As the years passed, Jeremiah continued to grow into an intelligent young man. He studied hard and kept his grades up. His GPA was among the highest in his graduating class. He was ready to apply for college. It seemed like just yesterday that we brought him home as an infant.
I was enjoying teaching. My class was one of the most requested by law students. Those who were in my class wanted more. They seemed to learn and yearn for the law. They absorbed what I was teaching. I felt at peace mostly while teaching; it was because I felt Luisa beside me, guiding me. I was still gloomy and down most of the time. I still missed her greatly.
One day, as I stopped by the old office to chat with John, Brittany looked between me and John. “I think that it’s time.” John simply nodded then walked away, back to his office. “You have an appointment tomorrow at 3:00 p.m. with Dr. Stockwell.”
“Who?” I was puzzled. How did that happen? Who was this doctor? Why did I need to go? My mind was racing, full of questions.
“Dr. Stockwell,” Brittany repeated.
“But I didn’t make that appointment. I don’t know who that is!” I was protesting now.
“Your wife made the appointment.”
“What? How?”
Brittany reached into her desk drawer and pulled out an envelope. “Luisa gave this letter to me before she passed away. She asked me to call Dr. Stockwell and make an appointment for you when I felt like you needed it.”
I was still shocked and resistant to go, but little did I know that this appointment would change my life. “So you’re saying that I have to go?”
“No, you have a choice. But what I am saying is that you need to go.”
“Can I see the note that she left you?”
“Sorry, but I can’t. She asked for me not to show you. But will you please go? Please? For Luisa? For all of us? But most of all, for you?” She was almost begging me now.
As I agreed to go, I looked up. “My darling Luisa, what are you up to?”
“Thank you, Jose. Thank you for listening to me and Luisa.”
The next day promptly at 2:55 p.m., I went into the building where Dr. Stockwell’s office was. There was a sign posted that listed where the offices where. I noticed that her office was at the end of the hall where I was. I went into the door and spoke with the receptionist. “I have an appointment with Dr. Stockwell at 3:00.”
“Okay, follow me.” She got up and let me through the door. She walked with me to a door that was closed. The sign had Dr. Stockwell’s name and degrees listed. She told me to just knock when I was ready before she went back to her desk.
After a minute of standing and thinking of going back to my car and going home, I remembered that this was for Luisa. I knocked quietly on the door. Behind the door I heard a voice telling me to come in.
I opened the door, and went in. She invited me to sit down in the chair across from her desk. I looked around and saw various books and pictures. But still, I was unsure of the visit. “I don’t really know why I am here. Are you Dr. Stockwell?”
“Yes, I am.”
“I wasn’t going to come.”
“I know,” she simply said. She had her hands folded on the desk in front of her.
“How could you know? You don’t know me.”
“Most people don’t want to talk after suffering a loss.”
“You know, I do this for a living. I read people and give advice from God to them.”
“Yes, I know.” She shook her head.
This doctor really wasn’t talking a lot or offering any advice to me. I was beginning to really wonder why I came in the first place. “We’re not getting anywhere with this—”
She cut me off. “Yes, we are making some progress. You’re talking to me.”
I stood up, ready to leave. “I really don’t need to be here.”
“So you say.”
“Are you going to play this game? Where we just go back and forth with nothing important being said? Nothing accomplished?”
“No, I will stop when you stop.”
“Okay, I will stop.”
“Good. I know why you are here.”
“How on God’s green earth could you know?” I was more confused now than ever.
Dr. Stockwell reached into her desk drawer and pulled out an envelope. “This letter will explain. Please read it.”
I opened the envelope carefully. I was still not sure what was inside or what would happen, but I knew that I had nothing to lose at this point.
My dearest husband,
Please forgive me for leaving you so early. Don’t be upset with Brittany or Dr. Stockwell. I knew that when the time was right, you would need to talk to someone outside of your circle. I love you and trust that you will trust God in you. I also pray that you will trust God in Dr. Stockwell. She is here to talk to you and help you through this process.
With love forever,
Luisa
As I fought back tears and emotions, I looked over to Dr. Stockwell. “How did you know my wife?”
“She came to talk with me several times after she was diagnosed with cancer. We talked more frequently after it got worse. We became friends through the process. She wanted to be strong for you.”
“She certainly was strong, but I never knew she was coming here.”
Dr. Stockwell looked straight into my eyes as if she were trying to reach my soul. “Rabbi, she needed you more than you needed her at that time. We all need someone who can hear our soul besides God.”
“Yes. She really was a wise woman.” I stopped and thought for a moment. “Wow, I say was, but here, in this letter, she is still alive in these words.”
“She will always be a part of you in her words and your thoughts.”
I thought on this for a moment. “Now you’re getting theological.”
“Not really, just a realist.”
“Realist you are. My fellow clergy, I just haven’t felt led to open up to them.”
“That’s understandable. Sometimes it is hard to open up to anyone.”
I nodded my head in agreement. “Can we meet again?”
“Yes, I know that you need to digest what you just read and what has happened. I will be here when you are ready to talk more.”
We said good-bye and I walked back to the receptionist. As I pulled out my wallet, I asked, “How much do I owe for today’s visit?”
Her response shocked me even more. “Your wife has already paid. She has taken care of you.”
“I…” I didn’t know how to respond. It was as if Luisa was still here, even though I knew that she was gone. But I slowly realized that her love for me was still alive. Through all of this, she was still showing me how she cared for me.
The receptionist seemed to understand that I needed a moment to process her response. After some time, she said, “You can have Brittany call me when you are ready to schedule your next visit.”
I walked out of the office still holding the letter, looking at it as if it were Luisa, alive in front of me.