Chapter 16

 

Following an impromptu tour of Shakespeare’s Globe theatre, Gwen and Crispin resumed walking alongside the River Thames. While Crispin remained rather quiet and pensive, Gwen couldn’t keep from talking. In fact, she was babbling quite happily about anything and everything they had seen so far and how much she was looking forward to seeing more during their trip. She was so distracted that she hadn’t noticed how dark it had gotten. By the time they passed London’s impressive city hall and reached the magnificently lit up sight of Tower Bridge, it was pitch black out.

“Everything okay, Crispin?” she asked, having stopped talking long enough to feel self-conscious of her ramblings. Perhaps her nattering was getting on his nerves, she wondered. This was so unlike her. She was usually so quiet and withdrawn. Rarely did she feel comfortable enough to speak to people, let alone go on and on. At least, he hadn’t let go of her hand the entire time they had walked. That in itself gave her hope that he hadn’t minded her constant chatter. “I don’t know what’s gotten into me. I’ll be quiet now.”

He tilted his head in her direction and chuckled. She sensed his eyes on her and she smiled to herself. For a moment there was silence but for the sound of their footsteps on the pavement. Giving her hand a squeeze, he led her toward the river’s edge until they stood against the rail. He stood behind her and caged her within his arms, facing the water. They stood there for an unmarked stretch of time without speaking, simply taking in the sights. They watched a few river buses and boats pass. Across from them was the infamous Tower of London which is best known for its use as a prison back in the day.

Although they were far from being alone with all the people milling about, within the comforting walls of Crispin’s arms, it kind of felt like it was just the two of them standing there observing the goings on. Just when she thought things couldn’t get any better, he leaned in closer, wrapped his arms around her shoulders, and rested his forearms against the rail.

When she tensed at his unexpected but most welcome boldness, he smoothed his cheek against hers and smiled lazily out the side of his mouth. As he drew back, he nuzzled his nose along the soft skin by her ear and planted a trail of gentle kisses on her neck. Gwen didn’t know quite what to think about all this but then again, thinking of any sort was impossible with Crispin’s warm lips against her ear, his arms around her upper half, his scent surrounding her, the slow subtle press of his thighs against her backside. It was a good thing he was holding her so tightly or she might just crumple to the ground at the sensations he was stirring up in her belly.

She wanted nothing more than to reach for him but in her present position with his arms locked around her, she was basically trapped, her hands useless.

“Tell me about yourself,” he whispered in her ear, resting his chin on her shoulder. When she hesitated, he kissed her cheek and then the corner of her mouth. The moment she turned her face to receive more, he ever so subtly pulled away. “Tell me something first.”

“I get a kiss for telling you what, exactly?” she asked with a shy smile.

“A little something about yourself.” He pressed his lips into the side of her neck. “For everything you tell me, you get a kiss.” At his words, she smiled all the more. She was glad for the cover of darkness for she was sure her cheeks were burning with anticipation of more of his sweet kisses. Crispin surprised her with his unexpected affectionate nature. It was in such contrast to his cool exterior. Who would have imagined it?

“I’m not sure what to say or where to start.”

“Start with where you work.”

“The jewellery shop?” When he nodded, she took a deep breath and opened up. “It’s my uncle’s shop. When I… quit university, he was kind enough to offer me a full-time job and a place to live. I rent the apartment above the shop which is nice and convenient.” When she paused, Crispin came through with his promise and kissed her high on her cheek, near her ear.

“Continue…” he whispered. “What did you study in school? When did you leave and why?”

She hesitated to answer but the promise of another one of his kisses prompted her. “I majored in English Literature. Then just this past fall… I um… I just… I woke up one day and I just couldn’t do it. The pressure, the stress of keeping up, I couldn’t take it anymore. I wish I wasn’t like this. I wish I was stronger but everyday things, situations… well, it just gets to be too much.” She paused, overwhelmed by the feelings her admission stirred up inside her. “I wanted so much to finish my education. My dream was to become a writer, an author of novels. I even wanted to open a bookstore someday. But with the way I am… well, I just don’t think it’s possible.” Admitting defeat to her anxiety was never easy. What would Crispin think of her? Would he think she was crazy? Or would he see her as weak, a coward unable to deal with the most mundane everyday things?

“Continue.” He tightened his comforting vice-like hold on her and kissed her slightly lower on the cheek two times.

She leaned into his kiss and drew strength from it. “Working at the shop is okay, though. For some reason, I can handle it. Although even then there are some days…”

“When did this start?” He kissed her once more. “How long have you felt this way?”

“I’m not sure exactly when, but as for why…”

“Why then?” He kissed the corner of her mouth again.

“We moved around a lot when I was growing up because of my father’s job. I’m an only child and I had trouble making friends. Actually, I never had much of a chance at forming many friendships since we moved around so much. I was never in a school longer than two years at a time. Just when I’d get comfortable, we’d up and move away to another place. Then I’d have to start all over again. After a while, I just gave up trying to make new friends. You know how it is when you’re the new kid in school. Always the outsider. It went on like that until three years ago when I turned nineteen and went off to university.”

At her words, Crispin frowned, realizing that despite the different circumstances, how similar a childhood they’d had.

“You think I’m weird, don’t you?” she asked, looking away from him.

He took her chin in his hand and turned her head towards him. He waited until she looked into his eyes. “I do,” he said with a smile. Before she could pull away, he kissed her, this time, on the mouth with lips so stunningly soft she nearly swooned. After a good long while, he drew away and gazed at her. “Refreshingly weird, and I like it. I like it a lot.”