FIFTEEN

Stone

“Thank you for calling,” Marge Brown, features editor of the Mudville Inquisitor, said after I’d identified myself on the phone as Anonymous.

“Well, after the tenth private message I figured I’d save us both a lot of time in the future and call to tell you whatever you’re selling, I’m not interested.”

“Mister . . . um, what should I call you?” she asked.

Shit. It wasn’t like I could give her even just my first name. Thanks to Mom, I didn’t have a normal name like John or Jim or Steve. None of us boys did.

Even if by some miracle the woman on the other end of this call hadn’t heard of Stone Morgan before this month, she definitely would have heard of me now that I was running for mayor.

Dammit. I knew I shouldn’t have replied to that last private message from the paper. And I really shouldn’t have agreed to call them after refusing to meet in person.

“Uh, Anonymous is fine,” I finally answered, deciding to stand my ground—that ground being firmly hidden behind the pseudonym I continued to cling to. At least for this phone call. Probably beyond it too.

“Okay, Anonymous. Although, I hope that soon I’ll be calling you Mister Naughty.”

I drew back at that, my mind going off in all directions.

Did she know who I was and that I dated Harper and that Harper was using Ms. Naughty as her profile name on the forum? How could she know?

But if she’d been following the account on the forum, she’d have seen some people calling me Mister Naughty. That was probably it.

Less panicked I still wasn’t sure what to say.

“Uh . . . um,” I stuttered but couldn’t come up with anything else.

The woman laughed. “I’m sorry. I’ve taken you by surprise. I’ve been following your posts on the Mudville forum. More importantly, I’ve been watching the interaction between you and Ms. Naughty and the reactions of the other commenters. Your engagement is on fire.”

I had to agree. That whole forum, or at least my part of it, had become a complete dumpster fire. It was one of, but not the main reason, why I was seriously considering walking away from the account.

That damn forum took up too much of my time anyway. Time I should be devoting to getting everything ready on the farm for the Christmas season—and Boone’s wedding.

Time I should be spending with my girlfriend before she found out it was me behind Anonymous and dumped me.

“The public loves you,” Marge continued.

I snorted out a laugh. “Not all of them, according to some of the comments.”

In fact, I’d say I was running about forty-sixty lately—those who were haters versus those who were fans of my advice.

What I’d learned was that most people who asked for advice don’t actually want it. What they wanted was someone to tell them they’re right. I wasn’t that person.

I’d learned the hard way some people didn’t like being told the truth. It didn’t matter if I was talking about farming or women.

“That’s a good thing,” Marge said. “You inspire strong responses, both good and bad. That’s what we’re looking for in this new column.”

“New column?” What was she talking about?

“That’s why I wanted to meet with you. We want to launch a weekly advice column feature in the Inquisitor and we want you to write it.”

“Me? I’m not a writer.”

“You could have fooled me. You sure do a good job of it on the forum.”

“Uh, thanks, but—”

“You’d be able to write it on your own schedule. Whenever you had time. We’d email the questions we receive to you. You’d email the responses back to us. We’d print them.”

I let out a laugh. Me. Writing an advice column in the local paper. It was ridiculous. “Ms. Brown, that all sounds well and good but—”

“There’d be monetary compensation, of course. And please, call me Marge.”

She kept dangling what she thought would be temptations, but she needn’t have bothered. I wanted nothing to do with digging this hole I was in any deeper. This secret was already getting in the way of my relationship with Harper.

“Marge, thank you for the offer. But I’m going to have to say no. I’m not even sure I’ll continue as Anonymous on the forum.”

“Can I ask you to at least think about it? Take a few days. Let the idea settle in. It might grow on you.”

“I don’t think it will, but okay, I’ll think about it.” I’d think about what a colossally bad idea it was.

“That’s all I ask. Thank you. I look forward to hearing from you soon.”

“All right. Bye.” I disconnected the call and blew out a breath.

“So who’s Marge and what’s she offering?”

I spun to see Boone behind me, arms folded as he leaned against the wall of the coop. I was obviously going to have to find a new hideout. But for now, I had to get rid of my nosy brother.

“How the hell did you get in here without me hearing you?”

“You were occupied.” Boone’s gaze dropped to the cell still in my hand. “Although I have to say now that I know, I’m not all that surprised you’re Anonymous on the forum. It makes sense. In fact I can’t believe I didn’t figure it out myself. All that know-it-all advice . . .”

I narrowed my eyes at him. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Don’t you?” Boone laughed. I didn’t. 

Then things went from bad to worse as Cash walked in.

Three grown men in a building made for chickens was a tight squeeze. The fact I’d prefer to be anywhere else rather than with these two made it feel even more crowded.

I moved toward the door, intent on getting the hell out of there.

“Hey, Cash. Did you know that our own Stone is the brilliance behind Anonymous on the Mudville forum?” Boone’s voice behind me had me stopping with my hand on the door.

I dropped my chin to my chest and blew out a cuss.

“No, Boone. I didn’t know, but actually it makes sense,” Cash said.

“Doesn’t it though?” Boone agreed.

"I thought you didn't go on the forum," I said to Cash.

"I didn't until Harper made you run for mayor. Then I decided to join and watch you go down in flames on there." Cash grinned.

Biting out another curse that would have cost me a pretty penny if the cuss jar was still in effect, I turned to face them. “It doesn’t matter anyway. I’m shutting down the profile.”

If I hadn’t made my decision before, these two figuring it out clinched it.

“What happened? Is Harper making you shut it down?” Cash asked. He turned toward Boone. “Red told me Harper is out of her mind pissed over the Anonymous account. Harper is Ms. Naughty on the forum. The one who’s always disagreeing with Anonymous in the comments.”

Boone burst out with a laugh. “Man, oh, man. This just keeps getting better.”

“Harper doesn’t know,” I mumbled.

That silenced both of my brothers, but not for long.

“She seriously doesn’t know?” Cash’s eyes widened.

“So you’ve been lying to her?” Boone looked equally shocked.

“No. I never lied. I just didn’t tell her. But to be fair, she never asked me if I was Anonymous so . . .”

Boone cocked up a brow. “That sounds like something one of your stupid followers on the forum would say.”

“Mmm, hmm.” Cash nodded. “And what advice would you give that person? Hmm, Stone?”

I sighed, knowing exactly what advice I’d give in that case. “I’d probably tell him what she didn’t know couldn’t hurt her. To delete the account and move on.”

Cash opened his mouth and then closed it again before saying, “Actually, that’s probably the smartest thing to do.” 

Only I didn’t want to do that. I wanted to be honest with the woman I loved, even if it did upset her. Harper was right. Anonymous gave crap advice.

Boone frowned. “I’d tell Sarah if it were me. You shouldn’t keep things from Harper.”

“Oh, look who’s an expert on women now.” Cash tipped up a chin toward Boone.

“Who’s the only one of us three getting married? Huh?” Boone countered.

These two fighting was the last thing I needed today. “Can we all just chill about this, please. I’m shutting down that account. Anonymous is dead as of today.”

“And Harper? You telling her or not?” Boone asked.

“I don’t know. I’ll decide later.” I raised my gaze to my brothers.

Could I trust them not to say anything about this?

That answer was a big no.

I didn’t think they’d go behind my back and tell Harper. But I also knew Cash had a big mouth. Especially when it came to oversharing with his girl.

There was a good chance he’d tell Red. Then Red, who was Harper’s best friend, would run right to her.

“Here’s what I don’t understand. Who was that woman you were talking to on the phone?” Boone asked.

Cash looked from Boone to me, suddenly very interested again.

I sighed. Might as well spill it all. “The editor from the Mudville Inquisitor.”

People always said the three of us all looked alike. I couldn’t argue that now as I watched the twin expressions of shock settle on my two brother’s faces.

“What did she want?” Cash asked.

“They want me to write an advice column for the paper.”

Cash went from surprise to hysterical laughter. “Oh man. That’s the funniest thing I’ve heard in a long time.”

Boone’s lips twitched. “It is pretty funny.”

“It’s really not,” I said, getting annoyed. Make that more annoyed.

I knew Harper. She already hated Anonymous. If she knew he—I—had gotten offered a column, she wouldn’t be happy. 

Scratch that, she’d be flipping pissed.

Then, when she found out he was me—I didn’t even dare imagine what would happen. All I knew was it wouldn’t be good.

Which left me with more questions than answers about what I was going to do. And not a whole lot of time to figure it out with the two ticking time bombs that were my brothers.

Ironically, what I needed was some advice.