Sachi
April 20, 1943
A big, black hole. That’s what life felt like with Nobu gone. It was almost as bad as when Papa died. Sachi never thought much about having her brother around. He was just there. Though there were days she might not see him from the time she got up in the morning until time for her to go to bed at night, she knew he was there.
Now he was gone. Not there for her to talk to anymore. Not there to bother. Not there to spy on. All she had to look forward to were his letters, and they didn’t come very often. Even when they did, someone had blacked out so much of what he wrote and it was hard to figure out what he was trying to tell them. Why would they do that? Mama called it censoring and said it was the government trying to keep things a secret.
Who were these people who decided what should be kept secret between a brother and sister?
Huddled in the corner of her bed, she examined the little curtained room that used to be Nobu’s. She’d added some of her own touches. Two dolls sat on the nightstand—the one Mama and Papa had given her for Christmas and the one Kate had given her when they left California. A picture she’d drawn of her house in Berkeley hung over her bed. Now the room was hers.
With her own room, she didn’t have to sleep with Mama anymore. And it didn’t come a minute too soon, because Mama was even grouchier now. She didn’t know why, but her mother had always had more patience with Nobu. She never realized before that he’d been like a buffer. Whenever he was around, Mama was on her best behavior. Now, with him gone, Mama had no reason to put on a happy face. Instead, her face always looked like she was sucking on a lemon.
So Sachi spent as much time as possible away from the barracks. Mama didn’t even ask where she’d been anymore. That was good, she supposed. At least now she didn’t have to make up lies to hide being with Jubie. But sometimes she felt lonely and missed how her family had once been.
She opened her nightstand drawer and took out a notebook. Maybe writing to Nobu would make her miss him less.
April 20, 1943
Dear Nobu,
How are things at Tule Lake? I guess by now, you have settled in to your new apartment. I’ve been adding my own touches to your old room—
She ripped the page out, wadded it up, and threw it on the floor. That wasn’t what she wanted to say at all. She already knew he’d settled in, as best as he could, anyway. And she knew he wasn’t happy at Tule Lake. She could tell that from his letter, even with the blacked-out parts. What she really wanted to tell him was how much she missed him, about how miserable it was to be alone with Mama. She wanted to tell him about Yuki and Private Collins, about how they still talked to each other all the time, though they tried to keep it a secret. She often wondered if they might even get married someday, with that lovey-dovey look in their eyes when they stared at each other. But she couldn’t say any of that to Nobu, didn’t want to make him sadder.
So what was she supposed to write? Something—anything—but a silly letter that pretended everything was okay. Maybe she’d write about Jubie.
April 20, 1943
Dear Nobu,
Yesterday Jubie and I played by the creek. It was still very cold, but we decided we were ready for springtime, even if springtime wasn’t ready for us. We started building a dam and thought maybe we could make a little swimming hole for when the weather gets hot and sticky like it did last summer. When we moved one big rock, a couple of weird-looking lobster-like creatures skittered away. Jubie called them crawdads. She said you could eat them, and that she’d ask her Auntie Bess to cook up a pot. But first, she said we’d have to catch enough of them. I don’t know. They looked a little creepy. How am I supposed to help catch them if I don’t want to touch them? And eating them? Yuck.
People around here eat some strange foods, Nobu. Of course, Jubie probably thinks what we eat is strange, too.
I told her once that sometimes we eat our rice with seaweed wrapped around it. She crinkled her nose and asked what seaweed was. I had to remind myself that she’s never even seen the ocean, so she’s probably never heard of seaweed. When I explained that it was like thick, long blades of grass that grow in the ocean, she crinkled her nose even more, then stuck out her tongue! That’s okay, because that’s how I felt about eating crawdads.
Anyway, we got a good start building the dam before our hands started to freeze. At least we blocked the water enough so that it began filling up our future swimming hole. Maybe you’ll be back by summer and you can come swimming with us.
In case you’re worried about Mama finding out that I’m still hanging around with Jubie, don’t be. She doesn’t even ask where I’ve been anymore.
Sachi put her pen down and shook out her hand. It was always hard to decide how to close her letters to Nobu. She wanted to tell him about the black hole and about how much she missed him. But she didn’t want to make him homesick. On the other hand, she didn’t want him to think she didn’t miss him either. Sometimes, she missed him so much it hurt. But as he boarded the train for California, he hugged her and told her to be a “big girl.” He was only trying to make her feel better, but she’d felt a little insulted when he said that. After all, she was almost eleven now, hardly a little girl.
That settled it. She’d be the “big girl” he told her to be and wouldn’t let Nobu know how much she missed him. Not quite, anyway.
Mama and I miss you, but we’re doing fine. It’s always nice to get your letters, Nobu. So please write us as soon as you can.
Love from your sister,
Sachi
She folded the letter and stuffed it in an envelope. There was a certain excitement she felt when mailing a letter to her brother. As she walked out the door to mail it, she began to calculate in her mind. It would take about a week to get to Nobu. And she’d give him a week to write back, though she wished he’d write sooner. Another week for his letter to reach her at Rohwer. Three weeks.
That was forever.