OVER THE NEXT SEVERAL WEEKS, my face repaired itself. No physical scars remained, but the slash along my neck remained an ugly red welt. Mary Grace’s physical wounds healed, but her emotional ones were still close to the surface. She withdrew within herself and disconnected from the world. Bowden gave Gray a pass to come nightly to assist in lifting her spirits. She no longer wandered off to the forest. The spring in her step disappeared, and no dreamy light danced in her eyes. I tried to comfort her the best I knew how, but it seemed the only one capable of putting a smile on her face was Gray. I knew Mammy wanted to protect her, but Mary Grace needed to get out of that bed and live again or she would wither away. Mammy’s wisdom in the matter seemed to be clouded with the overpowering desire to shield her.

Burdened and feeling despair, I sought out Mammy one evening. I found her in the kitchen house, cleaning up after supper. A slave from the quarters had replaced Mary Grace for the time being.

“Amelia, could you excuse us?” Mammy said to the girl when I flopped down at the table. She nodded and with a fumbled curtsy, she left.

“What’s wid de long face, chile?” Mammy had stopped her washing of the table and now gave me her complete attention.

“I can’t stand it, Mammy. I’m eaten up with guilt and anger over what happened to Mary Grace. I witnessed it firsthand. I understand she is hurt in ways no one should ever experience. I’m aware even I can’t begin to imagine her suffering. But she can’t lie in bed forever. If she is to get better, she needs to be busy and fill her days or she will replay this nightmare over and over until she fades away. You know I’m right, Mammy.”

She said nothing. Her face remained unchanged. But I saw her mind spinning over my words.

“Mary Grace is forever changed by this. Everything pure and beautiful about her, they took that day. But I love her too much to see them take her life too.” I examined Mammy’s face, seeking understanding.

She huffed and finally replied, “I know you’re right, chile.” She rested her meaty hands on the table and shook her head as if to clear it. “Time will be what et takes to fix my gal, and in time she will find her way back. But et won’t happen in dat dere bed.”

I blew out a breath of relief. “Yes, Mammy! Does this mean you will help me get her out of bed?”

“Yes, chile. You’re a bright gal. You love my Mary Grace, dat for sho’.” She grinned briefly before her face grew serious. “And chile, et ain’t your fault, what dose bad men did. Don’t be carrying dat guilt.”

Tears spilled from my eyes at her words, and I feigned a tired smile. “I’m trying, Mammy.”

“Dat my gal.”

I left the kitchen house. The sun was setting and the sky became sheathed in vivid shades of pink and orange. I thought about the last weeks as I made my way to the house. Father had left on his ship the day after the trip to the sheriff’s office and we’d never discussed the rumor the town ladies spilled. We did, however, speak about what took place in the sheriff’s office after I left. The sheriff claimed his hands were tied and there was nothing that could be done, as I wasn’t raped, and even if I had been, I didn’t see our attackers’ faces. Father said he wasn’t finished with the matter, but he didn’t want to stir up trouble while he was gone. The guards were to remain at their post until his return, but, overall, the plantation went back to normal.

Bowden honored his promise and taught me self-defense and how to handle a gun. Whitney refused to be left out. Knox and Bowden made a point to come by Livingston each day, and we spent hours over the weeks practicing. We led Bowden, Knox, and Jimmy to believe it offered us a sense of security, which it did, but it hadn’t been our only motive. Thankfully, we were quick learners and my confidence soared with each passing day. I no longer considered myself powerless. Like Mary Grace, the attack had changed me. I was aware of the ugliness of mankind before Rufus and his man’s attack, but now I regarded it free of the blinders of a young girl. Tonight I felt aged beyond my nineteen years as I carried myself up the steps and left the artistry of the night behind me.