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Thanksgiving and Christmas loomed in the very near future with the wedding coming quickly behind them. I did all I could to keep two households running smoothly as well as preparing for all the events coming up, but I couldn’t do it. One day, Wilma came over for a visit.
“Anna, darling, you look terrible!” Wilma exclaimed as I opened the door.
I gave an unconvincing laugh. “That’s a nice thing for a friend to say.”
“Well, it’s true. You look exhausted, your hair is a disaster of knots and your dress isn’t buttoned straight. What are you trying to do?”
I held the door open and Wilma stepped inside. “Okay, this has to stop right now, Anna,” Wilma said. “You have to slow down a little or tell somebody no. Or something.” She spun around and took in the horrifying sight that was the Stuart house.
The house was a disaster and I didn’t realize it until I really looked at it for the first time. Material was strewn around the living room, the kitchen hadn’t been swept in ages and the breakfast dishes had yet to be washed.
Wilma turned back to me with a glare. “I repeat: what are you trying to do?”
I blinked at her, unseeing. “Making sheets for my hope chest.”
“Anna Aishlinn Stuart, do you mean to tell me that you don’t even have your hope chest filled with things yet?”
I nodded my head and Wilma’s jaw dropped. “How is that possible?”
“Mama died when I was nine. I never had another mother figure to help me and I was always too busy for suitors and then I was too old. I never had, or felt, a need to get it ready.” I shrugged. “So now I’m trying to get it ready.”
Wilma collapsed into the nearest chair. “Oh, Anna. You should have asked for help.”
I sniffed. “From whom? My only friends have families of their own to take care of and plenty to do for themselves.”
“I’ll organize a quilting bee with Hester helping behind the scenes. And then the two of us will talk to our husbands about taking a day every week to help you with whatever is needed. And I won’t take no for an answer, Anna. You need this more than you know you do. I will also talk Miles into giving you have a day off every week to prepare for your wedding.”
I took a deep breath and let it out. “Okay.”
“And right now, I am going to wash your dishes while you get that material out of the living room in whatever way you want to.”
“Are you always this bossy?” I asked.
“Only when my best friend needs me to be,” Wilma replied with a wink.
We both laughed and got to work.
Two hours later, the dishes were done, the linen was one step closer to becoming a sheet, and lunch was on the table. Wilma and I had even managed to do some talking.
That night after dinner, Caleb took the boys out to the barn to help with the evening chores so Miles and I could talk.
“Wilma stopped by the church today. She’s concerned about you,” Miles said.
“I know. She stopped by here and helped out this morning.”
“She asked me to give you a day off so you can get ready for the wedding. What worries me is if this causing you so much stress, why didn’t you come to me and ask me that yourself?” Miles’ penetrating stare bored into me as I washed the plate.
“I thought I could do it,” I said in a quiet voice.
“And you didn’t want me to think you couldn’t?”
I clenched my jaw and closed my eyes. “Something like that.”
“I didn’t think of it until Wilma pointed it out, but you shouldn’t be expected to prepare for a wedding and keep two households running at the same time. That is more than any woman should ever have to do.” He picked up another plate and dried it. “How do Thursdays sound for your day off?”
“Are you sure you can do that?”
“Yes.”
I turned and looked him full in the eye. “Even with the church people breathing down your neck waiting for you to falter somewhere so they can kick you out?”
A smile tugged at the corners of Miles’ mouth. He leaned his hip against the corner. “The most important thing I can ever do is to take care of my family. We may not be married yet, but I still consider you part of my family. If that means I need to work from home so my sons don’t run wild, I will figure out a way to do that. Your priority right now needs to be your relationship with God, your family, and getting yourself prepared for the wedding. My family should be your lowest priority. The boys can both help Caleb and Iain when they are here, and you are more than welcome to bring your sewing or whatever to the parsonage to work on while you are there.”
“Thank you, Miles. I am sorry I didn’t come to you earlier, but I didn’t realize how bad I was until Wilma showed up. I’ve always pushed myself. Ever since I was nine, I’ve had to work harder than I thought I would be able to handle. I’ve never known how bad I am until someone tells me.”
Miles scowled. “Why didn’t Caleb notice?”
I turned back to the soapy water and gave a little laugh. “He’s seen me like this before and didn’t think anything of it. I’m known in my family for working myself to death.”
Miles cocked an eyebrow and took the silverware away from me. “Really? Well, we’ll have to see what we can do to break you of that habit.” He winked at me as we heard little feet outside. “Oh! I almost forgot. I’ve been thinking about Thanksgiving and Christmas. Since Iain doesn’t particularly like us at the moment, and it will be your last set of holidays with just the three of you, I was thinking that we should each have our own Thanksgiving and Christmas. Next year, maybe you and Caleb’s wife can decide which holiday is at which house.”
A smile slowly spread across my face. “That is a wonderful idea! Thank you for thinking of that. But, who will make your meals?”
Miles held up his hands. “Whoa there, Miss Stuart.” He backed me up and pinned me against the counter. “Before you came to help, I was the main cook in the family,” he whispered, his face mere inches from mine. My breathing was shallow and I had the sudden thought that Miles would kiss me right then and there. “I can cook a Thanksgiving and Christmas meal one last time before handing the reins over to you.”
Miles stepped away from me without kissing me and a disappointed sigh came from behind Miles. He spun around to see James standing in the doorway.
“I was hoping you two would kiss,” James complained.
Miles gave me a sheepish look. “Not until our wedding and even then, you won’t be seeing it.”
“Why not?” James asked.
“Because we would both like to keep our first kiss special and private,” Miles answered.
“How are you going to do that?” questioned James.
“I don’t know exactly how yet,” Miles said. “Where is John?”
“He’s still outside, petting the kittens.”
“James,” Miles said, “please go out and tell John it is time to leave. I’ll meet you two by the front door.”
James’ lips stuck out in a pout, but he complied.
“In some ways I wish we’d decided on a January wedding,” Miles said.
“Why?” I asked, cocking my head to the side.
“Because I don’t like that you or I always have to leave. If we were married, we could continue talking all the time except when one of us is gone or when we are asleep. And because I really would like to kiss you. But don’t tell James that.” His devilish grin returned at the pretend glare I gave him.
“So you have no reservations about marrying me?”
“None,” he answered.
“Even though we have only known each other for just over a year and I’ve only been a genuine Christian for the same length of time? Besides the minor facts such as you possibly losing your job and me not really being fit to be a pastor’s wife.”
Miles took my hands in his. “Yes. We may not have known each other long, but I feel like I know you better than I knew my first wife when we were married. Sure, we knew many things about each other, but we were so comfortable with each other that we never really talked about deep things like you and I do. And you are the most committed Christian I know in this community. Your enthusiasm puts me to shame at times. That’s a good thing, by the way. As for losing my job, that is always in God’s hands.”
He paused and pulled me one step closer. “And about you becoming a pastor’s wife. I think you will make the best pastor’s wife this town has ever seen. Even if all you do is raise John and James and keep me focused, you will be wonderful. I am absolutely certain of that.”
A knock came on the front door. “Pa? You comin’?” John’s question was muffled as his voice came through the door. Miles chuckled and let me go.
“I’ll see you tomorrow morning,” he said.
I waved as he left. My voice refused to work. No matter how many times I asked him the same questions, Miles always had the same answer. Maybe someday it would beat its way into my head and I would truly believe it.
***
Despite what I said to Mrs. Morgan and Miles’ efforts in person and from the pulpit, the war against us continued. James came home from school the Friday after my first day off with a downcast face.
I heard the kitchen door open and wondered why John had gone around back.
“What’s the matter, James?” I asked.
“The kids at school were teasing us something awful today, Miss Stuart,” James signed.
“What about?” I asked.
“Just some old lies someone’s spreading about you and Pa.”
My heart stopped beating and I had trouble catching my breath. “What kind of lies, James?” At the stubborn look coming to his eyes, I knelt down and grabbed his shoulders. “Please tell me, James. I need to know.”
James pursed his lips together and closed his eyes. “They said you were pregnant and that’s the only reason Pa’s marrying you. And they said you were going to force Pa to do things at church.” His hands paused and his shoulders trembled. A stray tear found its way through his eyelid. “They said you didn’t really like us and you were only pretending to be kind but as soon as your baby was born you would kick us out of the house.” James threw his arms around me in a tight hug and sobbed.
“Shh, shh, James. You know I wouldn’t do that. Shh.”
“That’s not all,” John said from the doorway.
I pivoted as best I could with James practically in my lap. I looked up at John and saw why he had gone to the kitchen door instead of front door.
“John! What...”
John held up his free hand. The other hand held a wet rag to his face. “When the boys said you were pregnant, I started getting mad. Then they went on to saying how you would force Pa to change the church and kick us out. I was madder’n a wet hen.” John removed the rag from his face. “I fought ‘em, Miss Stuart. I know I shouldn’t’ve, but I did it. It was two against one because I refused to let James get involved and sent him in to get the teacher.”
I was heartsick and I worked hard to keep my breathing controlled. James had stopped sobbing by now and could stand on his own two feet. I stood up and took the rag from John. “Didn’t the teacher stop the fight?”
John nodded. “After I got a black eye, and some other bruises and had gotten a few licks on them.” He tried to give me a half smile, but it ended up being a grimace.
“What’d they do, aim for your head only?” I asked as I led him into the kitchen.
“Naw, they landed a few to my gut, but those don’t hurt right now.”
I sat him on a chair and got some cold water in a bowl. “James, go get me some more rags, please.”
When James came back, I cleaned John up as best I could. “Normally, I don’t condone fighting, but this time...” I looked away. “This time, I want to thank you for standing up for me and your da.”
I stood up and looked at the two boys. “You two stay here and eat your snack. If you can, get some homework done. If you can’t, John, just lie down or whatever you need to in order to help you feel better.”
“Where are you going?” John asked.
“I’m going to talk to your father,” I said. “This war has gone far enough.”
“What war?”
I looked back at them. “The war against your father and me getting married.”
I turned on my heel and walked out the door before they could ask any more questions. I marched right into the church and to Miles’ small office.
At my deliberate knock, Miles’ head snapped up. “Anna? What are you doing here?” The look on my face must have finally registered. “Now what’s wrong?”
A grin tried to peek out at his resigned tone of voice. “I’m sorry to bother you on a Friday, but I thought this was more important than finalizing your sermon for the week.”
Both of Miles’ eyebrows went up and he leaned back in his chair, crossing his arms above his head. “Okay. It is obvious you are ready and have aimed, now shoot.”
I took a deep breath and told him what had happened at school earlier that day.
Miles kept an impassive face throughout my entire speech. “What is your recommendation, Miss Stuart?”
I collapsed into the chair across from his desk. “We call together the whole town and try to talk some sense into them. But, since that probably isn’t possible, pull John and James out of school until this all blows over. I can teach them at home.”
“Isn’t that taking the coward’s way out?” Miles asked.
“No. It is looking out for their safety.”
“Excuse me, Pastor Jenkins?” a male voice spoke from the doorway.
“Yes, Mr. Matthews?” Miles asked.
“I was hoping I could speak to you about a little matter that happened at school today,” he said with a grin.
“You may wait outside in the sanctuary until I am finished speaking to Miss Stuart,” Miles stated.
Mr. Matthews hemmed and hawed a little.
“Do you have a problem with my request?” Miles asked.
“Yes, actually I do. I know this young lady is your fiancée, and she probably has more of an opportunity...”
“Not this time,” Miles interrupted. “But before you go, may I ask you one question?”
“Certainly,” the schoolteacher responded.
“Good. Why did it take you so long to break up the fight between John and the three other boys?”
“Um, well,” Mr. Matthews stammered, “that’s actually what I wanted to talk to you about. I didn’t know they were fighting until it was almost over and...”
“Which is why my son James went in to get you as it was starting.” Miles stood up. “Mr. Matthews, did James come to tell you about the fight or not?”
“Sending a mute boy in to tell the teacher something is a great folly,” Mr. Matthews said as he straightened up.
“Which is why we specifically hired you as the schoolteacher. Because you know sign language.” Miles took a step closer to the schoolteacher. “Did you, or did you not, know the fight was going on when it first began? And if so, why did it take you so long to get out there? Do you realize my son could have been seriously injured? If I hadn’t taught him to defend himself with his fists, he could have been killed out there and you would have let him.” Miles was standing nose to nose with the frightened schoolteacher.
I had just risen to try to calm Miles down when Miles backed up a few steps. “I’m sorry, Mr. Matthews. That was uncalled for.”
Mr. Matthews straightened his collar. “No, Pastor Jenkins. You were right. I was negligent. It won’t happen again. That is why I wanted to come talk to you. I wanted to tell you what happened and also let you know I have talked to the parents of the other three and the students themselves. The other three students have been suspended and will not be returning to school until next school term.” Mr. Matthews turned toward me. “I apologize for the intrusion, Miss Stuart.”
“That’s quite all right. You helped our discussion. We were trying to decide what to do next. Any ideas on how to stop a rumor from spreading and causing a wildfire?”
Mr. Matthews shook his head. “I wish I did, Miss Stuart. Good day and thank you for your time.”
Miles sank into his chair and closed his eyes. “Now what?”
“I don’t know. Try letting the rumor burn itself out and pray for the best?”
“That may be the only choice we have,” Miles said. “Someday, I hope we can look back at this and laugh about it.”
“Me, too, Miles,” I said. “Me, too.”
***
December came and was almost gone before I knew it. Every Thursday, Hester and Wilma came over to my house to help me make things for my hope chest. The quilting bee was a failure because of the rumors, so Hester, Wilma, and I made the quilt together as well. As difficult as it was to be rejected by the rest of the town, it was wonderful to have two close friends. During our times together, I learned that Wilma had learned French from a French spinster in her hometown and that Hester could sing like an angel as well as many other fun tidbits.
Caleb was quiet about his letters with Maggie, but from the eagerness in his face when I handed him each letter, I knew he was anxious to meet her. As was I. Any woman who could occupy my brother’s thoughts as much as this woman obviously did was a winner in my mind. The added bonus was that she and her daughter Rachel were getting him to think about God.
When Christmas came, Da wanted it to be a quiet day, so we all sat around, stuffed our faces with food and talked about Christmases past.
“Remember the year we hid the presents on Mama and Da?” Caleb asked.
I threw my head back and let loose a laugh. “Do I ever! That was one of the best Christmases ever!”
“Yes, it was,” Caleb replied, a flicker of sadness in his eyes. “It was the Christmas we learned we would have a new brother or sister.”
“That’s right!” I exclaimed. “Mama and Da told us on Christmas Eve. And that’s when we plotted to hide the presents. We got up really early and carried them all into the barn. Then we went back to bed and pretended to be very sad when we saw all the presents were gone.”
“And then I went out to do chores while Aishlinn made breakfast,” Da said. “And I found the presents hiding under a pile of hay.”
I chuckled and sighed. “I wish Mama and Jed were here.”
“Your Mama’s not here because of Jed,” Da spat.
“Da!” Caleb warned. “Don’t start that up now. Not on Christmas Day.”
I ignored Da’s comment and closed my eyes. “I remember our last Christmas with Jed. He was so excited because he had figured out the best present to give to each of us. He cooked breakfast for me and did all of the morning chores for Caleb and Da. Then under the tree, he wrapped up slips of paper and told us what he had done for us that morning and that he would do it for the rest of the year.”
Caleb’s hearty laugh reached to the rafters. “I remember that. Da was shocked. So was I.”
“I was shocked he knew how to crack an egg, let alone cook one,” I said.
“Next year...”
“Next year there willna be a Christmas like any in the past,” Da ranted. “Me two children’ll be married and have their own Christmases with their wee bairns.”
“Nay, Da,” I protested. “We’ll all have Christmas together with you and both of our families. It’ll be grand fun. Just you wait and see, Da.”
“Aye,” Caleb said with a wink at me. “And maybe my sister will have a little girl of her own by then.”
“Caleb Iain Stuart! I am much too old to be thinking about things like that. And a little girl? You cannot be serious!”
“You are only thirty, Anna. Mama had Jed when she was almost forty and there are many other women who have children into their forties. And yes, you need a little girl to pamper like you always wished you had been.”
I huffed and stood up. “I need to get the kitchen cleaned up and you have chores to do, Caleb.” The last word had a bit of a bite to it. But secretly, my heart warmed to the idea of having a baby girl of my own to hold and cherish by this time next year. But, God, I’ve never taken care of a girl. I wouldn’t know how to raise a girl.
Trust God, Anna! I scolded myself.
Yes, Ma’am, I answered as I attacked the dishes.
***
After the New Year, Miles was able to find a fill-in preacher for him on the second Sunday of February. Which meant we would be married on Saturday, February 8, 1879. I hadn’t been nervous about the wedding before, but when the date was set and the preacher was booked, then I started to get very nervous. For over a month, I hadn’t had any doubts about marrying Miles, but they suddenly came flooding back to me and Miles had to give me quite a few talks about it.
January sped by with lots of cold weather and some rain. Wilma, Hester, and I got everything finished by the end of January and began working on my dress. Yes, we only had a week, but with three of us sewing, we had it done in plenty of time.
Oh, God, can it be true? I found myself asking this question every day from the first of the year on into February. The Friday before the wedding, I was a nervous wreck and was eternally grateful Miles decided to keep the boys at home all that week without me coming over or them coming here. I would never have survived them.
That night, I tossed and turned as my rattled nerves brought visions of doubts and answers coming into my mind. I finally prayed and God gave me the peace I needed to get a few hours of sleep before the biggest day of my life. The day I would become Miles Jenkins’ wife.
