OF ALL the insensitive, idiotic things Reese could have said in that moment.
Yes, he had asked Jude to leave, but only so he could be with his grandfather and care for him. Jude hadn’t put up a fuss. Surely he had a place to stay, didn’t he?
But then he’d stumbled over his words in front of his nurse friend. Shit. What if he didn’t have a place to stay? What if he was out there…?
He’d find out that night, for sure. When Jude came back, he’d make him talk—about a lot of things.
Kyla was just about done with Grandpa’s check-in when Reese returned, and she offered to sit with him if Reese had anything he needed to do.
“Actually if you wouldn’t mind, I’m going to be out in the garage for a bit? I just need to pull down some boxes. Me and the old man got some music to make, ain’t that right?”
Grandpa just grunted. “Been waiting on you. Nothing to do but fiddle with my balls while you’re out prancing around on stage.”
Kyla laughed and turned to Reese. “We’ll be fine. You do what you need to do. I can stay until four.”
That gave Reese a couple of hours to get the boxes down and organize the sheet music. When they moved to the cottage from the larger house his grandparents had owned, the movers did a shitty job. And Grandpa had never organized his writing. No more. Reese knew the music his grandfather had written over the years was pure genius.
He was inspired by Grandpa’s song about meeting a girl on a street corner on a summer’s day—the story of how he met Grandma. Reese imagined a whole musical around their meeting. When he brought up the idea to Grandpa, he was skeptical at first. It wasn’t until Reese’s first musical, Ruby in Red Plaid, about a young man’s sexual liberation in the 1990s, became a huge sensation on Broadway that Grandpa began to see the possibilities. Reese just hoped he hadn’t waited too long to get started.
JUDE PULLED into the parking lot of Santa Francesca Catholic High School and took a deep breath. Color guard had been his life when he was a teenager, and he’d been choreographing for their team for the past two years. His old coach was getting close to retirement, and the thought was that Jude would take over in a few years. It was a great way for him to stay connected to his brother and sister, and it was a way for him to keep dancing. Before he started working for Mr. Matheson, he took dance classes a couple of nights a week at the community college. Now he just worked at the school and took his nursing course. It was enough.
“Mr. D! Mr. D!” Some of the girls bounded over to his car as he climbed out. It was always a struggle to keep boundaries with the kids. Some of the girls could get downright handsy, and not with just jazz hands. Jude tried to put off a no-nonsense vibe, but it didn’t seem to matter.
“Are we really going to be competing at state this year?” He pushed these kids hard because he had an especially talented group.
“If you continue to progress, we’ll have no problem qualifying at regionals. But we need everyone to work hard. To want it.”
They giggled and ran off to join the group. As soon as the rest of the kids saw him coming down to the field, they immediately followed their captains in their stretching routines and then ran through their program in its entirety. They tossed their flags and rifles in absolute symmetry. Jude expected perfection from the kids, and they gave him their all.
Practice lasted over two hours, and the kids were spent when they finished. The sky had been dark for an hour, and he knew it was time to let them go, but he’d wanted to work with them just once more on a particularly difficult combination. He pulled his brother and sister aside.
“You haven’t been answering my texts, JJ,” Brianna said with her hands on her hips, just like their mother.
“I know, sis. I’ve been out trying to find a job. I’m going to be back helping Mr. Matheson some—”
“After his grandson fired you? Why would you go back?” Bailey asked sullenly.
“Because I care about him. And because I want to make sure he’s cared for in the best way possible.”
“What about us? Do you even care about us anymore?” Bailey stormed off toward Tito Rommel’s car as it pulled up. Tito Rommel waved at Jude, who waved back. Then he turned to Brianna.
“Don’t worry about him,” she said quietly. “He’s just angry because Junior ripped up his AP Bio notebook. He’ll be okay. But we do miss you. It’s not the same when we don’t get to see you regularly. Even if it’s just at practice, you know?”
Jude hugged his sister and breathed deeply to alleviate the heavy weight of guilt that threatened to crush him.
“I’ll hopefully have the money soon to move out. I love you guys so much. I hate not being able to have you with me, but I’ve been doing what I had to—”
“We know that. Bailey just forgets sometimes. Things were fine until Junior moved to our room. We’ll be okay.” She cocked an eyebrow at him. “Where have you been staying? I heard Tita Gemma saying you were staying with Tita Germaine, but I know you told me you couldn’t stay there.”
His little sister was getting to be too smart for her own good. “With friends, Bri. I’m fine, but I need to go. I love you, and I’ll be over as soon as I can.”
She hugged him tight, gave an extra squeeze at the end, and then waved as she ran off to the car.
Jude waited until each and every one of the forty-six kids was picked up, and then he climbed wearily into his car and started the engine.
When he pulled up at the cottage, he could hear the piano and Reese’s singing. His heart stuttered. He had such a beautiful voice. Jude first heard Reese’s music when he was in high school. He and his friends danced along during warm-ups at color guard practice. He’d bought Reese’s CD and everything. It was probably still in his case under the front seat of his car.
But this music wasn’t like his pop hits. His versatile voice crooned just like Michael Buble, or the original even—Frank Sinatra. Mr. Matheson had a great voice too, but Reese’s was sort of magical. At least it had a magical effect on Jude.
He entered the house and immediately went to the kitchen to clean up the mess Reese was sure to have made. But he found none. He checked the laundry only to find that Reese had folded everything—sloppily but folded, nonetheless—in baskets next to the washer. He had nothing to keep himself busy with.
Jude went into the living room and watched Reese and his grandfather until they stopped playing.
“Jude, my boy. What do you think? Sounds pretty good coming out of this guy, huh?”
Jude could just nod. The music was great.
“Yeah, once Toby gets back and starts helping me piece the story together, we’ll be golden. Grandpa, you remember Toby, right? My writing partner?”
“Oh you mean the fairy? Yeah. I remember him. Boy can sure sing.”
Reese frowned. “Grandpa, he’s not a fairy. He’s gay. Say it with me. Gaaaaaaay. It’s not a bad word, I promise.”
Mr. Matheson snorted. “Whatever you call it. It don’t matter to me as long as he doesn’t try to kiss me again. Yuck.”
Reese laughed. “Oh come on. It was on the cheek. Just for that,” Reese said. He lurched for his grandfather and gave him a juicy smack of his lips on the top of his head. They both laughed as his grandfather put him in a headlock, but Reese went willingly.
Jude was puzzled by the interaction. Reese was certainly not afraid to challenge his grandfather, but he didn’t exactly confront him either. It seemed Reese got through much of his life by joking.
Jude helped Mr. Matheson to bed at nine and loved that he seemed so happy. Reese was really good medicine for him. He was just intoxicating all around. Once Mr. Matheson was comfortable in bed he went straight to sleep, a testament to how much he needed the rest. Jude went back out to the living room and said good night to Reese.
“You’ll be back in the morning, right?” Reese asked from the piano bench where he was still playing around with the music. Jude loved watching his long fingers dance over the keys, but he’d pulled his hair back into that ridiculous man bun again—ridiculous because Jude had to pinch himself to keep from staring at Reese’s neck. “I was going to go surfing early, if that’s okay? You’ll be here?”
Jude realized Reese had spoken only when he turned away from the piano. A piece of curly hair hung down his forehead.
“Yes.” But what was he saying yes to? He was fatigued and overwhelmed, and he needed to get out of the cottage. Fresh air would be a good idea—alone.
“Great. Thank you, Jude. Thank you for coming back.”
Jude nodded, grabbed his backpack, and beat feet out the front door. He got to his car and could do nothing more than sit in the back seat and stare at the headrest in front of him.
He mulled over his options—the ones he was running out of. He’d been so exhausted that he actually dropped Mr. Matheson’s dishes. He couldn’t afford to make that kind of mistake again. Reese had seen his exhaustion as well.
It wouldn’t do for him to continue sleeping in his car, but what could he do? Tita Germaine had her hands full. Tito Rommel and Tita Gemma were already supporting his younger siblings as well as their lola. His cousins all had roommates. At least if he were closer to the Matheson house, he could be there bright and early. That way he wouldn’t be found out by his family.
He parked under a tree two houses down from the cottage, thinking it would keep the streetlights from shining down on him. He used a bottle of water to wash up and brush his teeth and then crawled into the cargo area of the Pathfinder. His back was bothering him from not being able to stretch out, and that morning he’d had a horrible crick in his neck that took most of the day to work itself out.
Jude lay there for at least an hour as he ran through his situation and his finances until he wanted to tear his hair out. His only solution would be to find a full-time position working a graveyard shift. That would allow him to work mornings for Reese, steal a couple of hours of sleep in a room he’d rent somewhere, and then be up in time for color guard and class. It wasn’t ideal, but at least he could shower and have a place for his meager belongings until he could afford to get a real place for him, Bailey, and Brianna. He rolled over and attempted some breathing exercises to relax his body. Then he remembered Reese’s parting words from that morning. “God help me, but I want you.”
If only it were possible. Well, sure, it was possible. Jude could allow Reese to seduce him. He’d love every minute of it. One night exploring every inch of Reese’s golden skin, losing himself in Reese’s touch? Heaven. A beautiful distraction. But then what? Reese would go about his life with someone else, and Jude would be left feeling bereft. And he knew Mr. Matheson had no tolerance when it came to Jude’s sexual orientation. He’d heard the man make many hateful comments over the years, but he loved him anyway. Jude kept to himself and they got along famously.
Jude had come out to his tita Germaine and his mother. They’d both been very understanding, but they cautioned him about reactions from his father and uncle, who held very strict Catholic beliefs. Jude had resigned himself to being alone other than the occasional hookup. What would be wrong if that hookup happened to be with Reese?
So many things—Reese’s public persona, Mr. Matheson’s beliefs, oh, and the fact that Jude didn’t have casual feelings for Reese. At all.
Jude rolled over once more, yanked his blanket over him, and allowed himself to picture Reese’s handsome face. Just once more.