HOLLY

Everything Cole says sounds like a dream. I can’t find anything to argue with. He’s not even blaming me for any of our breakup. I glance toward the Gingerbread Cottage, and it feels like my heart is trying to escape. It’s tugging me toward the building, begging me to pull away from Cole and leave him in the past where he belongs.

Isn’t that what I came here for?

Tiffany said I needed to forget about him and the heartache he caused.

I know better. People are capable of change, and while Cole may have let his weaker side push me away, I firmly believe he realizes he was wrong. We have a history. I can’t throw that away because of a mistake Cole made.

That’s the right choice, isn’t it?

Once again, I find my eyes darting to the building.

“Holly? Are you okay?”

We stand on the sidewalk immediately in front of the inn. The only thing that stands between me and the B&B is the landscaping covered in Christmas lights. Cole hovers in front of me. His head tilts to one side, brows furrowed with concern.

“You haven’t said a word since I finished my speech.”

That’s because my heart is pounding, thrashing around as if trying to escape, while my head is telling me this is all I wanted in the first place. My body is tearing me apart from the inside, and I don’t know what to do.

I shut my eyes tight. “I don’t know, Cole.”

“You don’t… know?”

I nod firmly. “I’m sorry. I just… you hurt me. I don’t think I can throw that experience away and trust you again.”

He’s quiet. Too quiet. I don’t dare open my eyes, not yet. I don’t think I’ll be able to handle the look on his face—those puppy-dog eyes that got me into trouble in the past.

“I get it,” he mumbles.

My eyes fly wide, and I stare at him, once again at a loss. This isn’t the Cole I remember. The old Cole would chide me about being selfish, not give me understanding and empathy. Am I missing something? Is he hiding that side of him so well that I can’t see it?

Cole gestures toward the building. “We should probably get you inside. You’re shivering.”

“Am I?” It’s only then I realize my teeth are chattering. He’s right, and he’s thinking about me over himself. We head toward the inn, and I focus on keeping at least a foot between the two of us. The last thing I need is for someone to catch us looking like a couple. Everything is such a mess right now. I need to clear my head, but I’m not sure I can do that when Cole is planning on hanging around.

We head up the steps to the inn, and the door opens, spilling warmth and light onto the porch.

My heart drops from my chest all the way to my knees as I come face to face with Lucian. His eyes drill into me, hard and cold as the snow beneath my boots. They don’t shift until Cole speaks.

An exclamation slips from Cole’s lips under his breath, and he steps forward. “I don’t believe it. Lucian Scott, right? That’s you, isn’t it? The actor?” Cole drags a hand through his hair and releases a laugh as he faces me. “You didn’t tell me that Lucian Scott is here.” His eyes widen. “Wait. Does that mean this is that bed-and-breakfast? The one he’s running?”

I blush, forcing myself to meet Lucian’s unreadable gaze. “Cole, this is Mr. Scott. And yes, he owns the Gingerbread Cottage.”

Another surprised laugh bursts from Cole’s throat. “This is unbelievable. Just wait until the guys hear about this. Can I get a picture with you?” He pulls his phone from his pocket and turns around to take a selfie without waiting for a response.

Lucian seems anything but amused. He remains in the doorway. I’m not sure, but I sense some distrust in his eyes. Gone is the warmth and openness I’ve grown fond of. Instead, he’s thrown up some walls, preventing me from being able to see anything more than the outward shell of a man I don’t quite recognize.

Is all of it in my head? It’s possible I allowed myself to believe his friendliness was more. He’s famous. What reason would he have for being interested in someone like me? Lucian may have been flirting to get a happy customer.

If I thought my chest ached before, it definitely hurts now.

Cole drapes an arm around my shoulders, beaming at our host. “I still can’t believe that I’m meeting Lucian Scott.”

“You can just call him Lucian,” I mumble, too numb to pull out from under his arm. I stare down at my boots, embarrassment flooding every part of me.

“I prefer Mr. Scott, if it’s the same to you.”

Cole nods. “Of course, Mr. Scott.” He holds out his hand. “I’m Cole. And you’ve obviously met my girlfriend, Holly.”

I can feel Lucian’s gaze on me. It penetrates me to my core. He may be amused or irritated. I will never know because I’m not willing to put myself through that sort of torture. My mind is racing due to everything that has happened in the last half hour, and I don’t have the energy to correct Cole or ask Lucian to say something.

Cole chatters on like the superfan he is—a fact I actually didn’t realize. I wait for Tiffany to make an appearance and tell me that I’m being an idiot and need to snap out of this fog I find myself in.

I can smell supper, and my stomach growls.

“Dinner is about to be served. Will you be joining us, Cole?”

“It smells delicious. I didn’t realize that you serve more than breakfast.” He chuckles as if he’s told a hilarious joke. No one else laughs, and the quiet stretches between us unbearably.

Lucian steps out of the way, and Cole leads me inside. The door shuts behind us. I should tell Cole to go to the dining area without me so I can speak to Lucian. I need to tell him what’s happening—to ask him what he’s feeling. I can’t shake this gut instinct that I’m making a mistake.

When I finally look up, Lucian is on his way to the dining area. I can hear Tiffany’s voice drifting from that direction along with Meredith’s. For a brief moment, clarity strikes, and I dig in my boots to stop Cole from dragging me to the dining hall.

He stops, unsure. Facing me, he places both hands on my shoulders. “Hey, is everything okay?”

All I can do is shake my head.

“Is this about me calling you my girlfriend? I’m sorry. It was habit.” He drops his hands to his sides, and a sad sort of smile appears on his face. “I never really stopped thinking of you as my girlfriend. I should have asked if that was okay.”

I shake my head again. “This is just a lot to swallow right now. I need… I’m going to need a little space to get my balance back.”

He nods, taking a step back. “Right. I said I’d give you some time. I meant it.”

I still can’t fathom what happened to bring about this change. Cole wasn’t perfect before by any means, but he wasn’t terrible either. There are good reasons why I should be champing at the bit to give us another chance.

My gaze flits to the door leading to the dining hall.

There is only one good reason why I’m not exhilarated by the prospect, and he’s probably sitting at that dining room table wondering what on earth Cole is doing here.

“Come on, let’s get in there before the food gets cold.” I turn on my heel and hurry away, not wanting to give Lucian any other reason to believe I have made my decision. I have to choose between the start of a new relationship with a guy I barely know and rekindling an old one with someone I fell in love with long ago.

The second we enter the dining room, Tiffany swears. All eyes, including those from a few guests we’ve only interacted with occasionally, turn to stare at her. She glances from Cole to me, then back. Finally, she throws her hands into the air. “Nope. Not gonna happen.”

“Tiff—”

She darts toward me, grabs my elbow, and wheels me out of there like we’re escaping a fire. The second we’re clear of the room, she hisses at me. “What is he doing here?”

“I have no idea,” I whisper back.

Tiffany gives me that look, the one that tells me she doesn’t believe a word I’m saying.

I scowl at her. “I’m not the one posting every little update on our trip. Did you block him before we got here?” Based on the chagrined expression on her face, I have my answer. I sigh. “Well, that explains how he knew we were here.”

“What did he say? Please tell me he’s not here trying to win you back.”

“Well…”

“Holly!” she groans. “You can’t just… you didn’t tell him yes, did you?” She smacks her forehead with her palm. “No wonder Lucian came into the dining room like he’d just been attacked by hornets.”

“He… what?”

“I might not be on board with you staying here, but I’m definitely not going to support you running back to the guy who broke your heart before Christmas. Cole was sweet until he wasn’t.”

“People make mistakes, Tiff. You know that.”

“Yeah, but not blunders like that. He doesn’t deserve you. The stuff he pulled isn’t okay.” Tiffany’s eyes search mine as she waits for a response. Unfortunately, I don’t have one. She groans again. “You can’t go back to him.”

“I didn’t say I would.”

“But you didn’t say you wouldn’t, either. And what about Lucian?”

I scowl at her then. “Pick a lane.” This isn’t fair. I can’t think clearly. I don’t know which way is up. The world has been tipped upside down and kicked into the woods. I’m dizzy, and I feel sick to my stomach. Covering my face with both hands, I groan. “What do I do?”

“You don’t pick Cole.”

Peeking at Tiffany through my fingers, I give her a flat look. “It’s not as simple as that, and you know it.”

“Do I? Sweetie, I saw how hard it was for you when things didn’t turn out between you guys. I was the one you cried to when your heart was broken, remember? Don’t you think you deserve better?”

“But—”

“Don’t give me that ‘people can change’ bit. If Cole wants to change, then he’s gonna have to be patient while you figure out what you really want. And don’t go picking someone because you think it’s the decision that makes the most sense. Sometimes love doesn’t make sense. Sometimes it’s messy and you have to take risks.”

“And what if those risks include moving to a new area to explore something that wouldn’t make sense even if you gave it a million years?”

Tiffany sighs. “You’re talking about Lucian, aren’t you?”

I gnaw on my lower lip. There are too many variables. It’s like I told Cole. I need some space to figure it out. I need to write up a list of reasons for my decisions.

Unfortunately, I know that it’s not going to be possible.

Tiffany pulls me in for a hug. “No one is going to make you choose tonight. Let’s get in there and eat some dinner. Then you can escape with me to our room so you don’t have to worry about breaking any hearts. I mean, there’s still a chance you could turn both of them down, right?”

“Tiff!” I laugh in spite of myself.

“Come on.” She pushes me forward. “I’m starving.”