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"Don't speak. Where's the coffee?" Sady asked Matt in the morning. He handed her a cup, and she gave him a pat on the cheek. "I could get used to this." He smiled as she stumbled back to her room, slamming her door. Her nightshirt announced 'I Said Not Tonight!'
By the time she dressed for work Matt had left her apartment. She knocked on his door before heading to the elevator. He opened the door with wet hair. "Just making sure she didn't kill you," Sady hissed.
"Harry has the pleasure of her company this morning," he said, sounding relieved. "Since he was driving Louise to the airport, anyway..."
"Did your apartment survive, or do you need a fumigation team to clean up?"
"Other than a nasty note, and a few smelly leftovers, I think I survived."
"Good. We have one more day with 'crazy Daisy,' I'm afraid. Amanda's going to the office, so you have to come help me."
"What can possibly be left?" he complained.
"The honeymoon," Sady lied.
His eyes lit up with a spark. "Don't plan it without me," he insisted. "I'll be along shortly. This might even be fun."
Sady didn't burst his bubble. She'd have a hard enough time keeping him there as it was. Dangling the honeymoon planning as bait... well, he'd find out soon enough.
"Okay. Just don't forget we have to be finished before my firearms class. It starts at one. Maybe we should start our big fight at eleven. That will give Harry and CJ enough time to get there and take over before I have to leave."
Matt grinned. "I can manage that. If I pretend you're Emily... no, wait. That might get me arrested."
Harry and CJ had done more homework for them. Online pictures, posted by disappointed clients, showed the substitutions Daisy was making. Instead of a white tent, a few couples ended up with what looked like a striped circus tent, complete with a pointed peak. Other pictures showed white tarps strapped to a metal frame, not the elegant structure Daisy had shown in her brochures.
The padded folding chairs were replaced with old, wooden folding chairs. Sady read the stamp on one of them. It was from a funeral home, for crying out loud! Harry called the funeral home and discovered they loaned the chairs at no cost as long as they weren't needed that day.
The flowers were almost funny, except Daisy had taken someone's money and ruined their special day. Instead of roses or other traditional bouquet flowers, she'd substituted carnations. The white and pink carnations would have been disappointing, but acceptable. The Smurf blue, blood red, and kelly green dyed carnations... those looked like they had come from a grocery store cooler and belonged at a children's party.
Garishly decorated sheet cakes, invitations printed from a computer with ink that ran, imitation seafood, turkey instead of chicken... Daisy's substitutions were creative. And she was within her "legal rights" because of the signed contract.
Sady was looking at flower arrangements when Matt arrived. Daisy reminded them that their final payment was due. Sady nodded and kept shopping. They decided to end the charade without risking any more money, by calling off the wedding... after their big fight.
"So, where's the honeymoon packages?" Matt asked.
"You'll find out at eleven," Sady promised. "Why don't you ask me then? What do you think of this arrangement?"
"It looks like it belongs on the winner of the Kentucky Derby. And I mean the horse!" Matt was building up to a blow-out argument.
"How about this one, sweetie? Aren't the flowers pretty?"
"Maybe for a funeral."
Sady forced out a tear as Daisy grew agitated. "Why don't you run along and see about the final payment?" she prodded Matt.
"And leave her to pick ugly floral arrangements?"
"The women usually decide on the flowers," Daisy said.
"That's why there are so many ugly brides," Matt told her bluntly. He could see Sady trying not to laugh.
Daisy gave up the round. "Why don't you look at the flowers then?"
Matt casually looked at the arrangements on the computer screen. After a half hour he said, "Nothing is really calling out to me, Daisy. Don't you have anything with orange and purple?" Daisy turned white, and Sady almost spit out the water she sipped.
"This isn't a sporting event!" Daisy snapped. Then she remembered the fifteen thousand dollars, and she twisted her lips into a smile. "Orange and purple aren't traditional wedding colors, so that's why our florist didn't offer samples. I can have something made up for your approval if you'd like. Or, I can see if our children's party catalog has an arrangement in those colors."
"Nah, don't bother. I changed my mind. I like this one," he said, pointing to the first arrangement Sady had chosen. Daisy's face turned red, and she wrote down the item number with difficulty.
Sady clapped with excitement, and Daisy rubbed her forehead. "I want to show off my wedding dress," she told Daisy.
"Of course you do," Daisy mumbled to herself. With a smile that would soon need reinforcing, Daisy reminded Sady that it was bad luck for the groom to see the bride in her wedding dress.
Sady giggled and said, "That's only on the day of the wedding. I read that somewhere. I think it was a bridal magazine that came in the mail. No, I was standing in the checkout line at the store, and it was on one of the magazines. You know how you always read them when you have to wait a long time? It could have been the lady behind me who said that when she saw me reading the magazine. Wait, I remember now... it was the cashier, I think. Either way, they saved me the bother of paying for the magazine. Which means I can model my dress!"
A vein on Daisy's temple throbbed wildly as she tried to follow Sady's ramblings. She was in a near stupor when Matt snapped. "Well, put the thing on already!" Daisy took Sady to the fitting room and shoved her into it, along with her dress.
Twenty minutes later Matt yelled, “Are you lost in there, or did you just forget what you're doing?”
The fitting room door flew open, and Sady hopped out with one hand behind her neck and the other holding up the front of the gown. "I can't reach the hooks," she explained.
"You didn't think to ask for help?" Matt asked sarcastically.
"Why do you think I came out of the dressing room, dummy? Just for that Daisy gets to do me up." She took two steps in Daisy's direction, stepped on the dress, and fell with a ripping sound.
"It comes with insurance, right?" Sady asked Daisy, who now looked ready to faint.
"Now you know why we nicknamed her 'Grace'," Matt scoffed. "Get up, before you smash the baby," he scolded Sady, not offering to help her stand.
"Well, don't strangle on your strap," she replied sharply.
Daisy was nearly unstrung, watching Sady roll around on the floor. She managed to get herself wrapped into the dress like a cocoon after more tearing sounds.
"A little help here," Sady demanded from the floor.
Matt picked her up and patted her bottom. "Daisy, I don't think that dress is going to work for us," he said, as Sady hopped back to the dressing room.
The sound of Sady ripping off the dress, literally, had Daisy's mouth opening and closing repeatedly.
"Daisy, I think I outgrew that dress already," Sady yelled over the door.
"I'll be in my private office for a few minutes," Daisy said in a strangled voice. "I'll meet you..." She didn't finish her sentence as she left the room in shock.
Matt stood outside the dressing room door. "Bet she's taking something for her nerves," he laughed. "Hey, do you need any help in there?" He ducked as the dress flew over the top of the door, in two pieces.
"Yeah, you get to give those to Daisy." A few minutes later she stepped out with lowered brows. "What's with 'Grace' and the butt slap?"
"Just making it real," he said with a twinkle in his eye.
"If you want real, then hold on," she warned. "It's eleven, and I'm ready to unleash!"
They waited a few minutes for Daisy. Her cheeks were flushed, and her breath smelled like mouth wash.
"We want another dress," Matt said. "This one doesn't fit Sady any more." He handed the two pieces to Daisy. She just nodded and set it aside. "Besides, it's ugly."
"Well, excuse me!" Sady said in a huff. "Since when did you become an expert in bridal gowns?"
"You don't have to be an expert to recognize ugly."
"Then why didn't you say something when I picked it? I told you it was my dream dress. Didn't you hear me say that?" she asked, sounding hurt.
"I didn't realize your dream would end up looking like a nightmare!"
"Well, maybe I won't wear a wedding gown after all," Sady steamed. Daisy raised her hand to protest, but was unable to speak.
"Now, that's more like it! Speaking of no clothes where are we going on our honeymoon?" he leered.
"Home. You've already had the honeymoon, remember?" Sady asked, patting her stomach.
"Listen, just because you don't want to take your belly to the beach doesn't mean I feel the same. I'd like sit out on a hot beach somewhere, with a cold beer..."
"You just want to watch the women with big boobs, don't you?" Sady asked scornfully. "I should have listened to my momma!"
"It's a little late for that, don't you think? Besides, what's wrong with big cans?" he asked.
Turning to Daisy he asked, "Do you have a problem with big hooters?"
Daisy plopped down into her chair, opened a drawer, and pulled out a flask. She didn't answer Matt. Instead she took a slug from the flask.
"I may not have big jugs, but at least I don't have a flabby butt. Unlike your last girlfriend!"
"Well, she compensated for it on top," he responded with an evil grin.
"And they were fake," Sady told him.
"So, who cares?" he asked. "I'm not interested how they look inside. It's what's available for public viewing that matters. You have to admit, she had a nice set of melons."
Sady's mouth dropped, and she looked to Daisy for support. Daisy reached for her flask.
Uh, oh. That wasn't good. A drunk Daisy wasn't in a position to make binding legal decisions. Sady rolled her eyes at Matt and nodded at Daisy. He grabbed the flask and took a sip, wincing at the contents. Daisy reached out and her hands followed the movement of her flask, but she didn't say anything when Matt put it in his pocket.
"Sure, run to the bottle when things don't go your way," Sady accused. "It's a miracle you even managed to get me pregnant."
"You can say that again," he responded.
"Are you implying that I'm difficult?"
"Would it be better if I said you're easy?"
"If you keep up that attitude I might not marry you at all," Sady threatened. That got Daisy's attention.
"Is that a promise?" Matt asked. "Or are you just leading me on again?"
With a scream and a flood of tears that put Emily to shame, Sady had a meltdown. Daisy intervened. "Maybe you should talk this out. Is there someone who can referee... I mean arbitrate... is there anyone who can help?" Sady pulled out her phone and sent a text.
"Do you have any food?" she asked Daisy. "I'm hungry."
"Here comes the flabby butt," Matt said under his breath.
"Look on the bright side. At least I'll have a rack to match!" Sady yelled as Daisy hooked Matt and pulled him to the break room. Daisy had a full stock of food and beverages. She loaded Matt's arms and grabbed a pile for herself. They took it back to Sady, who refused to eat alone. Matt glared, so Daisy ate with Sady.
By the time Harry and CJ arrived they figured Daisy's blood alcohol level was within the legal limit. Just to make sure, though, Harry sat and talked with Sady, while CJ pulled Matt outside. Harry smiled at Daisy and asked her to stay. They didn't want her nipping in another room. She plopped down in her chair again, this time to stare at Harry.
"Poor Harry, he's too nice. He always gets stuck as the mediator," CJ laughed, standing outside with Matt.
"That's because you'd just beat everyone into submission."
"You say that like it's a crime," she joked. After a half hour, Matt looked at his watch.
"Sady needs to leave if she's going to make her class. It's time to end this thing. Do you have the paperwork?" CJ gave a malevolent grin and waved her folder.
The receptionist took them back, and as soon as she opened the door Sady jumped up and yelled, "It's over. We're done." She turned to Daisy and said, "You were right about the dress being bad luck! You shouldn't have let me show him. Now, I want a refund!"
Daisy looked nervously at Harry and CJ. "Well, about that. Did you read your contract thoroughly, like I suggested?"
"Did you?" CJ countered, as she waved her folder under Daisy's nose.
"Sorry, Daze, I have to run," Sady said with a smile. "I don't want to miss my weapons class. Toodles!"
Sady patted Matt on the cheek and said, "Remind Emily not to get too close to an intense source of heat. She might melt and ruin the show." She pulled him close and whispered in his ear before she left. He smiled and gave her a mock salute.
Sady spent the afternoon in the classroom, qualifying for her pistol permit. Matt, CJ, and Harry spent a surprisingly short period of time convincing Daisy to admit to the error of her ways.
She was agreeable to partial refunds for some of her clients, like Harry's niece- after she was presented with the documents they'd collected.
CJ laid out the terms. "You'll set up an account, and as you take on jobs, you'll keep contributing until you've paid your debt. Our accountant will look through your records and decide who'll be getting refunds, and how much. I don't care what you tell your clients. Call it a clerical error if you want. Just make sure they get paid."
While CJ was talking, Matt whispered to Harry, "Our accountant?"
"Yeah, our accountant... Amanda. She's a woman of many talents. She has a Bachelor's in Business Administration- go figure!"
"I'm not sure I care to know any more of her secrets or talents," Matt confessed. "She's already too much to handle!" Harry agreed with a snort.
It was quiet, and Harry realized the women were looking at him. CJ was waiting for him to ask about his refund. To his surprise, Daisy hesitated.
"Well, there's the small matter of a damaged wedding dress," she said. "I think a thousand will cover the cost."
Matt laughed. "Sady warned me you'd try it. She said to tell Harry that $500 is a generous amount for a dress of that quality. A 'cheap polyester dress,' whatever that is." Daisy looked like she'd sucked on a lemon, but agreed to the $500.
As they left, Daisy handed Harry the torn dress, along with his refund. Harry looked at the dress and tried to hand it to CJ. She glared and grabbed the check, so Harry gave the dress to Matt. "Consider it a bonus for a job well done."