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Matt picked up Harry's mom for Amanda's dinner party that evening. He walked her to his truck and helped her into the seat.
"Thank you, Matthew. You're a gentleman," she said.
Matt smiled and said, "It depends on who you ask, but thanks for the vote of confidence. You look very nice, Louise."
"Good looks and charm," Louise laughed. "That's not a combination you see much these days."
"If you ask the women at work, they'd tell you that your son has cornered that market." Louise was silent, and Matt glanced sideways. Tactical blunder. She was no longer smiling.
"Is something bothering you?" he asked. They had avoided personal conversation at lunch by choice. Matt knew he was sitting on a time bomb.
She paused, then said, "Since you asked, the answer is yes. Where did I go wrong with Harry?"
"I don't follow, Louise. What's wrong with Harry?"
"Nothing, other than his choice of a wife! Do you have a girlfriend, Matt?" she asked.
He smiled. "More or less, depending on the job we're doing. Usually less."
"Tell me, does she look like she could play short-stop for a professional baseball team?"
Matt laughed, "No, I can't say I've ever dated a girl like that, although I know one with a good pitching arm."
"Matt, I raised three daughters and all of them are... well, girls! CJ is more like one of the boys. I always hoped Harry and CJ would give me grandchildren, but obviously that won't ever happen. I don't think CJ even likes children."
Matt was quiet for a moment. "Louise, just between us, CJ has given you something better than grandchildren." She looked at him with her brows raised. Matt nodded. "How about your son?"
"I don't understand," Louise said.
"This stays between us, and you'll never hear it from either of them. If it wasn't for CJ, you'd have lost your son over twenty years ago, Louise. CJ saved his life."
"Did she pull him off a burning oil rig?" Louise asked with a little sarcasm in her voice. Matt glanced at her, and she sighed. "Harry never worked offshore oil rigs in the North Sea, did he?"
"I wouldn't know about that, but I know Harry was in a bad place when CJ found him. None of the women I've dated could have saved Harry's life. It takes a special woman to do that. CJ may not be a dainty or ladylike, but she'd die for your son, Louise."
"So why didn't they ever tell me this?"
"CJ does not talk about her past and the work she did. She would kill me if she knew I told you. For all her obstinance and brass, she's modest about her accomplishments. She wouldn't want any fuss or commendation for doing what she considered her job."
Louise sat quietly for a few minutes, then said, "Thank you, Matthew."
"Uh, Louise, you're not going to run in and hug CJ, are you? Because, if so, she'll come after me with knife. I'm sure she knows how to conceal a weapon in a bikini. Fully clothed, she's a walking arsenal."
"I could have done without the visual, Matthew," Louise chided.
"Oh, sorry about that. Would it have been better if I'd said Harry could do so?"
"No, that would be infinitely worse, Matt. I'm starting to re-think the 'gentleman' in you." Matt had Louise laughing the rest of the drive.
"Well, this has been the most enlightening visit I've had since Harry married CJ. I'd still like those grandkids, but I'll be grateful for what I have."
"You sound like my mother," Matt said with a smile. "One other thing, Louise? Be prepared for a night like you've never seen. I don't know what Amanda and Sady have cooked up, but I can guarantee you will never attend a dinner party like this again. My advice is to lie low and enjoy the show!"
Matt parked in the ramp and escorted Louise to the lobby. As they entered Harry and CJ came through the front door. The elevator doors opened and Mrs. Davis stepped out with her three children.
"Uncle Matt!" Argus and Bea ran toward him, while Kristen set her sights on Harry and CJ. Harry paled as she approached.
"Meet the newest addition to the Davis family," Kristen said proudly, shoving the baby at CJ. CJ looked at the baby like it was about to explode and put her hands behind her back.
Kristen turned to Harry. He looked ready to pass out. "We named him Harris, after you," Kristen told Harry. She seemed disappointed that neither seemed eager to hold the squalling bundle she offered.
"May I?" Louise asked Kristen. "I'm Harry's mom, Louise." Kristen shoved the baby into Louise's arms and chattered while Harry and CJ made their escape. Kristen didn't seem to notice when the baby spewed milk over Louise's dress.
The look Louise sent Matt let him know she was rethinking the joys of being a grandmother. Matt was getting a headache when Sady stepped into the lobby. She'd come from Amanda's apartment. Matt choked and turned red when he saw her short dress and long legs.
"We're waiting, Matt," she called. "Oh, hello," she said when she saw the rest of the group.
"Aunt Sady," the Davis kids ran to greet her, while Louise handed the baby back to Kristen. Sady hugged the kids, then sent them back to their mother.
"I'm glad they skipped alphabetical order of names," Matt told Sady as they walked to Amanda's apartment. "Can you imagine the 'C' names?"
"Cletus, Clovis... Chloris?" Sady suggested. "I'm glad they went with Harris."
As he held open Amanda's door for Louise, he said to Sady, "You've got snot all over your leg." Sady just smiled.
Matt's mouth dropped when he saw Amanda's dress. It was at least two sizes too small and definitely didn't qualify as semi-formal. "Hoochie Mama" came to mind.
"In what area is that accepted as semi-formal?" he asked.
"Bloomfield Hills, Stubbles. Now close your mouth and move along," she told him. Matt shot a stunned look at CJ. She nodded and grinned. She would know since she had to do a background check on any potential employees. Matt looked at Amanda, then shook his head. Amanda was from Bloomfield Hills, one of the most exclusive Detroit Metro suburbs?
His mind took another blow as he watched Sady use a cloth to wipe her thigh. Matt never thought he would envy snot, but he found himself in that sad position. All the night needed... and there it was! Emily breezed into the apartment with a suspiciously large bag. It was a three-ring circus, and he didn't know on which ring to focus his attention.
There was only one direction for this evening to go, and the smart people positioned themselves out of the direct blast zone. Amanda started by serving wine, downing several glasses herself in a short period. Those who didn't know her surprisingly high tolerance for alcohol waited for her to unravel. She didn't.
At one point her phone rang. She let a whole verse of Queen's 'Fat Bottom Girls' play before she said, "Sorry, that was probably just my Mom. I'll call her later." By then the catchy tune with its risque lyrics about big, fat Fanny, who was such a naughty nanny was etched in their minds.
Matt expected Emily to make a scathing remark, but she was surprisingly quiet. Matt looked away when he saw her bag move. He wasn't going to take the blame for what was sure to happen at some point.
He flopped next to Harry and said, "You ever get the feeling we're on the Titanic?" CJ sat back quietly and watched. Sady, for an unknown reason, attached herself to Louise and proceeded to let her know in every possible way what a hot son she produced. Louise sent a confused look at Matt, and he smiled reassuringly. The crazy train was out of control and running full throttle through Amanda's apartment.
Amanda ditched the glass and was drinking straight from the bottle now. She wedged herself next to Louise's other side. Her terms for poor Harry made Louise blush. No mother ever wanted to hear her son described in those words!
"You know, Momma Knight, I'd be happy to offer my services if Harry wants to be a baby daddy," Amanda said. Harry turned beet red, and Louise didn't know what to say. "Sady would too, but she'll have to wait until her current bun is out of the oven, right Sady?"
Matt glared at them while Sady smiled and nodded at Louise. Poor Louise was flabbergasted. Matt's warning in no way prepared her for this evening.
Emily perked up when she heard Amanda's remark about Sady. She looked pointedly at Sady's left hand and asked, "When are you due?"
"I'm not sure about that," Sady said. "I guess I should find out, huh? In less than nine months, I think. No one told me."
Emily looked confused and asked, "Are you getting married?"
"No, but I'm engaged," Sady said with a perky smile.
Emily gritted her teeth. "When's the wedding?"
"There isn't going to be a wedding," Sady replied.
A timer dinged, and Amanda jumped, yelling, "Dinner is served!" She had a dining set for six, with seven people to serve for dinner. There was a large ottoman from the living room at the end of the table for one unfortunate guest. The table setting was fine china... except that same spot. A mismatched set of dinnerware was laid out there.
Amanda pointed to the end and told Emily, "I wasn't planning on you, so you get what's available." She grabbed Emily's arm and parked her on the ottoman. Short Emily's head was barely above the table height. She frowned at Amanda and pulled her bag closer. "I can get you some books to sit on," Amanda offered. Emily ignored her with a sniff.
Amanda sat Harry at the opposite end of the table. To Harry's right she seated herself, Matt, and Louise. On Harry's left was CJ, then Sady. Emily was between Sady and Louise.
Everyone admitted Amanda's food smelled delicious, and she set a beautiful table. The Cornish hens were done to perfection. Amanda had Harry serving the birds, when Louise sniffed the air and said, "What's that awful smell?" Amanda's brows descended to fight mode.
Louise looked embarrassed and apologized, holding her napkin to her nose. Amanda turned back to Harry, and Sady said, "Oh, she's right! What is that?" Sady put her napkin over her nose as well.
Matt glanced at Emily. She looked bored and pretended nothing was wrong. He grinned at Sady and mouthed, "Wait for it!" Amanda's nose twitched, and her eyes narrowed.
She marched to Emily and said, "You brought 'Poopy Poopsie,' didn't you?"
Emily reached into her bag and pulled out the ball of fur. The smell coming from the open bag wafted down the table. Louise backed her chair away from the table, and Sady's eyes watered.
Emily became defensive. "What if I did? You can't expect me to just leave her all alone with a stranger! If you were a good hostess, you would have made arrangements! Besides, it's just gas. She has a sensitive stomach." She squeezed her dog as it eyed the hens and released more gas.
Suzy decided hens were better than hugging and made a leap for the table. Amanda lunged, and Emily screamed. Suzy lost control of her bladder and tinkled the length of the table before she scored a hen, then used Harry as a springboard to the floor.
Louise looked astonished. Amanda looked murderous. Emily shrieked. Matt howled. Sady tried not to laugh. CJ watched with quiet amusement. Harry's mouth stood open, his hand poised to put a hen on another plate. Suzy ripped around with her bird, looking for escape.
It was a race to see who got to the dog first. Amanda and Emily eyed each other and launched from the table. Suzy, looking terrified but determined, ran through the apartment nervously dribbling with each step. Emily opened Amanda's front door and Suzy made a dash, still clutching the bird in her mouth. Emily ran after her, yelling, "Sweetie, give it back to mommy. You'll choke on the bones!"
Amanda slammed the door and locked it. She turned, and Sady handed her Emily's bag. Amanda tossed it into the hall and locked her door again. "Well!" she huffed, with her hands on her hips.
"Harry, I don't believe I'm feeling well," Louise said. "If you and CJ wouldn't mind driving me back to your place, I'm going to pack my bags and see about a flight home. I think I promised the neighbors I'd check on their house for them when they went on vacation sometime next year."
Harry and CJ took Louise home while Sady helped Amanda clean the mess. Amanda grabbed Matt's tie and said, "First, you're going to order a pizza, then you're going to clean the dog pee!" She twisted his tie and asked, "Do you have a problem with that?" Matt shook his head with a grin. "That's what I thought," Amanda said, releasing him.
Amanda put a Queen CD in her player and they got the whole version of naughty Fanny. By the time Sady finished helping Amanda she was drinking from a wine bottle too. They had finished the pizza and were sitting in Amanda's living room with their feet up on the coffee table. Matt ignored the continuous stream of texts on his phone.
"Amanda, did you really grow up in Bloomfield Hills?" Matt asked. She smiled and raised her wine bottle. "Why are you doing the working girl bit in Ann Arbor?" he asked.
"I'm slumming it," she replied. Then, "Just kidding! I'm an independent woman, in case you haven't figured it out by now."
"I see. Would you care to explain why you and Sady are dressed like you're ready for another stripper act in Vegas?"
"Just giving handsome and CJ a little help, that's all. Momma Knight doesn't seem to appreciate CJ's finer qualities. We just used the opportunity to show her it could be worse," Amanda explained.
Sady raised her wine bottle in agreement. Matt looked at her legs and mumbled, "That's not worse, in my opinion."
Amanda overhead and said, "Why, Stubbles! I didn't know you felt that way. If I was in the market, I'd let you take me out, but unfortunately, for you, I'm not ready to steady."
Matt glared and said, "You're more woman than I could handle, Amanda!" Sady raised her bottle again.
"How much have you had to drink?" he asked Sady. She looked at Amanda, and they shrugged.
"We lost track," Sady admitted. "Does a lot count?"
"That depends. Can you walk?"
"The last time I checked," she smiled.
"Uh, huh. How long ago was that?" he asked.
She lifted her bottle and pointed to a spot near the top. "That long ago." The current level was closer to the bottom of the bottle.
"Time for us to go, Sady." Turning to Amanda, Matt said, "Amanda, I can truthfully say this has been the most entertaining evening of my life... and I saw your Vegas act."
"Matthew, I guess you're like wine. You improve with age. But you owe me serious payback for ruining my party by allowing the blonde to bring 'Super Whizz'."
"Goodnight, Amanda," Matt said, pulling Sady to her feet and steering her to the door. He took her wine bottle and handed it to Amanda on the way out.
As they waited for the elevator Sady said, "Make sure you check before you get on. For a little dog the shit sue has a lot of poop." She traced a finger up and down Matt's loosened tie.
"You look nice semi-formal," she said as if it just occurred to her.
"Thanks, so do you," he smiled.
The elevator door opened. She looked in and sniffed. "Elevator's safe," she announced. Matt pushed her in and closed the door.
Looking down at her dress, she wrinkled her nose. "This isn't really semi-formal."
"No? I like it," he asked. "What do you call it?"
"Semi-trashy?"
"I can think of a few other things to call it," he leered. The doors opened on their floor, and Emily was waiting. Matt hit the 'Close' button before she could stop him.
Sady laughed at the look on his face. He wiped his forehead and pulled at his already loose tie. "Trouble on the tenth floor?" Sady teased.
"Not funny, Sady. Especially after this morning. I'm afraid to go home to my own apartment," he confessed. "Do you think Amanda would let me sleep on her couch?"
"You are desperate, aren't you, Stubbles?" she joked. The elevator opened on the main floor. He held the door to prevent it from closing.
Sady tapped him on the shoulder. "Would you like my help, Meadows?"
"What do you have in mind?" he asked suspiciously. "It's not something that will get me arrested or thrown out of my apartment, is it?"
"Seriously? That dog's been dropping hot loads all over this building, and you're worried about what I might do? Where's the trust, Matt?" She pulled his hand from the door and pushed the button for the tenth floor. "Going up," she announced, wrapping her arms around his neck and pushing him to the corner.
"Why didn't I think of this?" he asked with his mouth hovering over hers.
"Cut the bull. You did think of this," she replied. "You were just too afraid to suggest it." She brushed her lips over his, and when the elevator doors opened Emily got a good view of Matt's arms roving up and down Sady's back... and lower.
Sady looked out of the corner of her eyes and hit the button to send them to the main level again. She waved at Emily and snuggled against Matt as the doors closed.
"She's not too bright, is she?" Sady asked against his neck.
"I think you just insulted me," he said.
"Picky, picky. I'll give her a pass on stupidity when it comes to you." They took a round on the elevator. "It's a good thing we're the only ones on here," Sady whispered. Matt pointed to a camera in the corner so she stuck out her tongue.
Her mouth was otherwise engaged when the elevator stopped. Matt looked, and Emily was still waiting. "Close the door," he told Sady. She giggled and waved again.
"Not so fast," Emily shoved her arm in to stop the doors from closing. "Just what's going on in here?"
They'd changed positions during the ride, so Sady leaned around Matt and whispered, "We're making out in the elevator."
"No crap!" Emily snapped.
Sady looked at her with wide eyes. "I know. We made sure before we got in. You should have your dog's plumbing checked. I think something's wrong with it." Matt had his face buried in Sady's neck as he shook with laughter. "That tickles," Sady told him.
"Really, Matt?" Emily asked. "A woman who's pregnant but doesn't know when she's due, not to mention she's engaged, but isn't getting married? Does she even know who the father is?"
Sady pointed her finger at Matt, and Emily's mouth dropped. "Ooh, he's a good kisser too!" she called to Emily.
"I'm disappointed in you, Matthew," Emily yelled as the doors closed.
"I'm not," Sady yelled back to her. "Don't listen to her, Matt," she advised in a whisper. They took one final round on the elevator before exiting. Emily no longer waited in the hall.
"Did you know you are a good kisser, Matt?" she asked as he unlocked her door.
"Is that your professional opinion?"
She nodded and said, "No, that's my personal opinion."
He laughed and asked if she needed any help to get ready for bed. She wagged her finger at him and left him standing inside her front door.
Matt locked her door and stepped into the hall, realizing the episode with Sady probably made matters even worse. If there was anything at which Emily excelled it was making a scene.
"Pssst!" Matt stopped and looked back at Sady. "Where are you going?" He pointed to his door, and she bugged out her eyes. "Are you stupid, or just... stupid?" She waved a pillow at him. "Hurry up, before she catches you!"
She grabbed his arm and yanked him back into her apartment. They both heard his door open. "That was close," Sady informed him. She shoved the pillow into his stomach. "Here. I put a blanket on the couch for you." She left him standing inside her front door again, with an amused expression on his face.