‘Master Abbot,’ Egbert said, half in acknowledgement, half in surprise.
The Abbot’s eyes were wide, his head was ranging from side to side as he tried to take in the sight which had materialised in his cell, but most of all his pointing finger had found its life again and was singling out Cwen. ‘Doom, doom,’ he moaned.
‘There will be in a minute,’ said Cwen, ‘if we don’t find some way to make the sea go backwards.’ She was glancing back down the staircase they had climbed, where the sound of the gurgling sea was getting slightly louder with each passing moment.
They were all crowded into the Abbot’s cell, which really wasn’t built for such numbers. As the leader of the community he had greater space than any other but this was really so that he could retire here and work, as well as sleep, not have gatherings with seven extra people, four of them still soaking wet. Cwen and Wat were pressed against the back wall with Athan, having been the first to enter the room. Egbert was jostling with Nicodemus for space in front of the Abbot’s bed and Lefric was half in and half out of the staircase entrance.
Hermitage had found himself bundled over towards the door. While he’d rather have been with Wat and Cwen, he found being close to the route of escape from the place quite comforting. Small spaces with many people in them had never been easy for him. A small space with several unwashed monks and sopping wet clothes which were starting to smell, was positively unpleasant.
‘What are we doing here?’ he asked, looking around the bland and featureless room. He considered the group, which, confined in the space of the Abbot’s chamber seemed to be unnecessarily large now, considering it was supposed to be carrying out a delicate mission in a secret monastery. ‘I mean why are we in the Abbot’s chamber?’ he explained, spotting a number of unhelpful comments being made ready. ‘Why would the trail from the altar to the library to the tunnel, lead here?’
No one appeared to have anything useful to say on this question.
They turned to face the Abbot as if he ought to know why this mysterious path had brought them to his bedside.
The old man appraised them all, managing to drag his gaze away from Cwen for a few moments. ‘I don’t know you,’ he said, now pointing at Nicodemus and Athan.
‘We are sent by the King,’ Nicodemus answered quickly.
Wat coughed, ‘I doubt that,’ he said.
‘More?’ The Abbot queried. ‘Why does the King send so many people to trouble me?’ He was returning to his wailing, worrying self.
‘Fear not, father,’ Lefric spoke up. ‘All is in hand.’
The others all stared at him, as if they hadn’t noticed he was there until then. He had the grace to look put out by all the attention. ‘The secrets will be protected,’ he sounded very sure about this.
Athan took the opportunity to step up and grab the monk by the scruff of the neck. He looked like he really needed to grab something and Lefric was in the right place at the right time. ‘What secrets?’ he demanded. ‘We’ve only got your word that you don’t know them.’
Lefric looked offended. ‘Well I don’t know, do I? They wouldn’t be very secret if everyone knew them.’
‘But you protect those who do know,’ Nicodemus pointed out.
‘Er,’ said Cwen, first to ask the question. ‘What?’
‘This monk,’ Nicodemus explained, ‘claims to be in some sort of secret brotherhood.’
Lefric was tugging frantically at Athan’s arm which still had hold of him, while making blatant “shut up” signals, which were being ignored.
‘Oh, don’t be ridiculous,’ Nicodemus waved him away. ‘We all know why we’re here now. No point in trying to keep any more secrets than the ones we don’t know already.’ He turned back to the rest of the room. ‘Apparently this monk is guarding some other monks who are guarding the secrets.’
Ebgert frowned deeply, ‘Is this true, Brother Lefric?’
Lefric looked at the floor.
Egbert sighed, raised his arms slightly and slapped them down on his thighs with a grunt. ‘What have we told you about secret societies?’ he folded his arms now, just like some parent or teacher, waiting for the humble confession of wrong doing to be spilled.
Lefric looked at the floor a bit more deeply.
‘Well?’
‘Mumble, mumble,’ said Lefric, quietly.
‘We didn’t hear you,’ Egbert said, much louder.
‘We’re not supposed to have them,’ Lefric snapped, with simultaneous defiance and submission.
‘You’re not supposed to have them,’ Egbert repeated the lesson. ‘The Abbot’s told you. I’ve told you. We’ve told everyone. No secret societies. They’re sinful, they’re unhealthy, they’re a breeding ground for all sorts of questionable goings on.’
Lefric didn’t have a reply.
‘And who are these other monks you’re supposed to be guarding? Secrets within secrets. Do you know who they are?’
Lefric looked at his prior. ‘No,’ he muttered. ‘It’s a secret.’
‘A secret!’ Egbert coughed the word. ‘We’re all used to keeping secrets brother. They are quite well cared for by the whole monastery. That’s why it’s here. It’s already the biggest secret society there is, we don’t want any more. Everything is quite well managed by the Abbot and the Sacerdos.’
‘The Sacerdos who is dead,’ Wat pointed out. ‘And who appears to have sent us on a goose chase all over this place looking for something he hid from the rest of you.’
‘Be that as it may,’ said Egbert, trying not to be distracted by Wat’s quite reasonable point. ‘The monks have been told in the strongest possible terms that they are not to start secret societies. Where are we going to end up if everyone is in a secret society?’
‘One big not-secret society?’ Cwen suggested.
‘But they don’t do that, do they?’ said Egbert. ‘They all go off and start their own little groups getting up to goodness knows what. All of them sneaking around trying not to let anyone know what they’re up to.’ He peered hard at Lefric, some realisation creeping up. ‘Is that what those blisters on your head are all about?’
Lefric drew his cowl close.
‘I knew it,’ Egbert announced, throwing his arms around again. ‘I should have stamped on it as soon as I saw the first one. I knew there was something going on.’
‘Are there many with this mark then?’ Hermitage asked, trying hard to keep up with developments.
‘Lefric here,’ said Egbert, ‘Brother Gardon, and that’s it. As far as I know.’
Lefric did not contradict the information.
‘Two of them?’ Nicodemus expostulated, sounding very disappointed. ‘There are two brothers in this great secret guarding group?’ He glared his annoyance at Lefric.
‘And Brother Gardon would be challenged to find his way out of a cell with one door,’ Egbert commented. ‘I wouldn’t trust him to protect his own head if the roof fell down.’
Nicodemus gave all his attention to Lefric, who was clearly wishing he’d never opened his mouth. ‘And who exactly appointed you to the role of protecting this Trusted Brotherhood?’
Lefric looked completely horrified. ‘What are you doing?’ he wailed. ‘You were sent. Why are you revealing that which must not be revealed?’
‘Because you’re an idiot,’ Nicodemus concluded. ‘Sent. Pah! We just turned up at the gate and you let us in. Without any invitation you told two complete strangers all about your secret and led us into the heart of the monastery.’
Lefric had his head in his hands now.
‘Why am I not surprised?’ Egbert shook his head slowly, in disappointment. He directed his comments at Lefric. ‘You’ve let the monastery down, you’ve let the Abbot and me down, but most of all you’ve let yourself down.’
Lefric’s face emerged from his hands and it seemed to have taken on a new defiance. A slightly mad one, from Hermitage’s point of view.
‘Well, you’re all doomed now,’ Lefric said with a clear hint of the loon about him. ‘You can’t go talking about the secrets without consequences. The Trusted Brotherhood will deal with you all directly.’
‘Trusted Brotherhood,’ Nicodemus snapped his fingers in dismissal. ‘The leader and only member of the Trusted Brotherhood is probably the monastery cat.’
‘Someone took the tie-stone away,’ Lefric pointed out, with rather wild enthusiasm. ‘And someone opened the gate to let the sea in.’
‘And,’ Hermitage pointed out, from the back of the room where he was being largely ignored. ‘Someone killed Ignatius.’
That did give them all pause for thought.
Egbert was the first to speak. ‘I’m pretty sure Lefric and Gardon couldn’t work out which was the sharp end of a sharp thing. I can’t see either of them dealing with Ignatius in such a manner. They’re probably scared of the sundial because it’s magic.’
‘Then there is another,’ Hermitage concluded. ‘At least one. And one who wants to deal with all of us, it seems.’
‘Ha, ha,’ Lefric skipped a little skip. ‘Isn’t it wonderful,’ he sang. ‘The Trusted Brotherhood is going to kill us all.’
‘Including you,’ Wat explained.
‘I know, I know,’ said Lefric, who seemed to think this denoted some sort of favourable treatment.
‘How do we know that this Trusted Brotherhood is any more capable in the head than this one?’ Nicodemus gestured dismissively at Lefric.
‘Does it matter?’ said Hermitage. ‘If they’ve got the wherewithal to throw a priest on a sundial, remove bits of buildings and let the sea flood the place? Personally, I’d rather not be killed by anyone.’
‘Oh,’ said Lefric, clearly leaving more of his sense behind with every passing moment, ‘I’d love to be killed by the Brotherhood. What an honour.’
‘After you,’ said Cwen.
‘I kept hoping they’d invite me to join,’ Lefric was off on a fantasy of his own. ‘But the call never came.’ He shook his head, sadly. Then he looked up at the room once more and his eyes narrowed in thought. ‘Perhaps if I killed you all they’d let me join?’
‘You can have a go,’ said Athan, as if inviting Lefric to take part in a “Strongest monk” competition, knowing that he wouldn’t win.
‘Begone!’ The Abbot brought them all to silence with a loud shout, part command, part desperate plea. ‘Foul demons of my dreams, cease to disturb my waking hours with your caterwauling.’
‘Erm,’ said Egbert, giving the Abbot a rather worried look.
‘I have discerned your plan,’ the Abbot said knowingly; mostly mad, but a bit knowingly. ‘You are not real. You are not sent by the King at all. You are sent by the fallen Angel. The Devil himself tempts me with the shape of a woman in this place.’
‘I didn’t tempt him with anything,’ Cwen said, sounding mightily offended. ‘Silly old fool.’
‘And now you appear from the walls of my cell. You are not real I say. Begone.’ The Abbot didn’t know whether to cover his ears or his eyes and so tried to do both at the same time, his hands running over his face as if they had a life of their own.
Egbert drew his breath through his teeth. ‘Perhaps we’d better move on? I think the Abbot is a bit tired.’
‘He’s a bit something,’ Cwen commented.
‘But, but,’ said Hermitage as the crowd started to press towards the door. ‘We still don’t know why Ignatius led us here. What is there in this chamber that we should be discovering?’
‘We’ve discovered a mad abbot, if that helps,’ said Wat.
‘Brother Egbert,’ Hermitage called over the press. ‘Ask the Abbot if Ignatius left him anything.’
Egbert shrugged as looked at them leave. ‘I can have a go but I’m not sure it will make much sense even if he does tell me anything.’
As the last one left, Egbert pushed the door to the cell shut and turned to his Abbot. To his surprise his leader was beckoning him to sit by his side. He did so cautiously, not knowing if this was some sort of trap.
His caution turned to alarm as the Abbot grabbed the hem of his own habit and started to haul it upwards. The man may have lost a lot of his senses but this really was going too far. ‘Father, please,’ he begged.
‘It’s in here somewhere,’ the Abbot bent his head to the task in hand and was delving around inside his clothing in a manner even a flea would think twice about.
Egbert was leaning towards the door, ready to jump up the moment the Abbot revealed anything that no one should be expected to see.
‘Aha,’ the Abbot called out in triumph. ‘Got it.’ He sat back on the cot and held out his hand to show Egbert what he’d retrieved.
‘Oh,’ said Egbert, with the most enormous relief. ‘A key.’
‘Of course,’ said the Abbot. He looked around the now empty room as if something might be going to leap out of the walls again. ‘Now that the demons have gone,’ he said, in a very conspiratorial manner, ‘I can let you have this.’ The key was a simple slim rod of iron about four inches long with a small ‘T’ at one end for inserting into the barrel of a padlock. The T would release the padlock’s internal spring and open the lock. It seemed the Abbot had regained some of his senses, although what this key was for, Egbert had not a clue.
He patted Egbert on the knee. ‘The demons clearly know where I am now and will only try to take the key again. Best I entrust it to you. You will know what to do.'
No. Not regained any of his senses at all.
‘And what do I do?’ Egbert asked.
The Abbot looked at him as if he’d just located the biggest idiot in the room. ‘You don’t open the padlock.’ He stated the blindingly obvious.
‘I won’t,’ said Egbert. He allowed a long pause. ‘Which padlock?’ he added.
The Abbot shook his head with disappointment that this wasn’t perfectly clear. ‘The one to the Sacerdos’s secret passage.’
‘Aha,’ said Egbert, knowingly. He paused again. ‘Which secret passage?’
The Abbot sighed. ‘For goodness sake, Egbert. If I knew that it would be the Abbot’s secret passage, wouldn’t it? I know perfectly well where the Abbot’s secret passage is, thank you very much. This is the Sacerdos’s secret passage.’
‘But he’s dead.’
‘Exactly,’ said the Abbot, which seemed to add nothing.
‘So we don’t know where this passage is.’
‘What is wrong with you?’ the Abbot asked, clearly puzzled why Egbert seemed unable to follow this simple matter.
“What’s wrong with me?” Egbert thought.
‘Ignatius entrusted me with the key to his secret passage while I gave him the key to mine.’
‘Very equitable.’
‘We were to use them if anything happened.’
‘Without knowing where the passages are.’ Egbert noted.
‘Exactly.’ The Abbot appeared to consider that the most cunning part of the plan.
‘But you haven’t looked for the passage?’
‘Of course not.’ The Abbot was mightily offended at the very idea.
‘Even with Ignatius impaled on a sundial? Surely that counts as something happening.’
‘It could have been an accident,’ the Abbot nodded to himself. ‘No need to get carried away just because one priest ends up on a sundial.’
‘I see,’ said Egbert, having no desire to argue the point.
‘But now the demons have appeared.’ The Abbot looked warily about his cell. ‘Did you see them?’
‘Er, yes father, I saw them.’
‘A whole host there was.’
‘Indeed.’
And a female demon. They’re the worst.’
‘Are they?’
‘Oh yes. They are temptation.’
Egbert couldn’t immediately imagine even a female demon from the heart of hell being inclined to offer the Abbot any temptation whatsoever. They must have some standards, after all.
‘They’ve obviously found me and want the key. Doubtless they will return to drag me to the pits of hell but they shall not have the key.’
Egbert looked at the key which was a straightforward device. It could probably open any padlock, so how he was expected to find the one to a secret passage was beyond him. ‘Right then, father,’ he said, as he made a move to get up from the cot. ‘I’ll get off to not open the padlock to the passage then.’
‘Excellent,’ the Abbot rubbed his hands. ‘We shall defeat the demons and then what a welcome we shall have in paradise.’
‘Aha. Yes.’ Egbert was slightly surprised that he managed to stand and get to the door without the Abbot grabbing him to impart some more madness. Still, at least a key was a significant find. ‘I’ll, erm, see you later then,’ he said as he slowly opened the door and started to sidle out.
‘Ah,’ the Abbot cried.
Egbert sighed. He had been so close.
‘The fires of hell come for me too soon,’ the Abbot wailed.
Egbert frowned at this nonsense, but the old man did seem to be in an even worse state than the one he had started in. ‘I’m sure not father,’ he tried to reassure.
‘But they are cold,’ the Abbot sounded very confused. ‘Why are the fires of hell cold, Egbert?’
‘Erm,’ Egbert dragged his mind for some explanation which might calm the Abbot.
‘And wet,’ the Abbot added. ‘Do they drown you first when you get to hell? I hadn’t been told about that.’ He now sounded quite offended that there was some detail of eternal damnation that had been withheld from him.
‘Oh Jesus!’ Egbert cried out.
‘He comes to save us?’ The Abbot looked around.
‘Not exactly,’ said Egbert, stepping forward again to pull the Abbot from his cot. ‘I erm, I think the demons have another plan.’ He directed the Abbot’s attention to the cell floor. The room sloped slightly with the Abbot’s cot in the lowest corner. This explained the man’s distress as the ever-deepening inch of sea water which had climbed the stairs from below lapped at his feet.