My legs were slow to sling out of bed Monday morning. When they finally did, I stared down at my feet and the blue carpet squeezing up between my toes. For several seconds I pondered the fibers . . . and the upcoming day.
I’d soon know whether Jessica was completely turned off by my girly scream on Saturday night. All my questions would be answered as soon as I got to school, like how far the news had actually spread. If the story was out there, would slimy Greg use it to move in on Jessica? Would the kids realize I wasn’t so brave after all? Would Josh use this opportunity to pound my face into hamburger meat?
Almost like a zombie, I climbed aboard the bus and shuffled back to my friends. “What’s the matter with you?” Rishi asked. “You look so serious.”
“Well,” I exhaled, “Saturday didn’t exactly go as planned. You know I . . .”
“I know if there’s one person who doesn’t need to worry about something like this, it’s you. Who’s going to care about a little scream? We’re not talking about Mr. Faint over here,” Rishi joked, motioning at Slim. “We’re talking about you . . . about Rodney ‘McThugg Slayer’ Rathbone.”
“Yeah, relax,” Dave added.
My friends were right, of course. How could I be foolish enough to worry that one little yelp would tarnish my golden reputation? I’d be fine. I actually smiled for the first time since Saturday as I walked into the cafeteria to line up for class.
“Aaaaggghhhhhh!” A scream rang out so loud that I jumped and froze. It was Kayla, pointing in my direction as she held her stomach and bent over laughing. Samantha was right beside her, practically crying from howling.
“Please stop this at once,” Long Nose pleaded with the girls, but they seemed determined to have fun, all at my expense.
“Any mutants grab you this morning, Rodney?” Kayla yelled.
Samantha joined in, “Did you spill your cereal all over the place and run to Mommy?” They both began giggling uncontrollably. I made a face like they were crazy but noticed other kids starting to look in my direction and laugh along with the girls. Then I saw Jessica, who wasn’t laughing. She was too busy listening to Mr. California, who was smirking as he whispered something in her ear.
If things had ended with that, I would have been miserable but safe. However, someone else was listening and his curiosity was aroused. Toby went over and sat right next to the girls. I could see him ask them something and the two girls launched into giggly whispers, no doubt describing the whole embarrassing scene. Toby was salivating, his devilish eyes gleaming right at me. This wasn’t going away anytime soon.
I was miserable all morning. It didn’t help matters seeing Toby enjoy himself so much. As Mrs. Lutzkraut droned on, he kept busy sketching ugly mutants eating screaming stick figures. Each figure wore a little T-shirt with the name Rodney on it. For my viewing pleasure, he made sure to place the drawings where I could see them, his lips locked in a smile the whole time.
Lunch arrived and I sat down with my friends. They seemed completely clueless about my various problems. As they joked about something from class, I nervously watched the rest of the cafeteria. All my fears were being realized. Kayla and Samantha were still making mutant faces at me from the next table and squealing with delight. Greg sat down next to Jessica and I almost pounded my sandwich into a pancake when he began feeding her his Cool Ranch Doritos. I watched for several seconds, growing nauseous and believing things couldn’t get any worse. Then I looked to my right. Boy, was I was wrong.
At the other end of my table sat Toby and Josh. I could tell they had been waiting to make eye contact. I gulped. Josh hadn’t given me such a direct, threatening look since the first day of school. He mouthed the words, “You’re dead.”
“Don’t you just love lunchtime?” Rishi elbowed me.
“Uh . . .”
“I can’t wait to get outside and play some b-ball.”
Oh no, recess. That’s where Josh would probably get me. I wanted no part of it. There was no way I was going outside. “Well, have fun,” I told Rishi.
“Huh? Where you going?”
“See you in half an hour,” I said as I got up to leave.
“But Rodney,” I could hear him begin as I walked away. I had to get past Long Nose. After that, I would come up with a plan. I kept my head down and walked toward the door.
“Just where do you think you’re going?” she asked.
“I’m sitting out recess with Mrs. Lutzkraut,” I answered out of habit.
Her squinty eyes dug deep into mine. I was sure she could tell I was lying. “Excellent,” she finally announced, “but if I was a teacher, you would really know what punishment is all about. None of this silly missing recess stuff. If I had my way, you would have been expelled a long time ago. And do you know what else?” She motioned for me to come closer, like she had a secret. I took a step forward. She slowly bent over me—and blew her whistle so loud that I fell backward. “Line up time!” she shouted to the cafeteria.
As I walked through the doors and down the long gray hallway, my ears still ringing, I could hear her screeching at everyone to head outdoors. I was glad to be out of there and for a minute considered hiding in the bathroom, or talking to Mr. Feebletop about the latest Mets trade. Instead, though, I headed straight to room 217. I walked in and for the first time ever was actually relieved to see Mrs. Lutzkraut at her desk.
“What are you doing here?” she muttered angrily, a glob of egg salad falling from her mouth.
I almost gagged but managed to answer, “You told me to come today.” Then I added, “Tomorrow, too.” She looked slightly confused and frowned. I figured this would be the best place for me to hide for a while.
Mrs. Lutzkraut seemed as disgusted to see me as I was to see that slimy food churning in her mouth. She finally spoke. “I don’t remember telling you to come here. Knowing you, you’re probably wrong, but no doubt you deserve to be sitting out recess anyway. Take a seat, and for once be quiet.”
My quick thinking had worked. As bored and grossed out as I was sitting out recess in class, at least I was safe. But for how long? What would I do after tomorrow? I slipped into such a down mood that Mrs. Lutzkraut seemed baffled by my silence. Right before the rest of the kids returned to class she looked at me and announced, “I know I’ll regret this, but you behaved so well today that I’ve had a change of heart. Rodney, tomorrow you may join your friends outside for recess.”