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The churchyard was full of people when I turned off the road the next Sunday. I scanned the yard for James and John, but couldn’t see them. My heart sank a couple inches when I saw the busybody of the church headed my way with a resolute step. In desperation, I looked around for anyone else to talk to, but didn’t see anybody I knew well enough to walk up to and start talking to them.
“Anna Stuart, how nice to see you,” the woman enthused.
“Mrs. Morgan.” I pasted a smile onto my face. I was sure she could see right through my mask of politeness. “How are you this fine morning?”
“I’m fine. I’m fine. I really came over here to find out what you have been doing at Pastor Jenkins’ house.”
I stared at Mrs. Morgan. “What do you mean?”
“I mean exactly what I said. What do you do over there?”
“I take care of John and James, give them the attention they have been lacking for over two years, clean the house, do the laundry, and cook a few meals. I’m doing what any decent woman, with a little extra time on her hands, should do. I saw a widower with two young boys struggling to balance his home and work life and keep both of them running smoothly. In case you hadn’t noticed, both the church and the boys have struggled ever since Miles Jenkins’ wife died. All I’m doing is trying to help them out as best I can.”
Mrs. Morgan narrowed her eyes. “Uh-huh. Don’t try to fool me, young lady. I know a woman in love when I see one.”
“Excuse me?” I was indignant. I took a few seconds to look around and see who was nearby. Nobody was near enough to hear. God, help me stop this woman from believing these things. Please!
Mrs. Morgan’s voice broke into my prayer. “I’ve seen those puppy eyes of yours.”
I straightened my back, clenched my jaw, and replied in a rather sharp tone. “Yes, you have. But, only when I’ve been looking at James and John, not their father. He is a nice man who would make any young lady a wonderful husband, but I am not the type of woman who throws herself at any man, no matter how old and spinsterish I get. Not to mention the fact that I barely know him. I am most assuredly not a good candidate for a Pastor’s wife and I will be the first to admit that. I am short-tempered, easily riled, and much too controlling to be any good as ‘the leading woman’ in the community.” I paused to take a deep breath and tried to calm my rising anger. “Now, if you will excuse me, I need to go somewhere to prepare myself for worshiping the Lord.”
As I turned away from the astonished widow, a small hand slipped into mine and tugged me toward the road. I looked down and James motioned me away from the church and into the woods.
Allowing him to lead me away, we came to a faint path leading into the trees. Less than a minute later, we arrived in a small clearing. James led me to a pair of stumps and motioned for me to sit down on one. He sat on the other stump, facing me.
Using sign language, he explained to me that this spot was where he and his da went when they wanted to disappear for awhile to talk without distractions. After the explanation, he stood up and asked if I could find my way back on my own.
With tears welling in my eyes, I nodded to him, put the fingers of my open palm to my chin briefly before moving it away from my body. While making the motion, I mouthed the words, “Thank you.” Too overcome for speech, I was suddenly very grateful I could speak to this sweet boy using signs. James had been gone for mere seconds before I cried out to God. After a few minutes in prayer, I felt like I was ready to enter the Lord’s house. As I emerged from the woods, a smile formed on my face at the sight of two little gentlemen watching the path very closely. James ran to me and signed to ask if I was feeling better.
“Yes, I am. Thank you for your concern.”
John walked up to me looking like his father, a concerned frown on his face. “James told me what happened and we agreed Pa should be told about it. After all, it does affect him and reflect on his reputation as well.” He took a deep breath. “I also think you should be there to tell him. Since you were the one she was speakin’ to and all.”
It took all my concentration not to stare at John. Where had this serious young man come from? What had he done with the fun-loving, carefree boy? I shook myself mentally. John was at the age where boy and man were fighting each other for dominance.
“We will wait until after church. It’s about to start and we should get inside.”
James and John both nodded and the three of us walked into the church together.
Mrs. Morgan was sitting in my line of vision all throughout church and I had a hard time concentrating on the service. I honestly cannot tell you what was sung, read, or preached about that day. My mind raced with the things Mrs. Morgan had said. How many others thought that way? I also prayed for wisdom on telling Miles...Pastor Jenkins...and for dealing with whatever might come up as a result. Not to mention searching my own heart for any wrong motives I might have for helping Miles.
I was so distracted by my own internal prayers, I didn’t realize church was done until I felt like I was being watched. I lifted my head and turned it from side to side. James and John flanked me and were staring at me.
James signed, “Are you coming?” at the same time John asked, “Are you okay?”
I made a fist and nodded it up and down in James’ direction before I turned to face John. I took a deep breath, held it for a few seconds and then let it out. “Yes, I am fine, John. I was just praying.”
John smiled grimly and turned to leave the pew. I stood up and followed him out of the pew and out of the church. I shook Mil...Pastor Jenkins’ hand as he stood at the door, and before I could say anything, John said, “Pa, the three of us need to talk to you when you’re done here.”
Pastor Jenkins raised an eyebrow in my direction and I decided to simply give him a nod. John, James, and I moved away from the crowd of churchgoers and stood together in silence until Pastor Jenkins joined us.
***
When Pastor Jenkins came over to us after doing his obligatory fellowship, John took matters into his own hands again. “Mrs. Morgan thinks Miss Stuart wants to become our stepmom.”
At John’s outburst, I turned my eyes to watch Pastor Jenkins. I saw a plethora of emotions flit across his face: anger, surprise, shock, amazement. Then he swallowed hard and seemed to choke on his next word, “What?”
I stepped in and told him the whole thing, ending with “...and the boys thought you should know. After they said as much, I agreed with them.”
Pastor Jenkins looked away at the emptying churchyard and heaved a sigh. “If...no, when, Mrs. Morgan gets around to telling this to others in the community, you and I will both have some people who shun us. Especially you.”
I shrugged. “That’s not a big deal. I’m used to being talked about and being alone.” The left corner of my mouth curled up slightly at the expression on his face. “I practically raised my youngest brother from infancy until he left at age fourteen. Because of this, I had very few friends since I could never stay after school. By the time Jed left, I was twenty-three and already a spinster. Nobody wants to be friends with a spinster.”
“I do,” John said with conviction.
I smiled at him. “Thank you John.” I looked over at the increasingly uncomfortable Pastor Jenkins. “You don’t have to say anything, Pastor. As hard as it was, it all worked out for the best. If it hadn’t been for all those years alone, I never would’ve been able to accept Christ for who He is.”
Pastor Jenkins looked at me with quizzical eyes. “What do you mean by that?”
“Seven years ago, I would never have reacted the way I did to the letter Jed sent me about being a Christian. I thought I was a good enough Christian on my own merit whether I went to church or not. I was too sure of myself, too confident in being able to hold everything together by myself. When the letter did finally come—almost exactly seven years after Jed left—I was tired of the life I was living and tired of trying to keep everything together.
“Then I read the letter and my heart broke.” Tears welled up in my eyes and I looked away from Pastor Jenkins only to just miss meeting the tear-filled eyes of James. James saw my tears and ran up to me, putting his small arms around my waist. I put my hands on his shoulders and took a deep breath before continuing. “I was nine when Jed was born and Mama died. I pretty much raised Jed single-handedly and felt very motherly and possessive of him. When we got the letter about his death, I went through a week of barely surviving.
“Then Wilma came over and invited me to church. I decided to give it another try. Then another and another. Your sermons and what I was reading in the Bible were the only things that kept me from going into melancholy.”
Throughout my whole explanation, I had avoided eye contact with anybody. At the end, I finally let my gaze flit to Miles’ face. His eyes were closed and he had a concerned, sympathetic look on his face. He must have felt me looking at him because by the time I registered the look, his eyes were open and I looked away from him.
When Pastor Jenkins spoke, his voice was just above a whisper. “Anna, I am sorry for your loss. I had no idea you had struggled so much with it. As for what Mrs. Morgan thinks, maybe ignoring the rumors will be enough to show them you aren’t trying to needle your way into my heart.” His voice grew a little stronger and a finger pulled my chin up. I jerked away from him, my eyes darting around the deserted churchyard. I breathed a sigh of relief when I saw that nobody was around.
Pastor Jenkins’ eyebrows furrowed. “Why are you so jumpy today, Anna?”
“Mrs. Morgan already thinks I have ulterior motives for taking care of James and John. We don’t need to give her any more ideas.” I took a step backward and James let go of me with a puzzled look on his face.
Pastor Jenkins tensed. “You think they would really think that?”
“Think what, Pa?” John asked.
Pastor Jenkins sent his son a look that told him to keep quiet. “Boys, go back to the house and start lunch,” he ordered.
John’s face fell, but he and James slowly moved off to do as his father had said.
As soon as they were in the house, I looked the pastor full in the face. “Yes, they would think that.”
Pastor Jenkins shifted his feet and clenched his jaw. “I never thought of that. I assumed everybody knew I would never do something like that or allow anybody I didn’t trust into my home.”
I nodded. “I agree and I think most of them would realize that, but some of them don’t.”
Pastor Jenkins looked down at me. “Was she more upset with you or me?”
My laugh had a slight bitter sound to it. “Definitely with me. I’m the intruder on her perfect plans. I’m the one with the evil plans to snare you into marrying me.” I pointed at myself. “Me, the worst possible candidate to be a wife, let alone a pastor’s wife.”
He fought a smile and cocked an eyebrow. “That sounds like a challenge, Miss Stuart.”
“What do you mean?”
“I think you would be a good ‘candidate’ for a wife to someone. We just have to figure out for whom.” He had a mischievous glint in his eyes I did not like.
I backed up a few steps and shook my head, but before I could speak, he interrupted me. “As for Mrs. Morgan, I will have to do something about that. There is no reason she, or anybody else should be attacking anybody with unfounded speculation. If she had been more upset with me than with you, I would probably feel a little differently, but with you being the main person to be attacked...” He trailed off as he got lost in thought. “On the other hand,” he looked up at me, the mischievous look back in his eyes, “perhaps finding you a husband would be the best way to dispel the rumors. Is there anybody you have your heart set on already?”
I gaped at him. “I need to get home. Right now. I will see you tomorrow, Pastor Jenkins.”
He took a step closer to me as I tried to maneuver around him to leave. “What happened to you calling me Miles?”
“It is too personal of a name, Pastor. If we are to try to keep things more professional, we should call each other by more formal names. Pastor or Pastor Jenkins for you and Miss Stuart for me.” I looked him in the eye, daring him to contradict me.
He had a grim look on his face. “I think I know what my sermon will be about next week.”
For the second time in as many minutes, my mouth gaped open in astonishment. That had not been the response I was expecting. “What?” I squeaked.
He chuckled. “Judge not, lest ye be judged. Do not spread false rumors. Do not gossip. Etcetera. I think I should be able to tie them all together into one cohesive sermon, don’t you?”
I raised an eyebrow and forced my jaw closed. I thought for a minute before nodding. “I’m sure you can. I look forward to hearing how you do it. Until tomorrow, Pastor.”
He waved at me as I hurried toward the road home.
