Claire leaned against the door of Callum’s home office. He was at his desk, staring at the screen of his laptop. If he knew Claire was there, he didn’t acknowledge it. Yet, in the five minutes Claire had been standing there, he also hadn’t typed a single word, so she knew he wasn’t concentrating on work.
“I never thought I’d say this, Callum,” Claire said, breaking the silence. “But you’re a hypocrite.”
Callum lifted his head and met her eyes. He remained silent.
“You go around the world, telling people how God has a plan for their lives. You write books about it. Best sellers. People buy into what you’re selling. I’ve seen you tell disabled orphans to believe there’s a plan for them, too.”
Callum’s eyes were steady on Claire, but he didn’t move.
“And then, when something happens in your own life—something you don’t like, something you weren’t planning on—you decide God must’ve made a mistake,” Claire continued. “I can’t live like that, Callum. I can’t trust some things happen for a reason and others are happenstance. And the Callum I married couldn’t live like that, either.”
Claire started to leave, but then stopped in the doorframe and turned back to him.
“The way I see it,” she said. “You either believe what you preach or you don’t. If you can’t accept this pregnancy is meant to be—for whatever reason, no matter what the outcome—then maybe it’s time for you to look for a new profession.”
Without glancing back at Callum, Claire turned and walked away.
• • •
Claire’s hands glided over the ivory keys. She rarely played the piano these days. Hadn’t really played it in years. Callum had bought her a beautiful baby grand as a wedding gift and though she loved to look at it, to sit at it and gently touch the keys, she’d barely played a single song since he’d given her the gift. Playing the piano had been something she did years ago, first when she dreamed of a music career and then, later, as entertainment for her children. They’d sit on her lap, their hands on top of hers, as she’d play lullabies to soothe them and rock songs that would make them squeal with glee.
She hadn’t played, just for herself, in a very long time.
But tonight, her heart was heavy. She could think of no better way to express her melancholy than through music.
She played the first song that came to mind. “Too Ra Loo Ra Loo Ra.” The song she used to sing to her children before they went to bed.
“My mam used to sing this song to me when I was a tiny lad in Ireland,” Callum said, startling Claire. She hadn’t heard him come in behind her.
“Really?” Claire quietly asked. “I used to sing it to my kids every night before bed.”
She continued to play the tune, soft and sweet.
“I’m a jerk,” Callum said.
Claire smiled as she continued to play but said nothing.
“I guess you agree.”
“You’re not a jerk, Callum.” Claire sighed. “You’re scared. I get that. You have a right to feel that way.”
“And you don’t?”
“Have a right? Sure,” she said, though she knew that wasn’t what he’d meant. “And it’s not that I’m not frightened. It’s just I’m more excited than scared.”
Callum ran his fingers up and down her arm as she played.
“How do you do that?” he asked her.
“What? Play the piano and talk at the same time?”
“No. Trust everything will be okay?”
“Maybe because I’ve already lost everything. In a way, so have you. How much bad luck can two people have in a lifetime?”
“I’m scared to find out.” Callum’s voice was so very small.
“I never thought I’d be given this chance, I mean, to be a mom again, to carry a baby inside of me. I refuse to see it as anything but a blessing.”
“It’s not a blessing if I lose you.”
“You won’t.”
Callum moved closer and rested his forehead on her shoulder.
“Promise?” he begged.
“I promise,” Claire said, leaning her head so it touched his.
“I want to be excited.”
“I know.”
“Be patient, okay? I’ll come around.”
“I’ll be right here waiting for you when you do,” Claire said.
“I love you, Claire Fitzgerald.” He put his hand on her belly. “And I love her, too.”
“Her, huh?” Claire said, softly playing the upper keys.
“Yep. Her. A little girl as precious as her mam.”
“Too La Loo Ra Loo Ra. Too La Loo Ra Li. To La Loo Ra Loo Ra. Hush now, don’t you cry.”
Claire’s voice filled the room—beautiful and sweet—as she sang, gently, to the baby she was beginning to love, and the man she loved even more.
• • •
“Look who I found at the airport,” Callum said, rolling into their bedroom, a very excited Gia behind him.
“Gia!” Claire exclaimed upon seeing her friend. “I’m so glad you’re here! You have no idea. I was afraid your flight might be cancelled because of the snow.”
Gia headed straight to the bed and climbed in next to Claire before giving her best friend a hug.
“You think a little snow would keep me away?” Gia said.
“I’m going to leave you ladies alone now. I’m sure you don’t want me around for all your girl talk. You don’t mind if I go into the office for a bit, do you?”
“No, that’s fine,” Claire said.
Callum leaned down to kiss Claire.
“Have fun catching up.”
“I love you,” Claire said.
“Ditto, love. Glad you’re here, Gia. Claire is sick of me hovering over her like a mama bear.”
“Now I’ll get to do the hovering,” Gia said, patting Claire’s ample belly. “And take care of my goddaughter.”
“You’re in good hands,” Callum said to Claire as he left the room.
“Sweetie,” Gia said, turning to Claire once Callum was gone. “That is one huge belly.”
“I know,” Claire said, grinning. “She’s going to be a big girl.”
“What does the doctor say?”
“Everything’s going smoothly. I’m supposed to stay in bed until my c-section next week, but thank heavens this bedrest thing is almost over.”
Claire had been on bedrest for one hundred and thirty-three days, not that she was counting. At her insistence, she and Callum had both completed the first six-week tour they’d already planned. Callum had wanted to cancel it, but Claire insisted she wasn’t even showing yet.
“The baby is the size of half a pea, right now,” she told him. “It’s hardly going to rip me apart.”
Still, Callum was always around to drive Claire insane.
You shouldn’t be carrying that.
You shouldn’t be standing for so long.
You shouldn’t be lying in that position for the entire night.
Claire usually appeased him and gave in to whatever it was he was concerned over, but when he asked her whether it was healthy for her to be gaining so much weight—he’d read a woman should gain about one pound per week during the second and third trimester and Claire was gaining closer to a pound and a half—she nearly slugged him.
“If you ever comment on my weight again,” she said, her eyes blazing. “I’m going to rip off the one arm you have left; you got it?!”
She was fuming and there was no mistaking her furor. He backed down and never mentioned it again.
She’d argued when the doctor put her on bedrest during the fourth month.
“Already?” she’d asked during her regular appointment. “It seems so early.”
“She’ll be in her bed in an hour,” Callum had said to the doctor, ignoring Claire. “And I won’t let her up again.”
The doctor had said she was allowed to get out of bed to use the restroom and to shower, but that was it.
“We can’t take any chances,” he’d said and Callum had wholeheartedly agreed.
Claire knew Callum and the doctor, whom she’d come to really like during all her visits, were only doing what was best for her and the baby, yet that didn’t help ease her boredom.
In the past hundred-plus days, Claire had watched nearly every movie and TV series on Netflix. When Nora came to visit for a nearly two-month stay, she’d taught Claire to knit and by the time Gia arrived, Claire had completed three blankets, two pairs of booties and four little caps.
“Are you going to start a business?” Gia asked, looking through Claire’s completed projects as she and Claire rested on the bed.
“You never know. I’m getting quite good at this knitting thing.”
Claire had also read a whole stack of books, which were now piled high on her nightstand. Callum had offered to take them away and put them on the bookshelf, but she’d told him she liked to see the pile. It made her feel as if she’d accomplished something during the past few months.
“You have accomplished something,” Callum had insisted. “You’ve grown our baby.”
Claire had rolled her eyes at Callum. Keeping this baby inside her was no small feat, but it wasn’t like she’d been kneading their child together. She was the oven, not the baker.
“I can’t wait to get up and go for a long walk,” Claire told Gia. “I’ve been stuck in this bed for way too long.”
“You won’t feel like doing any walking after that c-section,” Gia said. “Remember how you felt after the twins were born? You couldn’t ingest that hydrocodone fast enough.”
“Yeah,” Claire said, remembering how miserable she’d been after that delivery. “That sucked.”
“Soon you’ll be begging to get back into this bed.”
“Hard to imagine,” Claire said. “I feel like the mattress is permanently attached to my rear end.”
“No, that mass you feel back there is your actual rear end. How much weight have you gained anyway?”
Claire glared, but Gia laughed.
“You look great. I’m just giving you a hard time. Callum said you’re very touchy about your weight.”
“As you’ll be, someday, when you’re pregnant,” Claire said. “Wait and see.”
“If you say so.”
“Speaking of which,” Claire said. “How are things with you and Wyatt?”
“Well, that was quite the transition there,” Gia said. “It’s not to the point where I’m pregnant, I can assure you.”
“I wasn’t insinuating that. I’m just curious.”
“All’s good. Great, actually,” Gia said. “I really like him.”
“Like?” Claire asked, digging for more.
“Okay, love. I love him.”
If Claire had been able to, she would’ve leaped off the bed and jumped up and down.
“I knew it! I knew it! I could tell by the way the two of you were staring at each other the last time we were all together. I am the best matchmaker ever.”
Ever since the wedding, a year earlier, Wyatt and Gia had been an item. Because Claire was on bedrest, she’d missed out on spending a great deal of time with the new couple when Gia had flown out to see Wyatt in the various cities he, Callum and the team had visited.
Claire had insisted Callum continue with his scheduled appearances, even after she was put on bedrest and could no longer join them. Callum had argued, but Claire promised she was fine and he’d be disappointing a whole lot of people.
“Not to mention the financial mess it would be to cancel all of those venues,” she’d said.
“I am not going to leave you alone,” he’d said.
“I won’t be alone,” she’d protested. “Your mom said she’d come. And Nancy said she could visit and help me out, also.”
“You really want to be alone with Nancy for that long?” Callum had asked, raising an eyebrow.
Claire had laughed. No, she didn’t. She and her former in-laws had a really great relationship now, much better than when Jack was alive, but Claire didn’t want to push her luck. A dinner with Nancy was probably her limit.
“Okay, not really, but I also don’t want to hold you back.”
“Hold me back?” Callum had asked. “You are my back!”
“That doesn’t make sense.”
“It doesn’t have to. The point is, I’m spending every moment I can with you before this baby comes.”
“Because you still think something will go wrong?”
“No, love. Because once this baby comes, we’ll be so busy, we won’t have much alone time anymore.”
“Oh, you have no idea,” Claire had said, laughing. And he really didn’t. But then, what first-time parent could possibly comprehend the way his or her life was about to be turned upside down? She hadn’t understood it. Neither had Jack.
Callum had agreed to finish his last few speaking engagements while Claire stayed at home, as long as his mother came to stay with Claire for the weeks he was gone. After that, he’d insisted Alison put an indefinite hold on any future speaking engagements until the baby was born. He told the team, from that point on, they’d concentrate more on the charity portion of their organization, the fundraising and donation of walkers and wheelchairs. Callum also wanted the team to increase their focus on making sure more amputees could afford the prosthetics they needed.
“So, what’s the plan?” Claire asked Gia.
“The plan? What plan?”
“The plan for you and Wyatt.” She cupped her hand to her ear. “What? Is that wedding bells I hear?”
“Ha ha,” Gia said sarcastically. “Very funny.”
“I am funny,” Claire said, picking up the remote for the TV. “Tell me your plans and then let’s watch a chick flick.”
“I thought you’ve already seen every movie on Netflix.”
“Oh, I have. But there’s a new one out on On Demand I’ve been dying to see.”
“I don’t know where things are going to go with Wyatt. We’ve talked about marriage.”
Claire clapped her hands like a little girl.
“Oh, calm yourself down now,” Gia said, gently hitting Claire with a small decorative pillow. “It’s not like he’s proposed.”
“But he will,” Claire said. “And I can’t wait to be the matron of honor!”
“Oh? You think you’re a shoo-in for the role, huh?”
“Uh, of course. Duh,” Claire said.
“Okay, Ms. Cocky. Turn on the movie. I’m in need of some mindless romance.”