ACT 1. SCENE 2.

So in time we are a little after JESSICA and JASON left the basement.

They’re sitting on playground swings. Drinking coke from cans.

JESSICA has taken her puppet off.

JASON has not.

JASON takes a drink of his soda.

He is using the puppet mouth to hold the can.

It’s a little funny.

JESSICA maybe giggles.

JASON maybe gets red.

Maybe switches the soda to his other hand.

JESSICA   You don’t take that thing off much do you?

JASON   I do. I do all the time. I spend long periods of time with it off. Like in the bath. Or when swimming. Or …

JESSICA   Only when dealing with water.

JASON   What?

JESSICA   What, is he some kinda hydrophobe?

JASON   Who Tyrone?

JESSICA   Is that his name?

JASON   Ummm. Yeah.

JESSICA   And he’s afraid of water.

JASON   I know what hydrophobe means.

JESSICA I didn’t think you didn’t.

JASON   He just takes a really long time to dry. You take him into the pool once and there goes your Saturday night, alone in the bathroom with the hair dryer.

She giggles again.

He gets red again.

JESSICA   Aww you’re embarrassed.

JASON   I’m not embarrassed.

JESSICA   You don’t have to be embarrassed.

JASON   Good I’m not.

JESSICA   I think it’s sweet how much you love your puppet.

JASON   I don’t love my puppet.

JESSICA   Well how much you like your puppet.

JASON   I don’t like my puppet.

JESSICA   How much you need your puppet.

He gets up to go.

JESSICA   Hey. Hey, don’t leave.

JASON   Stop making fun of me.

JESSICA   I’m not.

JASON   I’m …

JESSICA   Really I’m not. I saw The Lion King. I think it’s cool.

JASON   Are you sure you’re not making fun of me.

JESSICA   I’m sure.

JASON   ’Cause I know it’s not cool.

JESSICA   It is.

JASON   You don’t have to patronize me.

JESSICA   I’m not. I like it when you make him sing.

This one lets him believe her.

JASON Thank you.

He turns around.

JASON   You wanna see something.

JESSICA   Ummm.

JASON   You’ll like it.

JESSICA   Yeah?

JASON   I think you’ll like it.

JESSICA   Okay.

JASON   Okay.

JASON slicks back his hair. Takes a deep breath and then says …

JASON   Well Costello, I’m goin to New York with you. You know Buck Harris the Yankee’s manager gave me a job as coach as long as you’re on the team.

TYRONE   Look Abbott, if you’re the coach, you must know all the players.

JASON   I certainly do.

TYRONE   Well I’ve never met the guys. So you’ll have to tell me their names and then I’ll know who’s playing on the team.

JASON   Oh I’ll tell you their names, but you know it seems to me they give these ball players now-a-days very particular names.

As he starts he’s a little aspergersy, but as he goes on he gets more and more comfortable.

TYRONE   You mean funny names?

JASON   Well let’s see we have on the bags, Who’s on first, What’s on second, I don’t know is on third …

TYRONE   That’s what I want to find out.

JASON   I say Who’s on first, What’s on second, I don’t know’s on third.

TYRONE   Are you the manager?

JASON   Yes.

TYRONE   You gonna be the coach too?

JASON   Yes.

TYRONE   And you don’t know the fellows’ names.

JASON   Well I should.

TYRONE   Then who’s on first?

JASON   Yes?

TYRONE   I mean the fellow’s name.

JASON   Who.

TYRONE   The guy on first.

JASON   Who.

TYRONE   The first baseman.

JASON   Who.

TYRONE   The guy playing …

JASON is really into it. You can imagine him going into it all alone on a Saturday night.

JESSICA is giggling a bit.

JASON   Who is on first.

TYRONE   I’m askin you who’s on first.

JASON   That’s the man’s name.

TYRONE   That’s whose name.

JASON   Yes.

TYRONE   Well go ahead and tell me.

JASON   I just did.

TYRONE   Who?

JASON   Yes.

JASON reaches a pause in the routine and looks out at her.

He becomes aware of what he’s doing.

JESSICA   What are you doing. Don’t stop.

JASON I …

He gets red.

JESSICA   What?

JASON   I can’t remember anymore.

JESSICA   That’s really good.

JASON   Thank you.

JASON goes back to sit down.

JESSICA   Did you come up with that all by yourself.

JASON   Yes.

TYRONE   (As if on his own.) Liar.

JASON grabs one hand with the other.

JASON   Shut up.

JESSICA giggles.

TYRONE wriggles free.

TYRONE   It’s a famous routine from the fifties.

JASON   Thirties.

TYRONE   You’d know that if you weren’t so stupid.

JESSICA   Hey.

JASON   Shut up Tyrone.

JESSICA   Yeah, shut up Tyrone.

TYRONE   But it doesn’t matter ’cause he thinks you’re hot.

JASON   That is enough.

JASON puts his hand over the PUPPET’s mouth.

JESSICA   You think I’m hot.

JASON   No …

She looks a little hurt.

JASON   Yes.

She looks a little embarrassed.

JASON   I don’t know.

The PUPPET bites JASON’s finger.

JASON puts his finger in his mouth.

JASON   Ouch.

TYRONE   So hot. So hot he can’t keep from touching himself.

JESSICA   Jason.

TYRONE   Touching himself in the dark.

JESSICA   Jason stop.

JASON   Tyrone.

TYRONE   The things he thinks about you.

JESSICA   Jason this isn’t funny.

JASON   I know.

TYRONE   Thinks about doing to you.

JASON   Tyrone.

TYRONE   What.

JASON   Stop.

TYRONE   You can’t stop it.

JASON   Yes I can.

JASON grabs the PUPPET by the neck in a violent motion and pulls it clear off.

He throws it to the ground.

There is of course a pause.

JASON   Jessica. I …

JESSICA   I’m gonna see if my dad’s here.

JASON   I’m sorry.

JESSICA   It’s okay. It’s fine. Don’t even worry.

JASON   Don’t go.

JESSICA   I’ll see you next week.

JASON   Please don’t go.

JESSICA   Bye now.

JESSICA goes. JASON watches her go.

He goes over to the PUPPET.

He takes the PUPPET up and holds it by the sides of the head.

JASON   Shit.