Our son came into our lives through adoption. Mi Esposa (my wife) could not have children. So through a friend of my wife’s, we considered adoption. She was a social worker and had knowledge on the matter. One night, over dinner at our house, Bernice talked with us about adoption. Our eyes and hearts opened at the thought of that being a possibility.
Her name was Bernice Sanchez. She was a medium-build, sure-of-herself African-American woman from Monks Corner, South Carolina. She was bold when she needed to be, and gentle to those she deemed “true friends.” She was a Southern Geechee, descended from the Gullah a culture of the Sea Islands of Georgia. I never understood Geechee. I would fuss at Bernice when she visited our home not to “Geech” me, per se. She would just laugh. She and Luisa were “Southern buds” and there was no coming between them. My only weapon against her was to talk Ladino and tease her about marrying a Puerto Rican man who was ex-military. She would tell me that she was only a “Sanchez” by marriage. Poor Emilio Sanchez, he had married such a strong-willed Geechee woman.
Geechee woman aside, Bernice now was gentle-hearted. This was her territory—social worker extraordinaire! As we discussed the options of adoption, my wife reached over and grabbed my hand. It was cool, although the ocean breeze of Charleston had not cooled things down yet in early May. The pollen was almost over, but I still had to blow my nose often. A runny nose around Bernice was like being on trial. She demanded full attention. Her last scowl left me perplexed and my wife just blurted out to her, “Bernice, leave him alone. He really is trying to listen.”
Bernice winked at her in response and then I knew I had been played.
“I have a two-week old baby boy,” Bernice told us. “His mother had him out of wedlock and neither she nor her family can take care of him. But there is one thing. He’s African-American.”
Immediately I told her, “We’ll take him!!”
My wife burst into tears of joy. But Bernice interrupted. “You have to see him first, then we can talk about his mother and father.”
Luisa asked, “How does tomorrow sound?”
Her response was quick. “It’s the Sabbath and you know how your husband is about Saturday.”
“Bernice, if it’s about family. The Lord God will more than understand,” I retorted.
“Wow. That’s a change, Mr. Attorney.” Bernice then turned to Luisa. “You know, Luisa, I like your husband, but there are some things about him that I just can’t figure out.”
“Bernice, that’s why I love him through and through. He touches me with God every day. I truly am blessed.”
“Boss man, I need you to pray for Emilio then,” Bernice informed me.
True to our relationship, I teased her in response. “Bernice, you married him and now he’s your responsibility. But, yes, I will pray for him.” She stuck her tongue out at me as I said this.
“I knew you’d stick your tongue out at me.”
“You two are like flies on a stick! You hear and watch everything!”
“Flies on a stick? Where in the world did you get that?” asked Luisa.
“When you are around strong-willed women, you never know what is going to come out of their mouths.”
“That is true,” agreed Bernice.
Luisa interrupted our teasing. “All right, you two, play time is over.”
“How does three o’clock sound to go look at the baby?” Social Worker Bernice was back now.
“Sounds good to us,” we both agreed.
“Okay, I will come and get Y’all then.” Then Bernice looked over at me and said, “Remember, I’m watching you!”
“Bernice, you’re just a fly on a stick that happens to be stuck there for a time.”
She turned to Luisa in response. “You got him!”
Luisa just laughed and said, “I sure do!”
We said our good-byes to Bernice and turned toward each other. “You know, you really like to rattle Bernice’s chain.”
“It’s the Ladino in me. If you come in peace, I will give you peace. If you come at me, I’ll let you know—quit laughing!”
“You’re too much! But that’s one of the reasons that I love you so!” said Luisa.
“God has been so gracious to us today, to possibly have a child of our own… I’m so overwhelmed. To be a father finally and have a great wife as a mother. You overwhelm me, God!” I replied.
“Yes, He is good! I am beside myself!” Luisa agreed.
“Look at you, my dear. You are blushing,” I told her.
“Blushing from what you call Alegria (joy).”
“Now you’re speaking my language!”
She looked at me and smiled and laughed. “After hearing you talk all of these years, I have picked up a few words.”
“You never told me! Que Mujer! (What a woman!)”
The next day, we awoke with a spirit of excitement in the air. We worked together around the house until lunchtime.
“We have a few hours before we are supposed to leave. Would you like me to fix some lunch?” Luisa stopped her cleaning to ask me.
“No, thanks. I think I am going for a walk to digest all of this.”
“Okay, some sweet talking with God! Yes, okay, I understand.”
Walking out of the house, I realize that I had never been happier. “I have a lovely wife, crazy friend, and you, God! The possibility of becoming a father overwhelms me! There are so many ‘how’s’ going through my head right now. The excitement is just too much! I just want to thank you, God! Thank you, thank you, thank you!” I soon realized that I needed to get back home. I did not want to leave Luisa any longer.
As I walked back in the house, I look around for my wife. “Luisa, I’m back! Oh, there you are!
“Mi Amor (My love).” Luisa asked, “How was your talk with God?”
“Wouldn’t you like to know?”
She countered back at me with a wink. “I can only imagine what it was like! I can only imagine…” she trailed off.
“See, that’s another reason that I love you, dear. You can imagine.”
“Jose, I think I’m going to lie down for a bit. But please, don’t let me sleep too long, okay?”
“I won’t. Do you think that we can leave around two o’clock?”
“Yes, that sounds like a plan to me.”
“You go rest, Luisa. I will call Bernice to work out the details on where we are going to meet her.”
“Please, dear, don’t get into it with her,” Luisa begged as she went toward the bedroom.
“It can’t be helped! You laugh, but now you’re the fly on the stick! Now, please go rest, dear!”
“Okay,” Luisa replied as she went into the bedroom.
I walked back into the kitchen and picked up the phone to call Bernice. “Bernice, this is your best friend’s husband. How are you today?”
“You know, it never ceases to amaze me why I put up with you!” She answered my question in her own way.
“Because you love me.” I laughed inwardly as I said this.
“Let’s not go that far!”
“I told Luisa that I would call you while she was resting. Where would you like to meet this afternoon?”
“Is she okay?” I could hear the concern in her voice.
“Oh yeah. She’s fine. She’s just been a little tired lately.”
“Okay, good that she is fine.” Her voice now sounded relieved. “The baby boy is at a foster care home for newborn babies. We don’t give out the addresses for their protection. Can you meet me at the park in front of the Francis Marion hotel around 2:45? We can go to the home from there. Oh, and don’t be late!”
“Please tell Emilio that I empathize with him!”
“You better quit while you are ahead,” she warned me with a smile in her voice.
“Bernice…”
“Yes?”
“Thank you!”
“See you at 2:45. And, Jose, thank you.”
Half an hour later, I went to the bedroom to wake Luisa. She looked so refreshed! Little did I know that this was the first warning signs that something was not right inside of her body.
“Mi Cariño (my love), did you rest well?”
“Yes, dear. I did. Did you call Bernice?”
“Yes, we talked.”
“Did you two get into it?” Luisa was always concerned about Bernice and me getting along.
“You know it’s inevitable.”
“You’re impossible!” she said with a half smirk, half smile.
“But you still love me!” I replied back. “Do you think Bernice likes me?”
“No,” Luisa said simply.
“Why not?”
“Because you stand up to her. She is not used to men getting in her face,” Luisa explained.
“But she seems to take it in stride. Do you think that I should be nicer to her?” I really wanted to get along with my wife’s best friend. I was willing to back off if I need to.
“You two just continue to be yourselves. I’m happy with that if you are.” Luisa glanced at the clock and realized what time it was. “I’m going to freshen up. Are you going to change?”
“Yes, I want to impress Bernice and our future son,” I said half joking, half serious.
“You are too much!”
“Anything for you, Cariño, my dear. By the way, Bernice mentioned for us not to be late when we meet her at the park in front of the Francis Marion.”
“Did she say what side of the park?” Luisa asked me.
“Of course not!” I realized as I said this that I had forgotten to ask an obvious question.
Several minutes later, Luisa came into the bathroom to check on me. “Are you ready to go?”
“Not yet. I am finishing up shaving”
“Estos Hombres! (these men!) You’re worse than women!”
“But that’s why you women love us men. We primp, but you ladies pamper,” I retorted playfully.
“You’re impossible! I really don’t want to be late.” Luisa tapped her watch and foot at the same time with playful impatience.
“We won’t be late. And besides, Bernice won’t say anything when she sees you. You know she only likes you and God Almighty! Only Heaven knows why!” I started laughing as I finished cleaning the shaving cream from my face.
“Jose! Let’s go!” She seemed to be getting more impatient with me now.
“I’m sorry. I just like messing with you!”
“That’s yet another reason that I love you, even if Bernice thinks that I’m crazy about it.”
“You mean she’s crazy, right?”
“Oh man! Let’s Go! I’ll wait for you by the door.”
“Okay, Mi Negrita (my dear).”
“You better not call me that around Bernice. You know that she thinks that you are calling me black instead of ‘dear,’” Luisa said with a warning tone in her voice.
“I’ve tried to explain that to her, but she just can’t get around the language and understand that it doesn’t mean black.”
“Well, you two can deal with it. I’m going to stay out of that conversation, Mi Negrito!” Luisa couldn’t contain her laughter at this point.
“I love your laugh! It fills my soul with such a joy,” I said emphatically.
“It’s only for you, dear.”
Later, I would miss Luisa’s laugh and the sound of it echoing through the house that we shared. It never got lonely or boring with Luisa here.
“Okay, I’m ready,” I announced as I walked down the hallway.
“Let’s go!”
As we got into the car, I looked around at the beautiful day. “What a beautiful, sunny day. There’s a nice light breeze, no gnats, and I have you! And, yes, you have me, too, Luisa!”
“It is a beautiful day!” she replied as she looked out of the window of the car. “Are you going to go down King’s Street?”
“Yes, just a little bit. You know the streets are crowded with tourists this time of the day.”
“You are right. A smart decision.” Luisa turned back to look out of the window.
A few minutes later, we arrived at the park entrance.
“Wow, we got here quick!” Luisa said.
“And over there on the north side of the park is your crazy friend Bernice.”
“Please, my dear, don’t mess with her this afternoon.”
“Okay, I will try to be on my best behavior.”
“Pull over there behind Bernice’s car,” Luisa advised me
I drove over and pulled up behind Bernice. As we got out of the car, she and Bernice exchange hellos.
“Hello, Bernice,” I said, walking toward her.
“Hey yourself. You’re not going to say something smart to me?” She sounded puzzled.
“Nope. Luisa has me under wraps this afternoon.”
“Good for her!” Bernice exclaimed.
“Good for you,” I whispered under my breath.
“Did you say something, Jose?” They both asked.
“Nada (Nothing).”
Bernice looked at both of us and I could see a small smile starting on her lips. “Jose, I know that you are going to be a great father. And you, Luisa, I can see in your eyes that you are going to be a great mother.”
We reached for each other with tears in our eyes as Bernice started talking about going to see this baby boy.
“Now, the place we are going to has no address so that strangers and parents of the foster children can’t go in and take them. They must go through the legal process if they want to get their child back. Remember, he is only two weeks old. The mother still has rights to take him back until he is six months old. Then, if the adoption goes through, she has up to one year to contest the adoption. I know that sounds like a lot and may be hard to digest, but it is the law. We have so many mothers that can’t take care of their children at first, then they get straightened out and want to get their babies back.”
“We understand, Bernice. We are here to see him and then leave everything up to God. He will show us how we need to proceed.” I was very sincere in telling Bernice my thoughts.
“Good. Let’s go in my car. They know it there at the home.”
“Okay,” replied Luisa. “Bernice, I am full of so much emotion! I can’t wait to hold this beautiful baby boy!”
“Luisa, remember, we are just going to see him.”
A short ride later, we arrived at the foster home.
“Ah, here we are. Remember, you can’t come here without my supervision.”
“We understand,” I told Bernice.
“Also, they will not let you in, but they will call the police. You don’t want to mess with these guys since they understand who we are, what we do, and that we need this place for the safe care of these precious babies.”
We made our way up the walkway and to the door. “Let’s go in. I have to punch in the code to get in the door. They change it every day to make sure that they are secure.”
“Wow! I see.” Luisa looked amazed at all that was done to protect the children.
“Madeline, these are two of my clients. We are here to see the two-week old boy from St. Francis Hospital.”
“Oh, yes. I will go get him. He is such a good baby. He eats and sleeps very good.”
Bernice turned to me and asked if I was ready to see him.
“Yes, I am more than ready.” I could barely contain the excitement in my voice, knowing that he was only a few steps away from us.
Madeline returned to us with a baby boy wrapped in a bundle. Luisa immediately started glowing and smiling at him. “He is so cute! Bright eyes and beautiful skin! Jose, look at the head full of hair!”
“Yes, he is perfect, Luisa.” I was smiling, too.
“Jose, look! He seems to be looking at us talking! Mi Cariñito! (My little dear!) I feel your soul looking at me!”
Bernice was taking in all of the interactions. She turned to me and asked, “Would you like to hold him?”
“Yes, of course!”
Madeline handed me this beautiful bundle. Instantly he moved his hands toward mine. “Wow, his little hand is grabbing my finger!”
“He seems like he already knows you, my love.” Luisa was still smiling at us.
I gazed at him for a few more minutes and handed him to Luisa.
Madeline looked at me and said, “I am going to have to take him now. He needs a change and a bottle.”
Luisa turned to Madeline and asked, “Can I feed him?”
“Maybe the next time.”
“Thank you for letting us hold him, Madeline.”
She smiles at Luisa. “It was my pleasure.”
Bernice started walking toward the door. “Let’s go,” she said. As we closed the door, she turned to Luisa and noticed her expression. “Luisa, what’s wrong? Why are you crying?”
“I didn’t want to leave him. He is all alone in this world. I felt his soul.”
I felt the same as Luisa did. “Luisa, we will come back and see him, if that’s okay with Bernice.”
“I will see what I can do to arrange another visit. But let’s go now. We have a lot to do to prepare you.”
My darling was very quiet on the way back to the park to get our car. Bernice was also quiet, understanding that Luisa was battling inner emotions. I later found out that Bernice had given up a child when she was much younger. She was abandoned by her boyfriend and her family. She was alone, on the street, and scared. So she gave up her child for adoption. It was then when I understood why she became a social worker and why seemed hard sometimes; she didn’t want to see children without a family to love and care for them.
As we got close to the park, I asked Luisa if she wanted to get something for dinner. “Would you like to go to the Lebanese restaurant that’s in front of the Apple store on King’s street?”
Luisa was looking out of the window wistfully.
Bernice gently said, “Luisa?”
“Sure,” she finally responded.
Bernice reached over and grabbed her hand. “What you’re feeling is okay. Remember that a mother’s instinct will always be there. Especially seeing small children.”
“Thank you, Bernice.”
Bernice took the road to get us to the restaurant. “You back there! Do you have anything that you want to say?”
“Nope, I’m staying on the sidelines where it is safe.”
“Are you punking out on me now?”
“Nope, not me. Are we back to normal now?”
Luisa joined in now. “You two are too much sometimes!” She was laughing with us.
“Ah, there is a parking space! They are so hard to find this time of day.”
“True,” Bernice agreed with me as she pulled into the empty spot.
“Bernice, why don’t you call Emilio to meet us for dinner?”
She looked at me with a smirk. “Why don’t you mind your business and leave Emilio out of this?”
“Are you mad at him again? You know that man loves you and is crazy about you?” I told her, then more quietly so she won’t hear me, “Or maybe he’s just crazy?”
No such luck! She heard me. “I’m not going to answer that!”
“You just did!” With that, I started chuckling.
“Luisa…” Bernice said with a warning in her voice.
“Jose, Por Favor (please), you promised!”
“Okay, I’m sorry. Stay put, ladies. I will get your doors.”
As I got around to open the door for Bernice, she said, “Jose, you need to teach Emilio to open my door! Sometimes, I wanna slap the brown off him, but then I do love him and am grateful for him.”
I got to the front door of the restaurant and held it open for Luisa and Bernice. As we went inside, I saw the owner/manager, Jawad 
. “Salalm 
, Abu Samir,” I said to him.
“Salam 
, Jose,” he replied. “Salam 
, ladies. Please sit down.”
“You get around, don’t you?” Bernice said, looking back and forth at us.
We got to the table and I looked at Bernice and responded, “Yes, even though I’m a Jew and he’s a Lebanese Arab Christian, we have few differences. We have more in common than not.”
“Oh, I see.”
“Cariño, can you just order me something light?” Luisa said to me.
“How about an Arab salad with hummus and some warm tea?”
She shook her head in agreement. “That sounds fine.”
“Bernice, would like rice, meat, or vegetables?”
“It all sounds good, how about a sampler plate?”
“Samir, we would like an Arab salad with hummus and warm tea with mint for Luisa. A sampler platter for Bernice. Shukraan 
(Thank you).”
Bernice looked to me. “Are you always this polite?”
“I try to be. Since we Spanish Jews were a nomadic people suffering inquisition, expulsion, and fleeing since our existence, I see no need to be rude.”
“I didn’t realize that you were all a dislocated people.”
“Yes, but we survived by the grace of the Almighty; we have learned to be gracious to others who have gone through or going through displacement.”
“Luisa, you did marry a somewhat nice guy,” Bernice said with a newfound respect.
“Yes, I did,” Luisa agreed, smiling at me. “And thank you for today. You gave me a joy that I will never forget.”
“I am happy for that. But remember, once you decide to adopt, you’ll have to go through the process before you can officially have him. And, still, have to wait for the one-year ruling. Jose, your staff can do the paperwork once Y’all make a decision, right?”
“Yes, of course.” Our food arrived at the table. “Gracias (Thank you)!”
“What have you ordered? It looks so good, and the smell…” Bernice’s eyes were closed as she smelled the food.
Luisa looked toward me. “That’s the Middle Eastern spices; they are amazing. Jose, will you please say grace?”
“Actually, I would be honored if you did, Bernice.”
“Thank you, Jose! Dear Lord, I’m so grateful for this new food that you have blessed me with. And thank you for friends who understand when you can’t understand. In your name, Messiah Jesus. Amen. The ending was for you, Jose.”
“I understand more than you think.”
Luisa took several bites of her dinner. “Oh my! This salad with the goat cheese is amazing; the fresh hummus and warm pita bread has me mouthwatering!”
“I’m glad that you are enjoying it. And how about you, Bernice?”
“Is this lamb?”
“Yes, it is. Do you like it?”
“It is amazing; very tender. The rice is good, too. It has a flavor to it that I don’t recognize.”
“It’s saffron.”
“You’re kidding. It’s quite expensive.”
“It can be.”
The waiter came by to check on us. “Can you please bring three cups of Arabic coffee?”
“None for me dear,” said Luisa.
I looked back to the waiter. “Only two cups then, Shukraan 
.”
“A Jew speaking Arabic.” Bernice was softly laughing as she said that.
“A Geechee speaking English?”
“Well…yes.”
I turned more toward Bernice to talk with her more. “See, Bernice, we have more in common than what you think. We are from the same region, with the same displacements, and now we find answers here in Charleston, South Carolina, in a Lebanese restaurant eating amazing food. Now, that’s country.”
Luisa started laughing in a teasing way. “You Southern boy!”
I joined in with her laughter for a short time. Then I straightened up in my chair to address Bernice again. “Bernice, thank you; really, Luisa and I just can’t thank you enough.”
“I know it wouldn’t cross your minds or hearts what the baby looked like. You both just wanted to love a baby and bring him up and show him love the way you two love each other.”
“I’m speechless, but I will wait to see what happens,” Luisa said as she grabbed my hand.
Bernice noticed this small gesture, and for once she enjoyed the moment. Not that she hadn’t noticed our actions before, but today was a turning point for all of us. If only she would allow Emilio Sanchez into that private place in her heart, she might experience the happiness that we found.
“That was a great meal, Jose,” Bernice said. “Even though it’s expensive, it was so good!”
“Geechee woman, I’m paying. Remember, I make more than you do, so please let me bless you.”
“You don’t have to rub it in that you make more than me,” she said half joking, half serious.
“What I meant was—” I tried to start explaining, but Bernice cut me off midsentence.
“You already stuck your foot in that mouth of yours, so keep it there.”
“I’m truly sorry. I didn’t mean to offend you. I just want to bless you.”
“It took you long enough to apologize, Jose. How did that foot taste while it was in your mouth?”
Luisa joined the conversation now. “Bernice, leave my man alone; he’s trying.” She said this without being mean, with love in her tone.
“That’s the problem; he’s trying with a foot in his mouth.”
“No puedo ganar por perder.”
“Luisa, what is your man saying?”
Luisa replied, “I can’t win for losing!”
“You know I love you, Jose. Just keeping you in check. Luisa gave me permission.”
I turned to Luisa and pretend to be shocked. “Luisa?!” I could barely keep from smiling.
“Amor (My love), it will be okay,” was all she could say. Then she started to softly laugh at my expression.
“Bernice, you need to bring by Emilio some time.”
“I can’t,” she said with a wistful look on her face.
“Cariño, let’s leave that alone for now,” Luisa said, placing her hand on my arm gently.
“Okay.”
After I paid for the meal, we took the short ride back to the park to get our car. “Thank you for joining us. Please give my regards to Emilio.”
“Thank you. I will.”
As we got in our car, I turned to Luisa and asked, “What’s going on with Emilio?”
“He has PTSD really bad. Afghanistan really messed him up. She does all that she can to cope with his silence and his outbursts. It is very serious.”
“Would you like for me to call some people to see if we can help?”
“That would be nice. Now you understand Bernice. She lives with a man, that isn’t her husband anymore.”
“That’s so sad. Imagine the people that have seen war, rape, turmoil, all sort of violence, and have no one to help them!”
“Si, Mi Amor (Yes, my dear).” Luisa had the start of tears in her eyes now.
“Now I see Bernice through different eyes. Lord, I am so overwhelmed!”
She looked over to me and places her hand on my arm gently. “Now you can see why she and I are so close. We just care so much for each other.”
“Yes, my love.”
We got home, and Luisa went to lie down for a bit. She had a headache; they seemed to be getting more frequent than before. As she walked toward the stairs, I asked, “What’s your schedule for tomorrow?”
“I have a meeting since school is out.”
“Okay, go lie down. I am just going to mess around in the kitchen for a bit.”
“Gracias. You are a crazy Spanish man!”
“Be careful, I might chase you to a place you don’t want to go!” I told her with a laughing warning.
“You’re too much!”
Luisa awoke to the aroma of my cooking. She said it was always so sweet to her senses. My Spanish cooking helped me to relax and unwind. We snacked a little, then sat on the couch. Luisa was snuggled up in my arms. We just sat in the quiet of the house, listening to the sounds in front of the highway traffic, birds. I certainly felt God’s presence at this moment as Luisa looked to me and said she felt so safe there.