Claire stood at the door to Loni’s house, poised to knock. She hesitated and lowered her arm again. What was she doing? Was she really up for this? A party with all her kids’ friends and their parents? Maybe she should have started small, lunch with a couple of the moms.
But she wanted to get this over with. She knew she must be the center of a lot of gossip and chatter around town and she wanted to put an end to it, or at least help it diminish. And, if she were to be completely honest with herself, she was beginning to miss these people. She’d never been extremely close to any of the other parents, but she wouldn’t exactly call them merely “acquaintances,” either. She’d enjoyed seeing them at school functions and going out for couples’ nights where they’d hire a babysitter to watch all of the kids at one family’s home and then all pray the kids wouldn’t trash the place or scare off the babysitter so they’d still be able to use her again next month. In three years, they’d gone through seven different sitters.
She also realized she was missing all the children, too, and not just her own. She loved her kids’ friends. She’d always encouraged Luke and the twins to have their classmates over to the house for play dates. She’d treasured hearing the little voices and watching them run around together. She adored all their little faces and hands and pigtails and chubby cheeks. She hadn’t seen the other kids in so long. They all must’ve gotten so big.
Claire lifted her hand, once again to knock, when the door unexpectedly flew open.
“Claire!” Loni crooned, her Southern drawl in full swing. “I thought I saw your car pull up. I was beginning to wonder if you were ever going to come inside!”
“I, um, was just putting on a little lipstick.”
“And it looks grand!” Loni stepped aside and made a wide, swinging gesture to motion Claire through the door. “Welcome to our humble abode.”
Claire wondered how Loni could say those words without giggling. The house was anything but humble, with a long sweeping staircase in the center of the foyer that reminded Claire of Gone with the Wind. Dark mahogany railings carried you past a portrait gallery wall Claire bet rivalled the Met. An enormous crystal chandelier hung from the ceiling and Claire couldn’t help but wonder if it had cost more than Claire and Jack’s entire home. A fresh display of flowers, as tall as Claire, sat on a table in the crook of the stairway, and was flanked by Bastille armchairs, covered in pale lavender linen. Loni loved the color purple and it was present in various ways throughout the home.
“Here,” Claire said, handing Loni a bottle of wine. “This is for you.”
“Oh, silly girl! You didn’t have to bring us anything. We’re just so happy you’re here! When I told everyone you were coming…well, no one could believe it.”
Claire could imagine how that announcement had gone.
“Am I late?”
“Nope, you’re right on time. Everyone’s out back. Follow me.”
Claire cautiously trailed behind Loni as she made her way through the elegant foyer and into the extravagant living room, to the back patio. Loni slid the door open and stepped outside, ahead of Claire.
“Attention, everyone! Guess who’s here!” Loni’s voice trilled.
“Claire!” a dozen voices rang out in unison. Within seconds, everyone was out of their chairs and on their feet.
Claire hadn’t been hugged this much since the funerals and probably never before then.
“We’ve missed you so much!” the moms cooed.
“It’s good to see you looking so well,” the dads boomed, squeezing Claire so tight, she lost her breath.
Claire’s eyes filled with tears. She’d missed these people so much. She hadn’t even realized how much until this very moment.
“Come on; sit down,” Valerie, a mom Claire had always particularly liked, encouraged her. “Sit next to me. Joe, you go sit somewhere else,” she barked at a pudgy man with a receding hairline. Her husband shrugged and found a seat closer to the pool. Valerie was a stunning woman, with exotic features and black, luscious hair. Jack and Claire had held many a conversation wondering about how Joe, with his mediocre looks and unimaginative personality, had managed to score a wife that hot.
Claire placed her bottom in the seat next to Valerie and crossed her legs nervously. Suddenly, she didn’t know what to do with her hands. Should she fold them? Sit on them? She was thankful when Loni came over and handed Claire a glass of wine.
“I hope you like red.”
Claire peered down into the glass. She actually didn’t know if she liked red. She didn’t even know if she liked white. Claire didn’t drink. Never had. It just didn’t appeal to her. Claire was about to hand the glass back to Loni, reminding her she didn’t drink alcohol. After all, Loni already knew that. All the parents knew it. Claire had been teased, good-naturedly, of course, more times than she could count during their big nights out.
“Hey, Jack! Did you marry Claire so you’d always have a designated driver?” the men would chortle.
“Ha, ha. Very funny,” Claire would retort. Jack would always come to her rescue by saying, “I married her because she was the most beautiful girl I’d ever seen.” And then he’d place a kiss on Claire’s lips that would make all the other women envious.
“Um…Loni,” Claire said, holding up the glass. “I don’t…”
“Oh, sweetheart, you aren’t going to tell me, after all you’ve been through, that you still don’t drink, are you?”
“Um…”
“Let me tell you something; if anyone on this earth deserves a drink, it’s you.”
Valerie nodded in agreement as she and Loni and two of the other women, nearby, lifted their glasses.
“Cheers,” Valerie said.
Claire lifted her glass, knowing it was expected of her.
“Cheers,” she said meekly.
“So, Claire…” Valerie leaned closer, as if she was about to tell her a dirty little secret. She placed her hand on Claire’s knee. “How are you? Truly, I mean.”
“I’m…well, I’m fine.” Claire laughed nervously and took a sip of the wine. It tasted good. Sweeter than she’d expected. And she found it to be quite refreshing on such a hot day.
Claire took another sip as she added, “It’s been really, really hard.”
Valerie nodded as if she truly did know. Which, of course, she didn’t.
“I have my good days and bad days. Sometime, it’s just hard to get out of bed. But, other days, like today, I feel I’m making some progress.”
Claire took another nervous sip of her drink. She could already feel her face flush the way it did whenever she’d had more than two sips of alcohol. Jack used to tell her he thought she might be allergic to the sulfites in the wine. She wasn’t sure, but she did know a few sips were often too much for her. Yet, here she was, holding an entire glass. She wasn’t sure how much of it she could actually get through. She knew she should probably put it down and go off in search of a soft drink, but she was so nervous, she wasn’t sure her legs would hold her as she walked across the yard. She hadn’t been around so many people in ages. In her entire life, she’d never gotten past the first few sips. She’d never drunk an entire glass of wine in one sitting. She wasn’t sure if she’d consumed a whole glass of wine over the entire course of her life. Maybe if she plowed through, she’d find she enjoyed it. She’d always wondered what other people found so pleasurable about a glass of wine.
“We’re so thrilled you decided to come today. I’ve missed you so much,” Valerie said, leaning over to give Claire another hug.
Claire noticed tears brimming in Valerie’s eyes and Claire was touched. The two women had never been exceptionally close, but Claire had enjoyed her company. She’d missed Valerie. She’d missed all of them.
“Okay, okay,” Claire said, fanning her face, partly from the heat and partly because she didn’t want her own tears to begin to flow. “No crying. No crying. We’re here to have a good time. It’s been a long time since I had a good time.”
Valerie dabbed at her eyes with the corner of a napkin that had the word Party splashed across it in bright purple.
“You’re right. You’re absolutely right.”
Claire smiled. “Tell me about you. What have you been up to?”
“Life is exhausting. We’re go-go-go all the time. The kids are all in new sports this year. No more soccer.”
Valerie had two children. A girl the same age as Claire’s twins and a boy who was only three days younger than Luke. All the kids had played on a neighborhood soccer league together. Valerie and Claire had held their best conversations at those games.
“Oh, no?” Claire said, taking another sip. A wave of uneasiness began to rock in her belly.
“No! Both kids decided they’d had enough. Liam’s now on the baseball team and Ava’s playing volleyball.”
“Wow. How are they enjoying it?”
Sip.
“Oh, they love it,” Valerie said with a wave of her hand. “It’s me who’s exhausted. When they played the same sport, I just had to cart both of them to the one location and wait till they were done, but now,” she paused for emphasis, “Liam practices at Meadow Elementary on Tuesdays and Thursdays and has games at Linden Middle School on Saturdays and Ava has practice on Tuesday and Wednesdays at Polamer Middle School, but her games are back at Meadow Elementary on Saturdays. Joe and I have to split up the games on Saturdays. We can’t be two places at once.”
Claire nodded.
Sip.
“How’s the schoolwork this year?”
“Well, Ava’s doing really well. You know, at that age, it’s really about learning to read and color. But Liam! He’s struggling. The work has become too much. We spend over an hour on homework each night and most of the time he’s crying and I’m literally yanking out my hair by the roots.”
“Wow.”
Sip.
“And the teacher, Ms. Mandell, I’m pretty certain she doesn’t have any children of her own. She has no patience with Liam. I realize he’s a handful.” She winked at Claire. “You and I both know he’s a handful.”
Claire couldn’t resist smiling. Valerie wasn’t kidding. Liam was a handful. Though Luke had loved having Liam over for play dates, Claire had always braced herself for the trouble those two were bound to get into together. When they were about four, the boys had gotten into the twins’ Desitin. After not hearing them for some time, and realizing that silence most likely meant nothing good, Claire had found them covered, head to toe, in white cream. It was everywhere—their hands, feet, hair, noses, bellies—all over their clothes. They told her they were snowmen. At first, Claire had resisted the urge to giggle and grab for the camera, but after she saw how the cream was wiped all over the carpet in Luke’s room and his walls, his bed and books, she’d had to stifle the urge to scream at the top of her lungs.
“Valerie,” she’d said as calmly as she could when she’d called her friend. “Do you think you could come over here and help me out?”
Valerie had gotten there in less than ten minutes and the two moms had spent well over an hour scrubbing the boys in the tub. It took a bottle and a half of shampoo, with a little Dawn dish soap thrown in, to get all the oily residue off their boys’ skin and hair and out from under their fingernails.
They hadn’t even touched the carpet that day. Claire had announced she was going to leave that for Jack.
Claire hadn’t thought about that memory in ages.
“Remember the time, at my house, when I had eight-pound bags of popcorn kernels stacked in my hallway for the school carnival,” Valerie said.
“And the boys decided they were hungry…”
“And they pulled out the air popper…”
“By the time I got to your house to pick up Luke,” Claire said, “you had seven pounds of kernels on your kitchen floor.”
“And one pound of popped popcorn.”
“They had no idea what they’d done wrong,” Claire said.
“We were just having a party, Mommy!” Valerie mimicked the boys.
Both Claire and Valerie burst into giggles.
Claire took another sip of her wine. She was definitely feeling more relaxed. She’d forgotten about the boys’ hysterical antics.
“What are you ladies laughing at?” Joe pulled his chair closer to his wife and Claire. Claire noticed many of the other parents were now looking at them and smiling.
“Oh, we’re just remembering how much trouble Luke and Liam used to get into together.”
Joe began to laugh, too.
“Remember the time they both climbed up in the big tree in our yard?” he asked.
“And none of us could find them?” Valerie went on.
“You called me and Jack to help in the search.” Claire took another sip of her wine, smiling as the warm liquid slid down her throat.
“We searched the whole neighborhood,” Joe said, beginning to laugh.
“Jack was dialing nine-one-one on his cell phone,” Valerie added, tied up in laughter.
“And the boys jumped out of the tree behind us, yelling, Boo!”
“I don’t think any of us had ever screamed that loud before!” Joe snorted. His face was now bright red. He was having a tough time catching his breath as his body contorted from the laughter.
Claire was laughing, too. She was slapping her legs, her body rocking back and forth, tears streaming down her face. For the first time since the accident, she had tears of laughter and not grief. It felt so good to laugh, like a thousand-pound weight had been lifted off her body and she was suddenly floating midair. It felt wonderful to sit back and listen to the other parents reminisce and drink her wine.
Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Loni approaching with a bottle of wine. Without saying a word, Claire calmed herself enough to lift her glass to their hostess, silently requesting it to be filled. She deserved some wine, didn’t she? She’d earned this laughter. No one had been through such a difficult time ever in the history of mankind. It felt good to drink. Her face was now as cool as the ocean. Her heart was light. She felt like dancing.
Dancing. What a wonderful idea. She hadn’t been dancing in such a long time. Jack had never been much of a dancer. Actually, neither had she. But sometimes, if the music was right, she was known to hit the dance floor. There was music playing at the party, but she noticed no one was dancing. She couldn’t just stand up and begin to dance. Or could she?
“Claire…” Someone was calling her name.
“Yes?” She was torn away from her thoughts as she looked up.
“I just wanted to come over to say hi.”
The voice was coming from a tall, thin women who clearly had a better body than any of the moms here. She was wearing the smallest bikini top Claire had ever seen, in a bright red. A Mexican-inspired sarong was draped low on her hips, which fell below the flattest stomach Claire had ever seen, other than in a Victoria’s Secret catalog.
She’s never given birth. Claire couldn’t help but sigh at the thought that she, too, had once had a body like that. Maybe not as tall, but definitely as thin. She missed that body. She hated her muffin top. She used to tell herself the muffin top was the price she’d paid for her three beautiful children. But now, without those children, the muffin top seemed to have been for naught.
My muffin top sucks.
Sip.
“Yes?” Claire said, feeling a bit dizzy. The woman’s voice seemed a bit familiar, but the setting sun was in Claire’s eyes so she could only see as high as the woman’s boobs. Her perky, round, braless boobs.
Yep. No baby had nursed on those. Claire looked down at her own saggy breasts, glad she’d put on her best push-up bra.
Sip.
“I want to tell you how sorry I am. I loved your kids.”
“I loved them, too,” Claire said and then giggled, not sure why she was giggling. Was her comment funny? It felt funny.
The woman shifted from her left foot to her right and then back again.
“I know you did. I hope you’re doing okay.”
“I’m doing just fine. Great, acthally.” Why did that word sound a little bit off. Acally? Actilly? Something wasn’t quite right about it.
Who cares?
Sip.
“Um…that’s great,” the woman said.
“You know what?” Claire said, suddenly jumping out of her seat. “I’m so good, I’d like to dance.”
“Dance?” The woman sounded startled.
“Yep. Dance. Come dance with me!” She grabbed the woman’s hand and began to pull her toward the dance floor. “Oh! Ms. Harper!” Claire exclaimed, suddenly realizing who the woman was. It was the twins’ preschool teacher. She’d been Luke’s teacher, too, many years ago. All the parents had liked her so much, they’d begun to invite her to all of their dinners once their kids were no longer in her class. Ms. Harper looked so young to Claire. Had she always looked this young? She’d always seemed like a blah preschool teacher to Claire before. But tonight, she looked great. Her hair was down. Her glasses were MIA. She looked hip, in her teeny-tiny bikini top and multicolored sarong. She looked like a party. She looked fun.
Claire needed some fun. No more talking to the other old people, like herself, at this party. She wanted to feel young again.
Free!
Claire pulled Ms. Harper to the dance floor. Did she still need to call her Ms. Harper? That seemed so weird.
“What’s your name?” Claire asked, as she began to sway to the music.
Ms. Harper seemed a bit uncomfortable. She looked around her, but they were the only two on the laminate flooring.
“Um…what?”
“Your name!” Claire yelled out, over the music, holding onto Ms. Harper’s left hand with her right, as she attempted to spin the woman around. Ms. Harper was much too stiff on the dance floor. Maybe she needed some wine.
Wine was awesome. Why hadn’t she known this before? She lifted the glass to her lips with her free hand.
Sip.
“Oh…um…Abigail.”
“Abigail! Abby! Gailey! What do they call you?”
Claire twisted her body under their linked hands.
“Abigail. Just Abigail.”
“Well, that’s okay, Just Abigail. Not everyone can have a cool nickname.”
Abigail was looking everywhere but at Claire. Claire didn’t like that. They were dancing. Together. Abigail should be paying attention. She should be having fun.
“Come on, Just Abigail. Loosen up! Let’s dance!”
Claire let go of Abigail’s hand and spun around the dance floor, her arms outspread.
“Oh, dang it,” she said, as she stopped spinning, eyeing a puddle beneath her. “Some of my wine splashed out onto their dance floor. I bet Loni’s not gonna like that.”
Abigail shook her head. She looked even more uneasy.
Claire leaned in and said, in a whisper, or, at least what she thought was a whisper, “Loni’s a little bit too into her stuff, you know. She’s gonna act like I spilled this wine on her white carpet or on top of her itsy-bitsy, teeny-weeny dog. Have you seen that dog?”
Abigail nodded, a bit uncertainly.
“That dog is the size of a mouse. Or a rat.” Claire laughed aloud. It felt so good to laugh. And she was so funny. She’d never before known she was so funny! “It is totally the size of a rat. It’s a white rat!”
She looked over at the other parents, where she had been sitting moments ago. All eyes were on her.
I bet they never knew I could dance like this!
“Come on, everyone!” Claire said, raising her now-empty wineglass. “Dance with me! It’s getting dark. Let’s dance! This is a party, isn’t it? Let’s party like we’re twenty-one!”
She could see Valerie stand and begin to walk toward her.
“Valerie, could you bring me another glass of wine?”
Valerie paused for a brief second and then continued on her way across the patio.
“The wine, Valerie!” Claire called, waving for her friend to go back to the table. “Don’t forget the wine!”
Claire turned back to Abigail, who was standing still, her arms crossed in front of her.
“You’re not dancing!” Claire waved her finger accusingly at the teacher. “Don’t be a spoil sport. I’ll have to give you detention!”
That cracked Claire up. She was a hoot.
A hand rested on Claire’s shoulder.
“Hey, dear,” a sweet voice said in her ear. “Why don’t we go sit down for a little bit?”
“Sit?” Claire swung her body around to face Valerie. “Why would we do that? I’ve done enough sitting. Do you know how much you sit when you’re in mourning? A lot. You do a whole lot of sitting.”
Valerie nodded in understanding. “I know, dear, but let’s go sit for a little bit longer. Dinner’s out now. Let’s go get something to eat, okay? Maybe you a need a little food.” She tugged at Claire’s arm, but Claire shook off her hand.
She leaned in, a little wobbly on her feet, and whispered into Valerie’s ear. “You know how much food you eat when you’re in mourning? A lot. People bring you cake and casseroles and donuts and cookies. What do they say in To Kill a Mockingbird? Something about ‘with death comes food’? That is soooo true! I got soooo much food!”
“That’s great, dear.”
“Why are you calling me dear? Do you like me?”
“Of course I like you.”
“I like me, too.” Claire winked at Valerie.
“That’s great. Come on; let’s get something to eat.”
“We should dance.” Claire began to spin around again.
“I’m not really a good dancer…”
“You know what? I didn’t think I was, either. But I was wrong!”
The music felt so good. Her body felt so good. Life was so good. She could barely remember how it felt to be sad.
“Mommy?”
A little voice popped up above the beat of the tune.
Instinctively, Claire turned. “What, baby?”
“It’s okay,” Valerie said, to a small girl beside her. “You can have a piece of cake. Tell Daddy I said it was okay.”
Claire stopped spinning and stared at the little girl. It was Ava, but it wasn’t. She was taller. Thinner. Her hair was longer than Claire remembered.
She was older.
How had she gotten older?
The little girl looked up at Claire. “Hi, Ella and Lily’s mom.” She waved at Claire and then ran back toward the house.
Ella and Lily’s mom. She’d forgotten the kids had called her that. Ella and Lily’s mom. She used to think it was so weird the kids had never called her Mrs. Matthews or Ms. Claire. Just “Ella and Lily’s mom” or “Luke’s mom.”
That was her identity.
She stumbled a bit and grabbed onto Valerie’s arm, trying to balance herself.
“Are you hungry?” Valerie said. “You must be. I think it would be good to get some food into that stomach. It’s getting a bit chilly. Did you bring a jacket?”
A jacket? It was getting chilly. She hoped she’d packed jackets for the kids. They always got so cold after swimming.
“Where are the kids?” she asked Valerie.
“Oh, I think they’re all eating their dinners around the pool. Loni had little picnic tables set up for them there.”
“I should go see if they’ve gotten enough to eat. Lily doesn’t always eat enough.”
“Um, Claire, let’s go sit down.” Claire noticed Valerie’s tone was now quite serious.
“I’ll sit later. Let me go check on the kids. Luke tends to eat nothing but dessert. If he’s left to fix his own plate, he’ll fill it with cake and cookies and no dinner.”
Valerie’s grip on her arm tightened.
“Ow. What are you doing?”
“Claire,” Valerie said, her voice now gentle. “Your kids aren’t here.”
“What do you mean they aren’t here? I wouldn’t come without them. They love playing with your kids. They’d be so mad at me if I left them at home!”
Her face was feeling hot again. She could feel the sweat forming on her lip. She pressed the palm of her hand against her cheek, in an attempt to cool her skin.
“Claire, dear, I really think maybe we should go inside. How about I take you into a guest room where you can lie down for a bit?”
“Lie down?” Claire could hear her own voice rising. “Why would I want to lie down? Who’s going to watch my kids if I lie down? You know Jack never keeps a close enough eye on them.”
A crowd had somehow formed around her. Other moms and dads. They were all looking at her. What was their problem?
She yanked her arm free from Valerie’s grasp and pushed past the couple in front of her, two lesbian moms who had a son in Luke’s grade. Mindy and Cindy. Something stupid like that.
“Excuse me,” Claire said. “I need to get through.”
She tripped over something. She wasn’t sure what. Maybe her own flip-flops. She caught hold of Joe’s arm, just as he got close to her, and steadied herself.
“Where you headed, Claire?” The voice was gentle, but firm. It was posed as a question, but it somehow sounded like a command.
“Oh hey, Joe,” Claire said. “I’m heading over to the pool. Valerie said the kids were eating there.” She looked around his chunky frame. She could see a number of children running in the distance and could hear their laughter and screams. She hoped the girls were wearing their swimming vests. They weren’t good swimmers yet. She’d been meaning to put them in lessons, but somehow, had never gotten around to it.
“Yep, I think they are. But why don’t we go inside and get you some food, too?” He stepped in front of her, blocking her view.
“What is with you people?” Claire said, irritation filling her voice. “I said I want to go see my kids.”
“Claire! Claire! What is going on?” Suddenly, Loni was in front of Claire. “Did I give you a little bit too much wine?”
Loni’s voice was light and teasing, but Claire could sense a tension under it.
“No, you didn’t give me too much wine. I’m tired from dancing and want to check on my kids before I eat dinner. Is there a problem with that?”
The color sapped out of Loni’s face. Claire could see it literally drain down from her forehead to her chin, a smooth cascade of peach that left nothing but chalky white in its wake.
“But, Claire,” Loni said, her voice shaking. “Your kids aren’t here.”
“What do you mean?” Claire was getting fed up with Loni and all the other parents at this party. “I wouldn’t come to a pool party without my kids. They love to swim.”
Claire could feel Valerie’s hand back on her arm and she fiercely shook it off.
“Hands to yourself, Val!” When did people become so touchy-feely?
“Claire, your children are gone.”
“What do you mean they’re gone?” Claire stepped closer to Loni so their noses were nearly touching. Claire wasn’t one to get into a fight, especially not a physical one, but damn it, these people were pissing her off. “I didn’t give my kids permission to go anywhere.”
What had they done with her kids?
No one messed with Claire’s kids.
“Claire, they passed away.” The words were so soft. A whisper on the wind. But the sting was so intense, Claire felt the knife enter her heart.
They what?
That had been a dream, hadn’t it? Her babies weren’t really gone. They couldn’t be gone. She was here at this pool party. She was with all the other parents. She could see their kids running around the yard, diving off the board into the deep end of the pool. Her kids must be in the midst of it all. They were always at the center of the fun.
They were the center of the fun.
They were her fun.
Shaking free of all the hands that were suddenly upon her, she shoved past Loni and began to run toward the pool. Her heart pounded to the beat of her feet racing on the soft ground. Loni was wrong. All those people were wrong. She’d show them. Her kids were here. They were eating pasta and pickles and ice cream and brownies. Just like all the other kids. They would have messy faces and chocolate dripped on their bathing suits.
“Lily! Ella!” Claire called as she reached the gaggle of children. “Where are you, girls? It’s time to go.”
The children were running around her in circles, playing some sort of game of tag. Or maybe hide-and-go-seek. Her girls must be hiding.
Claire spotted Luke at the picnic table at the far end of the yard. His blond hair was tousled from playing in the pool for so long. She imagined his fingertips were prunes and his lips must be blue from the cold. He never could handle the cold very well. She could see him talking and laughing with a bunch of boys. His body quaked with glee at something the boy in front of him said. His back was tan and smooth. She wanted to wrap her arms around that smooth skin and hold it to her.
“Luke!” she called out. “Where are your sisters? Have you seen them? I can’t find them.”
Luke didn’t turn around, but kept giggling with his friends.
He never pays attention.
“Luke!” she called louder. “Luke!”
She reached the table as the group of boys let out of whoop of laughter. She grabbed his shoulder to spin him around.
“Luke! You need to listen to me when I call you! Where are your sisters?”
Luke turned his head and looked into her eyes. Only it wasn’t Luke. It was Timmy Cox, one of Luke’s Boy Scout buddies. He stared at her as if he’d seen a ghost.
“Timmy! I’m sorry. I thought you were Luke. Do you know where he is? I can’t find him or the girls.”
Timmy’s eyes filled with tears and fright. He looked around her.
“Mom?” he said, calling out into the distance.
“Timmy, I asked you a question.” Claire put her hands on his shoulders. “Do you know where Luke is? I said I can’t find him.”
Timmy wouldn’t make eye contact with Claire again. Frozen in place, he called out again. “Mom!”
Rachel Cox came running from behind. “It’s okay, honey.” She sat down on the bench and put her arms around her son, pulling him from Claire’s grasp.
“Oh, Rachel. I’m so glad you’re here. I was just asking Timmy if he’s seen Luke.”
Rachel’s eyes were also brimming with tears. Timmy buried his head in his mom’s lap and she rubbed his head.
“You’re scaring him,” Rachel whispered to Claire.
“What do you mean I’m scaring him? You’re all scaring me! I just want to know where my kids are. Why won’t anyone tell me?”
She felt another hand on her forearm. Valerie was back again. Claire tried to shrug her off, but this time Valerie’s grasp was tight.
“Okay, Claire. Enough. Let’s get away from the kids. We’ll go talk inside.”
“I will not talk inside. I will not go anywhere until I find my kids.”
She saw Loni running in their direction. If she hadn’t been so distraught, Claire would have laughed. Loni and running did not go together. She held her skirt up on both sides. A nineteenth-century shop woman chasing hooligans out of her store.
Claire twisted her body around in anger. “You!” She pointed an accusing finger at her host. “You did something to my kids! It was your idea for us to come here.”
A panic-stricken look rose on Loni’s face. “Will someone please get her inside before the neighbors call the cops? She’s becoming hysterical.”
“Call the cops!” Claire screamed. She felt more hands on her forearms and she shook to get free of them. “I’ll tell them you’ve kidnapped my children!”
All eyes were upon her now. She could feel them. The music had stopped. No one was talking. A few kids, oblivious to the ruckus, were giggling off in the distance, but the ones standing close to Claire were silent and still.
With one strong yank, she pulled herself loose from the people gripping her and ran toward the pool. She felt dizzy and lightheaded and very, very tired. But she needed to find her kids. They’d all go home together and get in her bed and she could finally sleep—when they were safe under her sheets and in her arms.
Reaching the pool, she saw three girls in the deep end. The twins? It was hard to tell.
“Ella! Lily! Is that you?”
It was dark and the pool wasn’t well lit. It didn’t seem very safe. It was getting too late to be in the pool.
“Girls! Time to get out! It’s time to go home.”
The girls continued to swim, diving down to the bottom to collect quarters someone had thrown there. One girl would whack each of the other girls on the head with a pool noodle as they emerged. They giggled uncontrollably.
“Girls!” Claire leaned in closer. “I already gave you five minutes. It’s time to go!”
All three girls dove down to the bottom again. She was going to have a word with them when they came up again. It wasn’t like her kids to be this disobedient.
“Claire!” She could hear Valerie and Loni and Joe and maybe some of the other parents closing in behind her. She’d had enough. She needed to grab her kids and get out of here—away from these insane people. How had she ever thought they were her friends?
“Girls!” The girls were up again. “It’s time to go!”
She leaned in some more. They were still giggling.
“Girls!” Claire shrieked. And, just as the swoosh of the last syllable left her mouth, Claire lost her balance. Her flip-flop slipped into the pool, her right foot following. She tumbled, headfirst, the cool, dark water enveloping her.
Out of the corner of her eye, she saw the girls turn her way—their eyes a mixture of surprise and alarm. Dark brown eyes, all of them. Eyes that didn’t belong to her girls.
Claire felt herself falling. Dropping deep and hard and far from the life she always knew.
It was a steep fall. A painful one.
One from which she knew she wouldn’t rise anytime soon.