Sachi
September 20, 1942
Sachi knew Sam had to be around somewhere. But where? There were only so many places to hide, but she’d already searched most of those. Behind the shower house? Under the school room stoop? Where was he?
She kicked up dust as she searched their favorite hiding spots, careful not to get too close to her own family’s apartment. After all, she didn’t want to get caught playing with Sam after Mama told her not to. It was the dumbest thing she’d ever heard. Can’t play with Sam because his father is a butcher? So silly. Sachi had decided to ignore it. And so far, she’d managed to keep their friendship as secret as her crush on Sam.
It was almost dinnertime. Maybe he was hiding at the cafeteria building. He liked to go there and sneak a piece of dessert when nobody was looking. She skipped over and searched the line that had begun to form outside. Not there, either.
Okay. Now hide-and-seek was getting boring, and the hot sun wasn’t helping any.
“Sam!” she yelled. “I give up. Come out, come out, wherever you are.” She looked around. No Sam, but she did see Nobu and Kazu walking toward her. This wasn’t good. If Sam came out, she’d be caught and Nobu would tell on her.
She skipped up to her brother, trying to look like she had not a care in the world. “What are you two doing?” she asked.
Nobu’s reply was clipped. “Just finished playing ball.”
Why was he in such a bad mood? Did he know she’d been playing with Sam? And Kazu. He was always joking around with her. Why was he so quiet now? “Hi, Kazu,” she said.
“Hi.”
Something was definitely up. She’d been caught. But how could Nobu know? Had he been watching them play hide-and-seek? She looked around again.
Whatever you do, Sam, don’t come out now.
She couldn’t stand the tension. “What’s wrong with you two sourpusses anyway?”
Nobu and Kazu looked at each other. Kazu spoke first. “You tell her. She’s your sister. I’m going home.” He shook his head as he walked away. “Home. Yeah, right.”
She watched Kazu mope. Anxiety pinched harder. She decided it must be something besides being caught with Sam. But not knowing was even worse. “What is it, Nobu?”
At just the wrong time, Sam came running around the corner of the barracks. “Here I am! I was hiding behind the big oak tree. I won—”
Sachi rolled her eyes and gasped, then shook her head at Sam.
Go away!
It was a useless attempt to chase him away. He wouldn’t know what her actions meant—she hadn’t had the heart to tell him she wasn’t allowed to play with him. How could she tell him her mother thought his family was eta?
Nobu placed his hand on her shoulder and scooted her along. “We need to go to dinner now.”
“Bye, Sachi,” Sam said, skipping toward his apartment. “See you tomorrow. Same time, same place.”
Sachi turned to wave, resisting her brother’s nudge. She gritted her teeth and swallowed hard to push back the lump in her throat. When her sadness was replaced by anger, she was grateful for it. “That was rude. What’s the big deal, anyway? And why are you and Kazu in such a bad mood?”
He stopped, grabbed Sachi’s chin and drew her to look into his eyes. “Didn’t Mama tell you not to play with Sam anymore?”
“Yes, but—”
“No ‘but’ Sachi! You must listen to Mama.” He walked away.
Who did he think he was, Papa? She ran to catch up. “Are you going to tell?”
“Not if you agree that you won’t see Sam again.”
He might as well have ripped her heart out. Her own brother. “Okay,” she replied. “Just don’t tell Mama.”
“Let’s go eat now,” he said.
Something else was bothering him, but she was too mad at her mean-old brother to care anymore. They walked in silence, until she realized they were going straight to the cafeteria. “Aren’t we going to get Mama first?”
“She’s not hungry. We’ll bring something back for her.”
Now she knew something was wrong. “Nobu! I’m tired of asking. I know something’s up. What is it?”
“We’re leaving in five days.”
“What?” There it was. That feeling. Like someone took a vacuum and started sucking her breath out of her. Memories whipped past. Spending time with Sam. Trying to teach him how to jump rope. Giggling when he dropped the piece of cake he’d tried to sneak out of the mess hall. Wondering what she liked better about Sam, his smile or his eyes. “Are we going home?”
“Home?” He snarled. “Yeah. Right. Heck, no. We’re being sent to Arkansas.”
“Arkansas? Isn’t Arkansas on the other side of the country? Why so far away?” The vacuum whined and drew faster, sucking up memories like they were pieces of dirt on the ground. She imagined the look in Sam’s eyes when she told him she was leaving.
Nobu shoved his hands into his pockets and walked faster. “How am I supposed to know? You think we’re allowed to ask questions around here or something?”
Sachi wasn’t hungry anymore either. “I’m going home,” she said, tired of trying to get her brother to talk. She ran, faster and faster, hoping if she ran fast enough, she could escape the tears that chased her.
She arrived at her front door and leaned over to catch her breath. There, pressed into the dusty earth were the flowers she’d planted. Wilted. Brown. She knelt to touch one of the blooms, once bright red but now the color of dried blood, and propped it against the wall. When she let go, the lifeless flower fell again.
Mama opened the door. “Sachi? Why aren’t you at dinner?”
“I wasn’t hungry.”
“Have you been crying?” Mama dabbed her cheeks.
Sachi turned away and wiped her tears with dirty hands. “No.”
“I think you have. Did Nobu tell you?”
“Yes, Mama. I can’t believe it’s already time to leave. I was just making friends—” Her voice quivered and she wrapped her arms around her mother. Finally, she gave up fighting back tears.
“There’s Nobu,” Mama said.
He ambled toward them, hands still in his pockets.
“You aren’t going to dinner either?” Mama asked.
“Nope. Lost my appetite.” He took his thumb and rubbed a dirt smudge from Sachi’s cheek. “Guess you told Mama you’ve been playing with Sam?”
Sachi’s eyes widened. How could he just blurt it out like that? Brothers could be so stupid sometimes. She wanted to hit him.
Mama glared at her.
Cringing, Sachi backed away.
For what seemed like a very long time, nobody spoke. Then, Mama crossed her arms and said, “No, Sachiko didn’t say anything about playing with Sam. She told me she was crying about leaving this place.”
Nobu wiped a bead of sweat that trickled near his eyes. “Oh,” he said, shrugging at Sachi.
Mama opened the door and waited. “Let’s go inside.”
Sachi and Nobu faced each other, their eyes communicating what they couldn’t say out loud in front of Mama.
How could you, Nobu?
Sorry! I thought you told her already.
“Children. Inside.”
Nobu went in first. Sachi followed. She couldn’t resist the urge to punch him. “I owe you,” she whispered through gritted teeth.
The front door had hardly closed before Mama began to scold. “Nobu, go to your room. Sachi, you sit down here.” She pointed to the bed.
She did not want to hear this again. She watched Mama pace back and forth and pretended to listen to her rant. Her voice got higher with every word she spoke and her arms flailed about like birds in a hurricane, pointing in the direction of where Sam lived. At Sachi. At herself.
“I told you … butcher … eta … never listen.” Mama’s eyes squinted and the skin on her face reddened.
Then, at last, silence. It was over.
Mama turned away. Her shoulders rose with a deep breath. “What would Papa think of you now?”
Those words, Sachi could not ignore.