19
Tell the Truth

Silence becomes cowardice when occasion demands speaking out the whole truth and acting accordingly.

—Mahatma Gandhi

I recently attended a reading by a popular writer. After she talked for an hour about writing and life, she did a brave (or stupid, depending on your perspective) thing. She opened the mic and allowed people to come forward and ask their questions.

These situations trigger my anxiety. My heart starts to beat a little faster and my palms get sweaty. On this day, my hands were sticking to my notes: People can ask all sorts of ill-advised questions. Doesn’t she know that?!? People are going to make this terribly uncomfortable. I mean, unlike quiet and good little me over here, a lot of people are totally inappropriate. Doesn’t she know that?!?

And wouldn’t you know, the worst possible thing happened. A young man came forward with papers in his hand and began to talk about how he receives revelation from God and writes it down and had an entire manuscript that came to him as direct dictation from God himself.

(The room is getting twitchy.)

And so because he is God’s ghostwriter, he is certain that God has also told him to bring the manuscript to the event and make sure the famous writer receives it because it is destined for publication.

Personally, this kind of stuff gives me hives. And if it would have been me up there in front, receiving this information in real time, I would have done whatever I could to get out of that moment as quickly as possible. This, though, is the weakling in me. I would have taken the manuscript and then never read it and I would have placated the young man just to move things along. I would have hidden behind a lie.

I would make a decision to try to keep everyone comfortable instead of being brave.

The famous writer coolly and kindly told the young man, “I’m so sorry, but I won’t be able to take your manuscript. I don’t have the time to read it and I would just be taking it and then telling you I will read it when I actually won’t.”

The young man interrupted her and started pleading and repeating that God himself had told him to come to the event and to make sure she got the manuscript.

She repeated firmly and calmly, “I won’t be able to take your manuscript. I do not have the time to read it and I don’t want to lie to you.”

The room was silent.

I’m not sure what everyone else in the room was feeling in that moment, but I could feel the knot in my sternum go slack. She was taking charge of a very awkward and uncomfortable moment. She was not allowing herself to be steamrolled. She was not letting this young man be in charge. She was in charge.

I felt so relieved. And then I felt inspired. Because I would have never done what she did. Even though my intuition was to tell that guy to SIT DOWN, I would have played it much safer.

What happens, though, when I put on that plastic smile and I say something I actually don’t think, is that I have to then live with internal conflict. Conflict with myself. Because I didn’t speak up, because I didn’t say what I really think.

Steve has this great adage about dealing with conflict. He says, “Hard on the issue; easy on the person.”

That is exactly what this writer did. She was very firm on the issue but she did it in a way that was cool, calm, and not degrading. She wasn’t a jerk. She was direct. She didn’t give this guy—a guy who was taking advantage of a situation in a very uncomfortable way—her power. She didn’t let her own personal boundary get crossed. Even with a thousand of us looking on.

Whoa.

Reflection & Expression

Think about a recent conflict. What did you say or do? What did you want to say or do?

For Your Brazen Board

Find an image of someone who is expressing her power.