Patrick was sitting under a tree in the front of the house, smoking his pipe, when Callum and Claire got home later that evening.
“Did Callum show you a good time today?” he asked Claire, as she and Callum got out of the car.
“It was incredible,” she said, her face still flushed with the excitement of the day. “I’ve never before been anywhere more beautiful.”
“I’m exhausted and want to get these legs off,” Callum said to Claire. “Are you coming in?”
She glanced at Callum’s dad and the empty chair next to him. “If your dad doesn’t mind, I think I’ll stay outside with him a bit.”
“I’m not a man who can turn down the company of a lovely woman,” Patrick said.
“Okay, have fun,” Callum said, heading into the house. “Try not to scare her away; okay, Dad?”
“I’ll do my best, son.”
Claire sat down next to Patrick and stretched out her legs.
“I’m exhausted, too. I can see why Callum wants to get those legs off. Mine are stiff from being cramped in that small car all day.”
“You wish you could take yours off, too?” He grinned.
“For a bit,” she said, smiling.
“How are you enjoying Ireland?”
“I’m having a wonderful time. I’ve never been overseas before and I couldn’t imagine a better first international trip than this one. You and your family have made me feel very welcome.”
Patrick smiled. “I’m glad you feel that way. We’ve loved having you here. We were all very happy when Callum told us he’d met you and fallen in love. As a father, you hope and pray your child will find happiness in life. Unfortunately, we weren’t always sure that’d be possible for Callum.”
Claire remained silent. There was no need to ask Patrick to clarify his statement.
“I hope you’ll allow me to speak my mind,” he said.
“Of course.”
“As I’m sure you’re aware, Callum told us all about your family before we met you. I haven’t mentioned it to you before now, though Nora did tell me she and you had a talk about it.”
Claire nodded.
“Having a son born like Callum certainly wasn’t easy. We had no idea. No warning.”
Claire nodded again. She knew about their unwelcome surprise. Callum always mentioned it during his speeches.
“So, I gather Nora told you we understand a little bit about your loss, because we experienced a loss of sorts when Callum was born.”
Patrick took a puff at his pipe. Claire wasn’t sure if he expected her to say something or not.
“I had a little brother,” Patrick continued. “He was ten years younger than me. A surprise to my parents. They thought they were done having children. I already had four older brothers.”
“That’s a lot of boys.”
Patrick smiled. “Indeed it was. His name was Tomas and, from the moment he was born, he was my favorite person in all the world. My older brothers were gone, by then, with lives of their own, and my mam and dad, they were pretty tired of raising kids by that point. They didn’t neglect Tomas, in any way. He was loved and well taken care of, but they no longer had it in them to entertain and play with a small child.
“Tomas was my little shadow. He followed me everywhere and, despite being a pre-teenage boy, I didn’t mind it one bit. He could always make me laugh. Also bring a smile to my face. My friends were all used to him always tagging along. Dare I say it, he was the light of all our lives.”
Claire smiled at Patrick’s memory of such a sweet child.
“When I was fifteen years old, I went away for a month to an apprentice program. I think in the States, you’d say I was working as a page in the senate. You know, where young people work on the senate floor, delivering legislative materials and correspondence in the governmental complex. It was a great opportunity for me, especially since I was already showing an interest in the law. My parents were so proud when I was selected.
“Tomas, though, was heartbroken. He couldn’t bear the thought of me going away for so long. He was only five and to him, four weeks seemed like an eternity. I held him on my lap and promised him I’d be back before he knew it. And, if he was a very good boy, I’d bring him some special treat from my travels.”
Claire didn’t know where this story was going, but she suddenly had a feeling the ending wasn’t going to be a happy one.
“One night, while I was sleeping in my dorm, I had a terrible dream. More disturbing than any one I’d ever had before. It seemed so real. I’d dreamt that Tomas was missing and no one could find him, but I could hear him. He was screaming my name. Over and over again. I heard him call to me, but no matter where I looked, or how fast I ran towards the sound, I couldn’t find him. It bothered me so much that the next day, I called home and asked my mam to put him on the telephone. She said he was playing out in the barn with some of our young cousins and to call back later that night.
“I went back to work, but couldn’t shake the feeling of uneasiness. As soon as we broke for tea, I ran to the phone and called my house again. There was no answer. It rang and rang and the knot in my stomach grew. I knew something was wrong.
“It took me forever to fall asleep that night, but not long after I did, I was awakened by our house mother. The police were with her. There’d been a fire at my parents’ home. The barn had burned down. We later learned Tomas and our little cousins had been playing with matches. All three of them perished, along with many of our animals.”
Claire gasped and put her hand to her mouth.
“That’s awful. I’m so sorry.”
Patrick turned and looked at Claire, a softness in his eyes, but no tears.
“My mother never recovered from the loss. She didn’t live much longer after that. Not even ten years, and I believe most of those were spent in bed. The loss of a child, her baby, was more than she could bear.”
Claire closed her eyes. She could feel Patrick’s mother’s agony. It was her own.
“I was never the same after that, either. I’d lost the person I loved most in the world. You never get over that, do you?”
Claire shook her head.
“I’m not telling you this to be morbid. I’m sorry if I’ve put a damper on your day. I just want you to know I saw what losing my little brother did to me and especially to my mom. It destroyed her. Completely.”
“I understand that feeling.”
“You are a remarkable woman, Claire. Not only do you make my son happier than I’ve ever seen him before, and love him for who he is in a way I’ve never seen him accepted by anyone else, but the fact that you’re here, today, talking to me and laughing with our family, making a new life for yourself, I want you to know how much I admire you.”
“That’s sweet of you to say.”
“I’m not just saying it to be kind. My mother couldn’t do it. And before Tomas’s death, she was the strongest person I knew. No nonsense. But losing him was a blow she couldn’t get back up from. I wished, year after year, she would somehow find the strength to carry on, but she never did. She didn’t have it in her. When he died, for all intents and purposes, she did, too. You have done what is nearly impossible, Claire. Every day you move a step forward, you honor your family. Your husband and children must be so proud of you. I’m aware you don’t know me all that well, but I want you to know, I’m proud of you, too.”
Claire’s eyes welled with tears. She wasn’t sure why knowing Callum’s dad was proud of her meant so much. She barely knew him. But somehow, she was honored by his words.
“So, now that I’ve nearly ruined the happy mood of the day, let’s try to salvage it by going inside and helping ourselves to some of Nora’s biscuits. She’s been baking all day.”
“Because I haven’t gained enough weight on this trip?”
Patrick stood and patted his belly.
“Nora shows her love through her cooking, as you can see. She’s loved me in abundance all these years. She loves you a great deal, too. We all do.”
With a smile, he put his arm around Claire’s shoulders as together, they walked toward the house.
• • •
Claire said good-bye to Ireland much too soon. She’d never before been so sorry to leave a place as she was to leave Callum’s home country.
“Oh, stop your crying,” Nora had said to Claire as they hugged good-bye. “You’ll be back. And we’ll be in the States to visit all of you in no time. I hear Mitch has a craving for my biscuits,” she said, winking at Callum over Claire’s shoulder.
“He was so disappointed when you had to cancel your trip last fall ’cause Dad got the flu. He says he loves visiting with you, both, but I know he was after Ma’s pastries.”
“As he should be,” Patrick had said, hugging Claire next. “Your ma is the best cook in Ireland.”
Claire had agreed with Patrick. Nora was a spectacular cook and baker. There had not been a single biscuit or meal she’d prepared that Claire had not devoured in an instant.
Except for the black pudding.
There was no way Claire was going near that black pudding.
“So,” Claire had said, when she first laid eyes on the round puck on her plate. “This is blood?”
“Aye,” Callum had said, cutting into his.
“Like, real blood?” Claire had asked.
“Yes.”
“Pig’s blood?”
“Uh-huh,” Callum had said, putting a forkful in his mouth. “But, you know, it’s mixed with a few other things. Oatmeal, pork fat, an onion.”
“But mostly it’s blood,” Claire had repeated.
“Yes,” Callum had said, cutting off another piece.
“There is no way I can eat that,” Claire had said, resisting the urge to gag.
“That’s fine.”
“And I need you not to eat it, too.”
“What? Why can’t I eat it?” Callum had asked.
“Because, if I see you take one more bite of that, I’m going to throw up all over your mom’s table and that won’t make any of us happy.”
Callum had muttered something under his breath, but he’d put down his forkful of black pudding and not eaten it again on the visit. At least, not while Claire was around.
Other than being repulsed by the popular Irish delicacy, the trip to Ireland had been the best journey of Claire’s life and she was definitely sad to see the time there end.
As soon as they returned to the States, though, Claire was too busy preparing for their next excursion to even think about Ireland. The team would be in America for less than a month before heading over to Europe and then the northern part of Africa. They’d be gone for two full months.
There was plenty to do. Callum was busy working on the seminars, tailoring them so they were appropriate for the foreign countries and the needs of those people, in addition to lining up local speakers and leaders to conduct sessions. Wyatt occupied his time ordering wheelchairs, walkers and canes and arranging to have them shipped to their destinations so they could be dispersed to those who needed them in each country. Alison was making sure flights and hotels and transportation were in order. Mitch was working to ensure they knew, in advance, which locations were designed to be handicapped accessible and which were not. Many European, and especially African, countries were not as wheelchair-friendly as America. Claire and Frank were busy selecting and rehearsing new music, songs that would work best so that the meaning was well understood in each country. They were also tasked with lining up translators for their music and Callum’s talks in numerous languages.
To say the team was working at peak capacity would have been an understatement.
They were so busy, Claire almost forgot Gia was coming for a visit the week before they left.
“Hey, love. Don’t you need to leave for the airport?” Callum asked.
Claire looked at the clock on the desk. She’d been busy corresponding, via email, with a translator who spoke both French and Hungarian.
“Damn,” Claire said, jumping up from her chair. “If I don’t hurry, Gia will be standing at baggage claim, wondering where I am.”
“Drive safely,” Callum said, as she leaned down to his chair to kiss him.
“Always.”
Claire was careful to maintain the speed limit as she drove, but it wasn’t easy. Not only was she aware Gia’s flight had landed twenty minutes earlier, but she was so incredibly excited to see her best friend. It had been close to six months since they were together and Claire couldn’t believe it. On one hand, the time had flown by. Claire had been so busy and often barely had time to sleep, but on the other, she’d missed Gia terribly and couldn’t believe she’d had to live without her closest friend for so long. The two had never been apart for more than a couple weeks, ever since they roomed together in college.
Claire sped through the airport’s arrivals’ lane and prayed no cops were hanging around, waiting to meet their speeding ticket quota for the month. Gia had texted Claire and told her she was waiting outside, having already picked up her bags.
Claire came to a hard stop in front of where Gia was standing, quickly threw the car in park and jumped out. Running, Claire practically jumped on Gia in the excitement to get her arms around her friend.
“Whoah. Whoah,” Gia said, laughing. “It’s not like we’ve been apart for years.”
“Just six months,” Claire said, letting go, but grabbing hold of Gia’s hand. “Six long months. I’ve missed you so much.” She felt the tears well up in her eyes. She’d known she missed Gia, but she hadn’t realized she’d missed her friend this much.
“No crying. No crying,” Gia said, laughing. “Or you’ll make me cry, too.”
“Okay,” Claire said, wiping away the tears. “No crying. This is a happy day. I’m so glad you’re here.” She picked up Gia’s small carry-on bag and swung the strap over her own shoulder.
“I can tell!” Gia said, an enormous smile on her face. “But it’s not like you’ve been pining away for me in your hotel rooms. Rumor has it you’ve been busy with a certain man.” Gia’s voice faded, her tone teasing, her laughter light.
“I might have been a little bit preoccupied,” Claire said coyly. “Come on; let’s get to the car and back to my place.”
“I wish you could stay longer,” Claire said, when they were finally on the highway.
“I know, but I could only get one day off work. At least we have the full weekend.”
“True. I’ll take what I can get.”
“So, when do I get to meet him?”
“Meet who?” Claire asked, though she knew.
“Callum, of course! When do I get to meet this man who seems to walk on water?”
“Actually, he doesn’t do much walking at all,” Claire joked.
“So what does he do?” Gia asked, her voice sly and knowing.
“We haven’t actually done that yet,” Claire admitted.
“You haven’t done that yet?” Gia said, her shock permeating the car. “How long have you been together now?”
“Long enough,” Claire moped.
“What’s the deal? Is it because of…you know…” Gia waved her arm around her whole body, which Claire took to indicate her limbs, or, more likely, Callum’s missing ones.
“Well, not in the sense of him not being able to complete the act. I’ve been reassured that all things are in working order.”
“So, then, what’s the deal? After he said that, did he say any more about putting those working parts to actual work?”
Claire sighed. She wanted to laugh. Gia was trying to be funny, but it was a topic that had begun to trouble her quite a bit. She and Jack hadn’t had sex until their wedding night. She’d been young and viewed sex as sacred. She still viewed it that way. She’d wanted to wait to lose her virginity as a bride.
But, she really had no plans to marry Callum. She had very little desire to ever marry again. It wasn’t that she didn’t love Callum. She loved him deeply, with a love she hadn’t known she was capable of feeling, or giving ever again. But she’d already been married and the end of that marriage had devastated her. She couldn’t bear to experience such a loss, ever again.
That didn’t mean, though, she didn’t desire a physical relationship with Callum. She was incredibly attracted to him and though she was still nervous about seeing all of him at once, that fear was lessening over time. Claire wanted, and it was bordering on needed, something more. Something deeper. She wasn’t sure, though, why Callum didn’t seem to be moving in that same direction.
“Honestly, I don’t know. I mean, I really, really don’t understand,” Claire said, glancing away from the road for a minute. “We’re pretty serious about each other. We’re together all the time. He’s very passionate when he kisses me.”
“And then?”
“And then he’s not. He’s not rude when he pushes me away. There’s no out-and-out rejection. He just eases away when I try to do more, or he changes the subject. It’s weird. A little awkward,” she said. “Okay, very awkward.”
“Have you asked him about it?”
“No.”
“Why not? I thought you’ve said you two talk about everything.”
“I guess I should have said ‘almost’ everything.”
“Well, you need to add this to your list of things that need to be discussed pronto,” Gia said. “I mean, come on, Claire. You must be horny as hell!”
Claire shook her head and glanced over at her friend. “Nice, Gia. Nice.”
Gia laughed. “Okay, well, maybe I’m projecting my sexual frustration onto you.”
“Are you kidding me?” Claire asked in exasperation. “You’re single again? What happened to the mechanic?”
“His hands were too dirty.”
“But this one didn’t touch dead people. Didn’t he get extra points for that?” Claire sighed loudly.
“Maybe you can introduce me to someone here,” Gia said. She was clearly joking. She knew Claire was not a skilled matchmaker and Claire had given up even trying. She’d set Gia up on three dates over the course of their friendship and none of them had made it past date one. There had been no fettuccini alfredo for them. Claire had stopped trying after that.
“Yeah, okay. I’ll think about that.”
Claire turned the car into the parking lot of her apartment complex.
“Home, sweet home.”
Gia scanned the large brick building in front of them.
“Is it weird living in an apartment again?”
“No, it’s fine. Easy to keep clean.” She knew Gia was thinking about the large home Claire had waiting for her back in Florida. Claire thought about it, on occasion, too. Though she tried to minimize the time she spent dwelling on it. That house, though full of happy memories, was also a great source of sadness for Claire. She hadn’t yet decided what to do about it. She realized she’d probably sell it, in time. She just wasn’t ready for that yet.
Claire glanced at the clock on the dashboard.
“Okay,” she said. “We have about an hour until we’re meeting Callum for dinner. Let’s go in, you can shower and get all freshened up, and we’ll head out. And I wouldn’t mind taking a thirty-minute nap.”
• • •
The two women were dressed and ready to go exactly one hour later and a short time after that, were walking into the restaurant where they were to meet Callum. He’d texted Claire, ten minutes earlier, to say he was already at the table.
Claire spotted him the minute they walked in the door and waved.
“He’s in the back,” Claire said to Gia, as she led her friend to him. Callum looked exceptionally handsome tonight. The bright blue of his shirt brought out the deep sparkle in his eyes and Claire could tell he’d made an effort to try to tame down his curls, as opposed to letting them run wild. She wondered if Alison had insisted on it.
“Callum, this is Gia. Gia, Callum,” Claire said, waving her hand between the two of them.
Callum put out his hand to shake Gia’s.
“I hope you’ll forgive me if I don’t stand up,” Callum said, his eyes glinting with humor.
“Oh, um,” Gia faltered. “No. That’s fine.” She looked at Claire, uncertainly.
“Callum thinks he’s funny,” Claire said easily, kissing Callum on the lips before she took her place next to him.
“Thinks?” Callum said. “Thinks? I am quite funny, love.”
“Oh, yeah,” Claire said, rolling her eyes. “As Wyatt would say, you’re a hoot and a howl.”
Gia giggled. “Claire has been telling me a lot about Wyatt and his colorful expressions.”
“Oh, Wyatt is something else,” Callum said.
“I’m hoping Gia will have the chance to meet him while she’s here,” Claire said, lifting the menu.
“So, Gia,” Callum said, turning his body to indicate she was about to have his full attention. “I hear you know Claire better than anyone else. Please tell me all about her, starting in college. And, don’t leave anything out. The more embarrassing the story, the better.”
“Oh, brother,” Claire said, refusing to lift her eyes from her menu. She could only imagine the stories Gia would share. She certainly had enough of them, especially from their wild college days. But that was okay. Claire didn’t mind Gia telling Callum anything she might want to reveal. She had no secrets from Callum, from either of them. And if bonding over her silly teenage antics would bring her two favorite people closer together, then they could laugh at her expense, all evening long.
And laugh they did. The only person who found Callum even funnier than Callum found himself seemed to be Gia. By the time the waitress brought over the dessert menus, Claire could tell Callum had won Gia over. Which, of course, came as no surprise to Claire. Callum had a way with people. He not only put them at ease, despite how awkward things might be when they first saw his body, but he brought out the best in people. They relaxed around him. They laughed.
He made them feel important.
Claire loved that about him.
Claire loved a million things about him.
“Okay, ladies,” Callum said, placing his napkin on the table, at the end of the meal. “I’m going to have to take my leave now. I’m sorry.”
“Oh? Already?” Claire said with disappointment. She’d been having so much fun with the two of them, she didn’t want the evening to end.
“Already,” Callum said sadly. “I have a stack of work that I need to get done and it’s taking me longer than I thought. Besides, I’m sure you want me to leave so you can talk about me.” Callum winked at Gia and she smiled.
“It’s only fair, “Gia said. “You made me spill the dirt on Claire. She should get to do the same on you.”
“True, true.” Callum rolled his chair over to Gia. “It was lovely to meet you, Gia. Claire has told me what a good friend you’ve been to her and for that, I could never thank you enough. A friend of Claire’s will always be a friend of mine.”
“Thanks,” Gia said, a smile crossing her face.
“Do you think I could give you a hug?” Callum asked. “A handshake feels so formal, now that you’ve told me all about how Claire used to flash for beads at Mardi Gras. Who knew she was such a trollop?”
“You two think you’re so funny,” Claire muttered as Gia and Callum burst into laughter.
“Of course, you can have a hug!” Gia said to Callum, with enthusiasm, ignoring Claire’s grumbling.
Gia bent down to give Callum his hug and they parted ways, still smiling over the delightful evening they’d had together.
Gia waited until Callum was out of the dining room before she turned to Claire.
“He’s amazing,” she gushed.
Claire beamed. “I know. He is, isn’t he?”
“He’s so handsome. Even more so in person than in the pictures I’ve seen. And those eyes…”
“Okay, down, boy. He’s mine,” Claire said, though she couldn’t help but grin. She’d known Gia would love Callum and she was so happy to see herself proven correct.
“And he clearly adores you. He barely took his eyes off you the whole evening.”
“You mean, when he wasn’t staring at you, pleading for more embarrassing stories about me.”
“Oh, yes. When he wasn’t doing that.”
“But…”
Claire looked up, startled. She hadn’t expected a ‘but.’ ”
Gia continued, “Are you sure you know what you’re doing?”
Claire eyes widened. “What I’m doing?”
Gia shrugged.
“What I’m doing,” Claire continued. “Is spending time with the man I love. I’m in a relationship with an incredible man. You said so yourself.”
“An incredible and incredibly disabled man.”
“Gia!” Claire’s voice rose in shock. “You, of all people; never did I think you’d see his limitations first.”
Gia reached across the table to grab Claire’s hand, but Claire pulled it away.
“Claire, I didn’t see them first. In fact, he’s so amazing, it’s easy not to see them at all. But because you tend to forget he’s missing his limbs, doesn’t mean they aren’t still missing.”
“Honestly, Gia.” Claire couldn’t believe what she was hearing. She had never, before, been so disappointed in her friend.
“Hear me out, Claire.”
Claire shook her head in disgust.
“I mean it, Claire,” Gia said firmly. “You’ve been through so much in your life…losing your parents…then losing Jack and the kids. Isn’t it time for you to catch a break?”
“Catch a break?”
“No matter how wonderful he is, and he is wonderful, a relationship with Callum is going to come with a whole new set of challenges, things you can’t do together. Perhaps additional health concerns. Even the way people look at the two of you.”
“Do you think I care about the way people look at me?” Claire asked, her voice stone cold.
“No, I don’t. But, Claire, you have to recognize you’re just in the beginning stages of a romance. Everything seems great. All obstacles feel like they can be met with force. But once you and Callum get into the rut of being together for a long time, will the extra work and pressure his disability puts on you become more of a burden than a challenge?”
“You don’t understand.”
“Claire, I do. You’re in love. No one is more thrilled to see you happy than me. I don’t want to see you get hurt again and, to be honest, this looks like it could have hurt written all over it. Or, if not that, then a whole lot of struggles that might best be avoided.”
“But, don’t you see? That’s what draws me to him. Sure, I could find a nice man to fall in love with who’s never experienced tremendous pain, but how could he ever possibly understand me?
“Gia,” Claire continued. “Before I met Callum, I had no idea how I’d ever move on. And then, I met him. He’s full of joy, Gia. Joy. He deals with more challenges in one day than most people face in their entire life and yet, he’s happy. Ridiculously happy, as he puts it.” She reached across the table and put her hand on Gia’s. “And he makes me happy, too.”
“I am happy for you, Claire. Really. I am. I’m just worried,” Gia said, shrugging.
The two woman sat quietly staring at one another, a chasm of shared sadness and pain between them.
Finally, Claire shook her head, as if to shake the melancholy away.
“Oh, hush,” she said, patting Gia’s hand before removing her own. “You know what your problem is? You worry too much.”
“Oh, is that what my problem is?” Gia asked, smiling slightly. “I thought it was I couldn’t meet a man who doesn’t still live with his mother.”
“That, too,” Claire said, grinning before her face grew serious once more. “It’s gonna work out, Gia. I can feel it.”
Gia sighed deeply, a sigh of resignation and fear for her friend. “Okay. If this is what you really want, what will make you happy, then I’ll support you one hundred percent.”
“It is.”
“But, sweetie,” Gia said, leaning in closer to Claire, “if it’s ever not what you want anymore, I’ll support that, too.”
“I know,” Claire said, her eyes brimming with tears. What had she ever done to deserve a friend like Gia? “That’s why you’re my best friend.”
“Really?” Gia said, leaning back in her seat again. “I thought it was because I knew all your secrets and letting me go would be a liability.”
“You didn’t seem to have an issue with revealing my secrets tonight,” Claire mumbled, but she was smiling.
Gia lifted her water glass in the air. “To joy!”