Chapter 33

 

Gwen ran as fast as she could, her heart in her throat. She had gotten so caught up in what Piers had said to fully consider Crispin’s feelings. It must have been an awful blow to learn of his mother’s experience. She had been so fascinated by the news of the bracelet, so excited to discover that he had originated here, in England, the land of her dreams, in a Manor House of places, that she hadn’t understood the reason for his hostile reaction until now. So blinded by regret, she raced for the parking lot, only to find him waiting by the car.

“Oh, Crispin!” She flung her arms around him and pressed her face to his chest. She should have never doubted him. He hadn’t left without her. He hadn’t abandoned her, even though she felt she deserved it. “I thought you’d left me here.”

With his arms lightly around her, he chuckled. “Here I thought you trusted me.” He had almost taken off, but by the time he reached the parking lot, he had calmed down enough to come to his senses.

“I do trust you,” she said, catching her breath.

“Then why would you think I would have abandoned you?” With his hands on her shoulders, he set her away from him and walked around to his car door. Letting himself in, he waited for her to join him before driving off.

As Crispin drove, he felt the tension of the last couple of hours finally leave his system. The more distance between Harlow Manor and himself, the better, in his opinion. Aware of Gwen’s unease, he reached out and rested a hand on her knee. Again, none of this was her fault, and he shouldn’t have lashed out at her. He couldn’t blame her for her excitement at the prospect that he could come from such a place as Harlow Manor. After all, he knew all about her fascination with books like Wuthering Heights and Jane Eyre. This must be pure magic for her.

What would happen, he wondered, when the magic wore off and reality set in? Would she still want him when she found out he had no desire to pursue any form of future or ties with this ungodly place? All he wanted now, was to get through the next couple of days before getting the hell out of England and back to Canada, to the House of Goths, for however long he was welcome, and to forget he ever came here.

Not having much appetite, they went straight to bed that night. With his heart heavy, he didn’t even protest when Gwen cuddled into him, her arm tight around his shoulders, her head on his chest. She must have sensed his desire for quiet since she didn’t utter a word all night. He hadn’t expected to want her so close after learning so much. Yet he did. When he had first stormed out of the manor, he wanted nothing more than to be by himself. But by the time he reached the car, he realized he needed her more than ever.

When she startled in her sleep from a bout of anxiety, as he had come to expect, he simply rolled her over onto her belly and settled himself on top of her. “I’m here and I will never leave you,” he whispered in her ear, brushing his lips on her cheek. Seconds later, she drifted off again and he smiled to himself. If only everything in life were so simple.

 

***

 

At Breakfast, the next morning, Gwen couldn’t help but wonder at Crispin’s curious good mood. He had woken her up, made love to her rather thoroughly, given her a playful smack on the butt before showering, getting dressed, and telling her to hurry up. They had much sightseeing to do before the end of their trip.

He hadn’t said a word about what he had learned yesterday and she was hesitant to bring it up. “You’re awfully happy today,” she said as she followed him back to their room to gather their things for the day. “Not very Goth of you.”

“Why wouldn’t I be happy? One more day of sightseeing before we get the hell out of here and back to normal life. What more could I want?”

“Crispin? You know, we don’t have to go to Stonehenge or Salisbury today.”

“Why not? It’s listed on your itinerary, highlighted in pink no less. Obviously, it is of great importance to you. And that is what we are here to do. To see all those things on your list.”

“Well, I mean, given the circumstances, I would fully understand if you’d rather spend the day with your uncle Piers at Harlow Manor.”

“Why the fuck would I want to do that?”

“Well, because we fly back tomorrow.”

“Thank God for that,” he scoffed as he walked out the door. And there it was, the old familiar prickly Goth had returned. With a shake of her head, Gwen grabbed her camera and followed.

As he sat entering the directions into the GPS, Gwen felt compelled to try again. “Crispin, we should spend the day with Piers.” When he sat up, closed his eyes and breathed deeply, she steeled herself and forged on. “You’ll only regret it if you don’t. We can always come back another time and sightsee. Here, he gave me his card. Call him direct. He’s waiting to hear from you.”

“God, Gwen, can we not just let this go? I’ve already heard everything and none of it makes me feel better. In fact, it hurts all the more.”

Watching his resolve and false bravado melt away, Gwen almost gave in, but deep down she knew he should face whatever bothered him. If he left things the way they were, he would only be cheating himself. “Just give him the morning to tell you whatever it is he needs to say. Obviously, he’s suffered here too. He lost his sister. He’s all alone as are you. I’m sure he just wants to make amends to your mother through you. Let’s just give him a chance to put all this behind him.”

“Fine, he can have an hour or two of our time,” Crispin said with determination. “But nothing more, and he better not expect anything from me. I’m not much into family reunions.”

 

***

 

When they arrived at Harlow Manor, instead of using the main driveway, Piers had advised them on the phone to use the private entrance, located off the main road further south. To anyone who passed, it appeared more like a maintenance entry.

This driveway led up to the private apartments away from the main house that was open for tourism. While it wasn’t as grand, Gwen found the garden leading up to the house to be quite stunning. Jones greeted them and led them around to the patio where Piers waited. He greeted them with a brilliant smile and nodded in appreciation to Gwen. He was sure if not for her, Crispin would not have come. The scowl on his handsome nephew’s face was evidence enough.

“I’m so glad you came back, dear boy.” He gestured for Crispin and Gwen to sit at a table. “Jones, I believe tea is in order.”

“I’d rather coffee,” Crispin said as he held out Gwen’s chair. “She’ll have the tea, earl grey.”

“Crispin, it’s not important. Whatever you have is fine.”

“Are you kidding me?” Crispin snarked. “Look at this place. What don’t they have?”

“Yes, of course, Master Crispin,” said Jones with a slight bow of his head. “Anything you wish.”

“Master Crispin, indeed,” Piers said with a quirk of his brow.

Gwen couldn’t help but notice how handsome and distinguished both her male companions were. Crispin in his Victorian splendour of head to toe black, Piers in a grey morning coat fitted to perfection and matching slacks. Clearly, the man came from money, a bone of contention for Crispin, obviously, from the few comments he had already made. Gwen braced herself for whatever he might say.

“Well, whatever is you feel the need to talk about, make it quick,” Crispin said. “We have plans.”

“Plans?” Piers asked.

“Oh, you know, touristy stuff,” Gwen explained lightly. “Stonehenge, Salisbury Cathedral.”

“Ah, yes, of course,” said Piers. “Right then, I’ll get straight to the point.”

“Good,” Crispin agreed.

“It’s about the house, Crispin,” said Piers.

“What about it?”

“Well, it is yours as well as the rest of your inheritance. I’m glad you’re here so you can finally lay claim to your share.”

“I don’t want anything to do with this place!” Crispin said with a scowl. “Or the money. Did you think you could throw money at me and make everything all right? Not bloody likely.”

“Seriously, you’re aiming your anger at the wrong relative. I am not your enemy. I have not wronged you. I simply want to make you aware of what’s yours. In fact, it’s all taken care of. You see, I’ve already arranged it with the lawyers, but just to be sure, I wanted to tell you in person of your options. So even if you don’t want your part today, it’ll eventually be yours when I kick off.”

“The fuck does that mean?”

“Oh, don’t worry, I don’t plan on dying anytime soon. But you see, I have no interest in marrying or having children of my own either. I quite enjoy living the life of the eccentric bachelor. Now that I’ve finally met you, my dear nephew, I am assured to have an heir, someone to leave all this. I’m sure Jones is relieved as well. With you here, he won’t have to worry about his employment. You see, I had almost given up on finding you, and quite frankly, I’m tired of having to come here to look after the old place. Too many memories and not many of them good. After Cassandra died, the place just wasn’t the same. Besides, I’d much rather spend my days in sunny Spain at my villa there. I would have placed the old house in the hands of the National Trust had you not shown up when you did. ”

“So, you expect me to just stay here and look after all this? I don’t know anything about running a Manor House. Why the hell would I do that?”

“Not necessarily, I mean with the staff already in place, all you’d need to do is show up now and then. Spend a few weeks here once in a while. Maybe a month or two to take care of any bills or paperwork required. The ticket sales from tourists pretty much cover the cost of running the house. Anyway, why not? Think of it as a place to spend your holidays now and again. With you here, I might even stop in and visit at Christmas. It would be nice having family at Christmastime again,” he added wistfully. “If you choose so, you could even live here year round. The point is, it’s yours, Crispin. I’m done with it.”

“Wow!” Gwen blurted excitedly. “How wonderful!”

“Wonderful? How so, exactly?” Crispin stared at her in bewilderment until the reason became perfectly clear. “Oh, I get it! This is your dream come true, isn’t it, Gwen?” He growled at her, unimpressed. “You forget one thing, sweetheart. I want nothing to do with this!” He paused, measuring her reaction. “How do you like me now?”

Gwen physically flinched at the venom in Crispin’s tone. His reaction shocked her and hurt her feelings. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean…” she started to apologize but paused when she didn’t know what exactly she was supposed to be sorry for. In fact, she felt quite indignant at the accusation in Crispin’s words. Did he really believe she was more interested in the old house than in him?

“Besides, we leave for Canada tomorrow,” he continued. “Have you forgotten that small detail? Even if I decide to take this despicable place on, where would that leave you?” He didn’t know why he said that and he regretted it the second the words left his mouth. He just couldn’t fathom why everyone was so thrilled with the idea of him suddenly taking on this role of Lord of the Manor. Did Piers and Gwen forget he had spent his entire life as a penniless orphan? Did they expect him to be so grateful for his sudden wealth to forget the sorrows he had endured? Not bloody likely!

All three stilled when Jones returned with the beverages. Not only until he left did Crispin start up again, only to be shut down by Gwen’s words. “Excuse me, Piers. Would it be okay if I took a stroll through the garden?” Averting her eyes from Crispin, she stared blankly towards the flowers, attempting to stifle her rising emotions.

“Alone!” she added when he attempted to join her.

“Yes, of course,” Piers said as he stood, Crispin at his side, watching her walk away. When he attempted to follow, Piers held him back. “Let her be. She’ll be fine. You and I have important matters to discuss.”

“What part of I don’t want your money, don’t you understand?” Crispin said with a scowl. “You can’t fix this that easily. You don’t know the horrors I’ve endured growing up in foster care, the loneliness, the emptiness I’ve carried around.”

“No, I don’t and I’m sorry, truly I am, but please try to understand. I was powerless at the time. Now, I only want to do right by you, Crispin. This is your land, your house, your birthright. Your grandfather cheated you out of a comfortable life. He sent your mother off to God knows where all alone! It was his doing. Please, don’t hate me.”

“I don’t hate you. I hardly know you.”

“Well, let’s change that,” Piers said. “Stay on for a few weeks. We can get to know one another. Together, we can then come to an agreement on what to do with the old place.”

“Stay?” Crispin repeated.

“Yes, why not?”

“What about my commitments?”

“Oh come on,” Piers said with a dismissive chuckle. “How old are you? Twenty-two at the most? What have you got waiting that you can’t put off for a little while longer? Surely, whatever it is can wait.”

“How dare you?” Crispin frowned. “As far as my commitments are concerned, you don’t have a say. You have no idea what or who they involve. In fact, you know nothing about me.”

“You’re right and I would love to change that. I want nothing more than for us to get to know one another. Sit, tell me about yourself. What is it you’re about?”

“Fine, since you’re so keen.” With much reluctance, Crispin sat down once again. “I’m currently in university, I have one year until I graduate and I’ve got student loans to prove it. I’m also a singer-songwriter. I currently reside at the House of Goths with my friends and fellow bandmates. We have a tour lined up and ready to go at the end of the school year and I intend to see it all through. Therefore, I cannot simply fluff off my commitments to stay here.”

“Ah, a musician?” Piers nodded, impressed. “Is that what you’re studying?”

“No, I major in art with a minor in psychology. I have many talents and interests, but being Lord of the Manor isn’t one.”

Piers quirked an eyebrow. “Lord of the Manor… you make it sound so trite. But I suppose it can be if you let it. That’s why at an early age I decided to do what I wanted with my time. I’m not like my father. I don’t give a fuck about appearances and status. Much to his dismay, I too took an interest in the arts. The performing arts, specifically. Can you imagine the old man’s horror when I declared I wanted to be a stage actor? He thought I’d lost my mind. The old guy nearly had a heart attack. First, his daughter disappoints him, then his only son decides to make a public spectacle of himself.”

“Really?” Crispin asked, curious. “How did that turn out for you?”

“Well, in the end, the old bastard was right. I’m rubbish as an actor,” he said with a shrug. “Still, I enjoy the theatre. Only now as a spectator and a generous patron and investor. You know, with your newly acquired wealth, you can support your band all you want. The best part of the deal is, you never have to worry about money again. You can tour in style. Just don’t spend it all at once. Mind you, I wouldn’t worry about it too much. After all, you’re worth billions.”

“What the fuck?” Crispin swore.

“Oh, yes, make no mistake, you, my dear lad are a multi-billionaire. You can say goodbye to your student loans or any other type of debt you might have. If you’re curious, I can show you just how rich you are. We can go over the books whenever you’re ready.”

“Unbelievable…” Crispin muttered.

“Just think about it, Crispin. Stay a few more days. Send Gwen off ahead of you. She’ll understand. Tell her that you need time to figure things out.”

Crispin paled at the thought. “I… I can’t do that.”

“Sure you can,” Piers insisted. “You’ve only just started out as a couple, right? Obviously, there’s tension between you already. Maybe whatever this relationship you have can wait. Perhaps you might even reconsider it altogether.”

“What?”

“Listen, you’ve literally just gone from rags to riches. You now have the world at your fingertips. You don’t need to tie yourself down just yet. Enjoy life a little before you settle. This little love affair you have with Gwen, it doesn’t have to be it for you. Besides, how much do you really know about her? How do you know she’s not more interested in your money?”

“Watch your step, Piers,” Crispin warned.

“Come on, you saw her face just now. You heard her reaction to the news of your inheritance. It’s obvious she already sees herself as Lady of the Manor. If I were you, I’d be suspicious of her intentions. Trust me, I’m just looking out for you.”

Crispin couldn’t help but frown. “I don’t need you to look out for me! As you can see, I’ve taken care of myself my whole life. And as far as Gwen is concerned, you’d better back the hell off! I will not listen to your nonsense. You’re accusing her of being a gold-digger, yet she had no idea, prior to coming here that I was anyone of significance.”

“You’re absolutely right,” Piers quickly backtracked, having underestimated Crispin’s opinion of the girl. “Please, accept my apologies.”

“Damn right,” Crispin said. “And while I might consider your suggestion to stay on a few days, I don’t need your advice on my relationship with Gwen.”

“I’ve overstepped myself. Once again, I apologize. I’m sure Gwen is a lovely girl. I suppose I projected my own experiences onto your relationship. This is why I prefer bachelorhood. Forget what I said. Don’t let it get in the way of why you are here.”

“Why exactly am I here?” Crispin asked.

“To find yourself, I imagine,” Piers said pensively. “Surely, you must have wanted to know from whence you came? At least now you know the circumstances behind your unfortunate beginnings. But before you decide anything, maybe you should just have a look around, spend some time here on your own.”

“I have plans with Gwen. You and I are done for now.” Unable to sit still any longer, Crispin got up and made his way to her. She had spent enough time alone in the garden and he needed to apologize for having lashed out at her again. What was wrong with him, he wondered as he closed the distance between them. This place must be messing with his head and he was allowing it to affect him way too much. In a way, maybe Piers was right about him needing to be alone. In his current state of mind, he almost didn’t trust himself not to hurt her feelings.

Hearing his approach, Gwen turned and met his gaze with apprehension. “Crispin–” Before she could say another word, he wrapped his arms around her and held her tight.

“Forgive me, Gwen,” he said, resting his nose in her chestnut hair. “None of this is your fault, yet I’m taking my frustrations out on you.”

“It’s not about the house or the money for me, Crispin.”

“I know that,” he said into her hair. “I’m sorry I even went there. I don’t why I reacted that way.”

“You’re confused,” she said softly. “It’s a lot to take in all at once.”

“It’s got me all fucked up.” He chuckled at himself. “What the hell am I supposed to think? I wasn’t expecting all this.”

“Of course not,” she said, rubbing his back. “It’s not fair to expect you to just slide into this role. You need time to digest all this information.”

“Ahem…” Piers cleared his throat, interrupting their moment.

“Make it quick,” Crispin said over his shoulder. “Gwen and I have plans.”

“Oh, Crispin, we don’t have to go.” She drew away from him and smiled politely at Piers. “You should spend some time here on your own, to think things through before we fly back tomorrow.”

“But what about Stonehenge?” Crispin hesitated. “You were so excited to see it.”

“Let me take her out for the day,” Piers stepped forward and offered, catching them both off guard. “I agree with Gwen. You need to spend some time here alone, Crispin. Have a look around the place. Familiarize yourself with it. Let it all sink in. Jones will be more than happy to show you the grounds. Perhaps you’d like to see your mother’s room? Visit her gravesite?”

“I… I don’t know.” The more he heard, the more conflicted Crispin became. He was torn with what to do. He wanted to be with Gwen. But he also felt he needed to investigate this situation, to familiarize himself with his mother’s home, and to visit her final resting place.

“He’s right, Crispin,” she insisted, gazing into his eyes.

“You’ll be okay on your own?” he asked, unsure of himself.

“She won’t be on her own,” Piers insisted as he stepped forward. “I’ll take good care of her. What do you say, Gwen?”

While she was hesitant to go off without Crispin, Gwen truly believed time alone with his thoughts was what he needed most. Dragging him off sightseeing felt selfish all of a sudden. Tomorrow, they were to return to Canada. Surely, Crispin should stay here to learn as much as he could about his past before making a decision about his future.

“Gwen, just say the word and we’re out of here,” Crispin offered.

“No, Crispin, your uncle is right,” Gwen said with a reassuring smile. “You should spend the day here. I’ll be fine.”

“Of course, you will,” Piers declared. “Come along, Gwen. We should leave soon if we want to make it to both Stonehenge and Salisbury Cathedral today. There is a lot to see. I’ll just grab my car keys and be right back.”

Crispin and Gwen watched Piers go and then he turned to her once again. “I’m not sure I like the idea of you running off with that clown.”

Gwen could help the bubble of laughter at his choice of words. “Oh, Crispin! That’s your uncle you speak of.”

“Uncle or not, I still don’t like it. I’ll kill him if tries anything.” As much as he appreciated the time alone to think, he couldn’t shake the sense of foreboding that came over him.

“Crispin, he’s a perfect gentleman,” Gwen said, determined to set him at ease. “I’m sure.”

“Right, well, he just better watch his step,” Crispin grumbled. “Seriously, Gwen, I would have loved to go with you today. But in a way, I think you’re right. I think I need to spend the day here. If anything, I need get to know the place where my mother grew up.”

“Aww… Crispin, your poor mother. It breaks my heart to imagine what she must have gone through. So young… to be sent away from everyone and everything familiar to have her baby alone.”

Crispin winced at her words. “Stop it, please. This is hard enough for me as it is. Allow me some dignity. If I’m going to cry, I’d rather not have an audience,” he said, blinking back the moisture from his eyes.

“Oh, I’m sorry,” Gwen said with regret. “Now I no longer want to leave your side.”

“I’ll be fine, Gwen,” Crispin straightened at the sight of Piers’s return.

“Right then, shall we?” Piers said, standing a few feet behind them, dangling a set of car keys from his hand.

“Go on, I’ll see you later,” Crispin encouraged her, leaning in, giving her a kiss.

“I’ll miss you,” she whispered as he pulled away.

“Don’t make me change my mind,” he said with a pout.

“Gwen?” Piers interrupted, “Shall we?” He held out his arm.

“Very well, let’s,” Gwen said, looking one last time over her shoulder at Crispin before tucking her hand into the crook of the eager man’s elbow.

“See you later, Crispin,” Piers said. “Jones will be along any minute to point you in the right direction.”

“Wonderful…” Crispin muttered despondently.