so innocent at the beginning of the story that she has never even masturbated, is completely unaware of her sexual self. She insists that she isn’t submissive and doesn’t enjoy sexual bondage or pain, but her thoughts and reactions during sex tell us a different story. The battle between “light” and “dark” takes place within Ana herself as she is forced to confront and finally embrace the “dark, carnal place” within her own psyche.
Although Ana and Christian spend a lot of time talking about sex, including contracts, hard and soft limits, and “debasement,” they don’t get physical until chapter 8. Because Ana is a virgin who has never had an orgasm, this is her introduction to sexual pleasure of any kind. In spite of Christian’s claim that he doesn’t “make love” but “fucks hard,” he takes things pretty slow with Ana. Sure, it’s hot, but compared to what they’ve discussed so far, it’s pretty tame. Christian even follows the stepwise progression that we all know from the baseball metaphor. They’ve already kissed, in the elevator, so he started out with a single. He fondles her breasts (second base), stimulates her clitoris (third base), and they have intercourse (score for Christian!). Hell, the first time they do it is in the missionary position, which is about as “vanilla” as one can get. The second time he takes her from behind, which is a little more adventurous but hardly the kink he threatened (promised?) earlier. He then surprises them both by sleeping with her, something he has never done with any of his previous partners.
Ana clearly enjoys sex with Christian (who wouldn’t?) but has trouble letting go and giving herself over to what she feels. She tries to keep her breathing “under control,” but the sensations Christian provokes are “disordered, chaotic.” Her thoughts continue on a similar path through the early scenes (chapters 8 through 12). Her words give the impression that she is not acting but reacting, not experiencing but observing something happening outside herself. Everything is described in the third person, like someone else is in control: “my breasts press into his hands” (instead of “I press my breasts into his hands”), “my body resonates,” “my body writhes.”
The next day Christian ups the ante sexually, introducing Ana to light bondage with the infamous gray silk tie. When he brings her to orgasm while her hands are bound, she is not only out of control physically, but emotionally and mentally as well, losing “all sense of self” and “all cogent thought.” Christian restrains Ana again after she sends him an email saying, “Okay, I’ve seen enough.” This time he not only binds her hands but also loops the tie through her bedpost so she can’t even touch him. Here, Ana seems to be losing the struggle for control for her own body: “I fight my body as it tries to arch in response,” “My hips flex automatically,” “my body bucks beneath his expert fingers,” “I’m helpless, lost in an erotic torment.”
What Ana Really Wants
For the first third of the book, Ana is relatively passive in the sexual scenes. Not because she’s supposed to be submissive (she’s not very good at that), but because she’s just too inexperienced to know what she wants. In fact, she’s so sexually clueless that she can’t even recognize that the sensations and emotions she feels during sex are reflections of her own sexual needs, not just reactions provoked by Christian’s expertise. But this starts to change in chapter 14. While Ana’s not yet fully aware of what she wants, her subconscious starts to make its desires known—like a taste for “kinky fuckery” like bondage and submission, in spite of what she claims.
How do we know this is Ana’s desire and not just something she’s willing to do to please Christian? She dreams about it. In her dream, Christian brings her to orgasm with a riding crop while she is completely restrained. Although Christian is the actor here, it’s Ana’s fantasy. Or maybe her subconscious has really come out to play. In her sleep, Ana can’t hide from her desires, she can’t distance herself from what she wants—and what she wants to do is submit, to be at Christian’s mercy while he pleasures her with the kinds of toys she has seen in his playroom. After being introduced to sex by a master, Ana’s sexual self is emerging—and it is kinky!
If the earlier scenes revealed Ana’s desire for submission, the spanking scene (chapter 16) starts exploring the sexual possibilities of pain and punishment. She is ambivalent at first and the feeling of being out of control returns. She’s clearly confused by her reactions, describing the spanking as “demeaning and scary and hot.” Again, she distances herself: he “makes” her feel this way and she’s unwilling to take responsibility for what she feels: “my traitorous body explodes in an intense, body-shattering orgasm.”
Ana embraces the pain-pleasure of spanking when she and Christian play with the Ben Wa balls. In that scene, Christian pushes her to ask him for the spanking, demanding that she recognize that she wants it as well. She acknowledges her feelings when she says, “I’m lost in a quagmire of sensation” and admits that the pain is not only “manageable,” but “yes, pleasurable.”
Ana starts to embrace her own desires, which in turn helps Christian become the partner she needs. When she submits to him sexually, Christian is able to relax his need for total control outside the bedroom and emotional intimacy develops between them. Ironically, as Ana gives over control to Christian in bed, she stops describing her feelings and reactions as being out of control or overwhelming.
Ana has come a long way from the inexperienced girl who fell to her knees in Christian’s office. When they have sex on Christian’s desk (chapter 21), Ana is the aggressor. She is no longer the naïve girl who believed that love was only “hearts and flowers”: “This is not making love, this is fucking—and I love it.” She can acknowledge her own feelings and desire—not just love but lust: “It’s so raw, so carnal, making me so wanton. I revel in his possession, his lust slaking mine.”
Ana Embraces the Dark
The two sex scenes that take place in the hotel in Georgia show how far Ana has come. First, Christian decorates the bathroom with candles—an example of the “more” that Ana wanted (and that Christian insisted he didn’t do). Christian is still in charge, of course, and tells her what to do (“Put your hair up,” “Lift your arms”). This time, Ana doesn’t hesitate or second-guess her own actions—she just does it. Because she is becoming more comfortable with herself sexually, she is able to “ignore [her] natural inclination to cover [herself up].”
Christian caresses Ana while holding her hands so that she is really touching herself. Since Ana has never masturbated, this is a first—learning to give herself pleasure. Her thoughts make it seem like he is in control: “I am a marionette and he is the master puppeteer,” but she’s the one doing the touching. Her pleasure is truly in her own hands.
Christian takes Ana from behind, standing up. He is physically in control but Ana has learned that there is a difference between submission and passivity: “I grip on to the sink, panting, forcing myself back on him.” Afterward, Ana acknowledges the depths of her own desire when she wonders if she will ever get enough of him.
The scene in the hotel bathtub (chapter 23) is a major turning point. Physically, Christian is in charge: “He clasps his hands on either side of my head and kisses me. Deeply. Possessing my mouth. Angling my head … controlling me.” Her response? “I’m kissing him back and saying I want you, too, the only way I know how.” He is in control and she knows it. She accepts that possession is “what he likes … [and] what he’s so good at.” At first, he holds her hands but later when she asks he lets go and pleads with her not to touch him. This is huge. Previously, Christian held Ana’s hands not because he liked restraining her (okay, not only for that reason), but because he has a phobia about being touched in certain places. Now, however, he can let go because he trusts her to respect his boundaries. She is no longer “out of control” during their sexual encounters—she has acknowledged her needs and can rein herself in enough to respect his needs as well. As before, there is no language about losing herself or being overwhelmed. She understands and welcomes what is happening: “I am starting to recognize this delicious tightening … quickening.”
How does Christian respond to these changes in Ana? When they’re back at his apartment (chapter 25) it’s his control that “unravels,” and when he comes, he groans “incoherently.” Because Ana is meeting him in the giving and taking of pleasure Christian can let go and allow himself to lose control. She has also come to see the pleasure of BDSM, describing the feel of his thrusts as “punishing” and “heavenly” in the same sentence.
The climax of Ana and Christian’s sexual arcs come in the final sex scene, which takes place in the playroom, which Ana refers to now as the “Red Room of … Pain … or Pleasure.” Kneeling by the door, she is “excited, aroused, wet.” She no longer thinks his desires are something evil, to be changed: “This is so … I want to think wrong, but somehow it’s not. It’s right for Christian.” (And evidently for her, too, since she’s turned on and he’s not even there yet!) She gives herself over to Christian completely, recognizing that submission brings both of them pleasure. She is tied spread-eagle to the bed, totally vulnerable as in her dream/fantasy, blindfolded, unable to even hear his movements.
Sex and Love in Shades of Grey
In the beginning of the novel, Ana equated Christian’s desires and need of control as being “in the dark” and pledged to save him by bringing him into the “light.” Now she has discovered that darkness within herself and learned to embrace it. Her desire while she is waiting is “dark and tantalizing.” When he begins to flog her, she is “dragged in to a dark, dark part of [her] psyche,” and realizes that she’s “entered a very dark, carnal place.”
Ana has come a long way from viewing the world in black and white. By opening her mind and body to new sexual experiences, she has come to see that love and pleasure come in many shades of grey.
JOY DANIELS writes erotic romance because she likes to expose her characters completely—strengths, flaws, and scars. Before turning her attention to love and lust, Joy studied oceanography and spent her days trying to save the world one fish at a time. She writes and grows veggies in the Washington, D.C., area with her scientist husband and two curious kids. Since moving south of the Mason-Dixon line, Joy has developed passions for NASCAR and country music and both feature prominently in her stories. She is currently working on a Nashville novel, and her debut novella, Revving Her Up, will be released by Samhain in January 2013. She can be found online at www.authorjoydaniels.com and @authorjdaniels.