Organize Your Days VerticallyThe less clutter and commitments you have in your life, the less you’ll feel pulled in so many different directions. When you simplify your life, you free up time.
—MICHELLE TULLIER, PH.D.
The Complete Idiot’s Guide to Overcoming Procrastination
I love turning the page on a new calendar. Those white, pristine squares each month represent breathing room, margin in my life, and a relaxed pace. The reason I love them is simple—all that white space offers a chance to dream, an opportunity to change, and the potential to make those plans become a reality.
Can you change your life? Of course you can. And if you are to simplify your life, the best place to start is with your calendar, the place that creates the lifestyle you now live.
Time on your calendar reflects how you travel down the road of life, and there are two ways to view this passage of time. One way is to look at time horizontally from the beginning to the end of the week. We do this when we look at the Sunday-through-Saturday displays found on monthly calendars.
The other way is to look at time vertically for a single day from the beginning to the end. This is much like a long to-do list and set of appointments running from the top of the page to the bottom.
Whenever you feel the need to simplify your life, step back and view your calendar from both of these angles. Managing your time horizontally and vertically will help you beat the clock before time is up in a day.
Looking for Time?
When you manage time vertically, you race through the day like a 100-meter sprinter—either finishing winded and weary with leftover tasks, or winning the prize by finishing what you set out to do.
When you manage time horizontally, you rise above your schedule and set your sights on the week and month ahead. You understand the importance of conserving your energy for the long haul and pace yourself, much like a marathon runner.
The key to successful time management is evaluating your time from both angles. When you plan horizontally and vertically, you control your schedule, rather than allowing life’s events to control you. Being proactive rather than reactive is a wonderful way to live.
Organize Your Days Vertically
Managing time vertically means accomplishing the day’s tasks in a time sequence from morning until night, the way they are written from top to bottom in the calendar square.
The Vertical Drop: Morning until Night
Martha, a working mother of two, was determined to catch up on life one Saturday morning. She began at 8 A.M. by reaching for a long to-do list taped to her refrigerator. By 10 A.M., she began to realize that her overly ambitious plans were nowhere near being completed.
“I had to do piles of laundry, clean the kitchen, get the mower fixed, and run four errands before I had to drive the kids to soccer practice and a birthday party,” she lamented to me after that morning.
Martha began by glancing at her to-do list and surveying the housework awaiting her. If my family would just help out, I wouldn’t have to do all these things by myself, she thought. She shook her head in frustration, retied her running shoes, and hit the errand trail.
Under pressure, we tend to fall into the same trap. Sometimes we even pull it off, but over time, we are doomed to frustration and feelings of perpetual catch-up if there is always too much to do in a day.
The solution I shared with Martha was not only to keep herself focused on the day’s events vertically, but also to spread those tasks out horizontally over one week. Martha was a quick learner and rose to the challenge of recognizing how much she could realistically accomplish in a day. She got excited about checking things off during the week so her Saturdays could be more relaxed.
Viewing the Week and Month Ahead
A strategic way to pace yourself is to manage time from a horizontal perspective.
Organize Your Days Horizontally
Managing time horizontally means looking forward to the week and the month ahead to pace your schedule and energy accordingly.
Helen, a married physician with a large blended family and an active social life, learned horizontal management from trial and error. Now before she fills up an entire day and evening on her calendar, she looks over the week and month ahead to be sure that she has enough “breathing room” in her packed schedule.
It’s not so much the number of commitments that can bog her down. Instead, it’s the lack of “white space” on her calendar that can give her emotional breathing room to shift gears from one event to the next.
Helen has learned from her past mistakes that trying to handle her life and commitments in a perpetual hurry-up mode will leave her feeling frazzled. She now manages her time both horizontally and vertically and exudes a confidence and contentment that comes from feeling much more under control with her life’s pace.
Managing time horizontally will improve your physical stamina and your emotional outlook for the long haul. This key to time management keeps your energy flowing smoothly, rather than taking a nosedive at the end of each day.
A Coming Crisis
I can tell when a crisis is coming just by looking at a woman’s calendar. Scheduling wisely is the key to preventing chaos at home, burnout at work, and fatigue at the end of the day. The telltale clues in a woman’s calendar predict whether she will thrive or just survive.
Brenda’s Story
I remember meeting Brenda, a busy working woman, at one of my seminars. She asked for some advice. “I have a really busy schedule these days, but I promised to have my boss and his wife over soon. But I’m feeling stressed already.”
“Do you have your monthly calendar with you?” I asked.
“Sure,” she said. We happened to be in the first week of that month.
“Here’s a good way to get started,” I offered. “Let’s look at the weekend nights first—Friday, Saturday, and Sunday—and see whether there is a problem there. Only two out of those three weekend evenings should be committed. It doesn’t matter which night you take off, but you and your family need some down time, for at least one, if not two, of those evenings.”
BRENDA’S CALENDAR
“Got it,” said Brenda. “What about my weeknights?”
“From Monday through Thursday night, you should commit to having two of those four evenings free. Between weekends and weeknights, that means a maximum of four nights out per week.”
When Brenda looked down at her calendar again, it was as if a light bulb went on. “One, two, three . . . oops,” she said. “I’m planning to be out nine out of those ten nights!”
“Not a good idea,” I said.
“But I already promised I’d have my boss and his wife over soon,” Brenda pointed out. “What should I do?”
The Cost of a Busy Schedule
In Brenda’s case, she really does have a time crisis brewing. If she follows through with her plans for the upcoming ten days, she will be heading toward a figurative crash landing. Like many women, she’ll probably hold up well while going through it, but on the day after it’s all over, watch out! That is when Brenda is likely to find herself irritable, discouraged, and emotionally burned out.
Calendar overload exacts a heavy price, which is why it’s often not worth the “big push” to attend everything and please everyone. A calendar without breathing room wears any normal person out, so guard your calendar to reflect the pace of life that you can personally handle. Discouragement and fatigue may be a reflection of a time schedule out of balance.
When I pointed this out to Brenda, she immediately agreed that changes needed to be made. “Is there anything I can do about this pending time crunch?” she asked. “I can’t let down my boss, Aunt Sally, or any of the committees I’m on. I’m just overbooked right now.”
“We’re just going to make some adjustments in that calendar of yours,” I said. “If there’s one good thing about a crisis, it’s that it can help you see more clearly what the real priorities are.”
Readjusting Your Calendar
The good news about Brenda’s schedule is that adjustments could be made because everything was out in the future. We can learn some solutions from her busy calendar by noting the following ideas:
1. Ask your friends or boss if they could reschedule on a later date. Offer them two dates that would work better for both of you.
2. Schedule mutually enjoyable activities when out-of-town company arrives so you have something to look forward to as well.
3. Continue to participate in evening meetings, but let the chairman know ahead of time how long you plan to stay.
4. Reclaim one evening at home by covering your responsibilities in a one-on-one lunch meeting, by phone, or by e-mail with the leader.
5. Bottom line: Do yourself and others a favor by getting out of commitments when you’re too busy to even be there.
Using a Calendar to Simplify Your Busy Life
Cherish your time by treating your personal calendar as a prized possession. Keep your calendar with you at all times, if possible. Having your appointments, meeting plans, and phone numbers close by will help you successfully manage any changes that come up.
The way you schedule events can simplify or complicate your life, so remember these tips:
1. Keep one monthly calendar.
2. Write down all your appointments in one or two words.
3. Diagonally mark off passed date boxes while reflecting if it was time well spent.
4. Pencil in all appointments and potential events coming up.
5. Promptly say no to invitations and meetings that you cannot or do not wish to attend.
6 Always respond to everyone who contacts you, if possible.
7. Offer two alternative options when rescheduling an event.
8. Leave a large portion of your Sunday open for worship and restful activities.
One Life, One Calendar
Most women have many parts to their lives and more than one calendar to manage them. This can be a problem. If you have a calendar on the refrigerator, one in your purse, and one at work, you’re going to be one overscheduled woman. The worst part is that you’ll be leaving out the most important commodity to make it all work—you.
There are only twenty-four hours in anyone’s day, and you don’t need to add to your stress by feeling fragmented and having things fall through the cracks. Your calendar—a single calendar—should reflect a balanced and satisfying life for you. You can start that journey by consolidating your activities through living one life on one calendar.
Detecting a Pattern
Your calendar contains many clues. If the early part of your week goes well but you are frustrated by the end of the week, look at your schedule from prior weeks and determine if you can detect a pattern. Seeing what a “good day” looks like on that day of the week will help you choose the way you schedule things.
Skimming, a Red Flag
When hectic days come, a woman finds herself skimming to just hit the priorities. Skimming at work means a never-ending in-box and unreturned messages, while at home, mail, laundry, and dishes pile up. Before she knows it, she is overstressing herself and resenting the life she once enjoyed.
If this is your situation, stop the chaos and deal with the annoying details by canceling something in your schedule. Having the courage to say “no” to too much activity keeps your life from spiraling out of control.
Building Flexibility into Planning
The woman who needs to be out evenings can lower her stress by pacing herself through the three parts of every day—morning, afternoon, and evening. A good rule of thumb is to make one part of the day a time to regroup and have some personal down time.
See these other examples of flexible planning:
• A working woman finds she is tired and fatigued every Monday morning because her weekend was too busy. She needs to rearrange her weekends so that she can enter the workweek refreshed.
• A mother, noticing that her preschoolers balk at going to preschool activities every day from Monday through Friday, may decide to cut back to only three preschool days per week.
• A teenager is fatigued from beginning his high-school classes at 7:10 A.M. A look at his weekly calendar may reveal the need to reduce the number of extracurricular activities that force him to stay up late at night.
Husband’s Patterns
As I observed patterns in my family, I noticed a glaring one in my husband’s schedule.
“David, what happens on Thursdays at work? They seem to be more stressful for you,” I inquired one evening.
My husband paused defensively, looked at me, and said, “Thursdays are just like any other day. What makes you say that?”
“Well, honey, every weeknight you come home at about the same time, but on Thursdays you come home late and stressed. What happens on Thursdays?” I asked again. After giving the question some thought and checking his calendar, he said, “I have regular weekly meetings scheduled every hour, all day long on Thursdays. So I have to stay late to get some of my own work done. Hmm. Maybe I should shift some of the meetings to another day.”
“Maybe you should do that,” I said evenly.
“I think I will!”
Planning horizontally has many benefits. You can even find time for yourself by scheduling an appointment named “My Time” or “Family Time” and writing it in like any other appointment.
Time is not flexible, but your schedule is. Figure out what works for you and the people in your life. Then guard these priorities carefully on your monthly calendar.
Teach Your Family to Plan Ahead
You can teach your family to plan time together by gathering over Saturday brunch or a “pizza calendar party” every Sunday night. This built-in family time allows you to discuss what’s ahead and create ways to spend time together in the coming week.
Ask about their work and sports schedules as well as their ideas for dinners. Talk through each day of the week until you get to the next weekend. This way you can calendar the family events, even if you are the only one to show up with a pen in hand.
Help your family count the nights out per week to avoid overextending themselves.
An overcommitted calendar is the quickest way to drain all the enthusiasm and momentum from your life, as well as the lives of your spouse and children. Organize and revitalize your family with a good plan for the week ahead.
TIME TIPS FOR FAMILY LIVING
Try these time tips for less stressful family living:
Toddlers: Be five minutes ahead of them. Otherwise your day will begin with a downward spiral as you sleepily eye the messy kitchen and hear your little ones proudly announce, “Mommy, we made breakfast!”
School-aged children: Be one hour ahead of them. Remind them of what is next—whether school, music, or sports—so they can mentally start to transition and collect what is needed.
Teenagers: Be one day ahead of them. If your teenager wants the car on the weekend, leverage his motivation by requiring that he clean his room and do chores beforehand.
Husband: Be three months ahead of him. If you want to get the house painted in the summer, start selecting colors in the spring. Discuss what you want to accomplish and when you can best do it. The same goes for a summer vacation, because a one-or two-week trip takes a lot of advanced planning.
Retiring Spouse: Be one year ahead of him. Months ahead of retirement, initiate discussions about projects you want to tackle together, or exciting trips you hope to take during your “golden years.” This is the time to work together as a team for mutual enjoyment.
Plan Tomorrow the Night Before
Planning tomorrow the night before means confirming tomorrow’s time schedule. This may mean that you need to confirm appointments and carpools, get directions, and write out your to-do list the night before. You will likely find that people are prepared for appointments and more enthusiastic about get-togethers if you take a few minutes to confirm things the day before.
Each evening, take the time to gather your purse and things you need for the next day—packages to be mailed, new purchases to be returned, and dry cleaning to be dropped off—in one launching spot. This will help you avoid the last-minute stress of collecting things.
You can also simplify life by tacking on one errand at the end of a workday or an appointment to free up your weekends for more enjoyable events. You will be more productive and happy if you create larger blocks of time to spend on things you enjoy.
The PuSH Sequence for Getting
Your Calendar Together
1. What’s the problem?
• Martha: Too many things to do on Saturday.
• Brenda: Stressed about the upcoming ten days.
• You: ____________________________________
2. What’s the goal?
• Martha: Get more things done with limited time.
• Brenda: Have the boss and his wife over and not be stressed.
• You: _________________________________________
3. What are the next action steps?
• Martha: Spread tasks over a week and be realistic about Saturday.
• Brenda: Count nights and cut back on the busiest weeks of activities and appointments.
• You: ___________________________________________
Put u in the PuSH System for simplified living by choosing a personal planner that you like to look at and writing down everything that’s in your schedule. Let it reflect all the people and things you value.
Remember: Plan tomorrow the night before.
And use the weekend to plan the next two weeks ahead.
| Martha | •Manage time vertically by thinking through how to get all tasks done in a day. | •Put everything on the calendar and keep it in the same spot every day. | •Plan tomorrow the night before by calling ahead, gathering items, and cleaning up papers and clutter. | •Every night write out the plans for the following day. •Keep priorities based on their results. |
| Brenda | •Manage time horizontally for the week ahead for balance. | •Find a personal planner or written system for a daily time schedule and task list. | •Look for patterns of good days and weeks. Repeat them. •Cut out activities until balance can be achieved. |
•On the weekend, evaluate the two weeks ahead. •Make commitments based on horizontal planning, not just available white space. |
Personal Reflection
Look ahead as you scrutinize your calendar vertically for overcommitted days and horizontally for imbalanced weeks.
To make sure you don’t run out of energy before your day is over, look at your monthly calendar right now and take the following steps:
• Mark off the days that have passed this month with a diagonal slash.
• Add all the events you know are coming up.
• Put a check mark after the week where four nights are already committed.
• Add or delete any events to reflect a lifestyle you thrive in for the next two months.
• Repeat events if you like them.
For best results, only plan up to 70 percent of your time with a 30 percent time cushion for the unexpected. Be aware that planning too little activity can result in boredom, so don’t go overboard and cut out too much.
A Simple Prayer for Strength
Dear God, You know my life, and You know how much I can handle in a day. Please help me to organize my time so I can accomplish all that is in front of me. Gently remind me in stressful times to quiet my heart with a quick prayer so I can draw upon Your great strength to help me. Amen.
The people who are most successful in managing their time make
appointments with themselves to complete tasks.
—BARBARA HEMPHILL, Taming the Paper Tiger