Chapter 18: Linda Booth & Nelly Shuttleworth

Ashford, morning: Sunday, September 21st

On impulse Linda stayed on the bus until it reached the top of Barnes Street.

Hearing George Worth’s words, as he had left the ward, had brought the bitter sourness to her throat. She’d pushed through the flood of people to get to the lavatory, gagging on the vomit, and dropped to her knees over the bowl in the first cubicle, retching.

The horror stayed with her throughout the night shift. Don’t think about it, she’d thought, changing bloodied sheets for a new mother. Don’t think about it, giving a night feed to a crying new born. Don’t think about it, handing out painkillers and filling out reports. But it had been no use. The memories of a wet stinking tunnel, a cold damp stone floor, the smell of a dirty hand over her mouth, a man coughing and wheezing, the rasp of a rusty bolt, wouldn’t go away. And then the sour smell of urine. Her urine. And the pain as her head hit the ground. The shock. The panic of seeing only blackness.

She’d tried to empty her thoughts but the terror clung obstinately.

‘This is a surprise, pet. I thought you said you were on nights.’ Linda heard the cautious worry in Nelly’s voice, which changed to a forced jollity. ‘Owt to do with that daft cousin of yours, our Victoria?’

‘No, Gran. No news on that score.’ Linda sat on the small footstool near Nelly. It looked as if the old woman had slept in the chair; she was fully dressed and her clothes were rumpled. ‘Have you been here all night?’ She picked up Nelly’s glasses off the carpet and handed them to her.

Nelly pushed them on, adjusted them onto the bridge of her nose. ‘Never mind me. Shouldn’t yer be tucked up in bed yerself?’ She put a gentle hand on Linda’s head.

The touch caused Linda to gulp.

‘What’s happened?’

‘Nothing.’ Tears smarted.

‘Yer don’t usually come ’ere straight after work.’

‘I just felt like a visit.’ It was something she’d often done as a child when there’d been trouble at home. When her mother had been drinking. There was a lot of comfort in snuggling up on her gran’s ample lap, in the familiar fusty smell of her.

‘Okay.’ Nelly pushed down her anxiety, stroking Linda’s hair. She would say before long what was upsetting her. ‘Owt interesting going on at the hossie?’ It was the only thing she could think to say that was normal, that would quieten the niggle of unease.

Linda was aware she was a lifeline to the outside world for her gran who didn’t go much beyond her front door these days. But she also knew Nelly’s tactics of going all around the houses to get to whatever the problem was, and was grateful.

‘We’ve been busy these last two nights. Sandra Crabtree’s in again…’

‘Oh aye?’ Nelly raised an eyebrow. ‘Off Bridle Terrace? Poor cow.’

‘Twins this time. That makes seven she’s got now.’

‘Poor cow,’ Nelly said again, sucking in her cheeks. ‘Terry Crabtree’s a right waster an’ all.’

‘I know.’ Linda paused. ‘And we have a woman in who’s much older than our usual mums. Nice woman. She had a rotten time, ever such a long labour. Little boy was breech. He had to go in one of the incubators at first.’

Nelly screwed her face up in sympathy. ‘Always worse when you’re on your own in the ward without your bairn. ’Appened to a woman when I was in with my first. She skriked all the time.’

‘Oh no, she’s not in the main ward, she’s in one of the side wards. She’s private.’

‘Ah well, pet, some woman get mollycoddled by their fellers.’

‘Hmm.’ Linda tipped her head back to look at Nelly.

Bending forward, Nelly saw the two lines between Linda’s eyebrows deepen slightly in a familiar gesture. This was it; whatever came next became her problem as well as her granddaughter’s. It was a familiar pattern between them. One that she knew Linda relied on. Her heart gave a quick double thump. ‘What is it, love?’

‘You know … usually the husbands are lovely…full of excitement and proud of their wives. And they treat the nurses with respect, Gran.’ Linda wrapped her arms around her body. Keep calm, she told herself.

‘So they should.’ Nelly nodded.

‘But the first time this woman’s husband came on the ward it wasn’t visiting time and he wouldn’t take no for an answer … just shoved me to one side when I tried to tell him he wasn’t allowed in.’

Nelly made a fist. If the bloke had been standing in front of her now, she’d give him what for. ‘You weren’t frightened, weren’t you, pet?’

‘I was, to be honest … which isn’t like me. I freaked a bit. He was horrible.’

‘Bastard.’ Nelly’s hand was motionless on Linda’s head.

Linda hugged herself harder. ‘And then last night he came in again. I was telling his wife she needed a few days more rest. She’s had an awful time, Gran.’ Linda looked up at her. ‘She’s exhausted. And to be honest, I don’t think he cares about anything else but how he’s being put out with her being in hospital. He was so nasty.’ Her scalp tightened. ‘Normally, I can handle anything. But this was different. There was something about him. It was as though I knew him from somewhere.’ Linda twisted round to face Nelly, her hand on her gran’s knee. ‘As though I knew I should be scared of him. Instinctively like. You know what I mean?’

‘Right…’ Nelly drew the word out. ‘Was ’e a big bloke?’

‘No, he was same size as me but thickset.’

‘Did you report ’im?’

‘No, I was just glad to get away from him.’

‘You should tell your William. ’E’d sort ’im out.’

‘I don’t want him involved. To be honest, Gran, the man looks like one of the Kray twins – slick hair, flash … as though he has to prove he has money… One of those astrakhan coats slung around his shoulders. Loads of gold chains round his neck, his wrists. Great big square ring on his little finger. And he looks as if he’d been in loads of fights; he has a sort of half-moon shaped scar on his face. Here.’ Linda touched her cheek. ‘And a nose that looks as if it’s had a bad break. He frightens me.’

Nelly’s stomach lurched. She put her hand to her throat but couldn’t stop the small groan. She took her glasses off, pressed her fingers over her eyes.

‘Gran? What is it?’

Nelly opened then closed her mouth. The tremor started deep inside her until she was shaking violently.

Linda got to her knees, wrapped her arms around the old woman.

‘Gran? What’s wrong?’

Nelly’s shoulders shuddered. ‘I can’t…’

Goosebumps rose on Linda‘s arms. She held her breath for a few seconds, waited. When she finally spoke, her voice sounded strange even to herself. ‘You know him, don’t you Gran? You know who the man is.’

When Nelly next spoke it was in a whisper. ‘Not my place to say, pet. You need to go home. You need to talk to your Dad.’