Ugly

By Loki Dewitt

1

“O. M. G. It’s hideous!” Brenda had always been a sucker for flea markets, because no matter how many times she went, it always felt like a treasure hunt. From vintage sunglasses, nostalgic VHS tapes, to used books that told stories she would remember forever, she always managed to find something that was not only interesting and eclectic but magically perfect. What she held in her hands was, in her mind, another one of those finds. She held the sweater out in front of her and took in the gaudy swirls of tinsel and garland that framed the tree in the center of it. The tree itself was decorated with various bits and bobs of shiny things and fuzzy balls with a big shiny plastic star on top. The entire thing was the very definition of kitschy, but that was what made it so perfect. She turned around and held it up so her friend could see it too. “Liz, look at this!”

Liz turned around and spotted the sweater and a sour expression crossed her face. She shook her head as Brenda made her way over. She knew Brenda was into things that were slightly outside of the norm, but the sweater in her hands was something else entirely. “It looks like a holiday special threw up all over it.”

Brenda smiled and nodded enthusiastically. “And that is why it will be perfect for you to wear to the Christmas party at your job.” Brenda held the sweater up to Liz so she could get a better idea of how it would look on her.

Liz looked down at it. Somehow, it looked even worse than she thought it would. She shook her head and looked up at her friend. “I’m not even going to go to that stupid party.”

Brenda cocked her head to the side and pursed her lips. “Is it because of Scott?”

Just hearing the name made Liz’s stomach turn. Liz had worked for years to get all the credentials to break into the graphic design business. College loans, unpaid internships, and working for exposure—she knew it would all be worth it once she accomplished her dream. That was the feeling that came over her the day she got hired at Digital Dreams. She could still remember how she felt when she sat down at her workstation for the first time. There was finally a place where she could put all the skills she had worked so hard to develop to work and start building her reputation. Everything was perfect.

Then came Scott.

Scott was an award-winning designer and the one in the highest demand at their office, and he wasted no time informing Liz of that fact. At first, she was happy to be greeted by someone with his reputation. Obviously, he knew what it took to really make a name in their line of work. In fact, he offered to tell her some of his secrets...over dinner and drinks.

Liz could tell by the way he responded, that he wasn’t used to being rejected. He didn’t let that stop him though. In fact, he seemed to take it as a challenge and had been pursuing her ever since. Not only that, but he continued to rack up accolades, sometimes at her expense. She had told Brenda that it was a wonder that he got anything done, considering how much he thought with his other head.

That was two years ago, and she still loved her job, but she hated Scott more and more each day. She was still in her workstation, while Scott had been moved into a private office. She saw him in there sometimes, headphones in, surrounded by all his awards, making his ego bigger and bigger, one pixel at a time. Each time he caught her looking, he would shoot her a wink and blow a kiss, and each time it made her skin crawl. Brenda was right in thinking that Scott was the reason she didn’t want to go to the Christmas party. It was bad enough that she had to see him every day at work, but she knew that there would be booze at the party, and the only thing more obnoxious than Scott was drunk Scott.

“Listen, you can’t let him keep making you miserable. All your co-workers like you, so go have fun with them. And when you do, you can wear this sweater.” Brenda made a happy noise, as she looked down at the sweater again. Before Liz could object, Brenda was already making her way to the checkout counter. Liz chased after her, but by the time she got there, Brenda already had the sweater on the counter and was reaching for her purse.

The old lady working the register looked down at the sweater and smiled. “I am so glad to see someone get this. Did you know I made it myself?”

Brenda shook her head. “Really?”

The old lady nodded. ‘I just love how bright and happy the holidays are, and I wanted to share that with the world and help them stay warm at the same time.”

Liz watched as they finished the transaction. She could have stopped Brenda from swiping her card, but she didn’t want to offend the old lady, who was so proud of her work. The smile on the woman’s face as she folded the sweater carefully made her smile too. She knew how wonderful it felt to feel like someone appreciated your work, and she wouldn’t want to take that from her.

Brenda put her card back in her purse. ‘Oh, it’s wonderful that you made such a great ugly sweater.”

The old lady stopped and looked at her. Her expression darkened as she looked over her glasses at Brenda. “You think it’s ugly?”

Brenda let out a chuckle. “Of course. If it wasn’t, I wouldn’t have bought it.”

Liz felt her heart sink. She knew that Brenda wasn’t trying to be mean, but the expression on the other woman’s face made it clear that she didn’t see it that way. The old lady closed her eyes and said a few words in a language that Liz didn’t understand, and based on her reaction, Brenda didn’t understand either. The words flowed smoothly, and ominously in an almost rhythmic manner as they left the older woman’s lips. There was a moment of silence after the last word was spoken, allowing it to hang in the air.

The old woman slowly opened her eyes and patted the sweater. “May the ugliness in you shine more clearly than the ugliness you see in the sweater whenever you wear it.” Liz could have sworn she saw a sinister smile flash across the old woman’s face as she stuffed the sweater into a paper bag. But, when she looked up at the two, the older woman’s smile was warm and pleasant. “Have a nice day and happy holidays.”

Brenda took the bag and headed out the door of the fleamarket to the busy sidewalk outside, with Liz being only a few steps behind. Brenda was scanning around for her car when Liz stepped in front of her. “What the hell was that?”

Brenda shook her head. “What?”

“That old lady was being super weird.”

Brenda laughed. “You mean all those gibberish words? Liz, she’s an old lady who runs a flea market and makes sweaters. She was probably just messing with us.”

Liz nodded. “It just seemed so weird...”  Her words trailed off as she looked at the paper bag in Brenda’s hand.

Brenda patted her friend on the shoulder. “Yeah. She was probably just trying to scare us because we called the sweater ugly. It’s not like she cursed it or anything.”

As Brenda laughed, Liz felt her mind start to ease. She wasn’t used to dealing with more eclectic folks like Brenda was, and her imagination was probably running away with her. She looked up at her friend and smiled. “Yeah, you’re right. So, where to next?”

“Well, I don’t know about you, but I could really go for a Candy Cane Cappuccino.”

Liz nodded in agreement and the two headed toward Brenda’s car, neither of them knowing that the old lady was watching them through the window of the flea market, a wicked smirk on her face.

2

Liz looked down at her phone and scoffed. She had been doomscrolling through social media when a message popped up on her phone. Without thinking she tapped on the message. As soon as it opened, she saw that it was a group text sent to remind everyone about the Christmas party later that night. She had already made up her mind weeks ago that she wasn’t going. The plan was to simply say she forgot, but as soon as she opened the message, it registered that she had read it, so that excuse wouldn’t work anymore.

“Damn it.” She muttered the words softly to herself as she realized that due to something as small as an errant tap, she was stuck in a position where she would either have to think of a fairly elaborate excuse, or just suck it up and go. She got up from the couch and wandered toward the bathroom. Her reflection greeted her in the mirror, and it didn’t look too pleased about the situation she was in either.

“Listen, if you don’t show up, it’s going to look bad. Besides, you don’t have to stay the whole time. You can always call Brenda to bail you out if it gets too bad.” As she said Brenda’s name, she remembered the sweater her friend had bought her. She sighed as she walked over to pick it up. If she had to go to the party, she figured she might as well wear the hideous thing. She held it up and turned back to the mirror, holding it in front of herself. As she took in her reflection, she noticed that hers was not the only face in the reflection. The old lady from the fleamarket stood behind her, a wicked grin on her face. Startled, Liz spun around, only to find no one else in the room with her. She took a breath and shook her head.

“Calm down, Liz. Just because the sweater made you think of the old lady, it doesn’t mean she is here.” She slid the sweater on and checked out her reflection again. The top fit better than she expected. In fact, it seemed to hug her curves in all the right ways. She turned and posed, taking in her reflection from different angles. The sweater was ugly, but it looked really good on her. She leaned into the mirror and ran her tongue over her teeth before smiling mischievously.

“I make this ugly sweater look good!” She blew a kiss at her reflection before continuing to get ready. As she turned away from the mirror and headed out of the bathroom, she didn’t notice the other face still lurking in her mirror, the the woman from the flea market grinning wickedly.

3

“Walking in a winter wonderland...”

The holiday music filled the office space of Digital Dreams as Liz made her way into the party. She made sure to drop her Secret Santa gift at the bottom of the tree that sat on the table by the door. She smiled at the twinkling lights that covered the small, artificial evergreen. She had gotten Pam’s name and even though she had planned to give her the gift after the party, the change in plans meant that she could give it to her in front of everyone. After the present was in place, she made her way over to her friends. The group shared an enthusiastic greeting, complete with hugs. Even though they saw each other every day, there was something about meeting outside of work hours that made things different. Pam took a step back, looked at Liz, and chuckled.

“What is that?” Pam pointed at the gaudy tree on Liz’s sweater.

“Isn’t it hideous?”

Pam nodded as Liz began to laugh, and so did the rest of her friends. Across the party, Liz heard someone else laughing. Scott. He had a drink in his hand and was schmoozing it up with some of the members of upper management who rarely made their way to the office. Seeing him in all his arrogant, self-aggrandizing, smarminess irritated Liz like it never had before. She stared daggers at him and was so fixated on her anger that she didn’t hear Pam step up behind her.

“Ugh. He’s such a douchebag.” Hearing her friend’s voice snapped Liz out of her trance and back into reality. She silently nodded in agreement and sat there for a moment as she regained her composure. While she had always been annoyed by Scott, she couldn’t remember it feeling as intense as it had been a few moments ago. She shook her head and dismissed it. It was probably because she hadn’t wanted to come to the party because of him, and he was already making a spectacle of himself. Something told her it was going to be a long night, one that she would have to endure for at least a little bit before trying to leave.

She looked at Pam and excused herself before heading to the table where the booze and snacks were set up. As she poured herself a mixed drink, she could hear Scott’s obnoxious laugh behind her. She could feel her temper starting to flare up again and quickly downed her drink before making another. It was going to be a long night indeed.

4

It had been about an hour and a half since Liz arrived at the party, and she was already several drinks in. As the alcohol did its work, the cheerful tones of the Christmas music had become a muddled drone. Most of the ambient noise of the party followed suit, but not Scott’s laugh. Somehow its smug tone managed to ring out above everything else. She kept getting drinks, hoping that eventually, his laugh would join the rest of the hum of sounds from the party, but somehow, it never did. Though the mixed drinks weren’t drowning out the sound that annoyed her the most, they were affecting her in other ways. She felt like she was floating, and her stomach churned a bit as the drunkenness began to creep in.

In an attempt to slow the effects of the vodka in her system, Liz had found a seat at a table. As she took another sip of her drink, she made up her mind. She was going to stay long enough to see Pam get her present, and then she was going to call Brenda to come get her. Pam was sitting beside her and was chit-chatting with the rest of their mutual work friends, but Liz couldn’t make out most of the conversation. She heard Scott laugh again and glanced up in his direction. He was telling a story with slurred words, and everyone around him who was listening seemed to be very interested. One of the people listening to Scott turned and looked back at Liz.

The person looking at her wasn’t one of her coworkers though. It was the lady from the flea market. Startled, Liz shot up out of her seat and nearly spilled her drink. Pam stood up to check on her, but all Liz could think of was one thing: it was time to leave. While she started to text Brenda, she glanced back up in the direction of Scott and saw the face of the person who had turned around. It wasn’t the face of the lady from the flea market. Instead, it was her coworker, Katy, who she had known for years. That didn’t matter though. Her mind was made up. She looked back down at her phone and began to tap on letters when someone spoke up above the crowd. “Alright everyone, It’s time for Secret Santa!”

The noise in the room turned into an excited conversation as everyone made their way together. Liz kept texting but felt Pam grab her arm. Pam pulled her toward the crowd, but Liz didn’t look up from her phone.

“Come on, Liz, it’s time for Secret Santa.”

Liz felt the vodka start to churn heavily in her stomach as she was pulled across the room. She knew her friend meant well, but all Liz wanted to do was leave. She kept tapping out her text as Pam finally got her to the middle of the room. As the others started exchanging presents, Liz hit send on the message. Pam had left her side and was handing a present to Katy. Finally realizing what was going on, Liz started to stumble toward the table where she had sat Pam’s gift.

But before she could make it over there, someone stepped in her way: Scott. He had a box in his hand that was wrapped in colorful, festive paper. On top of the box was a tag with Liz’s name written on it and a card. Liz couldn’t believe it. Of all the people in the office who could have drawn her name, it had to be him. He smiled as he held the box out to her. Liz stuffed her phone back in her pocket and tried not to let her annoyance at the situation show as she took the box out of his hands. First, she opened the card. It was a typical Christmas card, with a cheerful cartoon Santa on the front. As she opened it up, she saw a handwritten message: “I want you to know that I see you shine.” His name was signed at the bottom. She was admittedly thrown off by the message, as he had never been one to compliment her on anything other than how good he thought she looked that day. She tucked the card under her arm and slowly tore the wrapping paper off the box. She looked up at Scott, who was smiling expectantly, before opening the box. Glitter erupted from the box right into Liz’s face. Scott started laughing as the glitter coated her and spilled onto the floor. Liz dropped the box and shrieked. Everyone at the party turned to see her, standing there covered in glitter, with Scott pointing and laughing. She could feel her anger boiling up again, and even with the multicolored glitter in her eyes, all she could see was red. She was so angry she couldn’t think straight, but she knew she had to get out of there. So, she ran away from Scott and the others and hid in the first place she found: Scott’s office.

The door slammed behind her, and she took a second to look around the room. All the awards scattered around the office told her immediately where she was. She looked down at her sweater. It was covered in a sparkling rainbow of glitter, just like the rest of her outfit. She couldn’t keep her anger contained anymore and it began to stream down her face as hot tears. As her emotions overcame her, she leaned into Scott’s desk and began to sob. It felt good to let everything come out, but she still knew she was going to have to go out there and face everyone in the office after being humiliated. She slammed her fists down into the desk as her sobbing grew more intense. As the tears continued to fall, she heard the door of the office open and shut behind her. She had hoped it would be Pam, or maybe even Katy coming to check on her. She tried to wipe the tears away from her eyes as she stood up and turned around. The person standing there was not who she expected, and definitely not who she wanted it to be.

“Hey look, I’m sorry.” Scott held his hands up to show that he meant no harm. “I just thought it would be funny.” Liz shot him a glare. “I can see that it wasn’t.”

“No, it wasn’t.”

Scott flinched a little at the sharpness of Liz’s tone. He took a step closer. “I know sometimes I can be a lot.”

“That’s putting it mildly.”

Scott winced before continuing. “I just wanted to come in here and apologize and see if there was any way I could make it up to you.”

Liz was genuinely caught off guard by what Scott was saying. In fact, she was so caught off guard that she didn’t notice how close he had gotten to her.

“Hey, we can still have a great night. What do you say?” He opened his arms and stepped forward for a hug.

As he leaned in, she could smell the whiskey on his breath. She stepped back to try and get away from him but realized he had her pinned against the desk.

“Come on now Liz. Don’t be like that. It’s Christmas time.” He put his arms around her and pulled her close. As she tried her best to squirm out of his grasp, he pressed his lips to hers and began probing around with his tongue. She felt a mix of repulsion and rage sweep over her as she kept trying to pull away. Her hands fumbled around on the desk behind her, knocking things around, desperately hoping to find something to defend herself with. Eventually, she felt something that she could get her hand around. She brought it up with as much force as she could and planted it into his shoulder. Scott looked genuinely surprised by the aggression, especially when he realized that what she had hit him with was a letter opener, and it was buried in his shoulder.

“What, the fu...” Before Scott could finish his sentence, Liz let out a shriek of fury. Seeing the blood pouring from the wound had ignited something in her, making her vision just as red as Scott’s shoulder was becoming. She pulled the letter opener out of Scott’s shoulder and began to stab it into other parts of his body. The metal point of the letter opener had become the instrument to release all the frustration she had pent up since she had first met Scott. Over and over, the thin piece of metal pierced into flesh, making more blood flow. She continued to stab wildly. The letter opener found Scott’s torso so many times that his midsection had become a dripping mess of perforated flesh and dark crimson.

“Please...”

All the stabbing and loss of blood had taken its toll on Scott and had rendered him helpless, weak, and pathetic. Liz could see the fear in his eyes, and she finally stopped stabbing him. With a moment’s reprieve from the violent attack, Scott collapsed to the floor of his office. He began to cough up blood, as Liz looked down at him with a sadistic smirk. Finally, she was the one with the power, and he was the insignificant one. Scott tried to call for help, but the blood rising up in his throat turned it into a wet gurgle. He looked up at her with fearful, pleading eyes. She didn’t notice though, because her eyes were busy scanning the room. Her fury had fully taken over and was guiding her. She walked over to a corner shelf and picked up one of the many awards Scott kept on display. Most of them were printed and framed, but the one she had selected was a heavy glass statue. She scoffed as she looked at it, and then headed over to Scott. She smirked as she straddled him. He weakly held up a hand to try and stop her.

“Come on now Scott. Don’t be like that. It’s Christmas time.” She brought the statue down into his face as hard as she could. Blood spurted as his nose broke. She brought it down again. More bone cracked and blood splashed. She brought the glass statue down onto Scott’s head over, and over again, rage guiding her hand. Soon, the cracking of bone was replaced with a horrible squelching noise. She kept smashing.

As she lifted it up to bring it down again, she caught a glimpse of something in the reflection of the glass. The face of the old lady from the flea market stared back at her. Liz stopped in stunned silence.

“Ugly.”

She heard the word in her head, but it was the voice of the old lady. The face disappeared from the glass, and then she could see her own face, covered in glitter, tears, and blood. The sight of herself brought her back into reality. She looked down at the mess of broken bone, brains, and gore that used to be Scott’s head and dropped the statue. She looked down looked down at herself. The once white sweater was stained with blood splatter and little bits of brain. She was filled with panic as the realization of what she had just done settled in.

“I didn’t even say it!” Tears began pouring down Liz’s face as she ran out of the office. The people who were still at the party met her with wide eyes and gasps as she ran through the crowd and out of the office. She burst out of the office and into the street, startling everyone around her. She couldn’t avoid the noise of everyone whispering about her, there was no way out of what she had done. Her entire life was over, all because of something she hadn’t even said. Panic and anxiety finally stopped her in her tracks. Looking around at all the people staring at her, she could feel the walls closing in around her. She couldn’t hold it in anymore and let out an anguished scream.

“Liz?”

She turned and saw Brenda getting out of her car and heading toward her. She started to run toward her friend, seeking a comfort she knew she wouldn’t find. Before she could reach her though, the sound of a horn honking made Liz turn her head. She froze dead and looked at the bus that was barreling toward her. Brenda screamed out for her friend to move, but Liz was petrified, staring motionless at the oncoming vehicle. While everyone on the street saw the bus slam into Liz, nobody else saw what Liz saw: the smiling face of the woman from the flea market.