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“Hey.” Isaac looked up from the TV screen. He wasn’t streaming anymore, but he was still gaming. “Harper isn’t feeling well. She’s been sleeping for a while.”
Pietr dropped his bag behind the couch. He’d tried texting her twice with no response, which wasn’t like Harper. “Meesh said she wasn’t last night either.”
“She said she thinks she has a cyst.”
Pietr hummed. After she’d first told him about the PCOS, he’d done a lot of googling. Of course, it all seemed to bounce between horrifying and mundane. Some articles brushed the cysts off as normal and usually resolved of their own. Others amplified that the excruciating pain and longevity, resulting in the need for surgery.
“I’ll check on her.” He leaned over the couch, kissing the top of Isaac’s head. “Was she dizzy again?”
“I think so, although she didn’t say.”
Pietr hummed again. He left the bag but took his smoothie bottle over to the dishwasher. When he entered the bedroom a few minutes later, it was dark. The curtains were pulled closed over the windows. He frowned at the lump on Harper’s side of the bed. The covers were all pulled around her. Which Harper almost never did.
“Hey baby.” He crawled into bed next to her. He pulled the covers back just enough to see a peek of hair. He kissed the top of her head before settling next to her. “Isaac said you’re not feeling well again.”
She grunted. He smiled softly, tugging the covers further from her face.
“He said you think you have a cyst? Do we need to go to the Urgent Care?”
“No,” she managed. “They won’t do anything. Just tell me to take some ibuprofen and send me home. To come back if it continues.” She groaned, turning away from him. “Fuck.”
“Is it just pain?” He asked. He hated the layers of blankets between them, but he didn’t want to get into her space if she didn’t want him in it. He knew that seeing where the pain was wasn’t going to help him make her feel better. It was on the inside where, short of an ultrasound, no one was going to be able to just tell that what she suspected was true. “And the lightheadedness?”
“Yeah.”
“Would a heating pad help?”
“Maybe.”
“I have an electric one or I have a rice pillow thing. Which would you like?”
“The rice pillow?”
“I’ll get it for you. Do you want water? Ibuprofen or something?”
“I already took some. It sort of helped.”
He stroked her hair away from her face. Her eyes were still squeezed closed. Her skin looked more pale than he was used to. Harper was never tan, but she usually had a certain amount of pink in her cheeks. That was gone, leaving only an almost ashy white pallor. “Have you eaten today?”
“I don’t remember what, but I know I ate something.”
“You are sure you don’t want to go to the hospital?”
“No,” she retorted. “I’ll be fine.”
“You don’t look fine.” He brushed his fingers over her cheeks. “I’m only worried about you, lyubov moya.”
“I don’t want to sit in a hospital for hours to have them tell me something I already know,” she said.
He kissed her cheek this time, finally accepting her response. “I’ll go find the rice pillow. Do you want to stay in here, or do you want to come out to the couch? Play a game with me and Isaac. Or watch us play while you rest.”
She inhaled deeply. “I should get up and read my edits. They’re probably in my inbox.”
“You don’t have to get up to do that. I can bring you your laptop.”
“No.” She shook her head then groaned, curling into a tighter ball.
Pietr’s chest clenched. He hated this, but there wasn’t much he could do to help her. He got up from the bed and walked out of the bedroom. Normal people probably kept pain management items in their bathrooms. He kept his in the home gym. Or a set of them anyway. He opened a cabinet and pulled out a small, hefty cloth covered bag that smelled vaguely of lavender. He carried it out to the kitchen, peeling the sort of burlap bag out of the cotton cover. He arranged it carefully on the glass plate of the microwave. He’d started his first one on fire a few years before, so he kept a careful watch of it while he filled a fresh water bottle for Harper. He’d been meaning to invest in the suggested towel warmer but hadn’t done so. A few minutes later, he tossed the bag between his hands, a little too toasty, and slid it back into its cover, the water tucked into his elbow.
“Is she okay?” Isaac asked as he passed by the couch again.
“I think so. Just hurting,” Pietr offered. They both knew what it was like to hurt. To be in nearly constant pain, actually. They had both gotten very, very good at hiding it. Harper, he suspected, had been doing a very good job at hiding it, until she couldn’t anymore. “I’m trying to get her to come out and sit with us. We can play some games. Early night tonight. We both leave tomorrow morning.”
“I don’t like leaving if Harper isn’t feeling well. Should she be left alone? I can rearrange my flight.”
“Don’t do that,” he shook his head. “You can stay, but only if you want to stay. Don’t feel like you have to. She’d hate that.” Pietr tossed the bag into his other hand. “I better get this to her before I have to heat it again.”
He left Isaac on the couch, entering the bedroom again. Harper had shifted, partly sitting up but still had the covers pulled up around her shoulders. She gave him a light smile as he set down the water bottle. The covers fell away as she took the rice pillow and tucked it under the blankets with her.
“Thank you, bae.”
“It’s a little early for dinner, but are you hungry? Soup maybe?”
“I’m not sick,” she chided.
“It is a sort of sick,” he retorted. “I didn’t offer chicken noodle or something. I could make potato. You like that.”
“I do like potato soup,” she admitted.
“I can make that.” He sat down on the edge of the bed. “Isaac has a very good peasant bread that would taste good with it.”
“I don’t know if we have ham.”
“We have bacon. The good stuff, hidden in the freezer,” he said.
She laughed. “Okay. That sounds good.” She untucked a hand to touch his knee. “How was practice?”
“No practice today. Just video, chiro for a good adjustment, and then my workout.”
“Oh.”
“You know my schedule better than I do,” he teased.
“I’m sorry.” She closed her eyes again. “This really fucking hurts.”
“I know, baby.” He leaned up, kissing her forehead. “It will pass. If it’s still like this before I leave for Chicago, you’re going to the doctor. No fucking around.”
“Okay, okay.
“Is the medication maybe not working?”
“It alleviates, it doesn’t cure anything.”
“Um, have you considered other options?”
“Like what?”
“Like an IUD?”
“It would work the same way. Personally, I’d rather just take it all out completely and be done with it. They won’t let me.”
“What do you mean?”
“For starters, it would seriously fuck up my hormones. Which are already fucked up. That aside though, women don’t exactly get bodily autonomy, Pietr. The medical field, even women doctors, won’t let women just not have functional reproductive organs without it being an actual life threatening issue. Like cancer.”
“But you don’t want kids.”
“No, I don’t. But it doesn’t matter because I’m still young and I could change my mind.”
“That is fucking stupid. You’re lying here in pain because of a cyst in an organ you don’t even need to live, and you don’t even want functional. Sure, okay, so hormones go wonky. There are ways to deal with hormone replacement.”
“Yup.”
“I walked into a fucking clinic and got an appointment for a vasectomy in ten minutes. Thirty day waiting period, but that’s state thing.”
“Yup.”
“I could have gone into a clinic, literally in over half the states in this country and gotten it done the same day.”
“I know.”
“But you have to live with this? Because you’re of childbearing years and don’t have cancer?”
“Basically. And I’m at a higher risk for ovarian and uterine cancer. So...”
“That’s fucked up.”
Harper sighed. “You’re preaching to the choir, Ivanov.”
“I’m mad on behalf of my wife, who I love very much and hate seeing like this,” he said. “On behalf of every woman who deals with this and doesn’t have a partner who is willing to voice how fucking ridiculous it is that you just have to learn to deal with it.”
“I love you.” Harper smiled. “But you’re not going to singlehandedly change the medical system, Pietr.”
He sighed, squeezing her hand. “I know, but I don’t have to be quiet about it.”
She sighed again, beginning to move. She straightened up a little higher in the pillows. “I’m already starting to feel a little better.”
“I think it’s worth having a conversation. Finding other opinions. You have pretty good insurance now. Or, as soon as your new card gets issued.” He smiled. “We can try to find a doctor who will do what you want. Or at least work with you to find compromise. And IUD is an option. Maybe tubal ligation?”
“Even with ligation, I’d have to stay the birth control. It regulates everything. And if I got an IUD, I’d have to deal with an adjustment period. The nice thing about being on the pill now is that I don’t have to think about anything. I haven’t had a period pretty much since going on it.”
“Is that safe?”
“There is no medical reason to have a period if you’re not trying to get pregnant, other than to shed—You know what? Why don’t I find you a book if you really want to know more? I’m not sure if I can go over all of this with you.”
Pietr laughed, squeezing her fingers again. “I just want to know how to better take care of you. This is obviously not something I’ve had to completely learn about before. You’ve only had to tell me the basics before.”
“You take very good care of me,” Harper assured him. “Since I met you, I definitely eat better. I exercise more,” she laughed, “in a way.”
“I have a home gym,” he chided. “If you need to be exercising, I can show you how to use the equipment.” He leaned forward, tipping her chin up to kiss her lips. “We could work out together sometimes. Very light for you. To start.”
“Ugh.”
“I like making you sweat.” His voice went a little husky. He moved closer, kissing her a little more deeply. “The sex is good exercise, yah?”
She grinned against his mouth. “I’m not sure if my doctor would suggest it, but I enjoy it more than lifting anything heavy or running.”
He laughed, relieved. If she was joking and letting him kiss her, she must be feeling at least a little bit better.
“Does the heat help?” He asked.
“Too soon to tell, but it feels nice,” she answered. “You want me to get up don’t you?”
“I don’t want you to do anything except feel better,” he answered. “But, if you get up, I can make Isaac come help me remake the bed. You can either go work in the guest room or go sit out on the couch. I won’t make you though.”
She hummed but nodded. “Give me a couple of a minutes.”
“Where’s your laptop? You want me to set it out for you?”
“It’s on the desk in the living room. I’ll grab it when I come out.” She squeezed his fingers again. “Thanks.”
“You don’t have to thank me for being your husband. It’s part of my job. In sickness and in health and all that.” He stood back up, frowning. “Not that being your husband is a job. If it is, it is best job I’ve ever had. With the worst pay.” He watched her try to hold back a smile unsuccessfully. “Want me to take your water back out?”
“Sure.” Harper started tugging the blankets out from under her.
“I’ll take that and go start on your soup.” He smoothed her hair back. He leaned down, looking her in the face. “I love you.”
“I know.”
Another kiss to the forehead before Pietr picked up the water bottle again. He let her make her own way out of the bed, going back out to the living room and depositing the bottle on the coffee table.
“Are you doing something important?” He asked Isaac. When it came to video games, he couldn’t be sure when his boyfriend was playing for fun or playing for work.
“Not really.” Isaac paused the game. It looked like some kind of vintage inspired platformer. Not Pietr’s favorite. He preferred open worlds over having to jump over a lot of shit. “What’s up?”
“Harper is going to move out here. Will you come help me with dinner? Potato soup. Veg prep will go faster with two of us. You could make that easy soda bread of yours. And then, come help me remake the bed? It’s kind of a mess.”
“Four people will do that,” Isaac retorted. “I can do whatever you need me to do.” He clicked a button on the controller, sending the system back into sleep mode. He reached for the remote, flicking the TV off before he followed Pietr into the kitchen.
The soup was fairly brainless, using one of the Webers soup mixes that Harper loved as the cream base. They doctored it up with fresh potatoes, carrots, celery, a few sweet peppers, and of course: the apple smoked bacon that Pietr had hidden. After he’d finished cutting up veggies for Pietr, Isaac pulled out the few ingredients he needed for an easy soda bread.
While the soup simmered on the stove over a low heat, they went back into the bedroom once Harper had vacated for the couch. She’d wrapped herself up in an oversized throw blanket with her laptop, reading over the notes from the editor. The bottle of water was clutched to her shoulder while she looked annoyed at her screen.
“How does Maria do this by herself?” Isaac asked, having to kneel onto the bed for the third time to grab an edge of the bedding to pull it tight across the massive bed.
“She is very efficient,” Pietr replied. “Also, I think it helps that it is a square bed, so she doesn’t really have to think about what direction bottom sheet or the quilt goes.”
“Clever. Is that the real reason you have such a huge bed?”
“I used to like the extra space,” Pietr said. “Now, it feels empty on the occasion I have to sleep alone. I actually slept in the guest room and on the couch a couple of times while Harper was in Wisconsin with you. When the pillow tricks didn’t work.”
Isaac shook his head. “You’re pathetic.”
“I know.” He sighed with exaggerated weariness. “It is such a problem, being in love.”
Isaac smirked, tucking the quilt in at the end of the bed. It wasn’t as neat as when Maria did it but she would be in soon enough to change the sheets and do the laundry. It was more than serviceable, and better than it had been.
“Thank you for your help.” Pietr met him at the end of the bed. He put his arms over Isaac’s shoulders. “And for being here. I know you weren’t planning on it.”
“I like spending time with the two of you,” Isaac assured him. He pressed a quick kiss to Isaac’s lips. “I’m going to be relived to be home for a little while though.”
“Are we smothering you?” Pietr asked, half serious.
“No,” Isaac assured him. “I love you. I love being here with you and Harp.” He caught Pietr’s lips. “You better go check that your soup isn’t boiling over.”
“It is on very low. I’m sure it’s fine.” Pietr kissed him again, a little deeper this time. Isaac groaned, his fingers flexing against Pietr’s chest. Ultimately, he pushed him away.
“Go on. We can make out later.”
“Fine.” Pietr feigned a heavy sigh. “But I want twice as many kisses later.”
Isaac laughed, following him out of the bedroom again. “Yeah, okay. I can oblige that request.”
Pietr continued to the kitchen while Isaac got comfortable on the couch again. He heard him ask Harper if she minded if he played his game while she worked. She must not have, because he heard the system ping back to life. Pietr opened the lid of the soup, giving it a stir. It smelled good. He peeked in the oven to see the soda bread was looking good too, but not quite the right shade of golden brown.
He got out a tray, not about to make Harper move again, and arranged the food on it, wishing he had something sweet to add to it. Like a flower or something. Which was silly. Harper didn’t care about flowers.
The timer went off for the soda bread. He heard Isaac curse so he called out that he had it and to keep playing his game.
“Sorry, babe,” Isaac called back, “I just hit the boss.”
“It’s okay,” he called back.
Letting the bread cool for a minute, he filled three bowls with the chunky soup. He went to the fridge, taking out a bag of shredded cheese to top each of them. He added a can of coke to Harper’s tray. Then he cut into the bread, dunking one of the heel slices, her favorite, as well as one of the thinner inner slices, into the bowl. He looked it over, wondering if he should add anything else to it. Then, knowing she’d never let him take a picture of her, he pulled out his phone to snap a picture of the tray.
He waited until he’d delivered it, pulling the coffee table closer to her end of the couch. She set her laptop aside and straightened up to take the bowl from the tray. She complimented the first taste while Isaac got up to retrieve his own. Once they had both settled back on the couch together, Pietr returned to the kitchen.
Leaning against the counter, he pulled up the photo of the dinner tray. He messed a bit with the editing. The kitchen lighting didn’t quite give it the aura he wanted. Then he considered what he wanted to say without revealing too much. Only married three days and already upholding traditional vows. Harper is likely appalled, but in too much pain to complain. #FuckPCOS #InSicknessAndInHeath #MarriedLife #HoneymoonPhase #PotatoSoup #IrishSodaBread #Polyam #LGBTQFamily #MyNonBinaryWife
He clicked post before he could overthink it. He purposefully didn’t tag Harper in the post. If she saw it, she saw it. If not...well, that was okay too. He didn’t want to stress her out more. He tucked his phone into his pocket before picking up his own serving and a soda from the fridge. Finally, he joined his partners for a quiet night in.