Chapter 26

Oscar’s family was back home in Doggsylvania, huddled around their television set, watching the gripping news story on TV.

“The dogg’s name is Oscar,” the ferret reporter said to the camera. “He has been missing now for two days. Lost in the woods. Battling the elements. Frightened by every sound he hears, every shadow he sees. His tail, no doubt, permanently tucked between his legs.”

The screen filled with Oscar’s most recent class picture, the one where his eyes were closed and his tongue was hanging out of his mouth.

“That’s my boy!” said his father, Duke.

“Oh, Duke!” whined his mother. “Will we ever see that sweet, sweet smile again?”

“Sure, we will, Lola,” said Duke. “We’ll get the picture back. I just loaned it to the ferret so she could show it on TV.”

“That’s not what I meant, Duke!” blubbered Oscar’s mother. “What if Oscar never comes home?”

“Aw, don’t give yourself kennel cough, Lola! That freaky hawkowl promised us she’d find our boy. Plus, they have those crocodile-lions and grizzly wolves.”

“Can I have his toys?” said Fifi.

“What?”

“While Oscar is missing or lost or whatever, can I have his toys? Most of his still have their squeakers.”

When Fifi said that, Oscar’s mother howled so loudly, all the neighbors heard it and immediately joined in.

“Now look what you’ve done, Fifi,” said Duke. “You made your mother so sad, she started a howl fest. This could go on all night.”

Fifi rolled her eyes. “They usually do. May I please be excused? I want to go curl up in a ball and take a nap.”

“But they’re talking about your brother on TV,” sniffled her mom.

“I know. That’s why I need to take a nap. Borrrring.”

“You stay right here young lady and … grrrrrrrr!

” Duke’s attention snapped back to the TV screen. So did Fifi and Lola’s. Now the ferret was interviewing that snooty katt family, the one with the missing daughter.

“I’m here with Boomer Hissleton the Third, Esquire,” said the reporter. “You’re the father of the missing katt, Molly, is that correct?”

“Indeed.”

“How do you feel about your daughter being lost in the woods with her sworn enemy, a dogg?”

“How do you think I feel? Horrible. Ghastly. Sickened. Oh, the horror! Lost in the forest while a fiendish mutt is on the prowl. It’s unimaginably horrific!”

“That snobby katt makes me want to chase my tail until I catch it!” said Duke.

“I hope Oscar chases that stupid katt up a tree,” said Fifi.

“I agree,” said Lola. “It’s the katt’s fault that our Oscar is missing.”

“Um, how’s that work, Mom?” asked Fifi.

“Simple. The katt did it first. She was missing before Oscar.”

Duke arched an eyebrow. “Lola?” he snarled. “Did you just call our son a copykatt?”

“Oh, dear. I did, didn’t I? I’m so, so sorry.” She tilted back her head and howled.

And once again, the whole neighborhood joined in.