Now that we've examined the cheerful information that living from Don't Wants is how we've created the vast majority of our lives, let's get to the business of understanding what Wants really are, and what on earth we do with them once we've uncovered them.
Sounds stupid, doesn't it? Everybody knows what they want in life, right?
Wrong! Wants are about the most frightening, misunderstood, neglected element in the entire human race, and I'd lay odds that, for most people, just thinking about them is more terrifying than a dentist's chair without painkillers.
But before we delve into the tantalizing realm of Wants, it's important we understand what it is that gives joy and passion to our lives and makes life worth living. Oddly enough, what gives us happiness is the very thing we think we would like to avoid—contrast: likes and dislikes, Wants and Don't Wants. As strange as this logic may seem, without contrast, we would probably go insane.
To better illustrate this bizarre concept, come fly with me on an imaginary journey over a fictitious town on a fictitious planet called Sameville.
There it is, right below us. The area looks just like Earth, has the same terrain, the same-shaped people, same everything. It all seems identical to Earth except for one ghastly condition—everything is gray: the landscape, the buildings, the cars, the animals, the bodies. It's all the same color, even the same shade! The people have no oomph in them, because everything is the same. They have no challenges, no hurdles, no obstacles, no contrast!
Notice the inertia of the people? It's boredom, and it's overpowering. Little wonder. No one has to make decisions in Sameville, for all decisions have the same outcome. No mate is different from the next, all jobs have the same level of stimulation, and … have you seen enough? The scene looks about as close to hell as we'd want to get.
Who'd want to live in such a place? What would be the point? Nothing to rise above, nothing to desire, no differences to appreciate, nothing to inspire enthusiasm. Simply a place of incalculable boredom, which is precisely what we came here to Planet Earth to avoid. We came in search of diversity and differences. We came, strangely enough, for the contrast.
That's what our third dimensional Planet Earth offers, a cornucopia of alternatives and choices, a training ground to help us determine what kinds of things we don't like, so we can turn around and—thank you very much—create the kinds of things we do like. Like the man said, if the only ice cream ever made was vanilla, life would be pretty dull.
So we have choices; lots and lots of choices offering us not only the opportunities to live and enjoy whatever in this bountiful world we desire, but also to find out just how much torture and deprivation we're willing to put ourselves through before permitting those desires into our lives.
Let's face it, we are unequaled wizards at identifying what displeases us, but not too hot at allowing ourselves to identify what we really, reeeally do want so that we can magnetize those things into our lives for the sheer joy of having them.
Life was meant to be, “Don't like that, do like that.” Instead it turned out to be, “Don't like that, but guess I'm stuck with it.” Then we bitch and stew and fuss and gripe about all the stuff we're stuck with, which of course keeps us even more stuck right in the middle of where we don't want to be.
So what do you want? Do you know? Do you dare to dream? Do you dare to desire? Do you dare to let your imagination (the most divine and mighty gift of the human race) run to the winds of fancy? What do you want? What do you dearly, truly want?
As we back gently into the rather startling awareness that everything in our experience has come from our focus and how we've been feeling, it's probably only natural we should think, “Well, wanting may be okay for others, but I'm not about to start daydreaming like that now. My life's all right, I've gotten by, so why should I open myself up to more disappointments at this point?”
We see all the things we would like to have but don't, all the places we would like to be but aren't, all the ladders we would like to have climbed but didn't. When very little has gone the way we would have deliberately chosen, why start wanting now? It's the old “The more I want, the less I get” scenario, along with the other side of the same coin that says, “Sure I have lots of desires and Wants, but I don't ever expect to get them anyhow.”
Sad to say, we've been brainwashed into believing that most Wants are not only self-serving egotistical no-no's, but absurdly impossible.
Do you remember when you were in, say, third or fourth grade? Not only were you old enough then to understand disappointment and how much it hurt, but you were already a seasoned veteran at knowing how to avoid those feelings. You found out early in life that the more you wanted something, the more you experienced the heartache of not having it. You probably just stopped wanting unless, of course, you had an ironclad guarantee that your Want would materialize.
Even before that, as a toddler who relished exploring, you waddled over to the glittering glass vase on the TV set and got screamed at: “No, no, don't touch!” Not once, not hundreds of times, but some sixty thousand times (say researchers) in a three-year period you were told, “No, bad, you don't want that!” By the time you reached your fourth birthday, you were thinking twice about wanting much of anything. Wanting equated to “bad.”
Nor does it stop after toddler years. “No” to this, “no” to that, “absolutely not” to what seems like just about everything as you're growing up. By the time you get to high school, it's pretty tough to do much real wanting beyond what is socially acceptable, like getting your first car, going to the prom, or working your way through college. God forbid you should want to bum around the world until you think of something else better to do. God forbid you should want to become a millionaire by next year. “Ridiculous! Get your head out of the clouds.” So most of us just lay those passions aside as we trudge into the dogmatic Shoulds and Have To's of adulthood.
We have seen the great truth which states: The more we want something outside of society's book of rules, the surer we seem to be of not getting it. We dream, it never happens. We dream a little more, it doesn't come. Pretty soon we bow to the fictitious truth that dreaming of, or wanting anything outside of the norm (and often even within the norm) is just not a fun thing to do. The more we want it, the worse we feel for not getting it.
Finally, with the exception of the littlest dreams, the ones we know are prudent and obtainable, we stop dreaming altogether. And there we stay, in the bleak sanctuary of Sameville, protected by the erroneous belief that if we dream small and nothing happens, we won't be hurt big.
Dear God in heaven, what a way we've chosen to live.
Crashing a lifetime of programmed deprivation can be a bit scary, primarily because it means changing. But crash it we must if we are to become creators by intent instead of creators by accident. And honestly, learning how to want productively (and finding out that it's okay) is not that big of a deal once we learn how to want, instead of don't want.
There are three basic kinds of Wants, each with its own purpose in our dream file.
First are the Real Wants that come from the Don't Wants. “I don't want to go to my in-laws for the holidays; instead I want … ?” “I don't want to live here any more; instead I want … ?”
Those are the easiest. Just turn the page of a Don't Want, and there's your Real Want on the other side.
Next are Negative Wants, the ones that have to be flipped over before you can step out of them. You can spot them by how you feel, since they never make you feel good until you get your intent refocused.
“I want to be well” has a clear focus on the apparent fact that you're not. That's a Negative Want. “I want to be rich” presents the same difficulty. Both are coming from a place of lack that causes us discomfort by the very fact that we don't have what we're wanting. Negative Wants are always Don't Wants and can be tough to spot unless you tune into your feelings.
If you're overweight and want to be thin, and you say innocently enough, “I want to be thin,” that's a Negative Want and will never, ever feel like a warm fuzzy. It's coming from longing, or yearning, or empty wishing, all negative energies. It's coming out of need, which is fear; not out of desire, which is excitement.
Naturally, you wouldn't be wanting something if you had it, but if your only focus is on the fact that you don't have it, it will never come. It can't, for your focus is on its absence.
If what you want—and the way you are stating it—is not making you feel good, it's Negative Wanting and needs to be flipped over to become a positive intent, an excited desire.
Finally, the third kind of Wanting I call Rightful Wants for the simple reason that we have a right to our desires, no matter what our religions may say to the contrary, or our parents, or friends, or coworkers. We have a right, by virtue of our existence, to test our creative skills in any manner we choose. We have a right to displace any Don't Want—any Don't Want—in our lives with a Want, at any time. And if it pleases us it will probably also please others. If not, well then, so be it.
With Rightful Wants, we finally come out of the closet of “shoulds,” and “gottas” and go for living Life … our own!
With Rightful Wants, we accept the very real fact that it is not only appropriate and proper, but critical for us to want: anything … anywhere … of any kind … in any amount … in any shape … to any degree … at any time we so desire. Anything! Anything on the face of this earth if those things will take our lives off hold, get us out of Sameville, and start us vibrating closer to the joy channel of our real Selves. This is the only reason we have Wants, to make us feel good when we have them.
Yes, I know, all this may sound callous, uncaring, and grossly self-serving. But, please, bear with me before jumping to conclusions, and you'll see how this outrageous approach to life will also profoundly benefit all who surround and depend on you.
I say to you, “Okay, what do you want?” And you say to me, “Oh, that's easy. I want enough money to pay my bills, take care of the kids, have a nice house to live in, a job I like, a loving partner with whom to share it all, and perfect health. I wouldn't mind a new car, either.”
Well that's a start, and a good one. But that's all it is, a start! Indeed, to most in this world, having all of those obviously wonderful things would seem like living in heaven! But if we are to unleash that power we call passion where we can finally live closer to the frequency of our Natural Selves in profound joy, we've got to go beyond the obvious … way beyond!
So what else? What else do you want?
Yes, of course, Wants change over the years. You've probably outgrown wanting a pony for your birthday (and then again … ?), or a spiffy new hot rod to drag the Main on Saturday night.
Yet still, there is within you an amazing inventory of long-forgotten fantasies. What are they? How long has it been since you dared to savor their tantalizing flavors or partake of their exotic adventures in your daydreams?
What are your smallest, your biggest, your oldest, your newest, your most deeply hidden desires, ambitions, aspirations … the ones that are so far out, so impossible, so unobtainable, that never have you so much as whispered them aloud … to anyone … not even to God? What are they? What have you stopped allowing yourself to want?
This planet is not Sameville! We came here for the contrast. We came here to learn how to manifest our desires. We came to learn discernment and to cultivate this strange art of wanting which equates to manifesting. Instead, we got ourselves caught in the pointless skill of diligently collecting Don't Wants.
We came to learn how to create our desires, fulfill our dreams, prosper, and take this exquisite experience called “being physical” to its zenith.
We came to experience the good with the bad, that we might learn how to choose likes over dislikes.
So have them!
Take your treasured dreams out of that crowded old closet, dust them off with loving care, and give each one a long, hard look.
Forget that they're too far out.
Forget that they're hopeless or too unthinkable.
Forget that someone will think you've lost it.
Forget that you might be called selfish.
Forget those things!
Wanting is not only your right, it is an absolute prerequisite for a happy life.
Now here's the big news: you don't have to be worthy of a blasted thing to have your desires.
You don't have to prove, or witness, or demonstrate, or pass a moral test.
You don't have to explain your reasons, or make excuses to your family, to yourself, or to God.
You don't have to be any more worthy, or deserving, or trustworthy, or upstanding than you are now.
You only have to make one decision … just one … and that is to be happy.
But you will never start down that road until you allow your Wants—your dreams, your desires, your hankerings—to come out of the closet, not just peek around the corner of a cracked-open door, but come all the way out!
Like any hidden talent that you've either consciously or unconsciously known was there but didn't feel comfortable bringing out, once you accept the fact that wanting is part of you, and that doing it is really okay, it becomes fun. Joy starts to flow. You begin to vibrate differently, for when you are in joy with Life you cannot vibrate negatively and you cannot attract negatively, only positively.
When you are in joy with Life, you cannot feel insecure, ashamed, unworthy, unsafe, guilty, or inferior in any manner, because you aren't vibrating there. You cannot feel lack of any kind. Nor can you attract it.
The only thing you will do as you begin to unlock your Wants is vibrate more joy, more abundance, and more freedom into your experience. Small price to pay for dreaming, wouldn't you say?
And it makes no difference what you choose to dream! Choose your dream because it makes you happy, and you'll vibrate it into your life. Dream the dream of joy, dream the dream of fulfillment, dream the dream of frivolity, but DREAM!
Having desires—wanting—is no more a sin than breathing. Never again think you have to justify your Wants. Just don't! You cannot be justifying, defending, or rationalizing—which is all negative flowing—and remain connected to your core energy.
You need make no excuses to anything, anybody, or any higher or lower authority for your desires. Certainly not to God. To do so is to turn your back on your own higher energy, thus denying your very existence, your divine right to Life. Contrary to common teachings, gaining happiness is your hallowed right of birth.
So let yourself go, and dream. You are already creating your life every moment of every day by how you think and vibrate; you might as well create it the way you'd like it to be.
One of the best ways to uncover some of those long-hidden Wants is to pretend. Remember, all that's required for you to have it—whatever “it” might be—is wanting it and feeling it, without explanation, excuse, apology, or reason.
The challenge now is to peel the onion down far enough to get past the rigid layers of Shoulds, Shouldn'ts, and No-No's, to the long-forgotten thrill of—and passion for—Life.
Pretend it's Christmas time (this isn't religious, so humor me, no matter what faith you are). You're the Santa Claus at the mall, replete with scratchy beard and pillowed tummy. You're listening to all the wee folk rattle off their long lists of socially acceptable Wants, but after a while you decide to spread around some magic dust so that kids of any age will feel the urge to reveal some of their less socially acceptable Wants.
Up comes a little cutie-pie, about six, who hops up onto your knee. She starts to give you her list: a few special toys as seen on TV, and a couple of the old standbys like a doll and a puppy. That's it. Nothing new.
So you spread your magic dust and out it comes: a big swing in the back yard, a daddy to be around more, a mommy who will take time to play, someone—anyone—who will believe about the pretty angels in the bedroom, and somebody to always make everything all right. Oh, and lots of brothers and sisters, please. Then she jumps down, happy as a lark.
(Do you remember what your secret Wants were at six years of age?)
Next a tall, gangling eighteen-year-old comes up, having fun with the experience and quite willing to go along with the gag.
“All right now, what would you like Santa to bring you?” Once again, even though the teenager is gladly entering into the spirit of this silliness, the list is alarmingly short. “Well, I'll take that new car you've got hidden in your sack, Santa. And I wouldn't mind a few thousand dollars in my stocking for play money. And if you just happen to have a hot romance back there in your sleigh, hey, that'd be cool!”
You sprinkle your magic, the eighteen-year-old relaxes, and out comes an amazing list of Rightful Wants having to do with careers, and friends, and success, and fame, and clothes, and living conditions, and family, and yachts, and genuine happiness, “Whatever that is,” he mumbles.
(Do you remember what your secret Wants were at eighteen years of age, and what dreams got stuffed away so that you could live in the “real world”?)
Finally comes the adult, gleefully hopping up on your Santa Claus knee as the kids watch and snicker.
“And what would you like, m'friend,” you ask expectantly. You're dismayed to find that this person has the shortest list of anyone so far, as though every hope and dream ever owned just flew to the next galaxy. Oh, there's the new house, and new car, and a flippant crack about winning the lottery, but that's it. Quickly you sprinkle your magic dust. Nothing. You sprinkle more. Still nothing. You empty the bag.
Slowly at first, as if having to be pulled up from the deepest, darkest depths of the ocean, comes a comment about having a pie shop. And another about learning to play the piano. A pause, and then another about taking a horticultural course at the local college. And another about building a unique kind of sailboat. This one's on a roll now. There's another about being able to financially help a friend open a dance school, and another about having an automatic garage door, and another about living in an elegant home overlooking the aqua blue waters of a Caribbean island.
There's no stopping now. Another deep desire pours out about being able to talk with a partner about daydreams. And another about opening a summer camp for city kids, and feeling safe in earthquake country, and something about having the confidence to talk in front of a group of people. There's one about improving relations with certain family members, and learning how to be more loving, and on, and on, and on. It took a full bag, but the dam holding back those long-forgotten treasures finally broke.
What dreams have you put aside? Your ambitions, your forgotten goals, even your littlest desires—what are they? WHAT ARE THEY?
Back in the forties, the adored comedy team of Abbott and Costello had a routine that always brought the house down and ultimately became a classic. It was their “Who's on First?” routine that started something like “Yes, Who's on First.”
“Well, if Who's on First, then who's on second?”
“No! Who's not on second, he's on first and What's on second.”
And around and around, until everybody was in tears of laughter. To this day I go into stitches whenever I see it replayed on TV.
Well, if you were to take the paradox we're about to get into now, it sounds just as loony as “Who's on First?” Like so:
If I take all my Don't Wants—which make me feel bad—and turn them into Wants—which are supposed to make me feel good—I still end up with something I know I don't have— which sure doesn't make me feel good—and something I'll probably never get anyhow—which makes me feel worse than I did before I started this whole stupid thing!
Ah, 'tis a great predicament, because if you had it, you wouldn't want it.
So the very act of wanting carries with it the rather obvious implication that you surely do not have it, and if you do not have it, how in the Sam Hill can you feel good about it until you get it?
You can't! Not as long as you keep wanting things the old way.
The dilemma comes from our thinking that the burden of acquiring what we want is all on us, that we're the ones who will have to figure out how to get it, how to come up with the money for it, how to arrange for it, how to make it happen. Once we get that far, our next thoughts are usually something like, “Oh hell, that's just not possible,” which invariably causes us to stop wanting. Easy resolution, straight from our old programmed way of thinking.
The key to having whatever your most divine heart desires—bar nothing—is finding a way to feel good about your Want: not wish for it, yearn for it, long for it, sigh for it, or feel discouraged about it, but just feel good about it. (Remember, need is from fear, desire is from excitement. They are at the opposite ends of the vibrational pole.)
So here we are in this quandary. We're wanting, which usually makes us feel bad, because not only do we not have what we want, we haven't the foggiest idea how to get it.
The solution? Change the feeling!
When you want something, hold your thoughts on that Want for a few moments until some sort of feeling comes up: any kind, good or bad, Red Flag or Green Flag, doesn't matter. Then tune into that feeling. If you feel low instead of jazzed, disheartened instead of turned on, you're thinking about not having instead of having. You're thinking about the lack of what you want.
On the other hand, if you're feeling even a twinge of excitement, or a nice warm buzz, you're on target.
The whole process of creating on purpose is about getting our thoughts OFF what we don't want, ON what we do want, and keeping them there. Once we've gotten that far, our job is to find ways to feel good about those Wants instead of lousy when they're nowhere to be seen and would appear to have no way of showing up.
So the question is, how do we get from down to up every time we think about a Want, because as soon as we're up, we're vibrationally overriding all those downer feelings we get when we're focused on the obvious fact that our Want is nowhere in sight.
We already know that the trick to turning a Don't Want into a Want is to find ways to feel splennnndid about that Want instead of discouraged. And it doesn't matter if it's an old one that's been locked away in your Want closet for ages, or a brand new fresh desire; the process is the same.
So here's how we feel good—in fact terrific—about wanting something we don't have, or we think is impossible to obtain, or don't deserve to have, or could never afford, and is entirely too complicated for a tired brain to figure out anyhow. This is the most important component of the Law of Attraction that is guaranteed to pull in Wants rather than Don't Wants:
Once you know what you want, you must find the FEELING PLACE of having that Want, while at the same time staying out of the feeling place of not having it.
In other words, feeeeel (get jazzed about) what it would be like to swim (if you don't know how), rather than feeling embarrassed when everyone but you runs into the water.
Feeeeel (get jazzed about) yourself in your new job, rather than constantly crabbing about—and feeling trapped in—the one you have now.
Feeeeel (get jazzed about) your pride in accomplishment as you approach the platform to receive your well-earned degree, even if you haven't started classes yet.
Feeeeel (get jazzed about) what you want your new mate to be like, and how great it will be being together.
Feeeeel (get jazzed about) what it will be like owning your own airplane, and the joy and pride of flying friends and family all over the place.
Now you're vibrating in harmony with your greater Self. Your desires are joyously included in your vibrations, magnetizing, growing bigger each time you feeeeel the reality of them for just sixteen seconds. You've broken out of the negative vibrations of social consciousness to live in—and vibrate in—the only energies that are capable of drawing that Want to you, the higher, hallowed frequencies of Feel Good.
Once in that space, you and your Want are literally pinging together. Instead of flying Red Flags and pinging in harmony with the lack of your desire (which means you'd be pulling in more lack), you're flying Feel Good Green Flags and pinging in harmony with having it, whether “it” even exists yet or not.
As long as you don't spend too much time worrying about why “it” hasn't shown up yet, that jazzed, stoked, turned-on, high, happy vibration you feel when you think about having it will eventually magnetize it right into your lap.
That's all it takes, good feelings, one of the rather important elements of living that we as a species seem to have forgotten how to embrace as steady diet.
To help a Want magnetize in, we need to get our juices running so we can flow out as much positive, excited energy as possible. One of the best ways to do that is to talk about the “whys” of wanting something. The What defines, but it's the Whys that charge your battery and start the juices running.
It's like asking a guy who's bonkers about eating steaks blood-rare why he likes them that way. He'll tilt his head back, close his eyes and drift off into la-la land as he describes the tastes, savors the juices, caresses the texture, and withers under the heady bouquet. That's big-time feeling and big-time vibrating, all from a single little question: “Why?”
As you think about all the Whys of wanting something, you begin to latch onto it in feeling. You get more turned on, more passionate. And, you're creating a whole lot more sixteen-second intervals to flow highly charged, very magnetic energy to the thing rather than just blurting out, “This is what I want.”
So by stating your Whys, you're giving that Want a much-needed jump-start. Like your car with a dead battery, until you energize that battery with a charge, your car is going nowhere. No charge, no go; no oomph to your Want, no magnetism; no magnetism, no get.
In one of my weekend seminar groups, a gal spoke up with, “All right, I understand now that I've been focusing on the lack of my dream, but I can only come up with one Why.”
“Okay, what is it you want?”
“I want a summer cottage by the ocean.” (No oomph.)
“Why?”
“Because I hate being housebound in the summer.”
Ah ha, a major Don't Want. I kept asking why.
“Why don't you want to be housebound in the summer?”
“Because I like the feeling of leisure and relaxation I get from a summer house. And freedom, yes, I like the freedom.”
“Good! You're starting to connect; let's keep going. Why do you like the freedom?”
“It makes me feel good … and happy. Oh yes! I remember feeling so happy as a youngster in our summer home. It was a wonderful feeling.”
“Now we're getting there. Tell me more; what's your summer home like?
“Well, it's a gray Cape Cod cottage, kind of weather-beaten, but so homey. And it has white trim. Oh, how I love the crispness of that white trim.”
“More. Is it close to the water?”
“Oh yes, right on the dunes.”
“Why do you want to be close to the water?”
“Oh, because it's so soothing, even in the stormy weather. It makes me feel real, and alive. I can paint there, and watch the sunsets, and lose myself in the vastness of it all, and well, everything just comes alive in me by the sea.”
Yes! Finally this gal was cooking on the front burner! Her juices were running and her vibrational frequencies were becoming higher and higher, magnetically charging up that growing Want-thought with every new thought she fed it. I kept asking why, and she kept telling me because, because, because. And with each because, her frequencies were soaring. This “thing” was now becoming a part of her, incorporated in her vibrations.
Ask yourself over and over why you want something, and keep asking, and keep asking, and keep asking, even when you think you have no more answers. Then pretty soon you'll be in dreamland feeling mah-vel-ous, just where you need to be to magnetize this thing in.
Now! Here's where you want to summon your willpower to stay in that vibration as long as you can, maybe up to half an hour or even all day. But if it's just a couple of minutes, great, that's enough to get the swirl of energy started. Remember, you need only sixteen seconds to get the same vibrational thoughts clumping into an energy vortex, then another sixteen seconds, and another, and another. If you slip into “Forget it, that's just an impossible dream” in the middle of your upper, simply change vibrational gears, think about something that makes you feel good, get your motors revved up again, and you'll quickly override that Red Flag vibration.
(Don't forget, the universe gives us not what we speak, or what we deserve, or what we're supposedly destined to have. The universe gives us precisely—and only—what we are vibrating in every moment of every day. Nothing more, nothing less).
Before you know it, the Universe starts responding to your vibrations with little signs here and there, amazing little “coincidences,” all the magic pieces necessary to put this thing together. They just keep coming, and coming, and coming until it's all in place, with you right smack in the middle, living your once “impossible” dream.
But you gotta taste it, feel it, smell it, and drool over it before it's going to happen. You gotta talk about it until you can feel yourself living it, and then talk some more until those turned-on feelings—the fundamental element of Step Three—come to you with the utmost ease.
One of the best ways I've heard to describe Feel Good energy is the analogy of a valve, or nozzle, the kind you find on a fire hose. We're the valve, and the fire hose is what carries the energy flow from our Source, that greater part of us that we're forever connected to.
That stream of nonphysical energy is what we really are, an unfathomable force of joy, abundance, and security. Most of the time we keep ourselves cut off from that full stream of energy. How? With our closed-valve negative energy.
But when we tune in, turn on, and feel good, we open that magic valve to let our high-vibrational flow flood through us. Now we feel alive, up, vibrant, energetic, excited, turned on … all better known as happy.
Like the water pressure in our hose, the energy is always there, but we have to take purposeful, deliberate steps to open that rusty old valve if we want our high-frequency Source energy to flow through.
Having an open valve (feeling good) means positive energy is flowing to us, through us, and from us, and we're creating on purpose.
Having a closed valve (anything that feeling good isn't) means we're flowing negative energy, resisting our natural flow, and creating by default.
This doesn't mean we have to be flapping around higher than a kite all day long. All we have to do is squeak open our valve even a crack, and we instantly let in a little bit more of that Life-giving flow. If we can find ways to feel just a tiny bit better than before, one little feeling at a time, then we've begun the reversal of a lifetime of negative attraction.
After you've started to get your Wants out in the open, there's one more step that's helpful here, and that is turning your Wants into Intents. Because the word “want” might still cause some emotional blisters to erupt, you may feel a whole lot better “intending.”
Intending is sort of a combination of “I want” and “I expect.” And a good place to start is by intending for small things throughout the day. Not only does this provide some valuable practice along with rapid evidence, but it opens up new and much needed energy pathways that have never been opened before. And each new pathway means you're receiving more of that higher flow of Source energy than you were before, so feeling good becomes easier … which opens you to more and higher energy … which … etc., etc.
Daily intending develops these new outlets for the energy to flow through. The more we intend, the more we're using that high-frequency energy, which quickly becomes a two-way street; the more we use it, the more of it we're getting. This creates a sort of protective cover around us, like wrapping ourselves in a safety blanket where we have much less chance of being sideswiped by old beliefs that continue to bring us things we don't want.
I make it a point to intend with little things all day long. I intend to arrive at my destination safely. I intend to be on time and feeling great. I intend to find a convenient parking place. I intend to feel good in my clothes. I intend to sign the deal. I intend to keep my bank account at a certain level or beyond. I intend to find joy all throughout the day (not such a little thing). I intend to help my clients feel at ease. And, as long as my valve is open while I'm intending, they always come about.
On the larger issues, if your intent for the day is to feel joy, you wouldn't even be able to find an upsetting show on TV. If your intent is to have your new kitchen installed without a hitch, that's the way it will be unless you close your valve over something. If your intent is to finish the harvest before supper, watch how easily you get it done.
With major, larger Wants, if you will turn every Want into a statement of intent, and allow yourself to feel the power behind it, like YEEEESSSSSSS!!!!!!!!, you'll be amazed at what transpires.
“I INTEND to move by next year!” means “I haven't a clue how it's going to happen but I know I'll find out, because I'm determined to do it!”
“I INTEND to have a new relationship!”
“I INTEND to learn to line-dance!”
“I INTEND to have a full bank account!”
“I INTEND to find happiness in all that I do!”
“I INTEND to make new friends!”
“I INTEND to find a deeper spiritual connection!”
You must feel the strength when you speak it. Feel the authority, the force of command, the muscle behind the energy leaving you. The completion.
But use with caution. Intending is a dynamic unto itself not to be abused and never to be turned into a mindless habit.
Whether you call it intending or wanting, take off your shackles and do it!
Dare to want. Dare to dream new dreams. Dare to take your old dreams out of the closet and dust them off.
Give yourself permission to want; in fact, make yourself want.
Then pick a funky, nonessential little Want and start talking about why you want the thing until you get the hang of clicking into that turned-on feeling. Before you know it, you'll be having physical manifestations on your hands, and I'm here to tell you, when that happens, it's a screamer of the first degree.
Check out what you like or don't like about what you've got in your life right now. Then get over the guilt of wanting and get that Want motor revved up, for wanting brings the passion, passion brings joy, joy brings more wanting, and now you're creating on purpose. You are the inventor and partaker, all in one. (Never mind being the design engineer who has to figure out how something will come together. That's no longer your job.)
Go for material things, of course, but also stake your claim for universal or intangible things such as:
I want joy to radiate through my heart.
I want my whole family to feel joy.
I want to know that everything is always okay.
I want to have a greater sense of freedom.
I want to know I have choices.
I intend to see more choices.
I intend to trust that all is well with the world.
I intend to learn deliberate creating.
I intend to learn to become an energy manager.
I intend be aware of my resistance.
I intend to be aware of my feelings.
I intend to enjoy life to the fullest.
I intend to have more fun.
I intend to lighten up.
I intend to have a closer connection with my Source.
The point is to get over the stigma of wanting, and do it. Dare to want whatever in this whole wide world will give you pleasure, for wanting is taking charge. Wanting is creating. Wanting—and manifesting those Wants into reality—is fulfilling your reason for being. And therein lies the true richness of Life.