REESE MADE it back to the hospital just as the physical therapist was leaving and the nurse was taking the old man’s order for dinner. The physical therapist assured Reese that Grandpa had been up and to the restroom and was working really well with the walker. He had an impressive amount of upper-body strength considering his age and physical shape.
“And none of them Brussels sprouts, ya hear me?” Reese heard Grandpa shout. “You people tried serving me that when I was here before. They look like Martian balls.”
“Jesus, Grandpa. I leave you alone for a couple hours….”
The nurse smiled and excused herself. Grandpa grinned at Reese, but he seemed off. “Can I help you?”
Reese swallowed hard and put on a brave face.
“Hey Grandpa, it’s me. Reese. I brought you noodles from Jude just like you asked for.” Reese endured his worst nightmare as he waited for his grandfather to respond.
“I know it’s you, son. Come here.”
Reese bent down to hug him and spent an extra few beats holding on and praying his thanks. Crisis averted.
“Jude made me soup? Where is he?”
Reese took a seat in the chair. “He’s taking his little brother home. Then he’ll be over. He sends his best.”
“His brother is a dancer like him. He told me all about him. Sister, too. Showed me one of them tapes of their performance. They throw them plastic rifles and ribbons around. Kinda pretty, if you ask me.”
Reese smiled but he wondered how Grandpa could remember all that about kids he didn’t even know, but he couldn’t remember the man he’d helped raise. He understood that was sometimes how the disease worked, but it didn’t make him feel any better.
“His brother is a great kid. He brought him over today. Seems he’s been having a rough time.”
“Oh yeah? Jude never talks much about the rest of the family. I know they’re Catholic, though. Must be hard.”
Reese frowned. “What must be hard?”
“You know, him being gay and all.” He gazed off toward the window. “Junior, I ever tell you about Las Vegas?”
Reese tried to breathe evenly and not react to the fact that now Grandpa thought he was his father.
“You told me about some, yeah.”
“There was this one time me and the guys was coming out of the club after practicing all afternoon, and it was just getting to be dusk. It was fall, so it wasn’t too hot.”
“Sure, and you saw Grandma—”
“Grandma? Naw. This was before I ever met your mother. It was dusk, and I was just gonna have a smoke when I saw this gorgeous red hair.”
Reese smiled. He loved the story about him meeting… wait… he said that was before Grandma? Reese decided to let the old man talk and didn’t correct him.
“Anyway, this kid comes over, and I can’t stop looking at his hair. I was dumbfounded. I had to talk to him. He couldn’t get his cigarette lit, so I took a chance and offered him a light, asked him for coffee, and next thing you know, it’s late and we’re back in my room. The lights are out. That hair was so beautiful. He was beautiful. I never seen anything like him. We spent that one night together, and that was it. He was gone the next morning, and I never saw him again.”
Reese’s heart was pounding. Could that story be a real memory? Maybe he was confused. Maybe it was—
“I never told anyone before,” he continued, looking up at the ceiling. “I kept it a secret even from my wife. I never told anyone, but I want you to know, Junior. I see your boy, and I just know he’s gonna be like that one day. He’s just like me. Anyway, then I met your mother, and she had that red hair, and I knew it was meant to be. I loved her so much.”
He fell quiet then and stared out the window while the ground shifted under Reese.
Jesus! That was huge. That story changed everything. And what did he mean, he saw it in Reese? Reese had never been….
But he had. He’d loved singing from the moment he learned to make sounds, and his mother told him he sang before he could talk, and all the time. But he’d never really thought there was anything different about him until high school. He thought it was normal to want the boys and girls to like like him.
“Reese, my boy. I thought I told you to bring me some of them noodles.”
Reese snapped back to reality with a jolt.
“Oh, right. Here.” He took the container out of the bag and with shaky hands arranged everything on the tray. As Grandpa got to work, Reese plopped back in the chair. He wasn’t sure how long he sat there before Jude came in. He shot Reese an apologetic look and smiled at Grandpa.
“Mr. Matheson, how are you feeling today?”
Reese noted that Jude wasn’t wearing scrubs. In fact he hadn’t worn them for some time. He was wearing a fitted black T-shirt and a pair of gray Levi’s. Reese enjoyed seeing him in regular clothes. He felt exponentially better because Jude was there.
“Thank you for this soup, my boy. They was trying to kill me with this hospital crap. Hey, have you met my grandson, Reese?”
Reese fought to keep a smile on his face. “Yeah, old man. Jude and I know each other.”
Jude shot him an apologetic look and then wandered over to look at his chart. He read through it and then asked if Grandpa was in any pain.
“No way. They must have me on the good stuff. I can’t feel anything.” He pushed his tray aside, and his eyes drifted shut as he pulled his blanket up to his chin. “Hey Reese? Sing to me, why don’t you? I’d like to hear you sing.”
Reese laughed. “What do you want?”
Grandpa settled back into the bed and shook his head. “Anything.”
Reese glanced at Jude and launched into “Night and Day.” Grandpa smiled and held up one hand to “conduct.” His eyes fluttered shut again after a bit, and he fell asleep.
Jude sat on the edge of the bed and smiled as Reese finished the song. He clapped and reached forward to take Reese’s hands.
“You know it’s because of the pain meds, right? He’s just foggy right now. He’ll be back to normal when he’s off of them.”
Reese felt a tear slide down his cheek, and he realized he didn’t even have the energy to wipe it away.
“He’s the only person left in this world who knows me, knows my history. Some people know bits and pieces, right? They’ve shared part of my life with me. But he’s the only one who’s been there since the beginning. I know it sounds petty to think of it this way, but when he’s gone, or he doesn’t remember me anymore, it’s almost like my history is gone. Like I won’t exist.”
JUDE COULDN’T bear to see Reese in so much pain. He walked over to his chair and wrapped Reese in his arms to allow him a small moment of peace. Reese clung to him weakly, as though the events of the past two days had drained him of strength. Jude vowed to take care of him tonight—to be sure he got rest and a good meal.
“How did it go with your uncle?” Reese asked him when he pulled back and looked up at him.
Jude ran his fingers through Reese’s hair and shrugged.
“I just told him Bailey wasn’t feeling well and that I picked him up from school. I need to talk to our parents before I speak to Tito Rommel. It’s very unusual for Filipino children to leave home unless they’re married, despite their financial situation. The only reason I didn’t get more flack for leaving was because I was coming to live with Mr. Matheson. They still fought me about it and said I belonged at home. I had to tell them the only way I could have the job was if I lived there.”
Reese ran his thumbs along Jude’s lower back. Jude loved how affectionate Reese was, but it was strange for him. He was frightened someone would catch them, but didn’t totally care. So what? They were in California, right? It was 2016.
But it was different for Reese. He could be with whomever he wanted, and no one would question him. Jude lived under a different set of rules, and not just because he was a semicloseted gay man. As a person of color, he had more to worry about.
“So your parents and your uncle may not allow Bailey to leave with you, is that right?”
Jude nodded. “I don’t know what’s the right move here. I love him, and I want him to be happy, but I don’t want to take him away from our family either. And I don’t want him to think he’s coming to live in some party, you know? I won’t be able to watch him closely because I’ll be working and going to school.”
Reese nodded. “And I don’t want to pressure you because I know you have enough of that, but if you both move in with me, I’ll be there to help out with him too. I like the kid. I never had a brother. It would be kind of fun for me, you know? And Grandpa would love to have someone else to mess with. Oh… but the ball jokes. I don’t know. Maybe you’re right.”
Jude snorted and bent down to kiss Reese’s forehead. Reese closed his eyes, tilted his head back, and presented his lips for Jude’s taking. And who was Jude to deny him a kiss?
It was so easy, being intimate with Reese because he was loving and open about his feelings. Jude realized how much he had come to crave his touch, his kisses. It felt like the most natural thing to do, to kiss Reese. But it was one thing for him to live with Reese. His family would flip out if he brought Bailey over there to live with nonfamily, not to mention the fact that Reese wasn’t just his employer, but was, for all intents and purposes, his lover.
His lover. He wanted that so much, to be lovers. He wanted to share every part of himself with Reese, but how did he get past all of their obstacles?
None of it mattered when they kissed.
“Excuse me,” a woman called from the door. Jude pulled away from Reese, his eyes wide. Camilla, the social worker, entered the room with a big smile.
“It’s nice to see you two. How is Mr. Matheson?”
Reese reached for Jude, but he pulled back to stand behind Reese’s chair. “Umm… he’s okay. He says he’s not in any pain.”
She smiled and touched Reese on the shoulder on her way to stand next to Mr. Matheson. “I wanted to talk to him a bit more about the rehab facility. He doesn’t seem very comfortable about going.”
Reese shifted in the chair to lean forward. “I think he’s afraid he won’t come home if he goes. He knows I want him at home, but he’s afraid he won’t be well enough to return.”
She nodded and touched Mr. Matheson’s hand. “It is very frightening to be in the hospital. The fact that you’re here visiting will give him hope. I see so many older men come in alone, and no one is here to see them. It’s easy to lose hope when you’re alone.”
Jude placed a hand on Reese’s shoulder and gave him a reassuring squeeze while Camilla talked to them about the place he would go next and how long they might expect him to be there.
“I’m guessing six weeks, he’ll be there. He’s very lucky this break was so slight. If they had to do surgery, that would have really laid him up. He’ll be good as new in six weeks.”
Reese slumped a bit. “Six weeks? Can’t he heal at home? What if we got him a hospital bed set up in the living room? Jude? Can we do that?”
Jude wanted to do just that, but they’d have to have a physical therapist come to the house, a daily nurse….
Camilla smiled at Reese. “Such a good man. Let’s see how he does. We can talk to the doctor.”
Reese thanked her, and she took one more glance at Mr. Matheson and then said her goodbyes.
Jude turned to Reese. “I would do anything for you, you know that? But we also want to be sure he’s getting the best care. See what the doctors think. I’ll support you however I can.” Jude looked down at his watch and frowned. “Hey, I need to run out for a bit. I have rehearsal for the kids and then class. My final is on Tuesday, and I think I’m going to drop my class for next term. You need me with you. It’s just a few extra months. I—”
“I don’t want to ask that of you, Jude. I appreciate it, though. I do. Hey, if you can give me these next few months, I’ll pay for you to go to school full-time until you finish. Okay? I swear. Consider it part of your benefits. You’ve sacrificed enough for the old man. He’d want that too.”
Jude bit down on his lip. With two or three full-time semesters, he could probably finish, and he’d be licensed. Then he could focus more on work, on his siblings—and dare he think?—have a future with Reese.
“That would mean a lot to me, Reese. Thank you. It feels very weird, though. I don’t like taking from you. I feel like we’re blurring some lines here.”
Reese shrugged and stood up. He stretched his arms out wide, and his back cracked. “It’s no different than any other employer offering it as an incentive. But I get it. What if you weren’t my employee? Consider yourself working just for the old man?” Reese closed the distance between them and wrapped Jude in his arms. “Consider yourself my partner, my boyfriend, not my employee, Jude.”
Reese’s eyes were full of hope. Jude tried not to panic. He pushed up on his toes to kiss Reese gently on the lips. “I’ll see you when I get back tonight.”
And then he ran.