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The rumbling of motorcycles has me fidgeting on my front porch. I’m wearing jeans, a jacket, and boots, but I’m still not loving the idea of getting on the back of one of these bikes, especially not with a man who can’t stand me. I’ve never been on a motorcycle; you could say I’ve seen far too many accidents involving them and I’m not really all that keen on risking my life. I also know I’m not going to get a choice because Alarick wants me there, and I can’t say no to anything right now, not if I want to keep the club safe.
The large group of bikes rumble to a stop outside my house, and I stare over at them, shocked by how powerful they look in a group like this. They’re scary and they’re dominant, like a pack of wild wolves that you would never dare mess with. I’ve seen them together before, but never like this. Their jackets are like a sea of leather, a warning to anyone who dares mess with them.
I rub my arms and see Briella wave to me from the back of Alarick’s bike, then I see Merleigh riding with Bohdi. I raise my hand, nervously, and then watch as Kendric pulls up, throws his leg over the bike, and strides toward me with a purpose that makes me uneasy. He stops in front of me, intense eyes locking with mine. “Let’s go.”
“I don’t ... I don’t know about this. I’ve never been on a bike before.”
“Get on the bike, Zariah.”
Bossy. As. Fuck.
“Look, maybe I can just follow you in my car. Yeah, I’ll do that. I’m not comfortable with this. I’ve seen what happens on those things.”
Kendric leans down, so his face is close to mine. “Get on the fuckin’ bike.”
Oh, no. Hell no.
“Excuse me?” I snap, crossing my arms. “You want me to get on the bike with you when we both know you can’t stand me. For all I know you’re going to do something to hurt me.”
“I’m not a fuckin’ monster,” Kendric growls. “I don’t hurt people for no reason. I’m not your fuckin’ boyfriend. Now, get on the fuckin’ bike before I put you on it myself. You don’t want to look stupid in front of everyone, do you?”
My mouth drops open, but before I can say anything else, he shoves a helmet down onto my head. I gasp and my hands fly up to slap his away so I can do it myself. He turns on his heel and walks toward the bike, climbing on and starting it up. The loud rumble is barely heard beneath all the other bikes. I walk over, legs wobbly, and when I reach the bike, I stare at him. I can’t see his eyes anymore through his dark glasses.
“Get on,” he yells over the sound.
I swallow, glance at Briella who gives me a thumbs up, and then I throw my leg over the bike and position myself behind Kendric. I didn’t realize until this moment just how close I was going to be to him. My body is pressed against his, and I can feel every inch of his hard back. My fingers tremble and I wave my hands around aimlessly for a few seconds, not really sure where to put them. Kendric reaches around, grabs my hand and jerks it around his waist.
Oh, god.
I put my other arm around and link my fingers in front of him. My heart is racing and I’m so nervous I could vomit. Everything is alive inside my body right now, I don’t know what to feel, I don’t know if I’m nervous or excited. I do know that I’m wrapped around a biker who, right now, can’t stand me. Yet, I feel strangely good. I like the feeling it’s giving me deep inside my chest. We won’t get started on my vajayjay, because that’s betraying me in all kinds of ways now.
Damn thing doesn’t know what’s good for it.
The bikes take off with a loud roar, and I squeal into my helmet and tighten my arms around Kendric’s waist as we pick up speed. Then, oh then, I feel the freedom in my bones. I’ve never felt something so exhilarating in my life. All at once, I understand why they do this, why they risk their lives, why they ride these loud machines. It’s for this feeling, the one I’m getting right now. It’s attacking my whole body. Joy and excitement, a rush I’ve never experienced.
I can’t stop the huge grin from spreading across my face. I want to throw my hands into the air and scream at the top of my lungs, I want to whoop with utter joy. So, this is what freedom feels like?
Every single moment I hang out with these men has me realizing exactly why they do what they do.
They live a life so many of us could never begin to imagine.
They don’t answer to anybody but themselves.
They have a family that isn’t bound by blood, but something much stronger.
They’re a brotherhood that would literally die for one another.
I’ve never had that in my life.
The ride is over too quickly, even though we’ve been on the road for two hours. I could stay on here all day, curled around Kendric, not worrying about anything but the wind blowing against my body. Nothing in the world can touch me, and I love how that makes me feel.
We arrive at a large warehouse and the bikes all come to a stop, shutting down. Suddenly it’s way too silent. My ears ring as I get off the back and pull my helmet off. Right now, standing amongst them all, I don’t feel like a cop. I feel like family. Just family. Like I’m part of this club. Part of them.
I kind of like how that feels.
Kendric turns to me when he removes his helmet and says, “Not so terrifying, now was it?”
I shake my head; I can’t stop the smile spreading across my face. Something in his expression changes when he sees it, like his face goes a little softer, like he’s surprised to see me smile like that.
He makes a huffing sound, but not an unhappy one, almost like a silent chuckle, and then turns toward Alarick who is walking toward us, Briella in tow. They stop in front of me and Briella asks happily, “So, did you love it?”
“I have to admit I kind of did,” I say.
She claps her hands with a thrilled squeal.
“Down to business now,” Alarick says, interrupting his woman’s happy dance. “We’ve got shit to get through here. The man we’re about to talk to has information that we need. He happens to have inside knowledge, and we hear he may very well know Blanche well. Nobody speaks but me. You’re all here for backup, nothing more.”
I want to say something, but I don’t.
He calls the shots here; I respect him enough to ensure I don’t overrule that.
“We’re takin’ five inside, the rest wait outside. Zariah, you’re comin’ in with us. Mostly because you can see things we can’t, like lyin’ or evidence. We need you to have your cop head on, but don’t show it. Clear?”
I nod.
Kendric, Alarick, Cohen, Bohdi, and I are the ones who enter the warehouse. I have no idea what we’re about to walk into, or if it’ll end badly, all I know is that they’ve brought me here for a reason. Backup maybe? Or proof that Steven is involved somehow. One way or another, I’m certain that Alarick has a plan, and I’m part of that plan.
We enter the warehouse through a side door and, once inside, we’re immediately faced with eight very big, very burly men. They’re all standing, guns in hand, and I immediately tense up and reach for my gun, only to remember I don’t have it. That’s a bad move, because one of them looks at me, and his eyes narrow. He’s a big guy, maybe six foot, but he’s built like a brick building. The man is pure steel and he’s got the darkest brown eyes I’ve ever seen. He’s gorgeous, without a doubt, and I’m unable to look away.
“You brought a cop.”
His voice is husky and thick, it perfectly matches him. Is this another club? Some sort of gang? They’re all wearing similar clothes, but not leather jackets. They’re seemingly a group, all of them standing the exact same way, all of them incredibly good looking. Cartel maybe? I’m not totally sure.
“Don’t know what you’re talkin’ about,” Alarick says, his voice low and incredibly deadly.
“She reached for a gun, moment she saw us. Nobody does that.”
“I do that,” I say, my voice strong and unwavering. “I do that because I always carry a gun.”
The man holds my gaze, tipping his head to the side. I don’t break eye contact—I stay strong and stand my ground. He needs to know that I’m not going to back down. He needs to know none of us are.
He finally breaks contact and looks back to Alarick. “What do you want?”
“We want information.”
The man smiles, making him look so breathtakingly dangerous it sends shivers up my spine. “Don’t we all.”
“We’re not here for a war. We stick to ourselves, you know that. We’re here to find someone who fucked over my club. Someone who needs to be taken down. We’ve got word you know somethin’. Wouldn’t be here if I didn’t have to be.”
“What’s in it for me?”
Alarick cracks his neck, and then growls, “What do you want?”
“You’ve got somethin’ I want.”
“No,” Alarick mutters, his voice a low hiss. “Not happenin’.”
Wait what has Alarick got that he wants? I don’t understand.
“No deal then, you can leave or I can make you leave. We both know I’m goin’ to win if it comes down to that,” he growls, stroking his gun.
Alarick’s fists clench and Kendric steps forward and, in a voice that’s so terrifying my skin prickles, he says, “You can have it.”
Alarick goes to argue, but Kendric puts up a hand. “I’m goin’ down if we don’t get movin’, Pres. We need the information they have. Gotta sacrifice somewhere.”
“We’re not fuckin’ doin’ it, no fuckin’ way,” Alarick barks.
“We are fuckin’ doin’ it. She don’t wanna be around us, she’s goin’ to do a runner anyway. He can give her what she fuckin’ wants.”
“I won’t fuckin’ do it,” Alarick snarls in a voice so deadly it makes me jerk.
Her?
Who is her?
“Give me Cova, I give you everythin’ you need to know,” the man says, his voice a low boom in the large warehouse.
Wait, what? Cova? He wants Cova? Why in the ever-loving hell would he want Cova? What has he got to do with all of this?
“It ain’t happenin’, I’ve got twenty men outside, armed. You want a fuckin’ war, we can lay it out right here,” Alarick snarls. “Your choice.”
The two of them lock gazes for so long I feel my knees tremble. I didn’t know this was going to go like this. If I thought there was a chance of bloodshed, I would have come prepared.
“She’s mine; one way or another I’ll have her. It’s only a matter of time. You know this.”
Who the fuck is this man?
“Right now, I’m not here to sell lives that don’t belong to me. You goin’ to give up what I want or am I goin’ to leave?” Alarick asks, crossing his arms, but his expression remains steely.
“I’ll give you what you want, you give her a message ...”
Alarick nods.
I don’t understand what’s happening.
I don’t get it.
What the hell is going on?
Is this man related to Briella and Cova somehow? Is he an ex-lover? Is he someone she dealt with in the time she was living with Bryant after being sold? I don’t understand. I have so many questions swirling around in my head, and very little answers. I need those answers, and I need them now.
“Your cop owns an island south of here. Don’t know what goes down there, but I do know that he’s runnin’ somethin’. Got names, people who can give you answers, locations. As for your boy Dax, got word he was seen in a town where boats from the island dock. Not tellin’ you who gave that word. Got the niece, Aviana, and her location just yesterday.”
Jesus. Who are these people?
Alarick nods. “Appreciate what you can give me.”
“Now, it’s my turn,” he says, his voice low. “You tell Cova that I’m comin’ for her, and she will be mine.”
Jesus. Christ.
What the hell is happening?
“I’ll pass it on.”
“You can’t hide her forever. One way or another, I will have her with me.”
“I’m not hidin’ her, she’s free to make her own fuckin’ choices now. She wants to be with you, she’ll come to you.”
The two of them have another stare down, and then Alarick turns and walks toward the entrance. The guy hands Kendric some papers, and just as we reach the door, he says, “Alarick?”
Alarick turns.
“Don’t ever fuckin’ come here again. Next time, I won’t be so nice.”
Alarick nods.
Then we leave.
What the hell just happened?
~*~*~*~
THE SECOND WE ARRIVE back at the club, I immediately turn to Alarick and demand, “What the hell happened back there? Why does that man want Cova?”
“What?” Briella says, placing her helmet down. “What man?”
Alarick gives me a look that could kill, and in a deep voice growls, “My office. Fuckin’ now.”
We move quickly, and the moment we reach his office—Alarick, Briella, Kendric and me—I spin again. I cross my arms, but before I can speak, Briella demands an answer from Alarick. Taking a deep, angry breath, he tells us everything we need to know. I guess it’s clear to him nobody is backing down from this.
“That man was Colton ‘Jagger’ Ferguson. He’s the leader of a big, dangerous fuckin’ cartel. Known him a long time, he’s come through over the years. We don’t have beef, but we don’t get along. We stay out of each other’s way and business. He’s a dangerous man and he’s not someone you want to cross.”
“Then why the hell does he want Cova?” I demand. “He was adamant on getting her.”
“What’s going on?” Briella asks, her voice soft. “You’re going to sell my sister?”
“I’m not fuckin’ selling anyone,” Alarick barks. “I’m not fuckin’ doin’ a damn thing. If you’ll let me speak, I’ll tell you what I know.”
We both stop speaking, but my heart is racing.
“He and Cova have a past. Before she was sold to Bryant, she was with him. Not for the right reasons. Could call it a drug kidnapping. She was with a man Colt wanted to bring down, so he took her as leverage. The two of them had some twisted fuckin’ relationship, I don’t know the details. She got away from it all, only to run into Dax and be sold by him. Colt couldn’t find her, and he’s been lookin’ ever since. Don’t know what went down between the two of them, but that man has an obsession I don’t even want to try and understand.”
“How did I not know about this?” Briella asks, shaking her head.
“Because Cova don’t fuckin’ talk,” Kendric mutters.
“Exactly right,” Alarick tells her. “She don’t fuckin’ share much about her past.”
“But you could have!” Briella cries. “It would have helped to know there’s a man out there after her.”
“He ain’t goin’ to take her against her will, but he is persistent and he’s goin’ to find her, one way or another.”
“No he’s fucking not,” Briella crosses her arms.
“Not up to you to make choices for her, babe,” Alarick says, his voice a little calmer.
“She’s my sister, she’s been through enough. She doesn’t need to go with some cartel lord!”
God.
This is just too much.
I wonder what Cova thinks about all of this?
No doubt nobody will ask her. She doesn’t have choices. That’s her problem. Since she was a young girl, she hasn’t had any choices. She’s been forced to do things that she hasn’t wanted to do, sold to people. Now she’s with Briella, but again, it’s not by choice. I wonder how she’d feel if she actually got a chance to make a choice for once.
“I think you should tell her,” I say, knowing I’m about to rip off a very well stuck Band-Aid.
“What?” Briella gasps, her face scrunched with shock.
“Before you tear my head off, honey. Just listen. Cova hasn’t been given choices in a very long time. Everyone makes them for her. How are you to know what went down between the two of them? She may want to speak with him. She may not. But isn’t that her choice?”
“He’s dangerous!” Briella yells.
“No more dangerous that this club.”
Her face drops and she gives me a look that hurt, it does, because I know I’m upsetting her and I hate that. I don’t want her to hate me, and I don’t want her to be disappointed in me, but when it comes to Cova, everyone is blinded. They’re blinded by their desire to help her, which I fully understand, but I also know that when you’re being pushed and you’re in a situation you can’t even understand yourself, you’re going to push back, and you’re going to make the wrong choices.
“Look, hear me out,” I say when both Alarick and Kendric give me a look that cuts through my very soul. “I’m not saying anyone in this club is bad, not at all. I’m simply stating that if you’re going to look at that group as dangerous, you could just as easily look at this group the same way. We don’t know that the two of them had a dangerous relationship. We don’t know because we’re not giving Cova the chance to speak for herself.”
“She’s broken,” Briella argues, her voice a little less high pitched. “She doesn’t know what she wants.”
“Honey, that’s because you’re not giving her a choice. You love her, you want to help her, you’re doing everything you can to make her life better, but what you don’t understand is that you’ve taken her rights away. In protecting her, you’re wearing her down and pushing her further away from you. I think if you tell her this, if you give her a little bit of a chance to show you she can make her own choices, you’re going to gain a lot more of her respect.”
“Girl has a point,” Kendric says, holding my gaze when I swing it in his direction.
“I get what you’re saying.” Briella sighs. “I really do, but Cova is so messed up ...”
“Yeah, she is. So are the best of us. Take it from someone who has been where she is, maybe not in the same way but in a way that made me question everything. I made so many wrong choices, hell, I still do, but at the very least ... they were my choices. Every single time somebody interfered, I would push back, and I’d disappear further into myself.”
They’re all looking at me now, no doubt wondering what happened to me. I’m not about to get into it with them, but I had to use my story to make a point. Cova deserves a bit of freedom—she’s not an animal in a cage, she’s a human who has had so much taken from her.
“I’m just asking you to consider it. I won’t tell Cova if you decide not to, that’s not the sort of person I am, but I really think you should tell her. Let her make the choice. Let her decide if she opens up about it or not. She’s a grown woman, and since she can remember, she’s had her choices taken from her. Let her have some back.”
Briella’s lip wobbles and she drops her head, exhaling. “You’re right, oh god, I didn’t see it before, and now I feel stupid.”
I step up to her, taking her shoulders. “Listen to me, you saved that girl. You fought to get her out of a hellish ordeal. You did the right thing, you’re protecting her in the best way you know how, I’m simply giving you something else to consider.”
Briella looks up at me and gives me a small smile. “I hope whoever hurt you is no longer in your life, because you’re a rock, Zariah. You’re the kind of person people look up to. You’re so strong.”
I step back, my hands shaking at her words.
I’m not strong, though. I’m not.
I still have Reece in my life. I still let him hurt me instead of fighting back. I am still so damned weak around him.
No, I’m not strong.
“We’re havin’ a cookout tonight, discuss everything we know. You’re welcome to stay,” Alarick tells me. “Know it would mean a lot to Briella if you did.”
“Yes,” Briella says, giving me a pleading look. “Please stay. Karen is coming, Merleigh will be here. We’d love it if you could be here too. You’re one of us now.”
Am I though?
Am I really?
Or will I always be just slightly on the outside, never quite fitting in?
I put a smile on my face and say, “I’d love to.”
I’m sure I’m making a mistake, but here I am, doing it anyway.
Because they matter to me, even if that very thought terrifies me.