Chapter 36

 

At his mother’s gravesite, Crispin sat slumped under the shade of an old oak tree, staring glassy-eyed at the humble headstone bearing her name. Just moments ago, it had hit him like a tidal wave, the grief, and it had knocked him off his feet. He had crumpled to the ground with the tree trunk at his back, his head in his hands. He hadn’t cried since he was a child, yet he couldn’t keep the tears from streaming down his cheeks.

Thoughts of his lonely young mother broke his heart and he silently begged her forgiveness for the years he spent blaming her for his unfortunate childhood. Despite their very different circumstances, he realized, they weren’t so different. Even though she’d had a father and a home such as this, she had grown up with little or no love and affection just like him. So much so, the lack of it had left her as vulnerable as he often felt. Crispin realized then, that rich or poor, surrounded by family or not, loneliness could be a terrible soul destroyer when neglect prevailed.

Not far from his mother’s headstone, he noticed a few more. One with his grandfather’s name. Another, he assumed belonged to his grandmother, Anne Harlow. Beyond those, were a few more bearing the surname Harlow. It was the strangest feeling to be in the presence of so many deceased ancestors after having believed he’d had none.

Focusing again on Cassandra Harlow’s gravestone, he noticed that besides her date of birth and death, there was no mention of a child. This gave him cause to ponder. Surely, if the old man had led everyone to believe both mother and baby had died during childbirth, wouldn’t he have buried the baby together with his mother, or at least made it look that way?

Just as he thought of this, approaching footsteps caught his attention and he stood up quick and pulled himself together. He had gotten distracted and time had gotten away from him. Hours had passed since he had been with Gwen and he missed her terribly. He couldn’t wait to see her. Knowing he now had her in his life, gave him strength throughout this ordeal. However grateful he was to finally know of his origins, his only hopes now were for a very different type of future.

Making sure to clear all evidence of tears, Crispin turned and frowned when he only saw Piers. Perhaps Gwen was tired and waited for him at the house, he thought to himself. Maybe she was having another cup of tea.

“I see you found the family cemetery,” Piers said, coming to his side. “Dreary place, isn’t it?”

“Uh, yes, I suppose. Question, though, why is there no mention of a child on my mother’s headstone?” Crispin inquired.

Piers hesitated with his answer. With a great sigh, he eventually spoke, “I asked him the same thing when I was old enough to know better. My father said it was for the sake of the family name. See, none other than Jones and his wife Iris were made aware of Cassandra’s pregnancy. Prior to her death, he informed everyone else that he had sent her to off to Canada to attend a private boarding school. So when she died, to save face and hide the shame, he kept the true cause of her death a secret. He simply made something up about her dying in a car accident overseas.”

“Bastard…” Crispin muttered.

“Agreed,” Piers said with a sigh. “Anyway, have you come to any decisions?”

Crispin frowned, irritated by Piers’s sudden change of subject. “About what exactly?”

“About staying on at Harlow Manor,” Piers said incredulously.

“The only thing I’ve decided is to go on with my life as normal,” Crispin explained.

“What does that mean?” Piers asked, confused.

“It means, before I commit to anything here, I intend to return to Canada and finish my education. I’m not saying I don’t want the place or the money, just that I need to look after my responsibilities first.”

“You can finish your education here in England at your choice of universities,” Piers suggested.

Crispin took a calming breath. For some reason, his uncle refused to listen, or more likely refused to respect his decisions. “Perhaps, but that’s not the point. Right now, I need to consider Gwen. I need to be with my friends. I have my commitment to the band.”

“Oh, come on, all that can wait.”

“Have you not heard a word I’ve said?” That was it, the last straw and Crispin’s patience snapped.

“Of course I have,” Piers insisted. “I just think you’re not looking at this the right way.”

“Are you fucking kidding me?”

“Not in the slightest. I am very serious,” Piers persisted. “And as far as Gwen’s concerned you no longer have to worry about her.”

“What?” Crispin gasped.

“Yes, I got rid of that little problem for you. In fact, she’s probably halfway home to Canada.”

“What the hell are you talking about?”

“Come on, you can thank me later. I’ll tell you what I told her. You’re too young, too rich and too handsome to tie yourself down to any one woman. What you need is time on your own to figure things out.”

“Time on my own?” Crispin glared at Piers as though he were insane. “That’s all I’ve ever had! Damn you.” Unable to hear anything else at that moment, Crispin stormed off towards the house.

“She’s not there! She’s gone. She took the bribe like the gold-digger I knew her to be and didn’t give it another thought!” Piers said, chasing after him.

Crispin came to an abrupt stop at his words. “What did you just say?”

“It’s all true. I paid her off and had a car sent for her.” He looked at his watch. “By now, she’s probably mid-flight to Canada on my private jet.”

“I don’t believe any of it! You’re full of shit. No wonder you were so eager to take her off for the day. I swear if you’ve hurt her–”

“I never laid a hand on her. I simply sent her on her way!”

“Bull shit! Gwen wouldn’t just leave.”

“Crispin, come on, think about it! This is where you belong. Okay, fine. Maybe I’m being a bit selfish. I want you here. Your place is here with me. We’re family, you and I. We should be together.”

“Is that what this is all about?” Crispin asked. “You want me to stay here just to keep you company?”

“Pathetic, I know. But it’s the truth. I can’t stay here on my own anymore,” Piers confessed. “That’s why I would rather hand the place over to the National Trust. But with you here, together we could be a family. Cassandra would approve. I’m sure she would want us to be together.”

Blinded with rage, Crispin hauled off and the next thing he knew, his fist connected with Piers’s jaw knocking him on his ass. “How dare you!” Crispin shouted, shaking his head. “You’re just like your father. Can’t you see what you’re doing?”

“Crispin?” Stupefied, Piers clasped his jaw and held up his other hand to ward off anymore blows. “I’m doing this for you, for us.”

“No! This is not happening!” Crispin spat with disgust. “This is real life, my life, and I refuse to play the part of a helpless fictional character from a tragic Victorian novel. This insanity ends here!”

 

Without a glance over his shoulder, Crispin sped off in the rental car. The only thing he could think about was getting to the B&B. Even though he refused to believe a word of what Piers had said, he needed to find Gwen, to see her, to confirm what he already knew. She would never have left without him. She would never have accepted a bribe. He couldn’t get there fast enough to prove it.

No way, would she have taken Piers’s money! The worst part was, he blamed himself for trusting him. He should never have let Piers take her for the day. As he gripped the steering wheel and stepped on the gas, he wondered what Piers might have said to Gwen. All sorts of horrendous scenarios ran amuck in his brain as he tried hard to focus on the road.

When he finally arrived, instead of running inside, Crispin hesitated, suddenly paralyzed with fear. What if she had left? What if she wasn’t who he thought she was? Could he survive knowing she had been so easily bought? None of it made sense, but then neither did anything all of a sudden.

With a heart filled with dread, and feet as heavy as lead, he put one foot in front of the other and made his way to their room. When he reached the door, his hand shook as he turned the key. He took a deep breath and prepared himself for the worst. Expecting to find no trace of Gwen, instead, he was hit with the full force of her body, her arms around his neck.

“Crispin! I knew you’d come for me.”

“Gwen?” Holding her tight, he took a moment to breathe her in before stepping back to gaze upon her. “You’re here. You didn’t leave.”

“I would never leave without you. Or at least talking to you first.”

Tugging her into him, he shut the door behind him with his foot and rested his back against it. They stood there for a good long while before he opened his eyes. Behind her, on the dresser, he saw what he assumed was a cheque. He slowly released her and made his way towards it. When he got close enough, he noticed it was torn in half, the pieces left beside each other.

“I tore it and would have flushed it down the toilet,” Gwen said at his side. “But then I stopped myself. I figured I should keep it to show you, just in case he denied it. In case you didn’t believe me. I know you have trust issues. I didn’t want to take any chances. Your uncle Piers is a manipulative bastard and I was afraid he might turn you against me. He offered me two million pounds to leave you. He said you were better off without me. That I’d be selfish to keep you tied down in a relationship with me. He said I wasn’t good enough for you.”

“Bastard…” Despite being pissed off at Piers, Crispin couldn’t help but smile at the anger in Gwen’s voice. The sight of the cute little scowl on her face as she spoke of her ordeal warmed his heart. “What did you say to him?”

“I told him he was full of shit! But by then he’d driven away and didn’t hear me. I was too stunned at first. I wish I could have found my voice. I would have told him to stuff his money up his ass! How dare he? What was he–”

Crispin could hold back any longer, and he cut her off with a kiss of gratitude and admiration. “Who the fuck cares?” he gasped when he drew away for a second to gaze upon her face. “I’m so proud of you. I love you, Gwen, and that’s all that matters.”

“I love you, too!” she declared, hugging him tight, burying her face in his chest.

“Apparently.” He chuckled, falling backwards on the bed with her. “Thank you for being you.”

“Seriously, Crispin! If I ever see him again, I’ll let him have it!”

“Well, perhaps you’ll get your chance.” He chuckled and tugged her up so she rested comfortably beside him, her head on his chest, her arm around him. This is where she belonged, tucked snuggly at his side. To think, before meeting her, he would never have imagined being so assured and content in another’s embrace. Yet now, especially now, to be held, to hold her so near, without fear of abandonment, was the most beautiful feeling.

“What do you mean?” she asked, suddenly not so sure of Crispin’s intentions. “We leave for home tomorrow, right?”

“Damn right. I can’t wait to get back. But first, I think we’ll stop in and say a proper goodbye to my dear Uncle Piers.”