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I was surprised by how clean the kitchen was considering it was John who had baked the cake. He had even washed the dishes he had dirtied. One thing I had noticed in the few months that I had known the Jenkins’ was that John was the carefree, careless one; James was careful, clean, and meticulous, almost obsessively so. And then there was Miles. Miles was carefree, but mostly clean and careful. Some days, his belongings would be put away and other days, they would be strewn everywhere. It was almost as if he were two different people warring with each other.
Lord, help Miles. He seems so calm and carefree today, but somehow I also feel he is hiding something deep down. Help him to release his pain, or whatever it is, to You, Lord. And if he needs someone to talk to, help him to find that person and help them to be willing and open to listening.
After getting water heated while I cleaned up what John had missed, I did my usual Monday laundry and hung it out to dry. By the time that was finished, it was lunchtime and I fixed myself a little something to eat. I was about to start making supper when the front door opened. I smoothed the apron on my skirt while I went to see who was walking in.
“Miles? What is it?”
Miles looked chagrined. “I forgot to tell you not to make supper tonight. Caleb and I are treating you and the boys at the restaurant.”
“And Da?” I asked, expecting a negative answer, but still hoping I was wrong.
“Caleb said he would try.” Miles looked at the floor and his arms hung helplessly at his sides.
I nodded, disappointment flooding through me.
“Thank you,” I whispered. I turned back to the kitchen before he could see the tears stinging my eyes.
“Anna,” Miles’ voice stopped me short. It was filled with sorrow and longing, but longing for what?
I tried to swallow the lump in my throat. “Yes?”
“I wish I could’ve told you differently. I want your da there, too.” He took a deep breath and whispered, “I cannot imagine what it must have been like for you growing up.”
I held my back rigidly straight and struggled for breath as the tears rolled down my cheeks. I felt more than heard Miles take two quick steps toward me. A hand tentatively touched my shoulder and gently caressed it.
It took me a full minute to stop my tears and control my breathing. Once the tears were gone, I wiped my eyes hurriedly and turned to Miles.
Eyes downcast, I said, “Thank you for letting me know about dinner.” I swallowed hard again.
Miles put a finger under my chin and lifted it up. “You’re welcome, Anna. I will pray all afternoon that your father will come tonight.”
I pursed my lips, to keep my lower lip from trembling. “Thank you,” I whispered.
Miles looked into my face intently for a few seconds and then turned around abruptly and left the house. As soon as he was gone, I hid my face in the apron and wept. Oh God, why does it have to be so hard? Why does Da always have to ruin things for me? Why couldn’t he show just one small little ounce of love for me? All I ever asked for was a small bit of caring from him. A hug once in awhile, a gentle word, or a smile would’ve done it. Why, God, why?
I don’t know how long I stood there crying into my apron, but when I was done, I hung it out to dry since I had thoroughly soaked it. I then splashed cold water on my face to get rid of most of the evidence of my weeping and took a deep breath to calm my shattered nerves. At least I didn’t have to worry about supper. Now all I had to do was frost the cake.
***
Three boys showed up for afternoon snack. One of them was a bit overgrown, but he sure acted like a boy, except for the concerned look he gave me when he walked in the door behind his sons. Their excitement helped lift my mood.
“You okay now?” he whispered as he walked passed me.
I nodded and gave a half grin. “I’m fine.”
His eyes searched mine and seemed to see the half-truth I had just told, but he didn’t say anything about it.
Once the cake was cut and dished up, we all sat there and stared at John.
“What?” he asked.
“We’re waiting for you to take the first bite, Son,” Miles said with a grin.
“Oh. Okay.” He cut a large bite and stabbed it with his fork. We all watched as the piece of cake disappeared into his mouth and he started chewing. “Mmm,” he said. “This is good. If I do say so myself.” He winked at us.
We all laughed and dug in. The cake really was good. I could hardly believe a ten year old had made it. “You should start a bakery, John,” I said.
John’s eyes grew wide as saucers. “No way, no ma’am. I ain’t doin’ that!”
“Why not?” I asked, choosing to ignore his grammar.
John shook his head. “I’d never have the patience to do it.”
Miles chuckled. “Plus, I think he’s rather young to start a business.”
The conversation ended there and as soon as we were finished with our cake, we all went our separate ways. Miles went back to the church to put some finishing touches on whatever he was doing there, John and James got their homework finished, and I went home to get ready for my first meal at the hotel restaurant.
As I walked home, I wondered if Caleb had told Miles I had never been to a restaurant or that it was my thirtieth birthday. I shook my head. Probably not. Those weren’t things a man would likely think of, especially Caleb. Then again, planning a surprise birthday party wasn’t exactly something I would have expected him to think of either.
When I got home and went up to my room, I stared at the dresses hanging in my wardrobe. Which dress should I wear? One of my less-worn work dresses or my church dress? I pulled two dresses out of my wardrobe and laid them on the bed. My church dress had a dark green background with light green leaf filigree weaving through the fabric. The other dress I had pulled out was my nicest work dress. It was made of a heavier material and was a plain mauve color with maroon trim around the waist, hem, and the bottoms of the sleeves.
“How about instead of wearing one of those old things, you wear this one?”
I jumped at the sound of Caleb’s voice and stared at him with wide eyes. He held a dress made from the material I had always wanted a dress made from. It was a light blue with dark blue roses scattered around the material. There was dark blue trim around the collar, hem, and sleeve hems. At the waist, the trim bordered a flowery lace.
My breath caught in my throat as my hand went up to the same spot. “Where in the world...?” I couldn’t finish the sentence.
Caleb gave me a sheepish look and a slight shrug. “I saw you fingering this material a few months ago. When I started plannin’ this surprise birthday for you, I decided to ask Wilma to make you a dress. I told her what material to use and I paid her to make it for you.”
Tears ran down my cheeks for the second time that day. This time, they were tears of joy rather than pain. “Oh, Caleb, thank you!” I ran to him and gave him a hug and kissed him on the cheek. “Thank you so much. I can’t believe you did this for me.”
Caleb cleared his throat in embarrassment and shrugged his shoulders. “It wasn’t all that much.”
I took the dress from him and said, “It was much more than you will ever know, Caleb. Now get out of here so I can try this on and make sure I don’t need to make any last minute adjustments to it.”
Caleb gave me a half grin and a mock salute. “Yes’m, Miss Stuart.”
The dress fit perfectly. I had no idea how Wilma did it without knowing my measurements, but she somehow guessed exactly right. When I came downstairs half an hour later, after arranging my hair in a less severe manner, I found Caleb and Da both waiting for me in the kitchen. Da stared at me in shock and amazement.
Caleb’s eyes went wide, but he at last found his voice. “Good evening, Miss Stuart,” he teased. “I can’t wait to see Miles’ reaction when he sees you dressed like this.”
I blushed and swatted Caleb’s arm. “Hush, Caleb!”
I turned to Da and was surprised to see he had on a clean shirt and his nicest pair of pants.
I froze. “Da, are you coming with us?”
Da cleared his throat. “Aye, Caleb convinced me ‘twas only right to come along.”
I barely managed to curb my impulse to hug him. “Thank you, Da.”
“Shall we go?” Caleb asked. “We don’t want to keep John and James waiting, after all. And I really do want to see Miles’ face.” His grin threatened to squeeze his ears right off his face.
I hit him playfully in the arm again before hooking my right elbow into his left. We walked out the front door and I was surprised to see a buggy waiting for us.
“Borrowed from Darius Gardner,” Caleb answered my questioning glance as he helped me inside. Da took the reins and we headed for town in style.
We drove past the parsonage which answered the question I had forgotten to ask. A few minutes later, Da pulled up in front of the hotel and Caleb hopped out of the buggy and tied up the horses before he helped me down.
When we entered the hotel, a waiter immediately led us to the back and off to a small side room.
“We get our own private dining room?” I whispered to Caleb.
He looked at me and grinned before leading me into the room with Da trailing behind us.
“Happy Birthday!” three voices shouted as we entered.
The sight that greeted me was like one out of the fairy tales Mama had always read to Caleb and me. The table was laden with a feast of food and bouquet upon bouquet of flowers. Three handsome young men in black and dark blue broadcloth suits stood at the other end of the room. The smallest one was half buried by yet another bouquet of flowers.
Miles gave James a gentle push and he stepped forward. He handed me the bouquet of wildflowers. Once they were out of his hands, he signed the words, “I picked these for you myself.” I smiled and, having been rendered speechless, I signed my “thank you” to him. My eyes darted over to where Miles still stared at me.
I saw him swallow hard and glance toward the door where Da looked like he was about ready to run away.
“Iain, it is good to see you here. Thank you for coming.” His gaze flitted through the room. “Shall we all sit down, say the blessing, and eat this food instead of just staring at it?”
Caleb let my arm go and gave me a slight shove toward Miles. “Your seat is at the head of the table,” he whispered.
Miles pulled the seat of honor out and looked toward me. “Miss Stuart?”
I took first one tentative step and then another toward him until I was around the table and sitting in the chair. He took my bouquet and set it down on a small table behind me.
Dinner was delicious. The conversation was a bit scarce since nobody really knew what to talk about or say. Da didn’t say a single word, Caleb looked pleased, but uncomfortable; Miles, James and John tried to be their normal selves. I was still in shock and didn’t say much.
After a lovely strawberry preserve tart for dessert, we all sat around, very full and not sure what to do next.
“Thank you all for the best birthday I have ever had,” I said.
James grinned and signed his “You’re welcome.”
Before anyone else could speak, Da stood up and gave Caleb a pointed look. My heart plummeted. Da wanted to leave and he wanted to leave now.
Caleb looked around the table, his eyes hovering over my face for a few extra seconds before landing on Miles. “Miles, could you bring Anna home and return the buggy to the Gardners? Da would like to go home now and I know Anna would probably like to stay.” He gave me a wink and I gave him a weak smile back.
“Of course, I can do that,” Miles said. “Thank you for joining us, Iain and Caleb. Have a blessed night.”
Caleb and Da left, Da in more of a hurry than Caleb. Caleb mussed up John and James’ hair and said goodbye before he followed Da out the door.
I knew what Da would be doing as soon as he got home, but I refused to let my mind go there. At least he did it at home rather than at a saloon. Today was my birthday, and I wasn’t going to let him ruin it again.
Half an hour later, Miles halted the buggy in front of his house and turned around in his seat. “John, James, this is your stop. Go inside and go to bed. I’ll be home soon.”
“Can’t we go with you?”
“No,” Miles said. “You have school tomorrow and need to get some sleep.” He glanced over at me, and I tried to hide a smile once I realized what he wasn’t saying; he wanted some time alone with me so we could talk without fear of being overheard.
James climbed out of the buggy after giving me a hug from the back and a kiss on the cheek.
“Good night, James,” I said. “I’ll see you tomorrow afternoon at my house.”
As John stomped inside, I said good night to him as well and he waved his hand back at me.
Miles sighed. “Sometimes John reminds me too much of myself.”
I turned to him with a raised eyebrow. “How so?”
“Obedient and compliant as long as it goes with what he wants, but as soon as something doesn’t go the right way, he is rebellious and moody.”
“And are you still that way or is this just how you were when you were his age?”
Miles laughed. “Good question.” He clucked to the horses to get them headed to my house. “Mostly when I was his age. Although, I can still revert to those ways on occasion.”
I grinned. “I thought so.”
“What would you think of dropping the buggy and horses off at the Gardners and then walking back to your house?” he asked after a couple of minutes of silence.
I shrugged. “That would be fine. I wouldn’t mind walking off some of this food.”
“John asked me this morning when we are getting married.”
“What?” I exclaimed.
Miles chuckled. “I told him that it would be at least a few months and then he asked if we would be married before Christmas.”
Now I was laughing. “Christmas? That’s less than three months away!”
“I know. I told him it might not be until January or later.”
I gave a deep breath of relief. “Phew!”
“He was rather disappointed.” Miles was looking at me out of the corner of his eyes.
I shook my head. “Of course he was. If he wasn’t, I would be worried about him.”
Miles threw his head back and laughed, filling the road and surrounding fields with his laughter. When he was done, he took a minute to regain his composure before getting the horses moving again. He sighed and said, “I feel like we are reaching a forked path. Right now, we are on the path where we are friends and only friends—and good ones at that. In a little bit, we are going to reach a fork in that road and we will have to decide do we continue down the road of just friends or do we make the decision that will, ultimately, lead...” he paused and swallowed, “to marriage. And I’m not sure what to do or where to go or how to get there. Or if I want to get there. We’ve only known each other for almost a year, but I feel like we have been friends forever. And it has been the best year of my life. I don’t want that to change.”
I put a hand on his arm to stop him from talking. “I don’t think it does have to change. Even if we go down the other path, the one that could lead to marriage, we will still be friends. I don’t know for sure, but I’m thinking it might be a little uncomfortable for awhile, but we can, and will, still talk to each other as friends and be there for each other. Life will still go on.”
Miles stared into my face for an uncomfortable minute before nodding sluggishly. I moved away from him and he clucked to the horses to continue on.
“You always seem to be able to somehow put my mind at ease,” Miles said.
I was glad for the dark because my cheeks burned. “Only by God’s grace,” I said.
He reached for my hand and gave it a quick squeeze. “And you hardly ever take the credit for anything.”
I grinned and looked over at him. He looked toward me and a moon beam shone through the trees to show the huge grin on his face.
Miles turned his attention back to the road and turned the horses into the Gardner’s drive. He pulled right up to the house and Darius waited for us on the porch.
“I wasn’t expecting to see you, Miles. If I’d known both of you were coming, I would have had Wilma sit out here with me,” Darius said.
“Caleb asked me to bring the buggy here and get his sister home safely,” Miles said.
“Did he really say it in that order?”
Miles climbed out of the buggy and helped me down before handing the reins to a grinning Darius. “Here ya go. I think I’d better get Miss Stuart home.”
“Yes, Pastor Jenkins,” Darius teased with a laugh that followed us down the road.
